“Can’t you spend the night?” Heejun sighed into your ear, his arms looped around your waist as you skimmed through text messages. “Your dorm flooding seems like an excellent excuse to me. Stay with me.”

His voice made you shiver. You wanted to stay with him, but a part of you was scared of what that might mean. Heejun’s apartment had only one bedroom, and that bedroom had one four poster double bed. With curtains. It’d been only… Your train of thought slowed down to calculate. You’d known him for a little over two, and you’d been dating for two weeks. Twelve days. Mina was right when she said things were moving fast, as was Yuna. Then again, these days people did move fast, didn’t they?

“I have to rescue my books.” You made a face at him, conveniently leaving out that the flooding happened on the first floor, and you lived on the third floor of the dorm. The squinting of his eyes told you that he knew you were hiding something. He was uncannily good at knowing things like that.

“You’re worried about what your friends might think about you sleeping over at my place. That or you don’t have your things ready and it feels like a waste of money to run out and buy a toothbrush. Which one of the two is it? You can’t possibly think I have anything other than noble intentions in keeping you here, right?” He gave you a wink along with another squeeze. Caught.

“I’m not really worried about what my friends think. Not anymore, anyway.” You sighed, leaning back against him. Why was it that he was so comfortable? Heejun welcomed the gesture, turning slightly to let you lean on his chest. Very faintly, you could feel his heart beating against your back. Was it getting louder? Or was it just because you were paying attention to it? “It’s strange… I didn’t think I could grow so fond of someone so easily. It’s a little scary.”

“Are you scared of me?” His lips touched your ear as he spoke. Scared of him. You considered it for a moment. Heejun? The man who nearly fainted after talking back to a drunk homeless man? The man who sang Disney songs like his life depended on it? You fidgeted with your fingers before turning as well as you could to look him in the eyes.

“No, I’m not. But I really don’t have any… experience with this. I’ve had one boyfriend before you and that ended before we could came to that stage… I really like you, but I’m not ready for that kind of stuff.”

You didn’t feel yourself being pulled against him until your face was already resting against his shoulder. His fingers through your hair slowly, yet tense. His chest heaved as he drew breath, and you heard his heart beating again. You reached for it, tentatively letting your hand rest on the spot closest to his heart. His hand stopped, and you heard him say your name.

“Thank you for telling me. I wish I could tell you in all honesty that I’m not stupid enough to do anything that could push you away from me, but… You make me feel things that I didn’t know I could feel more intensely than I thought I could feel anything. That’s not your fault, but it does affect me. I promise I won’t push you for anything. What we have right now is already unimaginably delightful to me, and it’s more than enough.” His fingers stopped at the back of your neck, briefly rubbing over the spot. In a way you could understand Heejun. Everything just seemed to make sense, but it was just so fast. If it was all really meant to be, then surely… It would still be that way in the future, when you were ready. Right?

“You can push for kisses if you want.”

“Score one for poetry.”

“Dork.”

“Your dork.”

“My silly dork.” You smiled up at him. Your eyes had gotten used enough to the dark that you could see the gleam of pride in his eyes. Your heart seemed to swell in your chest, and you felt warm. What a beautiful human. Once again you wondered how you did get so lucky.

For a while you just lied there, resting against him, your eyes locked, Heejun humming a familiar tune. It was quite peaceful after the fervour of kisses had passed, and this fingers winding in your hair made your scalp tingle in a pleasant way. In spite of yourself, it felt as if you were starting to fall asleep. Even though you weren’t tired. He was just that comfortable. Eventually, though, all good things must come to an end.

At first Heejun ignored his ringing phone, rejecting the call before checking who was calling him, but the device immediately rang again. You sat up and Heejun groaned as he peeked at the number. Then he answered with a sigh, reaching for your hand and holding on to it as he spoke.

“What do you want? I’m busy being happy.”

The person on the other end of the line must have been speaking rather quietly as you barely heard the voice and couldn’t make out what was being said. Heejun’s frown gave the indication it wasn’t good news. Half a second later, his response confirmed that your time together had come to an end for the day.

“I thought I had today off. Why is that different?” His hand gripped yours tighter, preventing you from getting up to get ready. ‘Don’t leave’, he mouthed at you. You shook your head as you now heard Inseong’s voice coming from the phone more clearly.

“… Already on his way… Not happy… If she’s still there… Trouble.” Someone was on his way to pick Heejun up for a shift, and they wouldn’t be happy to find you in his apartment if you were still there when they arrived? You mouthed it as a question. Heejun shook his head, even though the answer was clearly ‘yes’.

“Well he can go…” Heejun paused, looking at you before sighing. “Fine, I’ll call him. He can’t come in, he’s not welcome in my home.” With those words he hung up and pouted at you.

“It’s alright. You’ve got responsibilities.” You tried, petting his cheek in an attempt to comfort him. Heejun caught your hand and held it against his face, turning to kiss it briefly without breaking eye contact.

“You’re the only responsibility that matters to me.”

“Then you should go to work. Set a good example for me, okay? I don’t want you to get in trouble because of me, you’re too important.” You your thumb along his cheekbone. Heejun sighed deeply and dramatically, as if his world was about to come to an end, and let go of your hand after kissing it a last time.

“But I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll spend the weekend. We can test out how it works.” You offered, reaching to squeeze his knee. Heejun’s face lit up.

“I’ll make sure everything’s ready. Let me walk you to the bus at least.” He was already on his feet. You followed suit, then paused.

“Didn’t you say you were going to call someone back? I think you should probably do that. I’ll find my way to the bus stop.” Why did you have to think out loud like that? You really resented the way words carelessly made their way from your mouth sometimes. Heejun squeezed your hands, but to your surprise nodded.

“I guess I did say that. And I should. I like my friends, but I don’t want them in my apartment. This place should just be for you and me. I’ll catch up with you at the bus stop!”

Saying goodbye . You managed to pull yourself away from him, it helped that he had to put some attention to his phone, and waved at him before stepping out. Though not before Heejun pressed a kiss to your cheek. You smiled, but then you were outside his apartment again. It was dark. You took the stairs in favour of the elevator, as it was already traveling, and eventually found your way to the entrance. There, a surprise awaited you.

 

“Let’s have a little chat.” You recognized his face, though his name escaped you. He was one of the hosts of the café, the only one you hadn’t interacted with. He raised himself up from the wall he’d been leaning on. There wasn’t really anything intimidating about him. He had a face that might look friendly if he were to smile, but he wasn’t smiling.

“Heejun said he’d be at work soon…-”

“Good, but that’s not what I’m here for. Walk with me.” It didn’t sound like a question. You buried your hands in your pockets and followed him as he walked. His strides were longer than yours, and you had to walk at the uncomfortable pace between walking and jogging to keep up with him.

“What do you want from me?” You asked, trying not to sound as frustrated as you felt. “Not to be rude, but I don’t think we know each other.”

“Indeed we don’t.” He turned a corner and strode on. You followed him but kept an eye on the apartment complex. Heejun’s window had disappeared from your line of sight. You almost bumped into Heejun’s colleague as he stopped walking, though he didn’t even flinch. You were standing next to a bus stop. The screen counted down to the next bus. Three more minutes until your line would pass by.

“Since we don’t know each other, I’ll be brief with you. It would be in your best interest to break up with Heejun. The sooner you do, the more likely you’ll be able to get away unscathed.” The words came out cold.

“What do you mean ‘unscathed’?”

“Alive. Heejun will be the death of you if you let him. He’s already sunken his claws quite deeply into you.” The man sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “He’s my friend, I like him well enough. I wouldn’t be telling you this if it weren’t true.”

“People really think Heejun and I don’t match, do they?” You scoffed, leaning against the bus stop. “He doesn’t move as fast as everyone seems to think he does. Is it that I’m not good enough for him?”

“You’re perfect for him.” It sounded more like a threat than a compliment. The viciousness of his voice made you tremble. “You are exactly the kind of snack he would snap up and eat alive. A naïve, innocent little bird who’s venturing out of her cage for the first time ever. Heejun is a tiger, little bird. I’m trying to save you a world of pain.”

Two minutes until the bus would arrive. Your hands balled into fists in your pockets. The man seemed to have noticed, though he didn’t look particularly impressed. He pulled his hands free from his pockets and peeled off his gloves, placing them on your shoulder. You wanted to shrug them off, but you were alone with him. He was already hostile, who knows how things would escalate if you let your anger get the better of you.

“I’ve known Heejun longer than you’ve been alive, little bird. I believe that he really likes you. He’s probably already convinced himself that he’s in love with you and is figuring out what the best moment would be to tell you. I want to give you a fighting chance to get away from him before it’s too late.” He sounded tired. Longer than you’d been alive? Were they siblings? Heejun never really detailed his relationship to the other hosts, just that they were friends.

“What’s your name?”

“Will you consider what I’m telling you if I give you my name?”

“More than I would consider it from a nameless stranger.”

“Too late, aren’t I?” He sighed, eyeing you. “My name is Jihun. It’s also on my nametag when I’m working, but you’ve been distracted so I’ll forgive you for not noticing.” It didn’t sound like he had forgiven you for that but you’d take any semblance of kindness at this point.

“You said he’s your friend, and that you like him. You said I’m perfect for him. And yet you’re telling me to get away from him. What am I missing, Jihun? If I make him happy, why do you want me to leave him?” You asked, trying to sound patient.

“You’re missing the part where I’m concerned for your wellbeing. You make him very happy, but I know that in the end he won’t make you happy. And I know that the longer you stick around, the tougher it’ll be in the end.”

One minute left on the clock. You bit your lip. It didn’t make sense. And yet you were still listening. Jihun seemed to have somehow captured the things a lot of people observed about Heejun, but couldn’t quite find the words to express. Jihun was Heejun’s friend, and even he was telling you it wouldn’t work between the two of you.

“Is he a bad person?” You asked with a sigh. Jihun answered your sigh in kind, shaking his head. He seemed more tired than frustrated.

“He’s no worse than the rest of us, but he’s brash and juvenile and impulsive and irresponsible. He’ll drain all of your energy, being convinced that he really cares for you. I’m sure he does care, but it’ll leave you broken in the end. You seem nice, little bird. And I want you to fly free into the world without having your wings clipped. No matter how gentle he may appear, tigers don’t make for good bird owners. And wear the gloves, you’ll catch a cold.” He raised his hand, giving you a wave before turning and walking off into the darkness. You thought about chasing him, but the headlights of the bus appeared right around the corner. What a jerk.

The gloves were too large for your hands, and you were too resentful to wear them even though you were cold, so you tucked them in your pockets before boarding the bus. You tried to find Heejun’s apartment as you passed by the building, but it was already too dark and the lights were off. Heejun probably went out to work already. You sighed and leaned back in your chair, staring at the list of stops. It was going to be a long ride home.