One evening, when it already got dark, Jonghyun’s sister came to my shop and cursed me for shamelessly making Jonghyun to continue our marriage. I tried to explain her but she didn’t listen. She got angrier and angrier then hit me so bad and left. I was left alone inside my shop. There was no one with me. My stomach got hurt the most. I almost ran out of my control and likely to faint soon. Suddenly Aron-shi arrived and he rushed to carry me.

“Haewon, what happened to you?” he worriedly asked.

“My boyfriend’s sister beat me for still seeing her brother. Now my stomach is so hurt. I can’t bear anymore.” I tried to tell him with my weak voice.

“Bear a little bit more! I’ll take you to hospital.” He said then quickly carried me in his arms to put in his car then drove me to hospital.

-----

I arrived at hospital. Aron-shi entered the treatment room with me. I was still in my conscious so I could see how worried he was for me. He kept holding my hand tight and I felt so warm.

Doctor finished checking and Aron-shi impatiently asked doctor about my condition.

“Thanks god that you brought her to hospital on time. Otherwise your wife would have lost the baby.” Doctor announced and I received a great shock.

“Doctor, do you mean I’m pregnant?” I was in panic, asking the doctor to say it again.

“Yes, for one month now. Congratulations! I’ll give you some vitamin. Just rest here one hour more then you can go back home.” Doctor said then left.

“No, no! This can’t be. Why god is playing with my life like this? Hik hik so I got pregnant with that stranger? Oh god, I don’t even know his face. And Jonghyun has just made up with me. Now how am I supposed to get married? What should I do?” I kept bawling painfully on bed. Aron-shi pulled me into his embrace and patted my head to console.

“I’m sorry to see you hurt like this, Haewon.”

“Aron-shi, how do I suppose to do? How am I going to get married with having other man’s baby inside my stomach?... Right, I should just abort it and keep it as a secret from Jonghyun.” I released myself from his embrace and turned to look at him to hear his response.

He looked so shocked to hear. “No, you can’t abort it. The baby is innocent.”

“But I can’t keep it. It will make me and Jonghyun break up again. I’ll abort it. I’ll go to call doctor to abort this damn baby for me. I don’t need it.” I said then was trying to get off from bed.

“NO YOU CAN’T ABORT THIS BABY!” he yelled at me for the first time. I was so shocked to be shouted at him for the first time. I didn’t know why he would react furiously like this. He grabbed my both shoulders and kept staring at me with tearful eyes.

“If you don’t need this baby, just give birth to it and I’ll grow it by myself.” He added with serious face. I lost my words to see his never-seen behavior.

“Aron-shi, why would you do like this?” I hesitatingly asked him with fear.

“Haewon, I won’t allow you to abort this baby. You’re the mother. You can’t kill your own baby. Just give birth then give it to me!” he seriously warned me again.

I was scared of him so I dared not to insist him more than this. I remained silent then he drove me back home.

-----

Since that day, I started having morning sick a lot. I kept vomiting and having dizzy a lot. I couldn’t go to work anymore. This morning sick was just too much. Aron-shi called me so I told him about my condition. I let him into my rent house because he insisted. He brought me a lot of things for pregnancy. He made me very curious with his behavior. However, no matter how he persuaded me to keep it, I still wanted to abort it.

“I told you right. You can’t abort this baby. Don’t you love your own baby a little bit?” he shouted at me again whenever I told him I wanted to abort it.

“Not even a little! I don’t love or need this damn baby. It’s disgusting. You can’t understand the feeling of being . That man was disgusting. He roughly me. I’m still scared until now. And this baby is more disgusting so I don’t care. Tomorrow I’ll go to abort it. I have to marry Jonghyun.” I shouted back.

Aron-shi furiously stared at me. “Am I this disgusting to you, Haewon?” he said something that I couldn’t understand. I looked at him curiously. He started ing his shirt. I became more curious. “Wh-what are you doing Aron-shi?”

He didn’t reply. He paused from taking off his shirt then grabbed me to lie on the floor. I tried to protest him. “Stay still! I’ll show you something.” He came above me and told me to stop protesting. Then he continued ing his shirt then took it off, making his upper body . I quickly closed my eyes. “Open your eyes and see what you should see. You’ve been curious who the man that you that night, right?” Aron-shi spoke out those words and I opened my eyes. I carefully looked at his body and saw the scar on his stomach. It looked like the scar I helped to clean for that stranger who me that night. “This scar…” I burst out crying in disbelief. “Yes, I was that injured man who entered your shop that night and forced you to sleep with, Haewon.” He admitted then burst out crying.

“This can’t be… hik hik so you’re really that man?”

“I’m sorry, Haewon. I can explain to you everything about that night.”

“What the hell is the reason to a girl? Hik hik why did you me? We didn’t even know each other that time. How could you me and made my life in this state?” I started hitting his chest strongly with all anger I had.

“I really have my reason. Please calm down and hear me first!”

“No, I don’t want to hear or see you anymore. I’ll go and abort this baby right now.” I said then tried to push him from me.

“No, you can’t kill our baby. This baby is innocent. Please let our baby live, Haewon, I beg you!” he kept crying, begging me.

“No way! I hate you. I hate your baby. I won’t keep it. Let go of me!”

“Haewon, don’t!” he wouldn’t let go of me. He kept grabbing me tighter and then violently attacked my lips. I tried to push him but he didn’t let go at all. After revealing his identity to me, he didn’t just not let go of me but he forced me to sleep with him again. I became more painful and furious. My feeling at this state, if I had a knife, I would stab him to death right away….. You, Kwak Aron, you’re so cheap. This is the way you use to explain to me? Seriously Kwak Aron? You’re me again, you disgusting man.

Finally, he shamelessly forced a weak girl like me successfully again.

“I’m sorry, Haewon. I’m sorry for forcing you again but this time I did it with love. I love you so much and when I know we have a baby like this, I love you even more. Let’s get married and grow our baby together!” he was giving me a back hug while I painfully sobbed alone.

“It’ll never happen. I won’t give birth to your baby. I’ll marry Jonghyun and have baby with only Jonghyun. We will have lovely babies together not a disgusting baby like your baby.” I tried to hurt him by painful words back.

“Haewon, I beg you. Even though you can’t accept me, please give life to our baby! At least you’re the mother.” He cried.

I left his embrace. I got up to sit and stared at him. “This baby shouldn’t see this world. I’ll kill your baby for revenge. Wait and see!” I cruelly said to him then dressed up and went to my room.

I kept crying inside my room. I didn’t know why but the last expression of his after I said my last words to him got me so emotional. He looked so sad like he really wanted me to keep the baby. But my anger for him is bigger than anything so I decided to go to hospital to abort this baby tomorrow.

-----

Next day, I woke up and dressed up to go to hospital. As I opened my room door to leave, he was still inside my place, looking so heart-broken. I tried to ignore him and was walking to leave. He suddenly came in front of me and kneeled down.

“Please don’t kill the innocent baby! I’ll go and beg Jonghyun to marry you after giving birth to my baby. I promise to make him marry you even you have my baby. Please let our baby live, Haewon!” he emotionally cried and begged me on his knees. I couldn’t refuse that I felt moved by this but I tried to hide my feeling and kept acting cold to him. “Say good-bye to your baby now, Kwak Aron! I’m on the way to abort it.” I tried to act heartlessly then left him. His mental broke down and I could hear his crying voice even from outside the house. I started crying too after I was safe from his eyes sight. It was so hurt for me too.

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I went to hospital and was waiting for my number to be called.

“Honey, I can’t wait to see our baby’s gender. Look at our baby’s scan, he or she is getting big a lot. Maybe when it turns 3 months, we can know the gender.” A couple was sitting next to me were being excited to look at their baby’s scan. I secretly looked at the scan and tried to touch my stomach to feel the baby for the first time.

“How does one-month baby look like?” I thought alone.

Finally it’s my turn. I got in the consultant room. I originally wanted to ask about abortion but when doctor asked what I wanted to do, I changed my mind to say I wanted to do the scanning for the baby.

“See, this is your baby. One-month is still this small but it’ll grow bigger and bigger. When it turns to 3 months, you can know the gender. As time passes, the baby grows bigger and cuter. When it’s strong enough, it’ll hit your stomach. It’s the message how it wants to come out to see its parents’ face especially its mother.” Doctor was explaining me about the baby’s process as I told him it’s my first time. I cried all of a sudden and at this moment I knew I can’t kill a life. I gave up on aborting the baby and decided to give a birth to it but I decided to keep it in secret.

-----

I called Jonghyun to meet and told him everything about my pregnancy and the man who forced me that night. Jonghyun was so angry at first. He wanted to go and kill Aron but I stopped him. Jonghyun didn’t force me to abort the baby and still accepts me to be his bride but I couldn’t. I asked him to cancel our marriage and helped me to hide my pregnancy news from everyone for a moment. I felt really sorry for Jonghyun. He is a good man but I wasn’t lucky enough to have him this life. He understood my burden so he didn’t force me to marry him. He also promised to remain as a good friend with me and take care of me as much as he can.

-----

After finishing every problem with Jonghyun, I went back to my rent house. As I arrived, I saw Aron was standing in front of my house, waiting for me.

“Why are you still here? Haven’t I made thing clear with you already this morning? Or did you come to confirm your baby’s death news?” I tried to act cruelly to him again.

“So you already aborted our baby?” he said with his shaky voice and ready to cry again.

“I aborted this worthless baby already. Seeing you’re hurt like this, I think it’s enough. Let’s call it a deal! Stop seeing me from now on, Kwak Aron. Just go to hell or wherever you want but not in front of me anymore. I warn you.” I said then walked in my house.

I secretly looked at him through the window. He was on his knees, bawling in pain alone. I painfully cried with him too. “Sorry, my baby! I can’t accept your father after what he did to me that night. But I’ll try my best to grow you. You stay with mommy.” I patted my stomach and talked to my baby.

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