Following Heechul’s explanation, Ryeowook made sure to stay close to Kyuhyun and always keep an eye on the other’s reactions if something new occurred and letting Kyuhyun take the first steps.

When they arrived in Shanghai, they only stayed long enough to allow the other three to feed, at least one person staying with Ryeowook at all times, and to get the equipment that they’d need, then they journeyed on. It was at about the same time that Ryeowook thought he could see glimpses of his Kyuhyun in the way the harsh glare mostly disappeared from Kyuhyun’s eyes, in a gentler word or two, in a longing glance, a brief, gentle touch… Those moments made Ryeowook’s heart fly sky-high and crash at full force when they were over. And still, he did his best to keep up a cheerful and understanding attitude, clinging to each moment that Kyuhyun seemed to overcome the manipulation, no matter how fleeting the moment was.

☆ ☆ ☆

They were a little more than a day away from Wuhan, according to Hangeng’s prediction, and had separated for the night, like they always did. Hangeng and Heechul had walked ahead to look for shelter while Ryeowook and Kyuhyun stayed back, giving both sides the chance for a few hours of privacy.

Ryeowook mechanically prepared his spot to sleep. They had sought shelter underneath a tree with low branches, not having bothered to build a tent for this short journey to Wuhan, and Ryeowook was grateful that they were resting during the days because the nights started to get really cold. Where would they go after this? And they could hardly sleep outside all the time, could they? No, not in winter! So what were they supposed to do? Where were they supposed to go?

And what about Kyuhyun? This day had been rough with only the manipulated version of Kyuhyun showing. Was this what Ryeowook had to get used to, a mix of bad days and good days? Hadn’t Kyuhyun said at one point that his sire’s manipulation would fade completely eventually? But then why was his behavior contradicting that statement?

Kyuhyun… He missed Kyuhyun so much. Was it possible to miss a person despite spending all his time with that person?

Ryeowook felt his throat tighten and he pushed those fears away. No, he wouldn’t break down right then! He wasn’t allowed to break down! He needed to be strong! For himself, for Kyuhyun, for Hangeng and Heechul!

“Ryeowook.”

Ryeowook’s head shot up and he spun around at the sound of those two syllables, at the tender affection in them, and his resolve crumbled, almost breaking entirely when he saw the carefully focused and gentle expression on Kyuhyun’s face.

“Kyuhyun… You…”

Kyuhyun shook his head lightly. “It’s not over yet. But it’s getting easier.”

“But… today…”

“I know. It still costs a lot of strength for me to fully be with you like this, to have the upper hand against the thoughts that she implemented in me. So I spent today gathering strength.”

“You…” Ryeowook felt tears burning in his eyes and he crossed the short distance between them, hugging Kyuhyun as tightly as he could, overflowing with emotions when Kyuhyun hugged him back, nestling his face into Ryeowook’s hair, planting a kiss on his head. “I miss you. I miss you so much, Kyuhyun!”

“I know, I know. This must be incredibly difficult for you. Just bear with this a little longer, okay? I’m trying, I—“

“I know. Heechul-hyung keeps on telling me that you’re there, that you’re fighting. It must be so hard to constantly fight like that.”

One of Kyuhyun’s hands gently Ryeowook’s back, the touch so familiar and comforting that it pulled on Ryeowook’s heartstrings. “Heechul told you all of that?”

“Yes. He told me on the ship when you left to feed and again in Shanghai.”

“I’ll have to remember to thank him for this.”

They sat together like that for an eternity and Ryeowook felt his entire world slowly falling back into place, a calmness returning to him that he had missed since they had parted ways.

Eventually, Kyuhyun leaned back just to cup the side of Ryeowook’s face with one hand. His thumb brushed over Ryeowook’s lips, and Kyuhyun’s gaze lowered a little before quickly going back up. “May I?”

“Yes,” Ryeowook breathed out, his heart beating faster at the mere thought of Kyuhyun’s kiss, a tingling excitement that filled everything inside him and made him feel incredibly alive.

Kyuhyun smiled and leaned closer, hesitated, but this time, Ryeowook couldn’t wait any longer. He closed the distance between them and a series of fireworks seemed to go off inside him at the simple kiss, his entire world lighting up from the gentle contact.

Too soon, Kyuhyun broke the kiss, resting his forehead against Ryeowook’s, his voice sounding a little more strained when he spoke up, like staying in control cost him more and more strength. “I love you, Ryeowook. Thank you for staying by my side.”

“I love you, too.”

☆ ☆ ☆

Kyuhyun’s behavior seemed to become better by a tenfold the next night and as a result, Heechul and Hangeng seemed much less adamant about keeping a slight distance between them during the good periods that night. What a blessing their powers were during this trip! But, contrary to Hangeng's prediction, they still had to spend another day sleeping outside.

It was near dawn that following night when Ryeowook finally recognized their surroundings and just as the first sunrays rose over the horizon, they arrived at the mansion that Hangeng and Heechul had occupied for so long. This time, all three vampires left Ryeowook: Kyuhyun to feed, the other two to go to their hideout, leaving Ryeowook in a deafening silence in the middle of the house that had felt like his home for a few short months.

But this time?

He didn’t dare to go upstairs, a mere glance down the hall enough to remind him of the last time he had been there, the day when everything had gone wrong. Instead, he sat down at the dining table. Hangeng and Heechul had wisely taken out all the food. No fire was burning. No wind was blowing outside. No one was around to distract Ryeowook and no tasks had to be done.

All he could do was to sit and stare, his eyes involuntarily going towards the fire pit as the last day they had spent in this house replayed in his mind, involuntarily followed by his departure, by that ship, by… No. He couldn’t think about that. That was in the past—he should just forget about all that.

And yet…

Kyuhyun had suffered greater harm than this, why couldn’t Ryeowook just brush these memories off? The present was so much more important than the past!

And yet…

He should be thinking about how to continue from this point onwards, they hadn’t even figured out whether all four of them would continue their journey together or if they’d part ways!

And yet…

And yet he could almost feel the iciness from Kyuhyun’s eyes that day, the shock when he had used his power against Ryeowook. He could almost see the historian’s polite smile. He could almost feel the agony when the historian had sunk his fangs into Ryeowook’s arm. And he could—

No.

Ryeowook buried his head in his hands, but that didn’t make anything go away, so he got up, restessly walking through the room, double-checking drawers and cupboards, yet the result remained the same.

He didn’t know how often he walked from one side to the other, how often he randomly stopped in front of one piece of furniture or another, how often he sat down only to get up again before he sensed Kyuhyun approaching. Finally! He paused in his steps, finding himself near the fire pit for the umpteenth time while he waited, listened, felt Kyuhyun coming closer, then a pause, before the front door was finally opened.

Kyuhyun entered the room, his expression open and warm. Ryeowook immediately smiled at him, grateful for his return, grateful to have the real Kyuhyun come into the room and not the manipulated version.

Kyuhyun approached him and pulled him into a hug that Ryeowook gladly responded to, cherishing every moment that he got with his Kyuhyun.

“Kyuhyun?” he mumbled after an eternity of just holding the other, receiving a hum in return. “Do you know how much longer this will go on? The uncertainty, the manipulation gaining the upper hand, I mean.”

“Not much longer. Maybe it’s already over.”

“Eh?” Ryeowook leaned back, searching in Kyuhyun’s eyes, finding the other looking pensive.

“I can’t really let my guard down just yet and I’m not entirely certain… But I think I’m at a point now where I can at least mostly keep those alien thoughts in check.”

“But even earlier… You still seemed to be struggling with this!”

Kyuhyun nodded, furrowing his eyebrows. “Feeding seems to help the real me gain strength and stay in control.” He shook his head. “But let’s not talk about that right now. I don’t want to think about her while I’m with you.”

Ryeowook accepted the change of topic with a nod. They had more than enough time to talk about all of that some other time or maybe Kyuhyun would prefer to work through that on his own, but for the time being, what was most important was that they were together!

Ryeowook leaned up and placed a peck on Kyuhyun’s lips, then he took a step back. Wasn’t it unnatural for them to still be in the living room? They should go upstairs! If Kyuhyun, the real Kyuhyun, was by his side, what was there to be afraid of? An uneasiness spread through Ryeowook at those thoughts, but he pushed that feeling away.

Kyuhyun seemed to think the same thing because he led the way upstairs and into the room that they had formerly shared, but right at the threshold, Ryeowook suddenly felt frozen in place. The image of Kyuhyun turning to him, talking to him so nonchalantly like they were strangers, then that wall of fire rushing towards him was back without a warning. No. That was the past. He should not let it ruin the present!

“What’s wrong?”

Ryeowook fixed his eyes on the present Kyuhyun who had tilted his head lightly to the side, eyes carefully searching in Ryeowook’s face with such honesty that Ryeowook felt like a bucket of ice-cold water was emptied over his head. “You don’t remember?”

“Remember what?”

How could Kyuhyun not know? Then again, hadn’t he mentioned at one point that memories of himself under his sire’s manipulation could be hazy? In that case, wasn’t it maybe better this way?

Ryeowook shook his head and put on a smile that felt fake to him, but he hoped that it would nevertheless be able to soothe Kyuhyun in that moment. “Nothing.” He stepped forward and took Kyuhyun’s hand, intertwining their fingers, pulling the other in for another kiss in hopes to avoid any further questions.

To his relief, Kyuhyun didn’t press the issue any further and instead responded to the kiss. As the kiss became deeper and more intense, their hands started exploring, slowly at first, almost shyly, growing more purposeful as each new touch fed into a pool of emotion and desire. And still, there was too much between them. Ryeowook’s hands ran down to Kyuhyun’s sash, unfastening it quickly before he ran his hands back up to brush the outer robe out of the way. Ryeowook’s own robe followed right after, suddenly making him a little self-conscious because his soiled undershirt was revealed.

No. He wouldn’t let that ruin the mood!

Ryeowook broke the kiss and led the way to the bed instead, lying down and pulling Kyuhyun along, wanting to drown out everything else. This moment was just for him and Kyuhyun, no one else, nothing else! He would not let anything ruin it!

He pulled Kyuhyun into another kiss, not wanting to risk a conversation starting, just wanting to feel Kyuhyun, feel good, not think… And Kyuhyun complied, giving Ryeowook exactly what he wanted.

Kyuhyun’s lips left his, going further down, lips and teeth teasing the sensitive skin of Ryeowook’s throat until he felt like he was going insane.

“Kyuhyun…” I want you to feed from me. No, wouldn’t that sound too needy, too much like a demand?

“Yes?” Kyuhyun’s lips moved against Ryeowook’s throat, feeling almost like a tease.

“Will you feed from me? Please?” He longed for that ecstatic rush, longed for an escape, for anything that would bring back the ease that he should feel.

Kyuhyun hesitated and for a moment, all Ryeowook could feel was the other’s breath ghosting over his neck, but he refused to open his eyes, didn’t want to know if Kyuhyun was figuring out that something was off, didn’t want to be faced with anything but the comfort of pleasure, of the other’s touch.

After what felt like an eternity, Kyuhyun’s lips returned to Ryeowook’s neck, planting more sweet, innocently torturous kisses there before he gave in to Ryeowook’s request. Ryeowook let the waves of pleasure crash over him, washing the tension off him, drowning him, he gave in to the intoxicating feeling of Kyuhyun’s feeding. Way too soon, Kyuhyun’s fangs were drawn back, briefly replaced by the other’s tongue that healed the small wounds, then by his lips, so tender, so full of affection and love. Their lips met in another kiss, so much hungrier than the ones before, so much more demanding.

Kyuhyun switched their position and Ryeowook opened his eyes, finding himself on top of Kyuhyun, finding the other watching him with curiosity, then Kyuhyun slightly tilted his head, exposing his neck.

“Do you want to..?”

Ryeowook’s eyes dipped down and his mind catapulted him back to a different scene. Hunger. Excruciating hunger. A willing prey. So easily manipulated into coming closer, too slow.

“I can’t.”

Ryeowook staggered back, shaking his head, trying to get rid of that image, raising his hands to hold his head. “I can’t. I can’t, I can’t!” Why wouldn’t that image go away! It had to go away! This moment was supposed to be perfect! Just the two of them! Only the present!

Monster! I killed him! I let it happen! I wasn’t strong enough! I killed that innocent servant!

“Ryeowook?”

Ryeowook shook his head, but he didn’t resist the gentle touch, didn’t resist when he was pulled into a careful embrace. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

Ryeowook shook his head again. “I can’t. I’m sorry, Kyuhyun, I can’t.”

“What are you apologizing for? It’s okay. What happened?”

“I can’t… Why won’t it go away?” he cried in frustration, trembling. All he was asking for was time for themselves, a good time, void of all the tension that had surrounded them since their separation. Was that really too much to ask?

“What are you talking about?”

Ryeowook shook his head, then finally stopped himself. “I just… I just wanted tonight to feel like an escape: you’re pretty much back, we’re safe, Hangeng-hyung and Heechul-hyung might actually keep us company and instead… Instead I keep on remembering, I can’t drown out everything that happened, I just…”

“What happened? Ryeowook, during this time that we were separated, what happened to you?”

He shook his head again, helpless, frustrated, at a loss of words and unwilling to talk about it when it was so obvious that Kyuhyun had been through worse, when he finally had his Kyuhyun back, when things were getting better… Why talk about bad things when the situation was finally improving?

“Hey, I mean it. Total transparency, remember? I want to know what happened to you." Kyuhyun’s voice was so soft that Ryeowook felt the fragile walls inside him cracking, almost breaking at the gentle coaxing.

“What happened to you then?”

Their gazes met and Kyuhyun’s eyes were searching in Ryeowook’s, calculating, and in the end, he let go. Ryeowook’s heart shattered from its suspense, but he barely got time to mourn the broken pieces while Kyuhyun sat back against wall before he spread his arms, allowing Ryeowook to seek shelter once again. Kyuhyun’s hand absentmindedly caressed Ryeowook’s arm while he spoke. “I still remember you and I going to the festival and finding that knife cart where you said you wanted to look at the next stall. I remember checking on you again to make sure that you’re fine on your own and then—nothing. A spark of panic as I suddenly sensed something in my mind, then it’s like a black curtain was dropped on me. No, not a black curtain, it’s more like… more like being trapped in a room. But one that shifts shapes.

“Imagine it like this: when her manipulation is the strongest, at least with the amount of manipulation she's been using this time, then I’m completely locked away from what’s going on. But as it fades, the walls become more transparent, like paper walls, and windows appear. I can watch, I can hear what’s happening, and sometimes I can reach through the window. The window can become bigger, the paper walls more fragile, until I can not only reach through, but until I can kind of press myself through.

“She was very adamant about keeping her manipulation on high alert, but I think she kind of… either estimated the time until we’d meet again wrongly, or maybe she overestimated how much influence she still had on me. I do remember her hatred towards you. I remember your name coming up every so often, I remember… the other things she made me do, the things she requested of me as a bodyguard, as a lover… nothing of which I was able to refuse her. And then it was time to go to court and all I could do was to hope that she would forget that it was about time for her to tamper with my mind.”

“How often did she do that?” Ryeowook asked quietly, turning a little to see Kyuhyun’s eyebrows furrow in a frown.

“I think about every other day?”

“So often? But didn’t you say that she is incredibly strong?”

“She is. But the manipulation that she used on me was also very complex: she couldn’t just implement a change of thought in my mind, she had to remaster almost everything for me to obey, to stay by her side and defend her even if my life should depend on it, and… follow every other fantasy she had with me.”

“She… forced herself on you?”

“Yes. But also no. I don’t know. In those moments, my body and the part of me that was conscious wanted it, wanted her.”

“The part of you that was conscious?”

Kyuhyun nodded and his eyes were searching in the distance as if the words he needed were written out somewhere. “It’s like… Not all of me was locked away. A big part of my consciousness was locked away, yes, but… she kind of restored who I was around the time when she turned me? She restored the way I thought then while also leaving my entire knowledge and ability regarding my power intact. Does that make sense?”

Ryeowook nodded slowly. “I think I get it.”

“So, the me you met at court was the result of her manipulation, but it was also me, or a past me.”

“Did she hurt you?”

“Not physically, no.”

“Then what about your wound?”

“Let me get to that, okay?” Ryeowook nodded sheepishly and took Kyuhyun’s still hand, intertwining their fingers while Kyuhyun continued talking, “So, at court, I was there, kind of. It was like looking through a tiny window in a mostly wooden house, but I was there. I saw you, I heard you, and I was almost going insane with the knowledge that there was nothing I could do. By that point, the active part of my consciousness must have noticed that I kept on thinking about you in a very positive way, so both parts of me were alert about you and despite how much she hated you, not a single part of me shared those sentiments. I used that opportunity to try and push that overprotectiveness that she had installed over herself to you instead, tried my best to influence the conscious and active part of me that you had to be protected, that you needed it a lot more than she did.”

“Wait, is that why my brother’s sword just randomly turned hot? That was you?” At the sudden memory of Jihoon having dropped his sword seemingly without reason, Ryeowook turned to face Kyuhyun once more, astonished when he saw the other’s smile and nod, even looking a tiny bit proud.

“Yes, that was me. He was about to attack you and Hangeng, and of course I couldn’t let that happen. But from afar and while staying undercover, all I could do was to infuse heat into your brother’s sword. By the way: I noticed that you and she stood really close to the fire, how could you bear that? You saw what happened to your historian when he did a wrong move, so how could you be so close to the fire? And what happened with that man? I noticed that you were upset because of him…”

“About the fire… I don’t really know, but it didn’t feel hot. It actually felt comfortably warm.”

Kyuhyun frowned in confusion. “It… really shouldn’t have. You were standing so close to it, it should have felt unbearable.”

“It really wasn’t, though. It’s… it’s almost like you explained your power to me. When you said that your fire feels nice and comfortable to you, it felt that way. Is it maybe possible that your fire reacted to her and me as being the ones you wanted to protect? No, that can’t be, she did get hurt by it eventually…”

Kyuhyun shook his head, still obviously confused. “That’s never happened before, it should be impossible. It’s still fire, only I should be able to feel it in a comfortable way because I’m the one controlling it…” But while he said that, Kyuhyun’s voice wavered, the frown never disappearing from his face, yet he didn’t seem to be able to come up with a better explanation either. “Anyway, then my real fight began because I had to continuously convince the conscious part of me not to murder Hangeng and Heechul. It didn’t take all too much to convince that conscious part of me that you were fine and needed to be protected—after all, that part was still me and I think that part fell for you as quickly as I did back when we first met. But because of that, Hangeng and Heechul were immediately labelled a threat: they were close to you, you trusted them, but the conscious part of me didn’t know them, so it had the same thought-pattern that I also had at first—that they might harm you, that they might influence you, that they might push you away from me…”

“No wonder they always kept some distance… If they had to expect you turning against them if I was too close to them…”

Kyuhyun nodded. “It was indeed the better decision of them to always keep some distance and it took a lot of work from my side to even just leave you in their care to feed. Choosing a ship to get away was indeed pretty smart because there was no way I would have been able to use my power without endangering you. But what about you?”

Ryeowook looked away, suddenly feeling childish for his inability to cope with everything that had happened when Kyuhyun had gone through even worse. “It’s not that bad,” he mumbled and turned away, but Kyuhyun was quick to stop him with one hand against the side of Ryeowook's face, gently turning his head until their eyes met again.

“It is. It affects you deeply, so it is that bad.” His frown deepened. “Didn’t she say something about me having protected you from our innate nature? Or something like that?”

Ryeowook nodded, squirming uncomfortably. How could the things he had experienced possible live up to what Kyuhyun had just told him? If Kyuhyun could be with him like that, talking so openly about the horrors that his sire had put him through, Ryeowook really should be able to deal much better with his own experiences! “It’s nothing, really. Maybe I’ll just need some time.”

“Aren’t you breaking your promise right now? Isn’t that rather unprincely of you?”

“I defected, remember? I’m not a prince anymore, so prince rules don’t apply to me anymore.”

“You said that you stick to those values even without your prince status—values like honesty and keeping your word. So tell me.”

“But it’s really not as bad as—“

“Ryeowook!” The exasperation in Kyuhyun’s voice effectively made Ryeowook close his mouth. “You can’t weigh one pain against another. You can’t say that my pain is greater than yours either. You have gone through something. I have gone through something else. We both made different experiences and have different ways to deal with those experiences—and experiences can affect us differently. So what if by your measurement your pain adds up to less than mine? What I have gone through is something that I’ve coped with once and it took me decades to deal with it properly. You know that I’m still working on healing from what she did to me. But now you have also been deeply hurt. And me having been hurt doesn’t invalidate you having been hurt. And me being able to keep my composure despite what happened doesn’t invalidate you not being able to keep your composure. Let me repeat that: my pain and how I deal with it does not invalidate your pain or how you deal with it.

“But currently, I am battling familiar demons—you don’t look like your demons are very familiar. So talk to me. Maybe talking helps. I have found out that talking and knowing that I will not be judged helps me a lot.”

Ryeowook was finally allowed to look away and he quickly lowered his gaze uncomfortably because it was so obvious that Kyuhyun wouldn’t let him off the hook. But still, how could their pain be compared in the slightest?

“Tell me, Ryeowook. What happened? Start at the festival for me, will you? I want to know what happened to you and I would love to figure this out together with you, to work on everything, to do my best to help you heal.” Kyuhyun’s voice was so tender that Ryeowook’s resolve began to melt, each word somehow just the right one that Ryeowook had needed to hear.

“What about you?”

“Am I not talking to you? I’ve spent decades in denial, closing myself off from the pain and the memories, ignoring the nightmares—and then you came around and unbeknownst pressed all the right buttons that gave me the strength to start working through what happened. Even now, knowing that you are with me, that you are at least physically safe, and knowing that I can talk to you and you won’t judge me is incredibly healing for me. I would love to help you as well. I can assure you that suppressing everything for decades is not exactly how you heal.”

Their eyes met again and Kyuhyun half-smiled at Ryeowook in a somewhat comforting, somewhat heartbreaking way and still without wanting to let them, the words began to spill out of Ryeowook, slowly at first, still afraid of how Kyuhyun might react, but as Kyuhyun merely listened with an intense gaze, Ryeowook found the words flowing faster, found himself losing structure because everything had to be told at once and the words tumbled, mixed up, broke a dam inside him, but even when he cried, he kept on talking, unable to stop. He found himself speaking of the historian, then of court, the poor servant, and the awkward ones as he got ready. The servants keeping watch also had to be mentioned, just like the endless lectures from the king that only found an end when Kyuhyun and his sire entered. But had he already mentioned having been bound to the bed in the cabin and having been denied food and being forcefully fed from?

When everything lay out in the open and Ryeowook did stop speaking, he felt void of all words. A murderous glint had sparked in Kyuhyun’s eyes when Ryeowook told him of all the things that the historian had done to him and had indirectly made him do and Kyuhyun’s hold on him had tightened a little. Even when the murderous glare had disappeared, Kyuhyun’s jaw was still set tight. “I was too kind to that bastard.”

“You… you burned him.”

“Yes. And under other circumstances, I would have taken my time with him.”

Ryeowook felt something stir inside him, but he wasn’t sure whether it was gratefulness or concern, so he ignored it alltogether and gently rested one hand against Kyuhyun’s chest. “It’s okay. He’s not alive anymore, he won’t be able to harm me anymore. And she won’t be able to hurt you anymore. Oh!” That last syllable finally seemed to be able to distract Kyuhyun. “You still didn’t tell me how you got hurt.”

“It was a last act of distress by her,” Kyuhyun replied casually, but his thoughts were obviously still on the historian and what he had done to Ryeowook, “if she couldn’t live with me, she wanted me to die with her and commanded me to stab myself with your brother’s sword. I don’t think she meant the stomach, but—“

“Wait, she did that? You did that? She commanded you to stab yourself with my brother’s sword?” What a despicable woman! Ryeowook wasn’t quite as surprised as he was angry and for a change, it was him who wasn’t satisfied with the end that someone had found. He hadn’t even done anything to get back at her for all the harm she had caused!

“Hey, remember? She’s dead, she won’t be able to harm me anymore,” Kyuhyun echoed Ryeowook’s own words, but his smile didn’t reach his eyes.

Ryeowook huffed in dissatisfaction about the argument, but at the same time, he decided that if he couldn’t have been a bigger bother to that woman while she had still been alive, he’d make sure that her soul would never rest in peace by treasuring Kyuhyun even more than he already did!

“And I’m very glad about that! It’s enough that their ghosts will haunt us a while longer,” he grumbled.

“That’s okay. We can face them. And we’re not alone; we can help each other cope and heal.” Kyuhyun placed a peck on Ryeowook’s lips, but it was a weak consolation.

Despite Kyuhyun’s reassuring words, Ryeowook felt hopeless in the face of everything they had gone through. The times of easy comfortableness seemed to be officially over, shattered by the court’s former historian and Kyuhyun’s sire. How long would it take them to return to those careless times, until what happened would be no more than a bad memory, a nightmare that they could easily wake up from? Would such a time even truly come?

“Tell me again about how you overcame her the first time.” Ryeowook shifted a little and snuggled more into Kyuhyun until he was comfortable, needing a good story with a definite happy ending after everything else that they had talked about that evening.

“There was this super cute and even more innocent prince, you know?” Kyuhyun started, laughing softly when Ryeowook lightly hit the first place he could reach on Kyuhyun. “Do you want me to go to the very beginning? The stories will be very dark and not well-suited for goodnight-stories, though.”

“That’s okay.” Ryeowook doubted that he’d get any sleep in the first place, and even if he did sleep, their recent experiences would most likely haunt him in his dreams anyway.

He felt Kyuhyun nod and after a few seconds, Kyuhyun spoke up in a low voice, going back to the time when he had first run away from his sire, taking Ryeowook along on a journey through time.

☆ ☆ ☆

“And here I thought Hannie and I got very little sleep,” Heechul teased Ryeowook and Kyuhyun the instant he lay his eyes on the other two. Ryeowook yawned in response, making Heechul laugh softly.

Hangeng and Heechul had just returned to their old home where Ryeowook and Kyuhyun had already gotten comfortable in the living room area after they had given up on sleep and had finished packing. Ryeowook had also used that time to change into a clean outfit, the light blue so much more familiar and comfortable than his royal robes, yet for the sake of it, he had still packed his royal robe as well while the soiled undershirt had found a final end in the fire pit through Kyuhyun’s fire.

“So you managed to settle everything in town?” Kyuhyun asked back casually, his demeaner not showing a single trace of the sleepless night or the manipulation that he was still battling.

Hangeng nodded. “Yes, I let them know that Heechul and I will be leaving today.”

“Where will you go?”

“That depends a little. Do you two want to travel together with us for another while? Or would you like to go separate ways?”

“I don’t mind. What do you think, Ryeowook?”

Ryeowook blinked upon being talked to, first looking at Kyuhyun who looked so relaxed that Ryeowook momentarily wondered if he was dreaming, then at Heechul and Hangeng, and finally back at Kyuhyun who smiled at him, amusement making his eyes twinkle. After the past night, Ryeowook knew that the other’s relaxation was in part a façade, but it looked so real that Ryeowook didn’t know how to react. Also, since when was he the one to make such major decisions?

“Um… Travel together?”

“Then where are we going?” Heechul asked on and this time, they all looked back and forth at each other, none of them seeming to have an answer.

“Since we should get far away, I guess… How about the silk road? I’ve heard quite a lot about it and I think it should be easy to find shelter if we travel along the silk road,” Kyuhyun suggested eventually.

“It’s true. There are lots of inns that could room us,” Hangeng agreed, making Ryeowook frown.

“But won’t they be too loud for us and too overwhelming for you two? And wouldn’t the silk road be too obvious?”

“We don’t have to stay in an inn every night. However, they will provide proper shelter for us during winter and shouldn’t be too crowded during this season—we can still stray from the main road if we find that we can’t bear it any longer or when the weather gets good enough to give us the chance to find temporary shelter anywhere,” Kyuhyun explained and Ryeowook nodded lightly in understanding.

“The silk road might be an obvious choice, but for them to catch us there, they would have had to leave for the silk road right after we left court. And I personally wouldn’t expect even a runaway to travel in the Northern part of China during winter—would you?” Heechul added and Ryeowook couldn’t help but agree; the more obvious choice would indeed be to go further South.

They did some more last-minute-packing, then they left. Outside, Ryeowook quickly came to regret his choice of wardrobe because his robe and the undershirt were of light summery material and even the thicker coat that Kyuhyun lent him didn’t do enough to fully dispel the cold. But this would have to remain a problem for the next bigger city that they’d end up in.

The wind picked up at one point during the night and they decided to look for a proper shelter, not having come as far as any of them would have liked, but also not wanting to get completely soaked. Ryeowook first heard the splatter of rain on the fall leaves and they all instinctively hurried a little more, but when the rain actually hit Ryeowook with big drops, he came to a stand and slowly tilted his head up.

The world around him seemed to disappear at the sensation of the rain hitting his face, his sleeves, his hands… Each cold drop brought comfort, slowly filling the void that his words had left the night before.

“Ryeowook-ah,” a voice gently called out to him and Ryeowook lowered his head again to find Heechul in front of him, hand outstretched. “Give me your bag. Hangeng and I will continue looking for shelter, you two can come whenever you’re ready.”

Ryeowook mechanically did what he had been told before he raised his face towards the rain again, closing his eyes. Each drop seemed to take a bit of the pain and fear that he had gone through, washing them away. Something inside Ryeowook seemed to dissolve, lifting a weight off his chest and he took a deep breath, one that felt fresh and big and alive and like he could breathe properly for the first time.

He opened his eyes and turned around, and even though there was only the forest around them, Ryeowook could feel his past, could feel the court, could feel his title, could feel the past journey to Joseon and back. It would all stay behind.

When Ryeowook turned around once more, he noticed that Kyuhyun was watching him. A smile spread on his lips and he closed the distance between them, naturally taking the other’s hand that was warm like always. “Let’s go.”

Where would they go? Where would they end up? Would all four of them stay together? Would the two of them stay together?

It didn’t matter. Because in that very moment, Ryeowook knew that he was right where he needed to be, with the people he needed to be with.

He glanced up at Kyuhyun and knew with all his heart that he had made the right decision.