"Alright. Cut!" Soohyun's voice filled the studio once the music ceased to play causing the younger girl to stopped from singing. "That's a great take. We'll take a break and continue on stacking the harmonies tomorrow."
"Alright." Chaeyoung hoarsely replied that made Soohyun peek through the glass and noticed that the said girl is coughing a bit.
"Hey..uh...." Soohyun frowned knowing that they've been recording for hours. Not knowing what to do, she stood up and went inside the booth. "Are you alright?" She asked kinda feeling stupid for asking the obvious. But the latter could only smile at her and nod.
"Yeah." Chaeyoung managed to utter a word after swallowing the lump that's building in as their leader is looking at her with great concern. "It always happens when I've been singing for a long period. But I should be fine by tomorrow." She tried to simper a smile but she noticed that after sometime, Soohyun's been staring at her.
"Soohyun..." She resumed talking, attempting to capture her attention by going for Soohyun's shoulder and pulling her into a hug. "I'm fine. Thank you."
Chaeyoung's warmth immediately made Soohyun blinked and cleared . "Oh...I'm just worried.." She uttered but Chaeyoung engulfed her even more.
"Shhhh...thank you for trusting me with this. And I'll do my best." The Korean-Australian girl replied, thinking of how long she waited for this opportunity. Few drops of tears fell from her eyes and buried her face against the leader's shoulder.
With her arms laced around the latter, it seems like a friendly hug but to a certain person it is not.
I know I don't have any schedule today and normally I would just stay home and watch Netflix. But then, I am determined to talk to Soohyun about the incident last night. At first, I just want to hear her opinion about same relationships and have a clue on where I should stand. Then this morning, I overheard her telling Lisa she's into girls. If this is not fate, then I don't know. She's indeed have that bitter sweet aura about her. Did I say bittersweet? She can be the most unbothered person out there and carries one of the intimidating charisma in her which she might devour anyone who would block her way. Despite those factors, there's something sweet about Soohyun. Months of looking outside the bubble she created, I feel like she's unreachable because I don't know how to be as outgoing like Jisoo. There is no denial that they've become close. She smiles frequently now but most of the time it is with Jisoo. Our lead vocalist can be so 4D that it manages to divert Soohyun's attention followed by her beautiful laughter. Oh god, her laughter that's so nice to hear every now and then. Jisoo is the mother of our group. She has the purest of heart and a positive outlook on life that makes her loveable. On top of that, she owns a beauty that is so attractive without trying so hard. I mean the girl can eat and not gain weight. How? Don't ask me. I have my insecurities but I never entertain them nor compare myself against my members. Lately, it is hard not to because of Soohyun's treatment to Jisoo.
Few months ago, we were promoting in America with our 5 member group. There were a lot of people waiting for us at the airport and I am so thrilled to be outside of Korea since a lot of our fans are from overseas. I remembered it was a sunny day and we arrived around 8 am. I was walking beside Soohyun to get in the van so we can go straight to our hotel when a crowd of fans warmly welcomed us. We were instructed to say hi but not linger for long. As soon as we stepped outside to meet them, there were screaming for excitement that brings joy and smile in me. I looked around and saw a lot of fans holding a banner or signage containing my name. Some asked my autograph over the Blackpink's mechandise they own. I gave them my best smile and talked in English to thank them for their support or answer their questions. After a few minutes, I looked around and saw Lisa was busy talking to other fans who seemed to have her pictures and asking her autograph. To my right was Rosé also was talking to a fan and nodding her head. Then I remembered Jisoo and wonder if she is alright since she isn't as good in English like the four of us. Yes, Soohyun also speaks well in English and when I catched a glimpse of her with fans busy ogling at her. Who wouldn't? She's so gorgeous and talented. I looked to my left and saw Jisoo standing there smiling at the fans but it seems like no one is paying attention. At that moment, it breaks my heart to see this. I mean, come on, this is Jichu. Our Jichu. She may not speak much English but she's a part of Blackpink too. I took a step forward towards her direction but a fan grabbed my hand which I turned to see her asking if she could take a picture with me. It only took few seconds so I did and bat an eye at Jisoo's direction to see Soohyun with her. The fans seemed to be gigling in delight whilst Soohyun and Jisoo were talking to them. I couldn't get what they were talking about because there's always a fan who wants to have an autograph. I love giving back to our fans but I'm curious at what they were talking about there. Then in just a split second, I stole another glance at Soohyun and Jisoo to see our visual laughing as fans talk to her. A grin formed across my face but immediately fade when I saw Soohyun's eyes fixated on Jisoo and worse I saw their hands intertwined. It reminds me of how Chaera, CL and Dara's relationship looks like in TV. They appear so shippable and I know some fans are shipping them too. Indeed, I watch some of fan made videos
That's not the end of that. They spend a lot of time together playing games, going out to eat and on one occasion I saw them hugging in our living room when I happen to grab a glass of water. I know it is nothing but it is difficult to swat away these poisonous thoughts.. I blame my hectic schedule for this and wished I offered my room when Soohyun joined our group. Then maybe we would be as close as she is with Jisoo.
"Ehem." I pretended to cough to see Chaeyoung's arms wrapped around Soohyun. My mind went into full gear, spinning possibilities of the hug they're sharing. This is wrong but I hoped my members stop being this affectionate with her.
Soohyun met my gaze and break the hug after patting Rosé back. Why can I see these small details? ugh! Chaeyoung on the other hand turned to her heels and started to fan her face. She have a red nose and I heard her sniffing. I continue to watch them as Soohyun hand her a tissue. Did something bad happened? My desire to know what happened is surging in me so I asked, "Is everything okay?"
"Yeah. We're okay. I'm just being emotional about finally recording." Chaeyoung made her plausabile getaway but she's unconvincing with her hoarse voice. She turned to face me while drying her watery eyes and simper a smile. I must have been staring weirdly at our main vocalist because Chaeyoung giggled.
"Stop that.I'm fine." She hit my arm and gave me a quick hug then went outside of the booth. I'm left with Soohyun who was staring at her. There is a great concern in her eyes. She doesnt say much but she is an easy book to read. I glance at her and easily got lost.
"I'm sorry it took awhile. Did you end up buying anything delicious?"Her raspy sweet voice reached my ears and I she's boldly staring at me but somewhat craving a connection.
Dumbfounded, I shook my head like a 3 year old and pouted. In my defense, I'm always like this when I'm sad or hungry.
"No. I went down and find nothing. Maybe we can go out and eat somewhere nice."I replied, recalling when I went to the cafeteria to see anything I can eat since I'm getting hungry from waiting.
"I see." She bite the corner of her lip before she dipped her head and said, "Of course we can. Hang on I'll ask Chae." She walked passed me and I'm there blinking multiple times.
"Chae? What? Huh?" I asked myself trying to get a hold of myself. My eyes widen in urgency and grabbed Soohyun's wrist that stopped her from stepping out of the booth. My heart is exploding against my chest as I feel a rush of coldness through my feet. "Can we go out, just the two of us?"
There was a pause and it felt like forever. Soohyun is not saying anything so I gathered my courage and look at her. There is a quizzical look plastered across her face while my cheeks burn. "I need to talk to you about last night. Please Soohyun." I'm in the verge of tearing up, fear of being rejected. But she slowly grinned and nod.
"Okay. But how about her?" She asked. I looked over the glass window and saw Chaeyoung on her phone.
"I'll tell her." I replied, letting go of Soohyun before stepping out of the recording booth. Chaeyoung must be hungry but I need to have this time with our leader alone. I have so many questions I wanted to ask her and I can't think of other way to do this.
"OMG..." Chaeyoung gasped in shock that made me frown in awe as she turned speechless and looked at me with widen eyes pointing at the screen of her phone.
"Wha-----" I dared to utter but she cut me off by dragging me by the arm and pulled me at a corner. She kept scrolling and by the second her grip is starting to squeeze me harder. She muffled a squeal and stomping her feet in excitement
"Chae, seriously what is it?" I firmly asked because I'm trying to spend more time with Soohyun. "I'm planning something here you know."
She stopped and rolled her eyes before showing me the message on her phone. I stared at her and noticed the sheepish smile on her face. The message is from a random number and the sender is saying he is BTS's Jungkook. My jaw dropped and cant help but feel overwhelmed for Chaeyoung.
"I'm wondering if we could have a cup of coffee sometimes..." I read those words, enough for both of us to hear it then faced Chaeyoung who is smiling back at me. "Wow. He's been your crush for I dont know how long. Are you going to call him?"
"i don't know. Should I? I should right?" Chaeyoung asked and knowing her she's probably a but hesitant to call any guy since she's been focused with her career. "I mean I like him and all but. I dont know. I should call him right?" She continued to mumbled on that made me chuckle.
"Oh Chae, of course you should. Not everyday a crush would ask you out. You wanted to go out with him." I said with an intention to advice my dear. She nod her head and looked straight ahead before turning to me.
"Did you ask her yet?" She finally asked and I nod my head.
"So is it okay if the two of us go? I mean you must be hungry as well." I replied.
"Oh don't worry about me." Chaeyoung replied quickly but the way she cough after made me worry. I reached for her back and gently rubbed it. "I'll ask out manager drop pass by a restaurant and buy me a meal. Just have fun okay?"
You might be wondering if Rosè knew about my feelings towards Soohyun. She does. She's the first to know about my new found uality.
It was 2 years ago when I broke up with Kai because our schedule and the media killed the chances of us having a time alone like we used to, sneaking around and privately dating. He is great and I do care a lot about him. But as time goes by, I'm getting to know myself more. I come to know I'm also attracted to women as much as I find guys appealing. At first, I thought it is simply like fangirling to my favourite female celebrities or admiration towards my female acquaintance. I for once had a crush on a friend. Then I started to like the idea of going on dates with the same and do things a couple would do. It is alarming then since I've been into fashion, cosmetics and quite sure I'm feminine enough not to shift in that direction. I remembered being so distressed ab