Thank you for all the support! ^^

Do enjoy the angst ~~

He has another 5 hours; just 5 more hours before he will turn to dust, or maybe gone carried by the wind, or lifted up into the air and poof! He’s nowhere to be seen anymore. Truthfully, Donghae has no idea how is he going to die but what he knows is that whichever ways it will be, he is ready.

But not just yet now. Not until he got to spend his last dinner with his beloved members. His best of the best friends he has ever had in his entire lifetime, brothers that sometimes make him so annoyed he wishes he can bulldozed them. Yet still, Donghae loves them. So much and too much until his heart can’t take the love anymore.

And now to see all of them gathering around at the table where Shindong has enough sense to book in private makes all emotion bursting out of Donghae’s chest. The first one greeting him is none other than Heechul whom looks ready to burst into anger to the late couple but when Donghae literally throws him a deathly tight hug, Heechul is quiet. Instead, he’s concern.

“Yah, why are you suddenly like this?” He asks but Donghae says nothing as he buries his head deeper into Heechul’s neck, others are starting to look at him in worries.

“Donghae, are you alright?” Leeteuk is standing by the end of the table, making rooms for all the dishes to fit with Shindong and Yesung’s help. The younger doesn’t reply, he is silence and nobody even knows if he’s crying or not.

Kyuhyun looks over to Hyukjae standing beside him. “Hyung, did you do anything to him?” Kyuhyun asks accusingly which Hyukjae quickly denies. “Why would you think I did anything?” Sighing as Hyukjae looks over Heechul who’s trying to pry Donghae off from him. When the older has succeeded, everyone can see the red over Donghae’s eyes. When Heechul asks if he’s crying, he shakes his head with a bright smile on his face. There it is again Hyukjae thoughts; those big smile that never reaches his ears and how much he wishes he could just force the answer from Donghae.

Because Hyukjae isn’t a fool, he knows something is definitely wrong with Donghae even without the latter telling him anything. He will always know but he won’t possibly pressure him. Donghae hates that the most. So he just keeps silence, sending glances to a worried Leeteuk by the far end of the table while everyone watches Donghae acting so weird.

And this is probably the 100th times Hyukjae has been thinking; is something really bad bothering him?

Few minutes later everybody starts filling in the room—typical of Suju, they’ve never been early to dinner. Ryeowook arrived at the same time complaining about rush hours, Kangin also makes it and surprisingly there is Sungmin too. Siwon arrives 30 minutes later when everybody is threatening him on chatroom to start eating without him. It’s obvious the man has just gotten here from the airport.

“Uri Masi is leaping from countries to countries nowadays.” Shindong jokes as the dishes are served.

“Well, anything for Donghae.” Siwon fist bump the man before his hand resting on Donghae’s thigh who’s sitting right next beside him. It’s not a secret to everybody present that he is absolutely worried about the other. His eyes tell them everything.

“Is there anything special for us to have dinner together, hyung?” Ryeowook asks Donghae with so much curiosity. Because all of a sudden receiving call from Leeteuk saying they will have a dinner with half of them presented is surely very surprising. Until now he doesn’t know the reason.

Donghae smiles again while his eyes travel to each one of s. At this point, Hyukjae feels like throwing all those plates right on the floor and demands answer from him. Donghae is acting so weird and now even Heechul is sending him eye signal asking him what has happened. But Hyukjae couldn’t possibly answer him. He doesn’t know. All of them just watch Donghae putting down his glass of wine and giving the brightest smile he could have ever given.

As much as sincere it looks like, it’s scaring the out of Hyukjae and the rest.

“It’s nothing. I just thought that a dinner with everybody once in a while is a good idea.” Nonchalantly he said before awkwardly massaging the back of his head. Maybe his action seems less suspicious but not to Hyukjae. Even in the car ride to this restaurant earlier, he has noticed how Donghae keeps massaging his head. Sitting restlessly on his seat and face paler in minutes. But when Hyukjae asks him if he’s doing okay, he will just nod without saying anything.

He is so confused why Donghae is keeping secret from him when he has never done something like this. “You know, I almost thought that you’re planning on an elope to another country or something with your odd behavior, hyung. What’s up with the sudden dinner? And Heechul hyung even called me earlier threatening me to come or else he will kick my .” Kyuhyun nags.

“I will definitely do so if you don’t keep your mouth shut now.” Heechul snickers, earning some chuckles from the rest of the members including Donghae.

“Is everything alright, Donghae?” Leeteuk’s worrying voice turns the noisy room into silence. “There’s nothing you want to tell us about?” Every eyes on the younger, watching his body gestures but although they find something is out of place from him the genuine smile drops all those accusations. Donghae doesn’t look like lying yet there is something behind his sad gazes to each one of them.

No one says anything when he keeps on massaging his head, because they are so into deciphering what is exactly so off about him. “Nothing, hyung. Really. Don’t worry.” Until the end of dinner they are confused. Not even Kangin and Siwon making jokes could lift the mood up, yet Donghae is all a ball of sunshine so no one says anything in the end.

“Something is wrong with him.” Leeteuk has to say it like no one ever takes notice and that’s making Hyukjae slightly annoyed, although he doesn’t show it.

Hyukjae, Leeteuk, Heechul, Siwon and Yesung are standing in the parking lot meanwhile the rest are in the restroom, including Donghae with his occasional whining to talk longer with Kangin and Sungmin which are really weird. The leader is looking hardly at Hyukjae, face laced with ultimate worries. “Are you sure he doesn’t say anything to you?”

He sighs loudly in defeat. “Trust me hyung, I’ve been trying asking him for so many times if there’s anything bothering him. But he won’t say anything.” Hyukjae said. His face contorts with worries and confusion mirrored the rest standing before him in circle.

“When he was face timing me this noon, I thought that he was just like you know saying hi and things. But he seemed so …… off. Like there’s something he wants to say but he won’t or maybe couldn’t. The way he’s acting scared me.” Siwon utters with a deep frown.

“You mean like he’s hiding something big?”

“Well isn’t he?” Heechul answers Yesung’s question. He stares to Hyukjae this time. “I don’t know how to put it but the way he’s crying just now while hugging me is so weird. he’s giving me goosebumps and I’m very worried. What if he’s sick and he won’t tell us?”

Leeteuk clicks his tongue. “Yah, don’t say it like that.” Only to have Heechul frantic at his remarks.

“But he looks so pale! You guys see it too right?”

“Hyung keep it down! He’s going to hear you.” Hyukjae hushes Heechul when Donghae comes out from the restaurant with Ryeowook close beside him. They are laughing about something and to hear Donghae’s sweet laughter makes Hyukjae’s heart skipping a beat. But like the rest of s, they can’t shake off the feeling wrapping around them about Donghae’s strange antics.

“Oh God, look at the time!” Donghae loudly exclaims as he takes a look at his watch. He looks up to all the members now standing in circle around him. “I guess we should call it a day hyung.”

“Already? But it’s barely 9:30PM.” Yesung commented in surprise.

“Well in case you guys didn’t notice, I’m sleepy already.” Shindong chimes in putting his muscled arm over Kyuhyun’s shoulder, leaning his thin body to the maknae. “I barely can keep my eyes open.”

“It’s so nice to sleep early!” Ryeowook said in whine. “I barely can sleep at night.”

“I haven’t been sleeping so well nowadays.” Yesung pipes in earning a scoff from Heechul beside him. “You’ve never sleep so well in years.”

“Maybe it’s your pillow.” – Kyuhyun

“I am positive my pillow is innocent. It must be my air purifier. It smells like fart.” – Ryeowook

“Who the hell put fart as a purifier? Do you want to die early?” – Heechul

“Well apparently smelling others’ fart can avoid you from getting a risk of heart attack, and—“

“Oh shut up Masi! You and your stupid health fact you body builder obsessive freak!” Heechul ends up hollering in the middle of the side road to Siwon.

“But it’s a fact from WHO!” And Siwon joining the bandwagon of ‘why we can’t sleep’ and ‘fart purifier’ only giving more headache to Leeteuk’s head. Seriously, are they 5?!

“Guys that’s enough I think we should—“

“Pfft!”

Before Leeteuk could continue on with his scolding, somebody is roaring out in laughter and it’s none other than Donghae himself. He stumbles backward while laughing like hyena, holding his stomach as he bends his body forward. Everybody falls into silence. They thought he will die from suffocation somehow. Nobody could relate what’s so funny to him.

“Ummmm what?” Kyuhyun asks in utter confusion watching the older cackling like no tomorrow. Even the rest are perplexed.

Donghae struggles to contain his laughter while talking as he looks up to the rest. The edge of his eyes is wet from laughing too much and his face is bright. Somehow, all of their worries about him earlier vanish in one go. Watching him acting like his usual idiotic self is refreshing. “You guys are so funny!” he grabs on to Hyukjae to balance himself and by then everyone is joining his laughter.

Maybe they are just being paranoid because Donghae is absolutely fine. They parted ways minutes later after a group selfie and leave to their own home. Donghae is hugging everybody to the point even the group hug couldn’t possibly stop him from giving each one of the members a hug. It almost looks like he doesn’t want the night to end when he’s the first dismissing the dinner.

“Take care everybody. I love you guys.” He waves at them as they leave the area without much a thought to his wishes. Though Hyukjae is weirded out once again as they walk to the car. His eyes not leaving Donghae beside him at all. Before Hyukjae could move to the driver’s side of the car, strong arms circled him for a tight hug from behind.

He smiles. “You do know we are going home together right?” He pats Donghae’s hands softly, not minding the cold wrapping those smooth fingers. Donghae hums. “I can’t possibly left you out of my hugs.”

“Well, you can hug me all you want when we got back home.” Hyukjae slowly pries his hands off as he turns back. “You don’t have any schedule for tomorrow right? Sleep over at mine tonight.” Hyukjae wants to blame the lamppost standing above them for making him seeing a hallucination of Donghae’s smile falling off his lips. Suddenly he looks so sad, like he knows something no one else knows about. That pricks on Hyukjae’s curiosity so much.

He smiles softly and whispers, “I don’t think I should.”

“Why not? We can do whatever you want for tonight.” He holds on to Donghae’s hands tightly. They are lucky the parking lot is a bit desolate so they don’t have to worry about any paparazzis or fans. “Just say whatever you want.”

Donghae thinks silently, humming as he looks up. He’s acting al