Like any Friday night, the club was filled with different people. Office workers rewarding themselves, college students out to have some fun, or the lone drinkers who wanted some company. But for broken hearts, a certain alleyway housed a well known bar for those seeking comfort. For someone to talk to.

A woman walked into the bar and scanned the area, seemingly searching for someone. When she spotted a young woman with a bob, shot glass in hand, she knew who it was. Hurried steps made their way to the said woman. It was a familiar scene. The bartender nodded, acknowledging her presence. 

She sat beside her and patted the other person’s back. “Chaewon-unnie, let’s go.” The words slipped easily from . It was routine at this point. God knows how many times this happened. Way too often, she’d answer.

Chaewon faced the other woman, not before taking another shot and asking for a refill. “What are you doing here? Didn’t I tell you to leave me alone?” she asks.

“Unnie, this isn’t like you,” she replies.

“Then you don’t know me.”

“You can’t keep doing this.” Minju was getting annoyed. “Just because you still aren’t over-”

“Don’t-” she cut her off, her harsh yell catching the attention of nearby patrons. Chaewon sighed. She stared at the glass before downing another shot. “Don’t mention her name.”

A few seconds passed before the other customers returned to their own business. However, the  atmosphere turned stale. Minju knew she made a mistake bringing her up. She ran her hand through her hair. She took a deep breath and sighed, her mind trying to come up with a solution. A way to fix this, to fix her. Minju was tired. Frustrated. Most of all, worried. 

Chaewon glanced at her. Her face was warm and her head was pulsating. She wanted to yell at her but couldn’t. They’ve done this too many times. She should be grateful that Minju even came for her. But her mind was too much of a mess. All it has are thoughts of her.

She knows that if she keeps doing this, pushing her away, she’d leave. They’d all leave. Like she did.  

(It was her fault.)

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.” Minju took the seat next to her. “I should be sorry. For, you know.”

Chaewon didn’t deserve this. She wasn’t even the one who yelled. Minju shouldn’t be apologising. She should be. For all the trouble she caused them. For all the nights they found her and took care of her. For staying despite what she did. For her mistake.

-

“Chaewon?”

“Hiichan? This isn’t what it looks like!” 

 It was too late. She saw it all. The way they stared at each other, how their bodies are still so close despite her denial. Hitomi knew. When Chaewon started going home late with clothes that reeked too much of alcohol and roses.

(She wears mint perfume.)

When she started forgetting their goodbye kisses and their weekly dates became monthly.

(She forgot their anniversary.)

When they went straight to bed instead of talking like they used to.

(She doesn’t say “I love you,” anymore.)

“Please, leave.”

-

“I’ll wait for you outside.” Minju stood up and proceeded to pay the tab. “And please,” she looked at her with worried eyes, “It’s about time to forgive yourself.” 

“I’d never accept what you did, but I can’t see you like this anymore.” Minju gave her one last look then left. 

Chaewon thought about what Minju said. She knows how pitiful she is. Days wasted away, drowning in alcohol. But she can’t forgive herself. Not with all the pain she had to endure. 

-

The door opened, revealing Hitomi.

“What are you doing here?” she asked.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you-”

“But you did! You hurt me!” 

“You can’t do this! I love you-” 

“If you did, you wouldn’t have hurt me like this!”

The screaming stopped. Hitomi’s cheeks were stained with tears. Her eyes were bloodshot from all the crying. 

“I don’t want to see you ever again.”

The door closed. 

-

She should’ve held her, wiped the tears away, talked to her more. Shouldn’t have made excuses. Should’ve loved her like she did.

She looked at her empty shot glass. 

“One last shot,” she tells the bartender. And I’ll finally forget you, she thinks.

(She can’t.)