“She came along and her world embraced me, she came along and everything I had before stopped coming into place, she came along and everything changed.”

  

Jong Hyun, Key, Victoria, and Nichkhun became a regular visitor of Toulouse since their first visit. I also met Amber’s parents who managed to accept their children’s situations. Amber looks like Mr Liu and Jong Hyun like their Mrs Liu, these I noticed. When the parents arrived, they had a talk with Amber and Mrs Liu did not stop telling her how silly she was for letting her life go this path.   “It’s hard raising a kid on your own, Amber! I thought you would have learned from me, but you didn’t! It was less difficult with the finance because I had your dad’s help, but you don’t have anyone! A single mother? Oh God!”   What an abomination, they must have thought.   Amber was apologising to her for letting her down, but she hoped her mother would understand that this was the path she had chosen. Amber’s father seemed very distant, although he acted easygoing when I approached him. I realised how similar Amber is to her father; the way their exterior contradicts what they are really feeling inside. It wasn’t until they had a private talk that I witnessed Mr Liu’s affection towards his daughter. He embraced her and cried, “I’m really sorry. Your mother and I failed you and Jjong, didn’t we?” I almost cried. I became fond of Mr Liu instantly; he is very affectionate, unlike Appa, which made me yearn for a father like him.   The parents insisted that they help with Paris’ school fee and such. Amber, of course, refused and it was not until Mrs Liu coaxed her that she conceded. “Amber, she is our granddaughter. If you don’t let us do at least this, what kind of parents does that make us? You’re alone, Amber. If you insist, fine, but at least let us help with fifty percent of Paris’ expenses.”   When Paris started preschool, Amber was like “a chook with its head cut off”, as Jong Hyun would say regarding her excessive worries on how Paris would cope outside. Amber’s relief didn’t seeped in until Paris came home with a bright smile on her face. I remember how she would come home to tell stories about a new song she learned or a new book she read, like Jaden had in the previous year. Whenever I watch Paris, my mind would go into a pensive mode. How much L missed out on this little girl’s growth and the satisfaction of watching somebody else grow up.   I learned that parenthood is a journey of self-discovery. Children see the world in a completely different way to adults. Seeing the world through a child’s perspective made me reflect on the value of life and my own self. I realised how much I don’t know and I learned how much patience I could actually have. The questions they asked just made me baffled and I had to consider seriously on how to answer them properly. I realised why adults have to set good examples for children; they imitate you, simply because you are the first person they have contact with in their early life.   “I’m sorry,” Jaden raised his voice and caught my attention, “I can’t remember where I put your teddy bear.”   “You’re so annoying, Jaden! That was a present from—”   I had a shock, the biggest shock of my life, when I saw Jaden pulling little Paris into his embrace and… kissed her… on the lips. My eyes were as big as a goldfish and my jaw were dropped so low.   What… the… … just… happened?   Paris pushed Jaden away with all her might until he dropped on the carpet floor and she cringed after wiping . “Yuck! That’s disgusting!” With that, she huffed off to her room to find her mother.   I recovered quickly from my (almost) heart attack and ran over to Jaden, who was stunned when Paris ‘dumped’ him. “Jaden… who… where did you learn that from?”   “How come that didn’t work?” the six-year-old boy asked me with wide eyes. I swear they looked like Min Ho’s.   “What didn’t work?”   “When Mum and Dad had a fight, Dad kissed her and then she kissed him back and they went to their room and everything was fine.”   What the…   “MIN HO!” I shouted with clenched fists. “WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN TEACHING YOUR KIDS?!”   As these children grow up, there’s a different pace you go through every day and week and it has nothing to do with the world outside, which is a sad notion, but when you watch a kid telling you a bizarre joke and you’re dying laughing in wonder of how a kid their age could do so, that’s real happiness!   “Knock knock.”   “Who’s there?”   “Dunnop.”   “Dunnop who?”   “Have you?” Paris lifted her brows mischievously.   Amber raised her eyebrows back. “What?”   My laughter exploded. This kid will be the death of me. “’Dunnop who’ sounds like ‘done a poo’.”   Amber pursed her lips to prevent herself from laughing and shook her head. I high-fived the little girl as she giggled in triumph for tricking her mother.   I realised Amber is so much happier when she is around Paris, but that does not necessarily means she enjoys the actual work involved. The way children try to make you comply with their wishes is like a never-ending cycle; they would only stop to refuel, basically. Like Ed Asner said, “Raising kids is part joy and part guerilla warfare.” Children are also smarter than you think they are.   “Hey Paris, who’s your favourite person in the world?”   “Mumma,” she cheered.   “Who’s your second?”   She thought for a while. “Jaden!”   My eyes almost popped out. “Jaden? Why?”   “Actually… no! I like you more!” She circled her little arms around my neck and hugged me.   “Really?” I flashed her a gummy smile.   “Yes! Can I get a hot chocolate from there?” She pointed to a café we almost passed by and I smacked my face at her ploy.

 

∞∞∞

 

Hyun Ah and I kept in contact. We talked on the phone almost every month to catch up. I also made sure to call Appa every now and then, pretending to be in Malawi. He would always remind me to care more about Hyun Ah and talk to her more often. Initially, I thought it was him being his usual protective self, but as time went on, I began to feel suspicious of what was actually happening. I asked Hyun Ah and she supposed Appa was still concerned about her “grief”.   “Do you still love him, Hyun Ah?”   “L Oppa? Of course I do.” She exhaled a sigh. “Um… how’s Amber? And Paris?”   “They’re good. Paris is turning five next week. Do you want me to send you photos again?”   “Yes, please.” There was sadness in her voice that I could not describe and I could not bring myself to ask her, knowing it concerned L. “She’s an adorable girl. I hope you’ve been giving her my presents.”   “Of course I have! She knows you. Besides, I’ve sent you pictures of her with those clothes you sent her right? Oh, and by the way, Amber’s brother thinks you’re hot!” I smirked in amusement, not that she could see me.   Hyun Ah clucked her tongue. “Who doesn’t?”   I scoffed. “Conceited much?” I chuckled. “