of course, you said yes

He’s the perfect match for you

 

“Congratulations Hyun”

 

“I-I think I made the wrong choice seungwan-ah, I don’t think I’m ready yet and I-I just-

 

“Maybe you should talk to him instead of telling me this Hyun”

 

” I don’t want to hurt him, we’ve been together for a long time. I don’t want him to get the wrong idea. H-his parents is very supportive about it, I don’t want to disappoint them an-

 

“If he really loves you, he will understand whatever your decision is. Marriage isn’t easy you know, it’s not a spur of a moment it has to be planned thoroughly. Hyun, you have to talk to him about it if your still not sure”

 

it hurts

 

“Did you get married without inviting me? I feel like I’m not talking to seungwan”

 

“No silly, but you have to talk to him”

 

”I’ll think about it”

 

please do

 

 

--

 

Marriage

 

I couldn’t stop thinking about it

Joohyun never brought up the issue again

I guess she made up her mind 

 

Everyone is excited

you guys been planning it for 2 months

just a few more weeks then the date is set

and I’m not happy about it

 

I’m back to square one again

Joohyun the things you do to me

 

I feel bad for Sana

She doesn’t deserve me

I do Love her

 

But Joohyun…

 

 I couldn’t stop thinking about you

I’m being unfair to Sana

Sleeping beside her while thinking of you Hyun

this is wrong

 

I have to do something

 

 

 

“seungwan what are you doing here?”

 

No more hiding

I just wanted to see something,

before you go

 

“I miss you”

 

just like magnets

you’re hugging me

 

“do you want to come in? or-

 

He’s there

I want us to be alone

 

“No, come with me”

 

 

 

 

Driving

with no direction in mind

with you by my side

this is so sad

 

“If you want to stare at me all night I’m not stopping you, but you’re driving so..

 

you intertwined our hands

Oh, dear Lord

 

“Eyes on the road”

 

I looked at you

you could outshine the stars tonight

You’re so pretty and it hurts, so bad

 

“where are we going anyway?”

 

“The park beside our Uni”

 

“why?”

 

“remember when you wanted to clear your mind and we both stayed there until the sun is up?”

 

“yeah, our school days was stressful you know”

 

“I wanted to clear my mind tonight, with you”

 

 

Silence filled the car

we don’t need words

just you and me, tonight

 

 

Nothing changed

still the same park

we don’t belong here anymore

 

“Seungwan, what’s bothering you?”

 

you

 

“I just feel like hanging out with you tonight”

 

“I know you, you won’t come to me at this hour if it’s not bothering you. You got girlfriend problems?”

 

no. just YOU

 

“Joohyun, can you be honest with me?”

 

“depends”

 

“You remember the day I confessed to you?”

 

pause

 

“Y-yeah how can I forget”

 

“Nothing changed hyun”

 

“But you have Sana now, does she know? I-I mean that you’re here? with me??”

 

seeing you like this makes me wonder

 

“Joohyun, do you love me?”

 

“at some point in our lives, did you feel the same way?”

 

 

“No”

 

still the same answer

 

“I see”

 

“I’m sorry seungwan-ah”

 

“Don’t be”

 

Just like that

I got my answers

for the second time

 

“I’m happy for you”

 

“are you?”

 

“Of course, he makes you happy”

 

“I’m sorry seungwan I-I didn’t-

 

“When is the wedding?”

 

“this August, you’ll come right?”

 

no

 

“I’ll be there”

 

silence

 

We spent the next hours talking random stuff

random events in our lives

it’s like saying good bye

 

 

then the sun came up

 

 

we both know

we got to go home

 

home

 

I don't want you to go

--

 

I kept myself busy

After that night at the park

 

I told Sana

Everything

 

I don’t deserve her

 

I don’t want her to experience what I felt

I’m going to give her all of me

She deserves it

 

“I don’t deserve you”

 

“But you love me right?”

 

“Yes”

 

“What you feel about her won’t go away, She’s special to you. But that doesn’t mean I’ll leave you, I’m not going anywhere. I’ll wait for you”

 

and that I cried

I feel so pathetic and stupid

you love me that much

 

You went back to Tokyo

 

--

 

Months passed

 

Sana and I still talk

We’re still together

just figuring things out

 

Joohyun and I haven’t talked for a while

 still the same nothing changed

She’s getting married tomorrow

 

I’m happy for her

this time it’s real

 

 

 “yes Seul I just got home, what do you mean Joy kissed you? aren’t you guys a thing??-Hold on someone’s at my door”

 

its Joohyun

The Universe seems to love messing with me huh

 

“I call you back and make sure Joy gets home safe! you still owe me an explanation to that kiss thing okay? bye”  

 

“Hey Joohyun wha-

 

you didn’t even let me finish

 

you’re kissing me

 

Joohyun’s kissing me

 

this is so wrong

I had to stop

 

“H-Hyun this is... w-we should stop”

 

“Shut up!”

 

that shut me up

 

She pushed me to the couch then straddles me like I would run

 

“You..why did you have to come back..”

 

“Joohyun”

 

“No shut up! why did you have to come back here…with her”

 

“Hyun, you’re drunk”

 

“You never told me you like her that much, I thought you we’re just bored. But bringing her home? why?”

 

“Joohyun, listen to me”

 

“I was ready seungwan..I-I had it all planned out”

 

what

 

“While you were away It made me think of the things we been through together and that I’m such a fool for hurting you so much, I was so selfish. Remember the day you confessed to me, I wanted to say something b-but it would be so unfair for Suho”

 

All this time..

 

”I don’t want to hurt him, he was so nice to me and that I keep on telling myself that He’s a perfect match for me and what I feel for you is just a phase”

 

A phase

 

“But I was wrong, I keep denying it until one day you told me you met someone. I was jealous you know? I know, I'm stupid”

 

“That night at the park, I wanted to tell you how I feel. But I don’t want to hurt Sana, after knowing her she’s a good one a keeper too. You know I’m not like that..right? stealing something that isn’t yours to begin with”

 

“I was scared before..that it would ruined us and how people would think about us specially my parents. But now, I’m ready Seungwan-ah..Please come back to me, let’s run away. This time I promise I won’t think of anybody, Just us”

 

“Joohyun, do you love me?”

 

It’s just a phase

 

“I-..Suho..but I-”

 

of course

 

“Joohyun, I love my Girlfriend”

 

“but you said you love me...”

 

“I did and still do. Joohyun, you’re special to me but what I feel about you doesn’t concern me anymore. When Sana and I met I wasn’t sure if it would work because I was so in love with you and I was stuck in the space of ‘maybe one day you’ll feel the same way too’ I know leaving you isn’t a good option, because you’re my friend and I’m not like that.”

 

stop crying Joohyun, it’s okay

 

“That night at the park, I got my answer. For the second time. I knew that night that we weren’t really for each other, You’re happy with him and I’m happy with her. We were too late for Us but its never too late to start a new one with them”  

 

“I understand. you’re right, I’m sorry for the pain I caused you over the years”

 

silence

 

No one dared to speak

you are staring at me like I would disappear any moment

 

I’m scared too

 

That I would throw anything away just for you

but I can’t, not anymore

 

I don’t want you to see me crying

I had to hug you

 

this may be the last time we will see each other

funny, how I would always say that then the next moment we’re back together

but this time I know its real

 

”you’re getting married tomorrow”

 

“and it’s not you”

 

“I’m so sorry Joohyun, Maybe I should’ve told you my name back then”

 

you laughed

 

“Seungwan, I’m Sorry for all the things I’ve done but I’m not sorry for kissing you earlier”

 

 

 

”Seungwan”

 

“Joohyun”

 

 

 

“I was just thinking, if the universe was favor to us would you still love me?”

 

“If the universe allows us, then I would take my shot with you”

 

“but for now..Goodbye?”

 

“We don’t say good bye to each other. I'll be waiting for you at the park, okay?”

 

you smiled

and that made me smiled too

next time Joohyun, I promise

 

 

“then, I’ll be there”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

--

 

a/n

 

Thoughts? 

 

Also, Last two chapters :D