I promised myself I wouldn't cry. I needed to be strong and show them that what they'd done hadn't broken me, but there I was, pacing in front of a couch full of people, tears streaming down my face. My parents had vanished to the far corners of the hose when everyone arrived. Despite my friends' reservations about her, I had invited Jennie as well. I just wanted to get this out once and not have to repeat it. 

I stopped pacing and faced Jennie, Jisoo, and Irene, tears and all. "One of you talked to a reporter recently and I just want to know who it was."

I had pulled the article up on my laptop before they'd come, and I placed my computer on the coffee table in front of them now. They all leaned forward as one to read it. While they did I managed to get my emotions under control. As each of them finished, they same away with disgusted expressions.

Jennie spoke first, looking at her hands. "A reporter did call. She asked if I knew you and what we'd done together."

I sighed and wiped at my cheeks. Jisoo was right about Jennie? she'd be happy about this. "So you told her I didn't tip the valet driver?" I demanded. 

"What? No. I told her we went shopping in a rich neighborhood."

"You didn't tell her about the valet guy?"

"No, why would I do that?"

I clenched my fists, my nails biting into my palms. "I don't know. Why does anyone do anything? I don't know the answer to that question anymore. I thought I did once, but not anymore."

"I talked to a reporter, too," Irene said.

My head whipped in her direction. "What? You did?"

"I didn't think it would turn out like this. I told her all sorts of good things. I told her you bought pizza for us. I thought that would help her see how generous you always are. I thought she was writing a good article about you. About us."

"Us?" I asked.

"All your friends."

"You mean, you, don't you, Irene?" Jisoo asked. "You wanted to be in an article."

"It's not like that."

"What is it like, then?" Jisoo asked. 

Irene wiped at her eyes because she had started crying. "You guys all have your things. All of you. You're both super smart," she said pointing to Jisoo and me. "And for years I've tried to keep up with that. With the fact that my best friends both have everything together. And then you get another thing, Suzy? You get to be rich and famous now?" Irene was breathing hard and she stopped and shook her head over and over, then pointed at the computer. "I didn't mean for that to happen. I really thought she was going to write a nice article."

Jisoo rolled her eyes at Irene. "Well, it didn't turn out that way."

I stared at Irene, speechless. 

"It that this happened, Suzy," Jisoo said. "That's really awful, but people who really know you aren't going to think twice about what that article said. The only thing this will do is weed out the losers." Jisoo looked at Jennie with this comment and I wondered if we were going to have a war of words between them now.

I spoke before either of them could. "I wasn't worried so much about people reading it as I was about who'd told the reporter about this. But now I know." I shot a disbelieving glance at Irene. "What I'm more worried about now is this." I handed Jisoo my letter from Busan University. 

She took the paper and unfolded it. Everyone watched on in silence. 

"Oh no," she said when she was done. "Do you think they read the article?"

"You mean . . ." There was something else I suspected. Something I didn't want to be true. But given how obsessed Jisoo was with me going to Seoul University, I thought it could be. "You didn't send them the article?"

She flew to her feet. "What? No! Of course I didn't."

I wanted to cry again. Because I wasn't sure if I believed her. After all, Irene had unwittingly sold me out. 

I hated that I had become an untrusting person. It wasn't me.

Jisoo took my hand and looked me in the eyes. "Suzy, I alway thought that you were choosing Busan University because it was the safe choice. The choice you made for your family. I think in your heart of hearts you want to go to Seoul University. But I would never take that decision away from you. It has always been yours to make. You have to believe me."

Jisoo dropped my hand and sank back onto the couch. 

My head was spinning and I didn't know how to process this new info. I just needed to think.

"I need you all to leave," I finally said. "Now."

Irene whispered a quick apology to me, then darted outside without looking back.

"Jennie?" I said, stopping her as she was walking to the door. 

"Yeah?"

"Did your dad give you money when I bought that car?"

"What?" Her eyes went wide. "No. Why?"

"No reason."

"What is it?" she asked. "Tell me. Did something happen with the car?"

I didn't need to tell her if she wasn't involved. The only thing that would do was create bad feelings between her and her dad. "Nothing, I just wanted to make sure you weren't using me."

"I promise I wasn't. I really like you. Remember that day we ran into each other at school and your phone broke and I had soda down the front of my shirt?"

"Yes, of course I remember."

"You were so funny that day. You spouted off some facts about texting and walking that made me laugh and I thought to myself, That girl knows who she is."

"Thanks, Jennie." I glanced at Jisoo, whose eyes went to the floor. 

Jennie squeezed my hand and left. Jisoo stood from the couch. She rounded the coffee table now and came toward the door I was still holding open. She gently shut it without exiting. 

"I'm sorry this all happened. Do you want me to stay? Help talk you through it?"

I leaned my back against the door. "I feel myself shutting off my emotions, Jisoo. I don't know that I'll ever be able to trust anyone again. Sometimes I feel like my own family is playing me."

"We all knew you and loved you before you had money. Apparently even Jennie. Can't you trust that?"

"So I'll never be able to make new friends?"

"Of course you will, you just need to trust your gut and your heart."

"They've both been steering me wrong for the last couple months."

"Have they?" She took my hand. "Jennie seemed pretty cool today. She was the first to admit to a wrong. That says a lot."

"Her dad made a lot of money off of me."

"It sounds like she had no idea."

"Do you think she was telling the truth?"

"I do. This is your new reality, Suzy. I guess you can call it the price you'll have to pay for the huge blessing you received. I'd say when all is said and done, when you learn how to navigate this, you'll see that your life can be anything you want it to be."

I smiled a little. "You mean winning the lottery didn't ruin my life? I sound like such a baby when I put it that way."

She laughed. "I get it. Your whole life has changed in a short amount of time. You have to except some growing pains from that."

"When did you get so smart?" I asked.

"I was always one percent smarter than you. I think I just used it all up in this display of genius, though."

I hugged her. "I love you, friend."

"Love you, too." She squeezed me tight. "I'm sorry for being pushy about Seoul University that you thought I would betray you."

"It's okay."

"Email Busan University. Tell them who you really are. They'll love you."

I nodded slowly. "I was a total jerk to Zoo Jimin yesterday."

"Uh-oh. What happened?"

"I accused him of using me for my money."

"Why did you do that?"

"Because I turned paranoid. And he needs money for school. And he kissed me."

We had been having this whole conversation standing by the door,  but when I said that, Jisoo marched back to the couch and sat down expectantly. "Talk."

"It's really not that long of a story."

"I knew you liked him."

"I did . . . I do. I'm sorry I broke our pact."

She waved her hand through the air. "Please. I don't care about that. I just want you to be happy."

"I ruined it. I thought he only pretended to like me so I'd pay for his college." I joined her on the couch.

"And do you still think that?"

"Yes . . ." I sighed. "No. Probably not. I have trust issues now. It's not cool."

"If the boy is smart, he'll understand your paranoia. If the boy is smart, he is in love with you."

"I might be more drama than I'm worth. He hasn't even texted me."

"You didn't see him this morning at the zoo?"

"I didn't go to the zoo this morning. Maybe I should buy him a-"

"You are not going to buy him anything," she interrupted me. "You don't need to buy people's affection. You have to stop thinking like that."

"I know."

"Do you want to win him back or not?"

I thought back to the night of my birthday, in the parking lot where he handed me a stupid little bag of candy. He didn't know about the lottery win that night. I didn't even know about the lottery win that night. But that was the night that something sparked between us. Jisoo was right--I had to trust my heart. It was the only way to live. And my heart wanted Jimin. 

"Yes. I think so."

"Well, you better figure it out."

☘ 𝔏𝔬𝔱𝔱𝔬 𝔏𝔬𝔳𝔢 ☘

I sat in my room, staring at the email I'd composed to a Busan University admissions counselor. I listened to the background noise of my parents fighting. My parents had issues that money couldn't fix. That I couldn't fix. My brother did, too. He needed to work things out on his own this time. It was the only way he'd learn. It had taken me a long time to accept the fact, but now I did.

I read the words I'd written again. They were good words. Persuasive words. 

The penny from Jimin sat on my desk next to my computer and I ran a finger over the face of Abraham Lincoln. Jimin had said something when I picked this penny up that was replaying in my head. We make our own luck. I believed that, too. We chose our own fate. We controlled our own future. I knew what I wanted. I needed to go get it.

I deleted my email.