“So what’s the game plan?” Jisoo asked, after spitting out a mouthful of Jennie’s hair that had invaded her personal space. 

“Jisoo, it’s Saturday morning, and we don’t have anything scheduled. What do you even want from me? Please just let me sleep,” the other brunette replied cantankerously. 

Jisoo reddened in anger and glared at Jennie, who was currently coiled around her like a boa constrictor. “You crawled into my bed, and kicked Dalgomie out of the room at 7 am like an annoying, giant rodent! Now, you’re  hugging me tight enough to cut my circulation, and YOUUUU are asking me to leave you alone???” Jisoo yelled incredulously.

Jennie flashed her a sheepishly gummy smile. “Shhhh you’ll wake everyone up. I’m just pretending that you’re Chaeyoungie, okay? Don’t be mad, you know you love me.”

“Goddamnit, Jendeukie,” Jisoo huffed exasperatedly. “I wasn’t even complaining, I was just asking about Chaeyoung. You’re the one being a moody . Jesus Christ, I swear the day you get a girlfriend and stop bothering me will be the happiest day of my life.”

Jennie pouted a little. “What about Chaeng did you want to talk about?” she asked innocently.

“Uhhh... how’s it going with her? When are you confessing to her? How are you confessing to her? What’s the game plan?” Jisoo replied like she was talking to an idiot.

“Ohhhhh, that game plan. Yeah, I don’t know. She’s been weird since the little screening we had.”

“Weird how?”

“Like, we used to be... I don’t know, snugglier? Now she won’t touch me, she barely even looks at me.”

“She’s creeped out because she found out you’re a dirty, old man,” Jisoo snickered. 

Jennie frowned. “It’s not funny. I feel terrible for being a skeeze. Also, I miss her.” 

Jisoo laughed. “Aww, you should never apologize for being an ethical skeeze. And don’t worry about Chaeng. I’m not sure why she’s being distant, but I know she doesn’t hate you because you’re a dirty dog. It’s not like our Chaeyoungie to be judgemental.”

“I don’t know, unnie, I don’t know if I want to confess to her now, like why the hell would I even do that?”

“Well, aren’t you in love with her?”

“Shhhhh the walls have ears!” Jennie hissed.

“And the hills have eyes, what’s your point?”

“I can’t tell Rosie I love her! Doesn’t she go to church?”

“Uh huh... and as queen of the damned, does that offend you?”

Jennie glared. “No, I mean, wouldn’t she freak out about the gay implications of me liking her?”

Jisoo paused thoughtfully. “People who go to church freak out about that?”

Jennie shrugged. “I don’t know. A lot of people are still not pro homo.” 

“Yeah, but Chaeyoung? That girl could not hurt a fly, let alone commit a hate crime. And she actually hates flies.” 

Jennie looked uneasy. “Sure, but... I’d be barking up the wrong tree. I mean, she’s not gay... that we know of, at least.”

“When has that ever stopped you? Hell, I’ve watched you hit on gay men.”

Jennie shrugged. “I have a weakness for attractive people, okay? I’m not picky. They just have to be super good-looking.”

“Oh sure, yeah, not picky at all,” Jisoo said, rolling her eyes at her absurd friend. “So why are you hesitating with Chaeyoungie? You’re already one of her most favourite people. Is Jennie Kim scared of rejection???”

“No! Maybe... I mean, it’s Rosie. She’s... she’s our Chaeyoung, and she’s...” Jennie took a deep breath. “She’s perfect.” 

Jisoo snorted with laughter. “Girl, you have it bad. I mean, Chaeng is great, but so are you... kind of.”

“Oh you, I am a ing catch. I’m pretty, I’m rich, I work at YG,” Jennie snapped. “But Rosie... does she even date?”

“I think she takes that dating ban pretty seriously.”

“She takes everything seriously,” Jennie pointed out dryly.

“And therein lies your problem. Okay, I gotcha.”

“What do I do?” the younger brunette asked mournfully.

“Don’t fret, Mandu. You just need to bring out her more uh... adventurous side. Y’know, get her to try new things and take a chance on you.”

Jennie wrinkled her nose. “How do I do that? I can’t exactly picture her wanting to try robbing banks or uh... what else is adventurous? Shoplifting?”

“Skipping church?”

“Yeah, Rosie’s not really one to push boundaries.”

“I mean, if you want her inhibitions down, there’s a pretty obvious substance that’ll lower her defences...” Jisoo said slowly.

“Omg, I’m not gonna roofie Chaeyoung!” Jennie yelled.

“Alcohol, pabo! I meant get her drunk!”

“Oh... that’s slightly less nefarious...”

“Yeah, sorry to dash your date dreams. I mean, it would be super nefarious if you plan on taking advantage of Chaeng, but if you’re just trying to get to loosen up so she can warm up to you, it’s only slightly nefarious, and therefore why I suggested it.”

“Okay, well, we don’t have any alcohol in the dorm...” Jennie started to say before they both broke out into a fit of giggles. “I’ll go grab my stash. I’ll be right back.”

“And I’ll grab my stash too,” Jisoo agreed.

Jennie returned with a bottle of tequila, to find Jisoo pulling out two bottles of whiskey from under her bed. 

“Why do you drink like an ahjussi?” Jennie commented.

“Why do you drink like a sorority pledge?” Jisoo retorted.

“Hey, hey, hey, when we hurt each other, we’re only hurting ourselves,” Jennie replied, making Jisoo snort in amusement.

“But wait... how will I get Rosé drunk if she barely even drinks?” Jennie asked suddenly.

“Just follow my lead,” Jisoo assured. “If there’s anything Chaeyoungie hates more than breaking rules, it’s letting people get hurt.” 

Jennie looked doubtfully at Jisoo, who was cackling like a supervillain. “I just want her to relax a little, I don’t want to pressure her into doing something she’s not comfortable with.” 

“Don’t chicken out on me now, Jendeuk. Tonight, this happens,” Jisoo insisted. “Just follow my lead...”

*

“Okay, es, it’s team-building time,” Jisoo announced authoritatively to the rest of the Blackpink members, who were lounging around the living room like grazing cattle.

“Oh! Are we gonna do trust falls?” Rosé asked excitedly in her Australian accent.

Jisoo looked at Jennie and mouthed, “Why do you like this idiot?” with Jennie glaring in response.

Jisoo sighed. “No, Chaeyoungie, we’re going to forge our bonds in ways no trust fall ever could...”

“We’re getting faced!” Lisa howled in excitement upon noticing the bottles of booze.

“Bingo,” Jisoo agreed. “Come here, my child, you get a cookie,” she told the maknae, and poured her a shot.

“It buuuuuu