A/N: Apologies for the long hiatus. I hope every one of you is doing well. 

“What’s a date with Jennie Kim like?” Jennie Kim mused out loud.

“Not bad, but not good,” Kim Jisoo replied with a smirk, before downing her third bottle of banana milk.

“You better be talking about that uyu,” the rapper threatened.

Her best friend looked wildly offended. “How dare you! This uyu is refreshing, nutritious, wholesome, and has a subtle and delightful flavour that’s reminiscent of the times we had yet to evolve into the anxiously violent species we are now, and we lived carefree, unencumbered lives, swinging from tree to tree in a tropical paradise, before such a lifestyle carried the colonial and hedonistic associations that Gauguin attached.”

“The... what???”

“Read a book sometimes!”

“Are you smoking something?”

“Just high on banana milk,” Jisoo said cheerfully. “This uyu is the pinnacle of Korean ingenuity, and represents the impossible triumph of the enduring and indomitable human spirit in the face of adversity.”

“What the hell are you even talking about?! It’s freaking milk, and I’m here trying to brainstorm date ideas, and you’re not being helpful at all,” the younger pouted.

“Aren’t you notoriously a Netflix and chill kind of girl?” Jisoo teased.

“Unnie, c’mon, Rosie deserves to be taken on an extra special, mind-blowingly awesome date like... driving Vespas through the Italian countryside, or snorkelling in the Great Barrier Reef, or taking a space shuttle to the moon to watch the Earth from afar or...”

“Zombie apocalypse themed Laser tag?” Jisoo offered.

Jennie shot her friend a dirty look. “That’s a date with Kim Jisoo. You’re not helping.”

“I would totally date Kim Jisoo,” Jisoo sighed dreamily. “You’re overthinking this, Mandu. Chaeng doesn’t even need to be impressed. She just wants to spend time with you.”

“Well, I know that, but I still want to show her how much she means to me. I need to pull out all the stops,” Jennie frowned. She didn’t feel like her goofy compatriot understood how important this was to her.

“If it’s anything like ‘pull my finger’, I’m pretty sure Chaeyoung wouldn’t mind if you maybe left a stop or two unpulled.”

“What are you even talking about?”

“I don’t know. I just felt like that was a cool thing to say. But really, Jendeuk, you know Chaeng isn’t high maintenance. You could make her some ramyeon, go for a walk in the park, have a nice conversation, and that girl would have the best time. You’re the high maintenance one.”

“I am not,” Jennie glared. “I don’t need anything from Rosie except a little bit of attention and to make her happy.”

Jisoo snorted with amusement. “Uh huh, sure.”

“I mean, if she wants to buy me nice things and shower me with attention and affection, I wouldn’t stop her, but that’s not even the issue here. I just want our first date to be memorable, y’know?”

Jisoo suddenly lit up with a crazy look, and Jennie automatically shut her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration. “Don’t, Chu. Please.”

“Don’tchu what? Don’tchu wish your girlfriend was hot like me?” Jisoo sang as she chortled happily.

“I know you’re gonna give me some weirdass suggestion like golf but with eggs or something.”

Jisoo looked disappointed. “They could be hardboiled eggs?”

“Just please stop.”

*

The next few days came and went with Chaennie busy as usual, but this time, they both made sure to call each other, send text messages, and spend as many mealtimes and breaks together, even if it was only a half hour lunch, or two minutes of chugging water while the other looked on, goofily lovesick, and before they knew it, it was Friday, the day of their much anticipated date.

“I’ve been so excited for Friday. It feels like I’ve been waiting months and months for this day to come, like some puppet master is actually in control of my existence, and they just left my life on pause to deal with their own issues or something,” Rosé told her best friend as she was getting ready.

“That’s… really not relatable, Rosie,” Lisa muttered absentmindedly while typing away on her laptop. “I am the master of my fate. I am the captain of my ships.”

“Um… I don’t think that’s how the poem goes…”

“What poem? I’m talking about fanfiction. I’m currently documenting your dating life and disguising it as a Chaennie story. Hiding the truth in plain sight! No one will ever suspect it!”

The Aussie rolled her eyes in dismissal of her friend’s ridiculous hijinks. “Anyway, I’m super excited but also terrified.”

“Ah yes, excitement and terror, the Jennie Kim one-two punch,” Lisa replied as she combed her bangs, then paused and looked at the blonde seriously. “She doesn’t actually punch you, does she? ‘Cause I don’t care if she drives a tank, I will cut a .”

Rosé stuck out her tongue at the maknae. “You don’t need to protect me from Jennie. She’s so tiny I can pick her up and stick her in my pocket.”

A mischievous look spread over Lisa’s face, or an even more mischievous look than the one she perpetually had. “Does she vibrate too? Is that why you’re dating her?”

“Omg, Lisa!” Rosé gave her a full strength swat to the arm.

“Just sayin’ you’d save a heck of a lot of money on batteries, and unnie would no longer need to do Pilates,” Lisa quipped, trying to maintain her composure, but winced in pain when the blonde wasn’t looking.

Rosé looked absolutely aghast at her friend. “Batteries, Lisa? What are you, an ahjumma? Wireless charging all the way, baby,” she said impishly to the shrieks and giggles of the maknae, who pounced on her and attacked her sides with tickles.

“Omg, Rosie, you’re all grown up, I’m gonna cry.”

Rosé flung her best friend off her. “You’re a . I’ve dated before.”

“Who? That kid in Australia who taught you how to play the guitar, but was really trying to cop a feel, and whom you ended up elbowing in the face? James?” Lisa scoffed, her voice dripping with disdain and disapproval.

“I love how you feel like I need a recap of my life, and I’ll have you know that he was my first love,” Rosé sighed dreamily.

“Ohboy, what a sheltered life you’ve led. Unnie's gonna need to really hold you down and give it to you hard just to the dorkiness out of you.”

The blonde glared at her friend, and Lisa knew this meant Rosé was drawing the line, and ending any further discussion of her life.

*

When Rosé opened her bedroom door, a tiny, terrifying, smiling human, swathed in Chanel, was standing outside it.

“Jesus Christ! You gave me a heart attack! Have you just been standing there this whole time?”

“She wanted to listen to you be ,” Jisoo teased from down the hall.

Jennie glared in the direction of her best friend’s room. “I was just waiting for the perfect moment to knock…”

“Am I dressed okay for where we’re going?” Rosé interrupted nervously, feeling self-conscious in her tasteful but understated YSL.

 “You’re dressed perfectly for your paintball date!” Jisoo crowed again, laughing evilly.

“We… is she lying to me?” the Australian asked confusedly. Jisoo could be an incorrigible mischief-maker, but who even really knew how Jennie’s mind worked.

“You’re breathtakingly beautiful. You look perfect,” Jennie said, and from the way she said it, Rosé had absolutely no reason to doubt that she meant it. The brunette was practically hiccupping little red cartoon hearts.

“Don’t try anything funny, and have her back by ten, or Mason and I will come after you and your puppies,” Lisa announced, emerging from the room, throwing her arm around the blonde.

“You try anything funny and I’ll feed your cats to Rosie’s fish,” Jennie shot back threateningly.

Lisa scowled. “You never let me have any fun. I just wanted to be protective of my best buddy here, but seriously I love you guys,” the maknae said, starting to tear up. “Be good, okay? But if you can’t be good, be safe,” she added with a wink.

“And if you can’t be safe, name it Jisoo!” they heard from down the hall.

“You dimwits never paid attention in Biology class, did you?” Rosé said, reddening at the teasing nonetheless.

“Love will find a way, Chongah,” Lisa proclaimed in singsong, while making rude ing gestures with her fingers.

“I hear turkey basters work wonders!” Jisoo called from her room.

Jennie rolled her eyes and took the blonde’s hand. “Shall w