When we had shown up at my Aunt's house, I was expecting Jackson to be there already and Ah-Yi was expecting me not to show up in Kris' car. It had the gears in her head-turning.

"Oh my, welcome, welcome, I didn't think you'd be coming with Kris! Kris how are you?! It's been too long!" She grabbed the box of fresh mooncakes out of his hand and led us into the house. My uncle was sitting at the table, per usual, doing nothing but reading the news on his new tablet. You really couldn't tell that this man in purple slippers worked right next to Kris' father in the government. It might have been weird for Kris to see him like this, but I just laughed and set down the groceries. 

"Fei Yu, I didn't hear you come in." He looked up from his tablet and saw Kris and shot up. I had never seen him stand up so fast and extend his hand. 

"Kris, it is so good to see you again! It's been too long! Your father had told me how much you have grown and I didn't believe him until, wow," He gestured at Kris who had grown a bit more since high school and looked like a put-together businessman. I told him he didn't need to wear anything fancy and when he picked me up I commented on his clothing. "This is causal for me, Fei." He said, helping me put all the groceries in his car. 

"It really has been too long since I've been in this house." My Aunt agreed with him from the kitchen. 

"The last time you all were here I caught you drinking in the basement." 

"Ah-Yi!" She laughed and shrugged, taking the fruit I had bought out of the bags. 

"What? You're grown up now! I can tell funny stories like that." Kris laughed along with my uncle and I turned to look at how comfortable he seemed here. The last time when we got caught, he was the first one to run and leave in the morning.

"Do you know when Jackson is supposed to get here? He had texted me and told me he'd gotten off the train about 45 minutes ago. The taxi should have already picked him up." I shook my head at my uncle but texted Jackson. 

To Jackson: Hey, are you here yet? To my surprise, he answered right away.

From Jackson: Taxi, just dropped me, can you help me carry things in?

"He's here! Just needs help carrying things in." I raced to the door to put my shoes on. I hadn't seen Jackson physically since July and it was October. It was the longest we've been apart. 

"Do you need help?" My uncle stood up to help, but my aunt hurried to shove him back down. I didn't think anything of it until later that night.

"Wang Jia Er!" His back was to me and he turned around as soon as I latched onto him. It had been so long since I hugged him. 

"Pulled out all the stops for the welcoming committee, eh?" I squeeze him tighter and realized that it was hurting me much more than it hurt him.

"Ow, what kind of steroids are you using?!" I let go and rubbed my arms and he laughed, pulling up his shirt and hitting his abs a few times. I made a disgusted noise and covered my eyes, "I didn't ask for a strip show." 

"Be glad, you're the only girl who I'm willing to let see those." I rolled my eyes and picked up all the bags he had on the ground. 

"If there's anything healthy in here, I'm tossing it." 

"Don't worry, I'm the only healthy thing I brought." I shook my head and took all the bags I could carry. 

"I didn't miss that." He laughed and then leaned down, kissing my cheek.

"Missed you more, ex-roomie." My eyes went wide and he just walked straight for the door. I my heels and my body ran straight into Kris. The game had begun again. Jackson: 1 Kris: 0.

When we got inside, my uncle was all gungho about Jackson's new figure. My aunt told him that he looked like he wasn't eating enough and complained when he hugged her too tight. Now that Jackson was here, Kris was the odd one out and it started to show. He started to revert back to the awkward, high school Kris. 

"You all can scatter while I cook up the rest of what I need. Can you set up the table in the back? The candles should be in the 'anything' closet by your room, Jyu." My aunt shooed us out of the kitchen, remembering what happened last time we tried to help. The boys and I went upstairs and I opened my room first. It was the exact same as I left it: Some more books scattered on the desk and the same light purple color with posters all over the wall. Definitely a high schooler's room. Jackson went and jumped on my bed, probably almost breaking the bed frame.

"I want to take a nap, it was a long train ride." 

"Why didn't you take a nap on the train then? We have to set up stuff." He looked up at me and laughed before turning to the wall of posters. 

"Jay Chou, very young Andy Lau, Leehom, oh a bit of Kpop with shirtless TVXQ. You have to buy one of those new kids now. Who's she obsessed with?" He pointed to Kris who had found his home, sitting in my desk chair, looking at my papers and books. 

"WayV or something?" 

"Make fun of me some more why don't you. Why don't I get the posters from your room and show them off? Huh?" Jackson sat up and pushed me against the bedframe where I was sitting. 

"I love your posters what are you talking about, Fei." 

"Are you going to try and read my diary again like the last time you were here?" Kris held up the blue leather-bound notebook and Jackson was still holding me down. Now that his newfound strength was at full force, I was stuck. I had no chance to fight back like before. 

"You two planned this! It's been almost six years since I've written in that!" 

"We just were arguing a few days ago about who you had a thing with during Senior year. I said it was Zhang Yi Xing, he said it was Wang Yi Bo. I think this here will see who's right." I struggled again and tried to hit Jackson but it was no use. 

"UGH, why am I embarrassed about this it was years ago?" 

"March 29th," Kris cleared his throat and turned to face us in my chair, "Zhang Yi Xing had asked me to go to get a snack with him during the break between night classes. I think he is really cute, and soooooo, there's about half a line of o's, nice, but he just doesn't have the vibe that I want. Plus, his hair isn't as nice as Wang Yi Bo's." 

"Is my hair as nice as Wang Yi Bo?" Jackson looked down at me and I rolled my eyes. At this point he didn't need to hold me down, he was just resting his head on my shoulder from above. 

"I haven't told anybody yet, oh this is juicy Fei! I haven't told anybody yet, but as night school ended Wang Yi Bo wanted me to stay behind with him and clean the classroom. Of course, underlined three times-"

"Do you have to give commentary? Just read it as it is!" 

"Of course I said yes and told Jackson to go home and not wait for me. I secretly think Wang Yi Bo is jealous of Jackson like Kris is... was I?" My eyes widened as Kris tested my expressions. 

"I, uh, apparently, I don't know this was 4 years ago, Kris." He pursed his lips and Jackson was confused as to why Kris has stopped the story urging him to go on. He was bad at sensing a room.

"I think it's still relevant, isn't it? I mean look?" I gestured to the position Jackson and I were in, but Jackson stood up grabbing the diary and reading himself. 

"You made out with Wang Yi Bo in the classroom!" Kris glanced over at Jackson who held up my diary. I was definitely over that situation and wanted to get out of the one Kris and I was currently in. Jackson kept on reading. 

"He was a good kisser, I had to give him that. The way he pushed me against the wall, like a bad boy. Yi Xing would never do that, he's too nice. It seemed to last forever until we heard footsteps. My face had to be so red when Teacher Bi walked in. She dismissed us to go home and Wang Yi Bo held my hand when we walked back. I made sure that he didn't walk me up to my front door so Jackson could see. He said he had fun tonight and hoped I could stay after and help him clean the rest of the month. He gave me a kiss on the cheek before walking home. It ends there. There has to be more. A whole month. You were making out with him for a whole month! This is what happens when you go to rich people's school it's like a tv drama!"  I used Jackson to brush off the awkward feeling Kris had just given the room. 

"He was a good kisser, I don't know, it didn't matter that he was rich to me." 

"If I read that diary, is it going to get rated R?" he sat back down on the bed. I shrugged. 

"Remember that one time we were playing truth or drink at the party with Mark?" Jackson's eyes widened and he jumped off the bed as fast as he got on it. This made Kris jump, not remembering the game. 

"On that bed! He came and slept in my room after!" 

"Before. He snuck out. You sleep really soundly." His mouth was wide open and Kris was now the confused one.

"I am lost in this spiral. I lived like half an hour that way." Kris was still sitting on my chair. 

"I had with Wang Yi Bo on that bed senior year of high school." Kris's breath got caught in his throat and his eyes matched Jackson's, "I don't know why you two are so surprised? You knew I had a thing with someone. Jackson knew who it was." 

"But, but, but..."

"Jackson, you won, congrats." 

___________

The day got more and more uncomfortable after that. Kris seemed to be pissed off for no good reason, and Jackson just kept making jokes, but pretty soon he was annoyed at me. My aunt definitely sensed something was wrong but didn't talk to me about it at all. I was just stuck between two guys who were mad at me for sleeping with someone in high school. Kris finally left at midnight because he had to go back for his family breakfast tomorrow. That cut down some annoyance and soon everyone was going to bed. Well, basically, my aunt and uncle went to bed and then Jackson and I were just sitting on the couch staring out at the lake at one AM. He was sipping on a beer and I had just finished a glass of wine from dinner. 

"So... I wasn't going to ask in the room and I thought making fun of you would have helped, but don't think I didn't notice what happened between you and Kris. Did you two get in a fight about something again that I don't know about?" I shook my head. 

"No, it's nothing. It was probably the whole jealous comment and then that time in our apartment. It just triggered him probably I don't know." He downed his third beer. 

"Have you two had the feelings talk yet?" I clenched my first, knowing that he had asked me this question so many times and I haven't given a straight answer. Now I can't hide behind a screen.

"Yes, we did." He sat up from his lounging position. 

"And?" 

"It's kind of... I don't know, personal?" He scrunched his nose. 

"What the hell is that supposed to mean? You're not going to tell me?"

"Has he told you?" He put his hand out to say 'so-so.'

"He told me basically to chill with the PDA and stop pressuring you. I was confused, to say the least. That's why I kissed your cheek today because he kinda pissed me off." I pointed at him.

"When you did that I was so confused, but then I saw Kris and I was like it had to be that." Jackson quirked up and eyebrow and went to get another beer from the fridge. 

"Get me one." 

"What if I wanted to kiss your cheek? Show affection because I haven't seen you in a few." He tossed me the can and joined me back on the couch. That set off an alarm in my head. An alarm that happened the same time Kris told me Jackson had a crush on me and the same one when Senior Zhang said that she's thought Jackson had feelings for me but was hiding it. 

"Usually you hug me, I don't know. Beijing changed you. Have you gotten with any girls with that new body of yours?" He shook his head. 

"Nope. Turns out girls like guys with money and fame. Don't have either of those things." 

"Hey," I pointed at him, feeling a little heat rise to my face, "You're a good pick, you just haven't found the right girl yet." 

"I haven't? Good to know. So what did you and Kris talk about? It couldn't have been too bad since he's basically chauffering you everywhere." Ugh, I guess I was going to have to tell him. 

"Basically, you're going to get uncomfortable, Kris thinks you still like me. He told me you had a crush on me all throughout high school and that he doesn't think it stopped. Then I was like, did you confess to me because Jackson left? And then he got really mean and was like, Jackson's always going to be with you no matter where we are in relation to each other and that it was going to be my choice. I was going to have to pick which one I liked. And then to appease him I was like, fine. I'll try to come to a conclusion, but you can't be saying things like, "You look good in my apartment" and stuff like that. That's probably why he texted you about that. This also all happened after we got in that one fight at the restaurant. Like when I went and made up with him. So it was like a, a double hit or something." Jackson seemed to smirk through my whole story and as he was sipping on his beer. 

"Anything else?" He knew I was rambling, meaning I was getting tipsy, meaning he could get anything out of me.

"Well no, but, hey. You're trying to get me to say something you want to hear." He laughed and shook his head. 

"What makes you think that, Fei? What do you think I want to hear?"

"Get me another beer and I might tell you." He did that and somehow I just want to oblige more into telling him my whole life story for the past 4 months. 

"The one Senior Zhang, I told you about her. She came over. Yeah, this was before the restaurant thing. Anyways, she came over, thank you sir, and she saw my lock screen and basically was asking which one I was into. I told her the whole story about how we got into a fight, this was when Kris and I weren't talking. And then she basically psychoanalyzed me." 

"Really? What did she say?" He had gotten closer on the couch this time his arm snaking behind me on the back of the couch. 

"She said I had 3 things to figure out. Who I liked, who liked me, and why I was being so mean to Kris. I told her I didn't like either of you, Kris liked me, and I was being mean because he was intruding. She also said that there could be many possibilities in this triangle here. I say it's bull, I say there's one possibility." 

"But what did she say?" I took a big drink preparing myself. 

"Kris likes me, I like Kris but don't say it, you don't like me and know I like Kris so you're pushing us together. Kris likes me, I don't like anyone, you like me but feel that for some reason I need to be with Kris and not you. Kris likes me, I deep down like you, and you aren't saying anything because of the rich man." He laughed, this time he was getting a little tipsy too. 

"She called Kris rich man?"

"Still does. It's like our code names."

"What's my nickname?" 

"Just childhood friend." He frowned. 

"Well, that's not nice. I think I should be called the handsome one." 

"The short one sure."

"I'm the same height as Wang Yi Bo and you ed him, sooooooo..." I hit the back of his head and he had to steady his beer because his head was a bit dizzy, "Hey, I think that's really a feat. I wasn't surprised that you had , I was surprised you did it under the nose of everyone in this house and the whole school. I mean a month, you made out with, like, him every day for a month. You know he's like a famous actor now." My eyes widened and I turned sharply to Jackson. 

"Really?! So you're saying I let that go? Damn." 

"I even put my life on the line for you, pretending to be friends with him just so he could sneak around with you. He was cool, I'll give him that, but cocky and annoying." 

"Did you like me then? So you probably hated him." Jackson also drank too much truth serum. 

"Oh yeah, from middle school till like the end of your Yi Bo thing, had a gigantic crush on you but was too scared to say anything. I hated Yi Bo, easily. When I found out Kris liked you, I was like, man, everyone likes her. Then I started backing out and whatnot, you know, finding my own girls, having a few bad attempts at a relationship." 

"I'm saying if you started up with Qing Yi. She's still single." He rolled his eyes. 

"I just don't like her at all. Sure she's pretty and if I was like any other guy, I would just hit and quit, but I'm all about building up a relationship first before all of that." I smiled. 

"How cute. A hopeless romantic." We sat a bit in silence, watching the wind blow some waves in the lake. 

"So which one do you think is right?" 

"Huh?" I turned to him and he turned to look at me. 

"Your writing senior. Which hypothesis do you think is right?" He grabbed my empty beer can it put it next to his on the table. Going to have to clean that up before bed. 

"I have no clue. I just, right now, I don't want to think about dating and relationships and love. I'm trying to get my life started. Maybe like, in a year or something, I'll try. I don't know it could be with Kris, with you, with Wang Yi Bo, it's all completely up in the air. Kris told me he would wait, but I don't think he has that much patience."

"Wait for you to like him back?" I nodded and he laughed a little bit, covering his face. 

"Why is that funny?" Jackson shook his head and hand at me. 

"Nothing, nothing. You wouldn't get it, it's an inside joke." 

"Well, then what should I do?" He stopped laughing. 

"About Kris? I don't know, he said he'd wait. He's also been waiting for a while. Have you like given him chances and hopes?" Yes, but I told him that's not what it was. 

"Like?" 

"Has he kissed you yet?" I pulled a face and pushed Jackson. 

"No, not even close. I told him I ain't ing with any of that feeling stuff until I do it." Jackson leaned back a little bit and put both of us hands up. 

"Okay, okay, then can I test a hypothesis?" I sat up too. 

"That is?" 

"Don't move." It was a whisper, but it spoke louder than anything else he had said the whole night. 

His face got close, and he looked down at my lips. My eyes widened and my cheeks were growing redder. 

"You don't like the idea of kissing Kris. My hypothesis is if you let me kiss you and you feel something, we know where your feelings are. If you don't feel anything, then we know that you don't like either." His breath was hot on my face and smelled like beer. If we were sober, would we be doing this right now?

"Jackson, I-" 

"It doesn't have to mean anything if you don't want it to." With that he went in, his lips on mine, soft; just one kiss. Then another. Then another. Then another. Then he somehow found self-control and pulled back. I grabbed my necklace and realized I had been pushed back to the side on the couch where all the pillows were. He was above me, one hand next to me, his eyes looking down at my hand grabbing the necklace. We were both breathing hard. It couldn't have been from the very few, short... It had to be from something else. My words were caught in my throat.

"Oh my! I'm sorry, I'll just-" My aunt grabbed the water bottle she had left downstairs, not even turning on the lights, and ran back upstairs. My head had turned and my face had to be the reddest it ever was. Jackson still was looking down at my hand grabbing the necklace. 

"Fei Jyu?" I sat upright, almost hitting our heads together, "Do you feel anything...?" I leaned in once more, giving him a tiny peck, trying to recreate whatever feeling I just had. Did I have this with Yi Bo? Mark? I don't... 

"I don't know..." He smirked and I stood up completely, hand still on my necklace like an old woman clutching her pearls. 

"We can try again if you wan-" 

"I'm going to go to bed. Uh, see you, see you tomorrow. Goodnight!" I ran up the stairs as fast as Ah-Yi had, almost slamming my door.