“Hi! Can I take a seat here? This class is certainly crowded today, so...”

 

 I don’t want to be rude and say no

 

“gosh where are my manners”

 

for some reason you are quite loud for an 8am class

 

“I’m Joohyun and you are?”

 

I’d rather prefer you not knowing my name

 

“seungwan”

 

--

 

” hey seungwan what’s your deal with Joohyun? you guys been hanging out lately”

 

lately? we never hang out we’re just seatmates on chemistry class

 

“can you introduce me to joohyun? I can help you with your chemistry!”

 

since when do I need help in chemisty?

 

“stay away from joohyun you nerd”

 

get lost

 

“there’s nothing going on with me and Joohyun. Now get out of my way,I have a class to attend to”

 

I’m just a random girl in her chemistry class  

and she’s just bored that’s why

 

--

 

“seungwan-ah”

 

just seungwan

 

“seungwan-ah”

 

I shouldn’t have told her my name

 

“seungwan-ah”

 

annoying

 

“what do you want?”

 

“Nothing I’m just bored”

 

then go bother someone else

 

”Joohyun”

 

“Fine, there’s a new store nearby and I would love to if you accompany me there”

 

oh

 

if my ears could blink

 

“Don’t you have other friends to bother? Other than me?”

 

why is she looking at me like that? she has that stupid smile again

 

“so, we’re in the friend terms now huh?”

 

NO. it slipped out of my stupid mouth.

 

“Don’t worry, I like that”

 

she like the thought of me being her friend

not some weird kid who needs attention

or a random girl in her chemistry class

 

A friend

 

I am Joohyun’s friend.

 

 --

 

If I’m Joohyun’s friend

then I’m a terrible friend

 

 “are you mad at me? you’ve been avoiding me for weeks”

 

I don’t know

 

“Am I bothering you?”

 

YES

 

“I’m sorry, seungwan-ah”

 

don’t say anything stupid

 

“I shoul- “

 

“Joohyun, stay”

 

stupid seungwan

 

“Care to tell me why you’ve been ignoring me for weeks? Did I do something wrong?”

 

“people might think I’m using you for attention when clearly, I don’t”

 

“who said that to you? you’re a good friend seungwan, don’t mind them”

 

I never wanted to start something with you in the first place joohyun

 

“I know its weird that I’m suddenly in your life. I just want to get to know you better”

 

it is weird that you know exactly what’s on my mind

 

“I really just wanted to be your friend which I wish I did sooner”

 

she still wanted me to be her friend

she’s not playing games

 

“Sorry for avoiding you Joohyun, Its just new to me.  I never had a friend”

 

because they all think of me as a nerd

I don’t blame them though since I’m fine without a friend

I survive High School without one so why do I need one now?

 

“No need to be sorry seungwan, I just wanted you to know that I’m here”

 

wouldn’t hurt to try right?

 

 

--

 

"seungwan-ah, Can I have your number? "

 

 "why?"

 

 don't you get tired of me?

 

"I just realized the other day that I don’t have it when I was about to call you"

 

I hate girl talks so please if you want my number just to chat, then no

 

 "about what?"

 

"well, I kind of needed a ride to school but if you don't want to its o-

 

 Am I the only one you know who owns a car?

 

"give me your phone"

 

If it’s an emergency, don't hesitate to call me.

 

"don’t call if it’s not an emergency. I'll block you"

 

close enough

 

--

 

Didn't see you at class today

 

"you're seungwan right? you know joohyun-unnie?"

 

 If this is one of those people who needs answer to why their beloved ‘campus Girl’ is missing I swe-

 

"whatever you're thinking that's not what you think it is, I'm here to say that unnie won't come to school for 3-days"

 

"and why is that?"

 

"because she’s sick and it would be nice if you could give this letter to your teacher on chemistry since you're the only one she knows from that class"

 

 

 oh

 

 

maybe asking your friend the address of your house is a bad idea

standing at your doorstep with food and medicine in hand

I’m your friend and there shouldn’t be reason for me to be this nervous

 

 "what are you doing here?"

 

your friend told me you're sick

now say it to her

 

"there’s a project on chemistry, will you be my partner?"

 

stupid

 

"I wanted to say yes but I’m sick seungwan, didn’t you receive the letter?”

 

come on seungwan you can do better

 

 "I also brought medicine and food"

 

don't smile like that joohyun

 

 

--

 

“Seungwan-ah!”

 

how I wish I could just disappear right now

 

“seungwan-ah~”

 

that annoying feeling being dist-

 

“yah! stop ignoring me and get your up we’re going to be late”

 

nevermind

 

you are so annoying do you know that?

I can’t even say no to you,

maybe because I just don’t want to see you sad

 

--

I've been very busy

 

now that hell week is over, I could sleep all night long

 

I deserve this anyway what I don't deserve is

 

16 missed calls

 

incoming call

 

"whoever this is please stop calling it's late and I'm trying to catch some sleep here so if you-

 

"seungwan-ah"

 

 joohyun,
 

 its joohyun!!

 

 this better be an emergency

 

"Joohyun, what's up?"

 

"I'm sorry I forgot what I'm about to say you I shoul-

 

oh, not so fast

 

 "Joohyun"

 

 pause

 

 "I miss you"

 

call ended

 

--

 

"heeeeey, seungwan-ah"

 

never let joohyun get drunk like this again

 

 "seungwan-ah, Am I pretty?"

 

maybe. if you're less annoying

 

 "alright that's enough joohyun-ah "

 

oh boy

I just want to sleep

 

 "Did you just say joohyun-ah?"

 

no, I take it back

 

 "say it again"

 

 no

 

 "joohyun-ah"

 

 "you're cute seungwan-ah, do you know that?"

 

 "enough of your games you’re drunk"

 

"when will you listen to me?"

 

"Joohyun"

 

 Joohyun please

 

"seungwan, what Am I to you?"

 

you’ve been asking me that

 

"Joohyun, you're drunk"

 

or maybe I just don't know how to respond to that

 

"seungwan-ah..answer me"

 

I'm sorry 

 

"you're annoying"

 

 

Drunk joohyun is scary

she says things that she doesn’t really mean to say

Drunk Joohyun has no filter in mind

but drunk joohyun is cute

 

 

“you know we’re graduating soon seungwan-ah”

 

“yeah we only have 2 months left, now drink this water you’ll thank me tomorrow”

 

will we still see each other?

because I know both of us will be busy

 

“what are your plans after graduation? Did you already look for apartment?”

 

“Graduation, Apartment and Job hunting. I had it all planned out, no need to worry joohyun”

 

“how about you live with me?”

 

excuse me what?

 

“I mean, my Apartment right now is big for the both of us. You can pay rent or something don’t worry”

 

living with you?

is this right?

 

“sure, lets talk about this tomorrow when you’re in the right state”

 

”seungwan you never answered my question, what am I to you?”

 

“you’re my friend, Joohyun”

 

I can’t read your eyes please don’t look at me like that

 

“seungwan”

 

“yes?”

 

“I’m so happy I met you”

 

“Me too”

 

 

 

 

after the talk we had that night

you never brought it up again

and you became distant to me

or you're just busy and I'm overreacting

 

we graduated joohyun, congratulations

we started as seatmates to friends and now

roommates

 

I don’t know whether I should be happy about it

or feel sorry for myself

 

I like you Joohyun

 

I don’t know when I started to feel this 

I never had the courage to say this to you

because I’m afraid I might ruin our friendship

I don’t want to stain something that is perfect

 

we’ve been friends for 4 years

I’m so happy I met you

even though I never talk as much as you do

you’ve been good to me

 

I don’t want to hurt you

its better if you don’t know what I feel

sometimes I feel like you like me too

I wish I could read your mind

 

"yah Seungwan-ah! we're going to be late stop daydreaming"

 

 

But we’re just friends

I know you don’t look at me that way