THE COLOR BLACK

I have been to a number of funerals,

for long forgotten acquaintances,

not so close relatives,

a neighbor's neighbor,

or a friend's friend.

I braved the bleakness of the air, 

felt drizzle of tears not my own,

float without much care

in an ocean of overwhelming despair,

Never understanding how vast the loss can be --

Until today.

The sun--

being it's usual self, 

was bright and warm.

Stained glass windows shimmered under its scrutiny,

Outside the breeze sung a soft tune,

while the trees danced joyfully.

The butterflies wallowed in the day's perfection,

painting a flawless picture.

It was a perfect day to --

feel nothing.

I see--

Flowers of different colors,

draped with green leaves and vines,

underneath a shimmering cross in the middle,

An angel bashing in rainbow

from the nearby stained glass window,

A black dog

held by a man in black suit,

Black rosaries,

Black dresses,

Black veils,

just black. 

I once told Seungcheol I love the color black,

I love how it creates depth,

how it brings variation of hues to other colors,

 how it emphasizes the brightness

with darkness,

how...

But black also absorbs light,

an absence of color,

an absence of life--

I'm not sure I love black anymore.