I got home late and I'm pretty sure my members are in their beds now. Maybe except Yerin. It was another Red Velvet comeback and for sure Yerin will go to her friends again to celebrate.

I huffed a breath before opening the door to our dorm. There I found our living room with Umji and Sinb sleeping peacefully beside Angkko's playplace. I smiled at seeing them, especially for Sinb.

I never knew what happened that day when I ordered Yerin to end both their sufferings but I'm guessing that Yerin may have explained everything to Sinb in a nice manner. I could never be more proud of Yerin for straightening it out.

I placed my things on the couch and decided to sit and watch the sleeping duo. It feels fulfilling coming home and seeing your members sleeping soundly and at ease. Looking at them makes me relax a little bit.

And it feels kind of nostalgic when they're like this. I remembered when we all first met inside that basement that served our practice room. All our dreams were formed inside that room and all fears about debuting. That got me learn more from them, on what should I improve and what should I let go of. And it's thanks to my members.

I basically saw them grow. And as crass as it may sound that my moniker is a mother of five... I am like that. In every sense of the word.

I saw how they tried so hard not to cry whenever other fans try to undermine our achievements. They pretend to be strong and not caring amidst all the rage and the fame that's taking place. And they all ran to me when they no can no longer handle the pain.

It pains me too but I should be that firm handle everyone wants to cling on to in times of need. And whenever I see them laughing and being just themselves makes my work as a leader and mother, easier and fulfilling.

That's why, I know I had to step in when Sinb was showing that look on her unnie for quite a long time now. I knew that look. That look of fondness beyond what friends give to each other.

It pains me everytime I had to look after her whenever Yerin feels like entertaining other members and her friends. Sinb looked lost and grumpy. Always in a foul mood until Yerin goes back to her and plays with her.

I thought it was normal at first. Then I started to question why was Sinb like that. Until it happened. Until Yerin went to me and cried.

I crossed my legs and looked at the time. Will Yerin come home today or not? Guess I need to wait a little bit more before making sure everyone's in their rooms. I observed Sinb more, snuggled closer to Umji, hand on top of Umji's waist and wondered. Why and how did she came to like one of her members?

Yerin went to climb in my bed that night saying she couldn't sleep. I was annoyed at first but made a space for her and asked what's the matter. And there she cried softly, afraid that maybe her sobs could be heard. And then I heard it, a call of despair on what should she do.

"I knew Sinb liked me. But I never knew to that extent," I remembered she said and hugged me for support. "I'm afraid."

At first, I didn't understand until Yerin slept her tears away. That's when I knew why Yerin was afraid. It will have consequences for us. And it may lead to these two members of mine to drift apart.

And maybe Yerin felt betrayed by the act. That Sinb chose that path which can lead to both losing a potential lover and a friend. Especially when Yerin doesn't have the same feelings as Sinb does.

But it was Yerin's decision to pretend. To pretend that she didn't know anything and that she didn't accidentally saw Sinb's note to herself in her cellphone that she loves her Yerin unnie more than a bestfriend. And it was my decision to just observe and ready myself for what could happen next.

But the demand for us is no joke. Our careers are on the line. One mistake, and everything will be in ruin. And Sinb and Yerin, though maybe unconsciously, are treading towards being drifted apart. The other started hanging out with her other friends; the other started keeping to herself.

I want to do something for the both of them. But how? I knew I will be stepping in the line and it might compromise everything they have for each other, so I kept quiet until I could no longer bear to see Sinb so distraught and lost.

"You're still awake, unnie?" I heard Yerin said while gesturing to sit beside me. "What's the problem?"

I pointed at Sinb and I noticed how she gulped hard. "What happened? How did Sinb became like herself lately?"

Yerin kept her gaze to our topic of discussion. And for the first time I thought I was seeing another person. I don't know what kind of expression is on her face right now. "Yerin?"

"Everything's alright now unnie," she simply said. "Soumu and our group can relax now."

I cupped her cheeks to face me and she diverted her gaze. "Something happened Yerin. Something must have happened. What did you do?"

She bit her lip in hesitation and I saw the same fear in her eyes like the last time when she went up to me about Sinb liking her. It pained me, like it was stabbing me at my back. "Oh Yerin..."

She held my hands cupping her cheeks and pressed it further to her cheek. "I'm cold unnie. Can you hug me?"

I felt the emptiness in that voice. I even hinted another fear that was lingering around her but I couldn't decipher what. So I hugged her and placed her head in my chest and swayed slowly, like lulling her to sleep.

Then I heard her soft sobs like before. "S-she was too good unnie, I don't deserve someone like her," she muffled through my shirt. "She was crying in front of me and I-I just can't hide it now unnie..."

Her word trailed and filled my brain. And instantly I knew what she meant. She didn't need to say more and so I kept hushing her. "Just sleep now Yerin. Everything will be alright by tomorrow."

----

I heard Yerin's soft steady breaths and caresses her hair while checking up on our two maknaes. It got me thinking hard on how we'll face tomorrow. Especially how will Yerin and Sinb will face another day.

It must be hard. No, it is hard. All this time, all these fleeting emotions that will not be returned must be a damning thought. And two people very dear to me were destined to be victims of that so called fate.

But more like.. they have chosen it themselves.

Just then, I felt a tug on my sleeve and saw Eunha rubbing her eyes. "Why did you wake up?"

"I got thirsty unnie," Eunha said softly, minding that there were our members asleep in the area. "You got a sleepover? Can I join?"

I made a space for her in the couch and she went to sit beside me. She yawned and went to check on Yerin. "What happened?"

I looked at her and assured that everything's alright. I know Eunha will not buy it but she knew when to stop stooping other's business. "Feel sleepy now?"

She nodded and rested her head on my shoulder. "We've come a long way unnie. Can't you see how far we'll still go?"

I smiled. "Is that part of your midnight thoughts?"

"No," Eunha sleepily said. "Yuju's. She always talk to me about our group having changes like, individually. Like she seemed, we're all drifting apart, gaining other interests which none of us share. She's afraid we're all losing our common ground."

I heaved a sigh. Such midnight thoughts. And yet, it's true. We're all growing. And sooner or later, we will be another person, another entity with different tastes and beliefs. Maybe we will still live together for the coming two or three years more, but what about the years coming after that?

That's just how life is, I guess. Maybe Sinb will wake up one day not loving Yerin anymore; or Yerin, one day, find herself wanting that attraction; or both will wait for each other at the end of our road together as group. Maybe Eunha will not want burgers anymore; or Yuju will participate in more solos in the coming years. Maybe Umji will follow her Dad's footsteps after this; and I will pursue being a producer.

No one knows, and yet we are unconsciously traversing those differents paths little by little.

Then I heard another yawn and saw Yuju trying to lay her head on Eunha's lap. "Can't sleep too?"

Yuju smiled and placed sleeping Eunha's hand as if to emulate that the older was hugging her. "I got jealous that you're all here. I want to be with you guys."

I smiled at her and laid my head on the head rest. "We're all here."

"Unnie, you think I'm being too much?" Yuju asked. "Is my fangirling that annoying now?"

"No Yuju," I answered. "It will never be annoying or too much. Your members just like to tease you about it but they're very much like you."

"Like me?"

"Mmhmm," I hummed while trying to find the right words to make Yuju accept her hobby. "We all just have different tastes in everything. You being vocal about being a fan is not annoying. It just means that you found somethung interesting and worthwhile of your time."

I then heard Yuju sighed. "I'm just afraid of drifting away."

I looked at her and asked myself. Am I afraid of drifting away too?

We're a family now and they look up to me for answers for a time like this. If someone's afraid of parting ways or drifting away from the group's common interests, I'm twice afraid. I saw them grow, letting go of them will be difficult for me too.

I stared at Sinb and caressed Yerin's hair. I can't bear the feeling of having to say good bye to someone very dear to me. Whatever they had decided for themselves, I need to be brave for my other members. I just want them to know that I will always be here for them.

"Are you afraid too unnie for that time to come?" Yuju said while yawning. Yuju never fails to make me wonder with her questions. They might be silly sometimes, but her questions shake something within you. Something fragile.

"Yes. But we all need to accept that, right?" I said. "Nothing's permanent. All we can do for now is be beside each other for the good or for the worse. It's what family is for."

I saw Yuju smiled and drifted off to sleep and I felt contented that I gave her an answer to her question. For Sinb and Yerin though, I hope someday, they can brave themselves and talk to me.

I will never walk away from them for what they may decide for their relationship. If they decide to walk away from each other, I will be that bridge to make them meet in the middle albeit their differences and feelings towards each other. And if they decide to endure tomorrow together, I will make sure no one will hurt or say worse things for who they are.

And I know my members will, too. For the longest time that we're a family, I know they will protect each and everyone of us in their own way. That's just what my group is built of. Trust.

I'm hoping too that someday or some other lifetime that these two will meet, I hope nothing can stand in their way anymore. No one wants them apart. I also hope too that tomorrow will only bring smiles to our faces. 

Please be good to us. 

-oo0oo- 

Thank you for reading the end of the chapter. :))