As If It’s Your Last ( Chapter 9)

‘Wayo’ = Why
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“Hyun, I think I’m falling for you.”

A flicker of genuineness in those words, kindle a response of kind-hearted grin and made the other to lean closer placing a kiss on Jisoo’s forehead. Her hand reached over, running her fingers through the beautiful woman’s dark hair. She tenderly chuckled and takes a breath.

“Lisa...” She hesitated and bat her lashes; in the clamouring issue, she returned the woman’s honesty. “Do you still have feelings for her?”

“Hmm...” Jisoo hummed moving her shoulders up and down in a cryptic complication of both a yes and a no, and then gripped even more tightly onto the leader’s shirt scared Soohyun might disappear into thin air.

“Then how will this work?” Soohyun thinly said but the latter swiftly pulled her so close that their noses touched.

“I’m not going to beat around the bushes and wait for my turn.” The group’s visual calm as her eyes quivering, seeking out to wave the doubt in the woman’s mind. “No Soohyun. With you, no. Not this time I won’t.”

“Again, ‘I don’t know’ is not a good—” The leader reasoned out but Jisoo let go of the shirt and her arms laced around the other girl’s neck.

“Shhh...” Jisoo’s coy smile matched the seething fire in her eyes and there’s nothing the leader could do but accept the second kiss they shared. It was longer than the first one but short enough to be under the spell of her beauty. “Hyun, please don’t go.” She added on, sliding the palm of her hand over the left side of Soohyun’s chest and stare at it as if she’s got an X-ray vision that sees her heart. “This heart will beat for me. I’ll prove it you.”

“Alright. Okay” Soohyun reached for her own ear, caressing the lobes as if calming her nerves.

Jisoo catches this, making her giggle. She reached over and massaged it softly. “Let’s be real you and me. Besides, whatever she’s doing is not hard anyway?” Immediately she let goes and stood up. “Irony...” Her body sways and singing from what she could remember from watching the performance video. It wasn’t the best example, but it is enough to magically bring about laughter in the room. “See, I’m better.”

“Did you guys order?” A silky voice made them turn heads over the direction where it came from. Another girl stands at the door and signalled a delivery man to show himself.

“Oh yes.” Soohyun got on her feet, take a hold of her purse and walked towards the man.

Rosé’s POV

“Sorry about that.” Soohyun bowed to the man while I wrinkled my nose and pushing up my glasses. She opened her purse, but I instantly reached inside my bag.

“I got this” I counted the money she owed and paid the man, not caring if she gets angry at me. I’ve been thinking of our last conversation that had an emotional impact on the usual way I sing. Despite the fact, she indirectly showed me her intentions, I’m ought to clarify that I’m not disgusted by her orientation unlike how she understood it to be. It is so visible that she’s steering clear of me which hard to admit - hurts. Consequently, she lost her song because of my blabber mouth. When she gathered us to clear our heads, she did apologize for being absent-minded and promised to be focus in doing anything that’s best for the group. We all had off days, but our members appealed to her not to lock us out and be open when there’s a problem. Since Soohyun likes to keep it to herself, she would walk away and not talk about it. Lisa begged her not to do this.

Better yet, I still went to my date with Jungkook and returned to join them.

“Rosé” He spoke in a low tone, that I’m met with his overpowering charm. Sitting at the passenger seat, I stared into those eyes and for a moment you can sense him breath and slowly leaning towards me. My lips slightly parted, static in my position. He tilts his head and gaze upon me then I noticed where he’s actually looking – my lips. I’ve imagined all the possible ways I’ll have my first kiss and to have Jungkook be mine should be great as he inched further. I got a whiff of his minty fresh breath.

“Did he come prepared for a kiss?” The odd thought that came to mine when he was a centimetre away. I unknowingly moved my head slightly to my right and I felt his cheek touched my face. He missed my lips. “I’m sorry. I..uh..I’m not sure why...

“.....it’s okay...” The strain in his voiced echoed and he moved back to the driver seat and looked straight ahead. “Shall we head home?”

“ummmm..” I thought of it and said, “Can we drop by a cake shop then drop me off at work?

“You sure? It’s late already.” He looked at me with concern.

I nodded my head. “Yes. The other members are still be there practising. Sorry.”

“I see.” He sighed and grinned. “Anything for you Rosè”

Originally, I planned to go home and rest but I’m still not confident with the new music arrangement and I wanted to support my members. I bought Soohyun’s favourite cake as a peace offering and also to cheer her up but I’m the one who got flabbergasted by those two kissing each other. The sudden coldness took over and a heavy feeling in my stomach instigated me to grab a hold of the door frame to support my weight. Thoughts of the possible implications that will follow worries me. Their conversation after that passionate kiss was inaudible to understand, Jisoo went on her feet started to dance and sing. Soohyun turned crimson but she’s comfortable enough to show that smirk on her face. Thankfully, the delivery man came after all that.

“Here...ah..” Jisoo picked a few strands of noodles by chopsticks and brought it close to our leader’s lips. Soohyun obviously aware of my presence, she looked at her but ate it since our oldest member pouts. Jisoo offered her bowl of jjajangmyeon to me and got told she’ll share with Soohyun instead. I’m trying my best to ignore it and respect their space.

“But I thought she likes me.” A thought that sneaked in my head and disappeared promptly when I cussed in contradiction. Besides, I’m thinking of Jennie too. “How will she react if she finds out that Soohyun is kissing another woman?”

After having a meal, Jisoo proceed on going through the songs one more time while I hesitantly called Soohyun, who cleans up after the woman she shared a kiss with.

“Hyun, I uh...” I called her after she cleared out our rubbish and the way her hair gracefully sways as she spun around, revealing natural beauty. No cosmetic and just a true goddess. A big lump threatened to keep me mum, but I forced myself to say something this time. “I’m quite confused about my part on the new music arrangement.”

“Which part?” She wiped her hands with a wet wipe and come to my aid when I handed her my copy of the songs.

“Most of it.” I replied and followed her at the end of the room. Soohyun sat at the edge of the bench with her back straight, arms relaxed and her fingers glide over the keys as if dancing along with the music. She asked me sing and pointed out where I went wrong.

“Take a breather on this part, then belt the note here.” She circled the portion I have to sing as a main vocal. “One more time but maybe try it with Jisoo doing the harmony now.”

We ended up practising the vocals while she did Jennie’s part. It sounded great but I pray things back at the dorm will be as harmonious as this song if ever there’s anything serious between these two. The truth I’m used with Jisoo being a crackhead but tonight I'm not too keen to laugh.

Heading home was the worse ride ever, Manager Song picked us up and as always, we sat together. Jisoo who is exhausted fallen asleep and rests her head on our leader's shoulder. I'm not sleepy but tired mentally and physically from all the thinking I'm doing.

"Why can’t I kiss Jungkook? Why does it annoy me to see this two together? Is she a playgirl or something?"

I stole a glance to my right and noticed Soohyun glued on her phone, pretty much watching the same clip she's been playing since we left the building. The produce 101 cover of Yanghwa Bridge seemed to be on repeat. Our manager probably noticed it too since he asked her what's the big deal.

"Just monitoring this artist called Kim Sejeong." Soohyun sounded so excited that I'm curious about the reason. "Going to a variety show with 5 other girls groups so I’m doing my research. And oh! Somi is going to be there."

"Who's the other 4?" I asked and got an answer which I found weird.

"Let's see. Chungha, G-idle's Soyeon, Itzy's Ryujin and Redvelvet's Wendy." She uttered.

"That's a weird mixture of artists” Our manager blurted out and I do agree since all of them have different feel and aura. In reality, the list screams girl power. "So, you like this girl, Kim Sejeong?" He followed up and I swear she nodded.

"I think she has a good vocal range." She replied. "Like Wendy."

Is she instigating that I don't? I sing well, right? I turned my head and stare at the window, letting the raindrops put me to ease. Out of nowhere, maybe a last song syndrome, I started to sing Yanghaw Bridge. Then I felt Jisoo stir between us and almost had her head fall from Soohyun's shoulder. But then, the leader held her close. She looked my way, and her eyes tells me I must stop singing. I softly grin but as soon as she diverts her attention to something else, I rolled my eyes and realised that she’s always been protective and extra caring when it comes to our Jisoo. It shouldn't bother me; I have a boyfriend and he is great. His name is Jungkook.


Five days later at SBS Kpop Concert

Jennie’s POV

Busy as a beaver, I’m buried in work going back and forth to meet my timetable till there’s no more time for leisure. Picturals, guesting, recording and rehearsals kept me on my toes that guarantees a reward in the end, and the fans love in return. Like me, the other members are slammed with their own endeavour that there’s less talk. Lisa and Soohyun are great examples since they’re barely home. Lisa was asked to be a judge in China’s Youth with You, showing her serious and charismatic side. Our leader in contrast remained in Korea but occupied with our upcoming concert, members solos and her non-Blackpink schedule with KBS Sister’s Slam Dunk.

Tell me about it, even now she’s busy with our group’s commitments then our bosses decided to send her to that show. I’m not jealous of her successes, more like bothered she’s going to be with other beautiful young women. I checked out the list and these girls have loveable personalities, Soohyun continues to monitor these girls and calls it research but Blackpink should be number 1. Selfish? Can you blame me?

BTS Namjoon is keeping her busy too. Every time I call her, she’s engaged on the phone and in a deep conversation about the collaboration. They decided to do a separate song with just the leaders, leaving Lisa to collaborate with J-hope and Suga. Jisoo, Rosé and I will be joining BTS vocal line in singing the Lonely song, the song I’ve been meaning to do with Soohyun. I’m so upset about it but there’s nothing we can do about it anymore. The management made the decision. But I’m going to produce a song and have Soohyun feature in it.

 Today though, I’m losing it. When I came back from Paris, there’s something different in the way Jisoo acts around our leader. How should I put this? She’s holding and touching Soohyun more than usual in a way that’s making me feel uncomfortable.

“I got this for you.” I said, handing a little gift bag to our leader and she looked at me. She blinked multiple times when she pulled out the necklace with an Eiffel Tower pendant hanging from it. “I’m looking for a gift for my mom when I found this, I thought of you.”

“But Jennie this is too—” She’s not one to take expensive gifts though she’s one to spoil us with her generosity.

“Um nope.” I said, showing disag

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