END OF THE ROAD

Jisoo ushered me to the car.

We left the church for a nearby graveyard.

Jihoon was driving,

with Soonyoung beside him sitting,

both were lost in thought,

both quiet in heartbreak and grief.

The rest of our friends were not far.

They chose to drive in another car,

though wanting to stay close evident in their faces,

they chose to give me space,

not overwhelm me with their (sad) embraces,

and gave me time to cry in a safe place.

The four of us drove in silence.

It was a journey full of pretense,

with faltering smiles we kept pretending,

All of us trying to endure the overwhelming feeling

of emptiness,

of loss.

The pain,

we tried to keep at bay,

hoping that tomorrow everything will be okay.

I sat by the window,

watched the scenery go by,

made blurry by the rain,

observing life go by thru the window pane.

It’s funny how everything was the same,

outside my world,

nothing has changed,

there were puppies running,

by the playground children were playing,

soaked but laughing,

happy that it’s raining.

For everyone,

life keeps going,

a million reasons to keep smiling,

a hundred to keep on living,

while I can’t find it in me to keep breathing.

The car stopped moving,

the engine stopped humming,

the clouds for a bit stop crying,

the bleak air was drowning,

along the trees that were swaying,

were gravestones in solemn neat rows standing,

a reminder that this was our road ending.