And baby, I'm no stranger

To heartbreak and the pain, of

Always being let go

Lights were flickering all over us as we ended up our performance. I could hear all the cheers Buddies are giving us and it gave me strength to last a whole day. Really.

We were still standing on the stage, getting ready for one last dance. I readied myself while breathing hard. Seriously, the staff and dance instructors seemed like they really wanted us get killed. The routine was super exhausting! My legs are slightly wobbly at that. But it always gave me joy when I looked at our leader’s legs.

Boy, it’s literally shaking like it’s going to fall off her body!

Eunha teased Sowon about something and they went to their whispering mode again. Of course the fans loved it. How will they not like it? Sowon and Eunha was like making out in the stage with the hug and whispering that is too intimately to watch.

I jeered looking at them and I saw fans call out my name saying if I were jealous. I looked at one of them and made a run of my thumb in the neck. I’ll kill that guy, seriously. I’m not affected whatsoever at their skinship but decided to ‘act’ like one.

Suddenly, Yerin came up to me and placed her hand on my exposed belly and started swaying. Should I go with the flow?

Hell, yeah.

Fans went out to cheer more and I could tell Yerin was liking the response. Her hands went all too familiar with my body and started touching me close enough to my intimate parts.

God. I wish she would never stop doing that.

She snuggled her nose at the back of my head and presses her lips lightly on my nape. It gave me shivers and I gulped. Buddies were at the top of their lungs as Yerin encircled me with her hug. All I could do that time was to smile awkwardly in front and not do a thing about it, afraid she might go away from me.

But just like an interrupted dream,  it was time for us to perform again. I know we need to part ways for the formation but I wanted to have a little time for the hug. Just a little bit.

Just a little bit more.

Because I know right after this, she’ll go to the room with us and I’ll just be a prop for another performace.

I sighed as I felt her hands slowly sliding away, the warmth that was there awhile ago was getting too cold the second her hands were not there. But before she completely let go of me, she hushed a breath on my nape which sent me to alert mode.

What the hell was that?!

I turned at her, masking a face of annoyance. "Why did you do that?”

But Yerin just smiled innocently and grins like the idiot I always knew. “What? Don’t you like it? You’re sweaty.”

It made me super conscious. Am I sweating that bad? Oh brother. “W-why don’t you just tell me? Do I smell bad?”

Yerin leaned closer. So close I could feel her cheek brushed against mine. “No, you always smell good as always. And I love it about you.”

The fans were louder this time. I guess there were SINRINators amongst the crowds. Oh boy. Only if I could get some HD pictures they were taking! I want some for keeps too!

Then, as fast as she went all too familiar, she faded before my eyes and went straight to her position. I let out a sigh of defeat. It bugged me.

Or wasn’t it?

Who am I kidding. I’m no stranger to this feeling. It will always be like this.

Then I asked myself. Why can’t she just fall in love like me? Why can’t she try? Why would she always hold on to me strong enough to leave a mark and leave me completely broken everytime?

Why can’t she just like me? More than the skinships and the whispers and the muted I love yous on screen?