I spent the rest of the week at school analyzing and avoiding everyone. Every person I looked at had the potential to use me. To want something from me. And any one of them could've talked  to the reporter. Even my friends.

I avoided Jisoo and Irene by hiding out in the back stacks of the library with my bagged lunch. I ducked around corners when I saw them walking down the halls, and stayed away from places I knew they'd be. 

How did people with money ever know if people really liked them for them? I would just move far away and wouldn't tell people I'd won the lottery. Like with Jimin. That had worked out perfectly. 

☘ 𝔏𝔬𝔱𝔱𝔬 𝔏𝔬𝔳𝔢 ☘

Friday night, I opened my front door before Jimin could knock and threw my arms around his neck. In my loneliness this week, I had reaffirmed what I'd realized before. Jimin was someone I could trust and that meant something. It was more than that, too; Jimin was someone I liked. I needed him in my life. I was going to tell him that tonight and let whatever happened as a result of that admission happen. I smiled at the thought. 

"Hi," he said against my cheek. "I'm happy to see you, too."

I gave him one last tight squeeze and let him go. "Thanks for taking me out tonight. I needed this."

"I hope it's not disappointing. I feel like I've built up some big event since your birthday. Like you now except me to lasso the moon or something."

"Lasso the moon? If that's not what is happening tonight, I will be completely disappointed."

He kicked at the sidewalk between us. "But seriously, it's not a big thing. You know I'm trying to dave every penny I have, so it's not even an expensive night or anything."

I grabbed his hand. "Jimin, I would be happy if we sat in your car and did nothing." Or we could sit in his car and do something, I thought, my eyes going to his lips and then quickly darting away like he could read my thoughts.

He nodded, then intertwined our fingers together and led me down the walkway and to his car. He climbed in and shut his door. He put his keys in the ignition but instead of turning them, he shifted in his seat to face me.

After several beats of silence he said, "You didn't mean sit in my car and do nothing, right? Can we at least sit in here and talk?"

I laughed. "Yes, what shall we talk about?"

He smiled, then started the car. "I do have something a tiny more exciting planned."

☘ 𝔏𝔬𝔱𝔱𝔬 𝔏𝔬𝔳𝔢 ☘

I wasn't necessarily a girl who liked surprises. After all, I made plans to make plans. But I was going to be better about this, loosen up, let go of some control. At least with him.

"How has your week been?" he asked as we drove along.

"Not great," I responded truthfully. 

"Why not?"

So many reasons. "I think my parents are going to get a divorce." That was the first time I'd said that to anyone, even myself.

"I'm sorry. That's hard. Why do you think that?"

"Because the only time they don't fight is when they aren't in the same place together." I sighed.

"That's not good. Another thing you can't control and wish you could?"

I let out a huff. "For sure. I was trying to for a little while, but I'm learning that it's not up to me." I shook my head. "Let's not talk about this tonight. Let's talk about happy things."

"Like what?"

"Like Susie and Jaemin finally going out."

He smiled. "Jaemin has been waiting a while."

"Has he?" The butterflies were back to flapping around in my stomach.

"You have no idea." He winked at me. "But that makes for a better story, right? Buildup. Tension."

I laughed. 

Jimin pulled into the K-mart, the way the store was lit I could clearly see Jieun sitting on her stool behind the register. 

"Do you need gas?" I asked.

"No, just a quick stop for a few snacks before we head on." He parked and turned off the engine.

"Can I wait in the car?" I asked.

His brow went  down.

"I'll give you some money for my snacks but I'd rather not go in."

"First of all, I'm paying for your snacks. What do you think this is, a friendship outing? Second of all, why don't you want to come in?"

"I just . . . Jieun . . ." I realized he might not know her name. "The cashier and I don't get along."

He laughed. "Join the club."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't like her either. Now don't make me face her alone."

"Why don't you like her? I saw you guys laughing together last time."

"Let's see, our exchanges go like this. She says, Wow, you don't even have an accent. I say, You don't either. Then we both laugh, while I secretly curse her. This is the routine every time."

As much as the story it made me feel better about my initial instinct of not giving her any money. I owed her nothing. "Why do you keep going in there, then?" I asked. 

"I can't avoid every place where people say ignorant things or I wouldn't have anywhere to go."

I squeezed his arm. "I'm sorry."

He shrugged.

Either way, Jieun wasn't going to be the one to break the news about my lottery win to Jimin. I was staying in this car. "I promise I'll go in with you next time, but tonight . . ."

"That's fine. Stay. I'll be right back." He smiled at me, kissed me on the cheek, then went to face Jieun alone. 

I put my hand over my cheek after he was gone, unable to contain the wide grin that had taken over. 

Jimin came out carrying two big drinks and a bag. When I tried to look in the bag after he set it by his feet, he pushed my hand away. "No way, now you have to wait. Mostly because I can tell surprises aren't your favorite, but also because Jieun was especially annoying tonight."

"How do you know I don't like surprises? Maybe I love them."

"Because when you're nervous you talk five times as fast as you normally do."

I shoved his arm and laughed. 

I tried not to talk the rest of the drive. I didn't want him to know how right he'd been. 

My attention had been so focused on him, on the night, that I hadn't been paying attention to the landscape until he pulled into the parking lot of the zoo.

"We're going to the zoo?"

"This is where we met."

For a second I thought we were just going to sit in the car and eat whatever was in the bag and stare at the front gates. This would've all been perfectly fine with me. But he opened his door. "Seokjin gave me his keys." He pulled a key out of his pocket and held it up for me. 

I smiled. "Did you tell him it was for me? He might've taken them back."

Jimin sighed.

Taking me here was a sweet gesture. I didn't realize how sweet until we were inside, though. Jimin had lit the walkways with strands and strands of white light. They were wrapped around railings and poles and tree trunks and signs . . . and my entire insides. Or at least it felt like my body was glowing. 

"Didn't you have school today?" I asked.

"I came over here right after the zoo closed with a few buddies."

Nobody had ever done something so nice for me. My eyes stung and that reaction embarrassed me. I hooked my arm in his elbow and laid my head on his shoulder as we walked. "I thought you said it wasn't a big thing."

"It's not. Just a little time."

"Thank you."

"Totally worth it," he said.

His lit path led to the Farm. The carousel and its horses were lit up as well, and he held his arm to the side, gesturing for me to climb on.

"Do you have the key for this, too?"

"I do."

"Wow. Seokjin really likes you."

"Everyone likes me, Suzy."

"I know."

He laughed. "He told me that if we got hurt here tonight, though, he'd say we broke in."

"Nice." I climbed up and searched for the perfect horse. Jimin went to a panel in the center of the ride. 

"You ready?" he asked.

I held the pole and smiled his way. "Ready."

He turned the key. Music poured from the speakers about my horse lurched forward. Jimin jumped onto the horse next to mine. 

As the carousel went around I put my head back and looked at the sky. "I've never been here at night. It's really cool."

While Jimin's horse went down, mine went up. "This thing has a tight turning radius. I can see why kids barf after riding this thing."

"Are you getting sick?"

"What? No, because that wouldn't be very romantic."

"Are we going for romance here on a kiddie ride?"

"No, not at all, why would we? Kiddies rides aren't for romance, they're for fun." He stood up on his horse. "And for showing off."

"Sit down or Seokjin will say we broke in."

Jimin sled off the horse to the metal floor beside me and leaned against my horse. His position didn't work. The horse moved up and down, jostling him with each move. He smirked at me and as much as he probably thought he looked silly, he actually looked adorable. Our eyes were locked and just as I moved to take his hand, the horse shifted him again. Jimin have up and wove his way back to the control panel. The spinning slowed to a stop.

"There's a garbage can ten feet to the right," I said.

"I am not going to barf. And I know where all the garbage cans are. I work here." He held out his hand for me and I took it.

"That was fun."

"We're not done, Suzy," He led me across the way to the train. Each car was lit with more lights.

"You are the best, Park Jimin."

"Usually without trying, but this time it actually took work."

I smiled.

He sat in the conductor seat. In the car behind his were blankets and pillows. "All aboard," he said. "Let me remind you of a few rules. Standing in the train is permitted. And if you'd like to hang your arms and legs off the side, please do so."

I sat down and he pulled the whistle three times. He lifted the walkie-talkie from its holder and spoke into it, causing an echo effect with his real voice. "Here on the night train you will see no animals; they are all asleep. The cows, the rabbits, the ducks, the goats, the emus, the sloths, especially the sloths. But that's not what the night train is all about. The night train leads to a magical place where magical things happen."

"What kind of magical things?" I asked. I'd had a smile on my face since the second he showed up on my front porch and my cheeks were starting to hurt.

"Magic cannot be explained. It can only be experienced." 

The train rounded a corner and I could barely make out the tunnel up ahead. Its opening was completely black, almost creepy. I thought maybe he would've lit the tunnel as well, but he hadn't. As the train went through it, the lights Jimin had decorated the train with glowed off the white cement walls. Then the train slowed and stopped right in the middle of the tunnel. Jimin stepped over the side and walked to the caboose.

"What are you doing?" I whispered.

"What did I say about magic?"

"Okay, I'm waiting to experience it."

He fiddled with something in the caboose and a bright blue light cut a path through the air above my head. I turned back toward the front, where I saw the light projected onto a sheet that was hanging from the far opening of the tunnel. I hadn't seen that sheet there before. Had we not stopped, we would've gone right through it. 

"Are we going to watch a movie?" I asked.

"Maybe."

We had a projector at the zoo that was sometimes set up in the amphitheater. It showed educational movies. "About animals?" I asked.

"I guess you could call him a kind of animal . . . from a different planet."

"What?"

Jimin reached into the bag he'd brought and pulled out the biggest box of Reese's Pieces I'd ever seen. "E.T."

I laughed. "You are perfect."

He blushed a little and climbed back into the front car, me still in the car behind me. The cars were small--kid-sized. They had two seats in each one, facing each other. So in order to watch the movie and both be facing the screen, we had to be in separate cars, but I so wanted to be in the same one as him. I wished we could sit side by side. He must've been thinking the same thing because he tipped his head back. 

"I really didn't think this through," he said. 

I reached forward and playfully swatted his shoulders. 

The movie came onto the screen. I arranged the pillows and blankets in my own private car and got comfortable--I felt like I was in my cocoon in my room. This was by far the coolest way I'd ever watched a movie. 

The movie was old, but charming. And E.T. was adorable. But with Jimin in front of me, it was hard to pay attention. I was aware of every movement of his body down to the way he breathed. The movie was not even halfway over before I knew that if I was given a quiz on it when it ended, I'd fail miserably. 

Jimin turned slightly and said, "My grandma told me that if we watched a movie together, I could put my arm around you. I think my grandma might be smarter than me. She wouldn't have set this up in a train no matter how magical."

I put my foot up on the side, closer to him. Even if it was only my foot, I, too, felt the need for the distance between us be minimized. "Does your grandma live with you?"

"Yes. She and my grandpa. It's a multigenerational household. I know that's weird."

"That's not weird. I don't know why families don't do that more here. I think it benefits everyone involved. It obviously made you awesome."

"This is true. Plus, it saves money, for those of us worried about that."

The mention of money made my insides twist. "Which is a lot of people. How is that going, anyway? Have you heard back from any scholarship applications?"

"Yes."

"Really? That's great."

"I've only heard from the no group so far."

"Oh. That's not great. I'm sorry."

"No, it's fine. Let's not talk about money, it's my least favorite subject."

"Mine too."

"Yeah, I'd imagine," he said.

His  statement confused me. I thought about asking him to clarify, but we were already treading on my least favorite ground. We both went quiet and turned our attention back to the movie. After a few more minutes, he reached over and rested his hand on my ankle. Every nerve in my leg lit up. I tried to control my breathing so it wouldn't echo in the tunnel during the quiet parts of the movie.

"Oh, screw this," Jimin said, and stood, startling me. "I'm coming back there." He stepped across the back of his car into mine. "Can I fit?" he asked.

"What if I put some pillows on the floor of the car between the seats, then you can sit on them?"

He nodded and I moved some pillows. I had wanted him closer but this was almost too close. By the time we settled into our places, he was on the ground, between my knees, his arms resting over either of my legs, his head leaning back against me. I was sure he could feel my heart pounding against the back of his head. I was surprised he could hear anything over its beating. Was I supposed to still watch this movie?

"This is worse, isn't it?" he asked quietly.

I gave a breathy laugh.

"Are you into this movie?"

"I stopped paying attention after the first Reese's Pieces reference."

He turned around and looked at me. The light from the projector lit his face, his eyes. Those eyes seemed to be asking me a question and I wasn't sure what it was, but my entire being was saying yes. I needed him closer. I reached forward but before my hands made contact with him, his were on my shoulders, pulling me toward him. Our lips collided. I gasped. His body pressed against mine, his arms wrapping tightly around my waist, stealing my breath. Our lips moved together and everything felt right. Jimin was made to kiss me forever. I could live in this moment forever. 

I threaded my fingers into his hair, deepening the kiss. The music from the movie rose in a crescendo around us, and I couldn't help but smile. 

"Yes, I can see how magic needs to be experienced and not explained," I said against his lips.

He laughed and pulled away, sitting back on his heels.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"Sorry, it's hard to kiss you when I'm laughing."

"Thanks for this, Jimin. For all of it. You really do know how to right a wrong."

He smiled. "Can I admit something?"

"Of course."

"That was just my excuse to take you out."

I fake gasped. "What? You're kidding."

"I know. It's shocking. I shouldn't have lied to you." The sparkle in his eyes alway lit up when he teased me.

 But a pit was forming in my stomach. I had been lying to him. Really lying to him. Not some stupid excuse that we both knew wasn't true, but a serious lie. I needed to tell him before this went any further. 

He brought my hand to his lips and kissed the back of it. Tingles went up my arm. 

"As if my silly night could trump your experiences lately, anyway."

"I need to . . . Wait . . . What?" My experiences lately? What did that mean? My mind raced back to what he'd said earlier when I said money was my least favorite topic: Yeah, I'd imagine. And earlier he'd said for those of us worried about it. Meaning, he knew I wasn't worried about money. And when talking about college, he'd also implied I could just jump on an airplane whenever I wanted. I just thought he was saying it could be closer if I needed it to be, to comfort me, but he meant that literally. Even the other day when we had talked about lightning trikes he'd said something odd about me not testing my luck. And now, he was saying this. He knew. Dread poured down my body, drowning every good feeling from before. 

"You know," I said. 

The light from the projector lit the tips of his hair. "Know what?"

"Jimin, you know what I'm talking about."

His eyes went down to our linked hands, then back up to my eyes. I untangled my hand from his and pulled a pillow to my chest, as if that would keep my heart safe. Everything was about to change. 

"You weren't saying anything, so I thought it made you uncomfortable," Jimin said at last, his voice quiet. "You were still the same Suzy to me."

I nodded slowly. He knew and I was still the same Suzy to him. This was a good thing, right? Not a bad one. He knew and he still liked me. We didn't have to have any more secrets. I let the pillow drop. The bottom of his T-shirt was brushing along my knee so I tugged on it a little. 

He moved an inch closer. "I figured you were tired of talking about money. I'm sure it's all you talk about anymore with people. And then I was burdening you with my family money issues and college drama. I guess I just figured you'd talk about the whole lottery thing when you wanted to." He looked down at my finger that had a section of his T-shirt wrapped around it. "We're good, right?" He kissed one of my cheeks, then the other.

The tension in my body was slowly draining when his words caught up to me. Family money issues. College drama. I let go of his shirt. "You need money."

"What?"

"You need money. For college."

"Yes. I do."

"And you want it from me."

"Yes,I-Wait, . . . No!" He sat up on the edge of the car, taking one of my hands with him. 

"How much do you need?" I was tired. I was tired of my friends all wanting something from me. Of strangers wanting things from me. Of family wanting things from me. Maybe if everyone was just up-front about it, I wouldn't be so tired. 

"I don't want your money, Suzy."

I tugged my hand free. "Don't you? You've been talking about how you can't afford to go to college for weeks now. Setting the stage. Now is the time you go in for the kill, right?"

His mouth opened, then shut. "I'm not allowed to talk to you about my problems?"

"I didn't hear anything about these problems before I won the lottery."

"That's because we didn't know each other very well." 

I stood up, the pillows falling to the floor between us. "Isn't that convenient for you?" I climbed over the side of the car and made my way along the tracks toward the Farm. The farther I got away from the train, the darker it became. I tripped several times, unable to see clearly. I was halfway back to the zoo entrance when it occurred to me that I had no car. 

I pulled out my phone and dialed. "Sangmoon," I said when he answered.

"Yes?"

"Come get me. I'm at the zoo." Then I hung up. 

"Suzy," Jimin called from behind me. "Will you just stop and listen for a second?"

I whirled around. "How long have you known?"

"My mom saw you on the news. She was so excited about a local teenager winning that she recorded it and asked if I knew you."

"So you knew the whole time?"

"Why does that change anything?"

"Here's the thing. Maybe you're telling the truth about it not changing anything. Maybe you're lying. I have no way of knowing. My own uncle swindled me out of half a million dollars. My best friends sold me out to a reporter for a few bucks . . . or maybe you did."

"What? No. Of course I didn't."

"People are only my friends because of what I can do for them. I have no idea who to trust anymore."

He took me by the shoulders and looked into my eyes. "Trust me. Trust this." He kissed me. My body instantly reacted to him even though my brain was all over the place. I leaned in, answered back. Then just as quickly, I pushed away and ran.