For Byul, Kim Yongsun is an epitome of an ideal lover.

She’s pretty, she’s nice, she’s considerate, she’s mentally strong, she knows what she wants, she doesn’t mind hurting if it will bring happiness to people around her and the more the younger girl gets to know her, the longer the list would be.

But, if there is one thing that made her an ultimately great symbol of a perfect lover is she showed other people, even though in an indirect way, how to choose a great partner. Because, unconsciously, Yongsun has set a high standard. At least, for Mamamoo’s members. Even though Byul and the other two maknaes will never talk about it openly, the three of them had fallen with Yongsun at some point in their career life together. It doesn’t matter if it is platonic or more. 

So, whenever they like somebody, it’s natural to compare them to Yongsun. 

“He’s not as funny as Yongsun-Unnie,” said Wheein after she went on date with her old friend from Jeonju. 

“Well, whatever. I’d rather be alone. What’s important is Yongsun-Unnie said she’ll be here at the moment” as Hyejin replied to her on the phone after Byul asked the baby of the group about her two years of inexistence love life. After 5 seconds of no response from Byul, Hyejin said, “Byul-Unnie, don’t you dare come to my apartment now. Today is my day and I’m not in the mood to share Yongsun-Unnie’s attention with you. So, bye.” as she ended the phone call abruptly. Byul could only curse in silence. 

It’s funny how the three of them have different ways of loving their leader. Wheein showed her love through admiring stares, laughing and joking around with the older girl. Hyejin marked her love through aggressive acts by kissing her in every opportunity she could find and protected Yongsun whenever some threat was near the older girl. 

While Byul, no matter how selfish it would sound, Byul just wanted Yongsun for herself and herself only.

And that is a big problem because even though loving and admiring Kim Yongsun is allowed, owning her is such a different case. 

So, after the confession that Yong made last night, Byul has been thinking about the right way to tell the maknaes about their new relationship without creating an unwanted big fight. Which, she believes won't go smoothly as she wanted it to be. 

---

Hyejin closed her eyes for the last 5 minutes and ignored confused Byul alone. The older girl has actually prepared for some objects being thrown at her or at least, received a big hysterical scream from the baby of the group. But, no, as soon as Byul told her about her and Yongsun’s relationship, Hyejin just stopped doing anything.

“Hye- Hyejin-ah, talk, will you?”

“What should I say to you? Congratulations?” as Hyejin snapped. 

“Anything, really, anything.” 

The youngest of the group groaned in frustration, “Who’s asking who first?”

“Yongsu-” Hyejin cut her answer, “You must do something first, right?”

In defeat, and of course because it was true, Byul nodded. She looked down on the floor as she heard some movement from the other person besides her. Hyejin has already squatted down right in front of her while putting both of her hands on Byul’s cheeks, “Do you know how dangerous it is for our group? Has the two of you considered that along the way each of you could hurt each other? Where do I position myself, now?”

Byul stared at her without saying anything. Hyejin continued her speech, “I love my Unnies so bad and I wish every happiness to both of you. But what should I do if things go bad, Byul-Unnie?”

The older girl just hugged her. It’s getting tighter and tighter as the sobs sound came out from Hyejin. 

---

Right before she left Hyejin’s apartment, the younger one warned her that Wheein might take the information harder than her. Byul had no idea why it should be like that until Wheein gave her the saddest smile.

“Before you ask, yes I’m quite heartbroken now.”

“Are you-”

“I don’t know. I kinda have mixed feelings towards Yongsun-Unnie.” Wheein paused for a while and chuckled. “ It’s totally abstract but someday, I believe it will grow into something.”

Byul bites her lips in nervousness. The younger girl noticed it and laughed out loud. “Unnieee~, it’s okay. After all, you already kill it to grow freely.”

“What do you mean?”

“You left me with only one option left, Byul-Unnie.”

Both know the message that Wheein tried to convey. It could only ever be love between sisters.

Byul had no idea which hurt her the most. The fact that Wheein said that while smiling widely until her one dimple showed or how she had hurt one of her most important people.

“I’m sorry.” as she put both of her hands to her face. 

“Don’t.”

---

As the relationship went by, it’s only natural for Byul to finally realize that Yong was also a human. She’s got flaws here and there. The perfection was simply a mask. Because even the happy pill of Mamamoo had some sad moments.

It wasn’t rare for Byul to found Yong inside the blanket. With puffy eyes or not, she simply looks kind of dead. Yongsun might be everyone’s sun, but for her, she’s simply Kim Yongsun. Her partner for life who could lose her own light.

But still, she’s grateful for this relationship. Especially when being with her has made many people, including their maknaes, sacrifice many things. 

“What are you thinking about, Byul-ah?”

Byul looked up from her unwritten notebook and found her girlfriend smiled towards her softly. She only wears one big t-shirt without pants underneath it. 

“You’re finished cleaning up, huh? Come here.” as the younger girl asked Yongsun to join her in bed. 

“Being clingy, aren’t you?”

Byul nodded as Yongsun hugged her in a warm embrace. The rapper sighs in relief, “Kim Yongsun, don’t forget about us, okay?”

The older girl chuckled, “Yah, how could I?”

“Just don’t.” as she hugged her tighter. 

___

Author's note:

I'm sorry, but this is me using Byul's pov to pouring out my love towards Kim Yongsun. XD

I used to adore her to the limit I don't see her as human, but a goddess. As her existence was the one that helped me through my biggest depression condition two months ago. Well, I still see her as a goddess, but maybe in a better way (?)

But when she released a song called "Empty" on her birthday, I just realized she's also a human. Someone that could get hurt and somehow, I felt guilty. 

It becomes love letter towards Kim Yongsun than author's note XD

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