— present
winter

"You're so greedy."

Mark sipped the life out of his water bottle and Renjun chuckled. He knew he was selfish for asking Mark to come out on a Sunday, on a rest day, but his thoughts were better composed this time.

"Hey, I was overexcited about the pork belly we had yesterday, okay. I didn't want my deep, emotional thoughts to ruin our quality time with food."

Mark snickered and shook his head. He knew that wasn't the actual reason. If only he didn't tell Renjun that the other two visited him beforehand then he would've ranted and complained about Donghyuck and Sehyun's current situation.

"Look," Mark faced him, "I know you hate Sehyun for what happened three years ago but really?"

"What?"

"Three years ago, Renjun. Three years ago."

"So you're telling me to forget that a girl hurt my feelings three years ago? As if I was absolutely nothing to her?"

It was funny how the boys were talking about this nearly every month, somehow making it a tradition to bring back a memory three years ago. Renjun ruffled his hair. Mark wasn't really on anyone's side, just like how a counselor would be, but he honestly didn't think Renjun would carry grudges for a long time.

"That's not my point. My point is, you weren't even going out."

"And that's my problem, hyung," Renjun said with frustration, "we never dated. Not even once. Sure, we walked down the park like what we're doing now except that we had butterflies in our stomachs, but it was merely a fling."

Renjun was getting his point across, leaving Mark to hit his brakes and become speechless.

"Then why are you so bothered by her like she dumped you or somethin'?"

Mark asked after a long period of silence. The fact that Renjun started to become frustrated meant that Mark wasn't taking out his feelings properly. He needed to do this peacefully and therapeutically. Renjun sighed.

"First reason, she was afraid of commitment. Okay, I understand she's head over heels for her studies because she was running for scholar but I don't understand why she treated me like we had nothing for each other. I'm an emotional guy and if my actions aren't reciprocated I can get a little..."

"Out of hand?"

"I don't know."

Renjun took out his phone to check if anyone needed his presence or if Jeno wanted him to come over and check if he cooked right. He shut it down, receiving nothing.

"Second reason, Donghyuck..."

"Donghyuck what?"

"Stop intervening, old man."

Mark stared at him in disbelief and Renjun chuckled a bit, glad that he was able to somehow ease the tension between them.

"Anyway, Second reason. I value Donghyuck. It's not obvious and it'd take a million bucks for me to tell him that but I do. I seriously do. I don't want him to go through the same crap I did."

"But you shouldn't worry."

It was starting to get late and the lights were starting to illuminate the street. The kids no longer shouted in the park and soon, adults filled the area.

"Donghyuck," Mark said as he sat down, "he's different from you."

"But Sehyun is still Sehyun."

"Got a point there but I'm pretty sure Donghyuck knows what he's gotten himself into."

"And that's why I'm trying to stop him. So that he won't fall even deeper into her."

"You," Mark pointed at Renjun, "you're forgetting something highly crucial."

Renjun awkwardly smiled and sat beside Mark. They stared at the couples walking and chatting, the singles wandering around and giving time for themselves.

"I didn't forget. I just don't like bringing it up."

"Can't blame you. People don't like to talk about the most painful part after all."

The reasons were like a side-story to what ever Renjun felt towards the situation and towards his past. The main reason, however, didn't want to slip off his tongue. Mark knew it himself but it suffocated him to see Renjun keeping his pain engraved inside his heart, not wishing to let them go one by one.

"Jeno..."

Renjun suddenly said causing Mark to be taken aback by mentioning their friend's name. Renjun sighed.

"I'm not mad at him. No, not ever. It's a bro code, you know. Bros before hoes," he stared at something far away, "But sometimes I think that the main reason why I'm feeling this way is because of him."

Mark couldn't bring out any words of advice, encouragement or comfort at that moment. As Renjun said the boy's name, his memories suddenly became vivid like it had just happened yesterday.

"You've been blabbering about her commitment problems when all you've been thinking about was her flaw."

Mark realized causing him to stand up and pull Renjun up as well so they could take their leave and go to their respective homes.

"She has a ton of those but which one are you referring to?"

"Her ability to change quickly over time."