"Yuri! Yuri!"

"Please, miss, step out of the room" asked one of the nurses gently pushing Taeyeon.

But the woman wouldn't listen. All she had in her mind and vision was Yuri lying on the bed totally static. She stretched out her arms to reach her but it was harder for her now as there was not one person holding her back but two.

They both managed to get the leader out of the room. Because of the screams, some people in the hallways looked on, which Taeyeon did not care about. She also heard seven pairs of footsteps come running. It was them. The girls. Their group. Her family.

"What's going on?" asked Hyoyeon as the first one arrived breathlessly.

Seeing that all Taeyeon was doing was saying Yuri's name as she cried, the group looked up at the two nurses holding her.

"Please wait here," said one, asking them to stop the young leader so that they could go in and help her friend.

Sooyoung quickly grabbed Taeyeon by the waist, turned her over, and hugged her as tightly as she could. The nurses took the opportunity to enter the room by closing the door. Then Taeyeon collapsed and fell to the floor. Sooyoung accompanied her while still holding her.

------

About 15-20 minutes later when eight girls were on the verge of a heart attack, a doctor finally came out. Waiting for good news Jessica and Tiffany came over.

"We have to operate. Urgently. If we don't, she'll die," he said directly. Jessica started hyperventilating. Tiffany felt her heart stop. "Since you're the only family here, you have a choice. Did we save her life?"

At that moment, time stopped.

They obviously wanted Yuri to live. They couldn't live without her. But, at the same time, Yuri hadn't given her permission to do so. They had a moral problem again. Did they save her life or did they do what their friend seemed to want?

In the end, both Jessica and Tiffany came to the same conclusion in their own minds. But it was someone else who spoke.

"Operate her. Save her life."

They all looked and there she was, Taeyeon. And she seemed more serious and willing than ever."

The doctor looked at the rest, who nodded. Then he focused his gaze on JeTi, who also agreed.

"Well, let's get on with it. It will take several hours," he reported. "You should go home and rest. Although I'm afraid you won't, so since we have a room free, we'll leave it to you. A friend will be coming to take you there."

Jessica smiled, thanking him for his understanding. "Thank you."

------

A while later, the eight girls were waiting in the room they were engaged to. None of them had spoken yet. Each had her own thoughts, though they were all about the same thing.

Yuri was being prepped for surgery. An operation that would save her life, yes, but also make her forget her feelings for one of them. Feelings that made Yuri who she was. And, as if that were not enough, there was even the possibility that she would forget every memory in her mind and heart about her. The thought of it gave them chills.

After an hour, all was still silent, but for other reasons. Tiredness and recent events had affected several of them, and they were, thank God, sleeping.

The room was large, with a couple of beds and several armchairs. Yoona and Seohyun had laid down on one of the beds and managed to fall asleep in each other's arms.

The other bed was occupied by Sooyoung and Sunny, who had ended up visiting the sleeping world without being able to avoid it.

Hyoyeon had placed the armchair between the two beds and was also lying with her eyes closed.

Jessica and Tiffany lay down on two other couches, side by side, and held hands.

Although there was a place for her, Taeyeon was still standing, with her eyes open, almost without blinking. She was sleepy, very much so. She was tired, more than she had ever been. So much was happening that her energy was being drained everywhere. But she didn't want to sleep. She was afraid that if she closed her eyes Yuri would disappear. And that's something that was squeezing her chest.

Yuri loved her. It was her she had fallen in love with. For whom she had suffered. For whom she had fallen ill.

Taeyeon understands that the others didn't tell her anything. Besides being intimate, they knew for sure that this would happen: that she would feel guilty. For everything. She didn't hate them for it. She would never do that, as much as she would have liked to know it from the beginning.

Taeyeon wasn't sure how she felt about Yuri at this point. She didn't think this was the best time to find out. It was a complicated situation and she didn't want it to influence her discovery.

But one thing was clear to her. What she felt for Yuri was love. She didn't know what kind, but she felt it. Just like she felt for all the other girls.

-----

Another moment later Jessica opened her eyes. Something was vibrating in her bag. Her cell phone. Gently letting go of Tiffany's hands for a few moments, she reached into her bag. There she found what she was looking for and something else she had completely forgotten about. A white envelope. The same envelope that, with her last bit of strength, Yuri took from her bedside table and tried to give it to her before she lost consciousness. 

Leaving the envelope aside for a moment, Jessica answered the messages from her sister, who was the one talking to her asking if she was all right, since she had not answered her question for several hours. The American looked at the time. Six o'clock in the morning. Either Krystal had gotten up too early to do something or she hadn't slept well.

Details aside, Jessica told her she was in the hospital. That she was fine and that they would talk later. That didn't make Krystal happy, but she accepted her sister's decision.

When she had finished, she left her phone back in her bag and now she opened the envelope and took out what was inside: a carefully folded piece of paper. She unfolded it and recognized Yuri's handwriting instantly. She read the first few sentences before stopping. This is something everyone needed to know. So, she gently woke up Tiffany and asked Taeyeon to do the same with the rest.

Within minutes they were all awake, more or less. Knowing that they would not be awakened if not for something important, they all paid attention.

"It's Yuri's," Jessica said in a somewhat hoarse voice. "When I was with her and she had a fit she took this envelope and gave it to me. It seemed to be something important as she seemed to be looking for it eagerly at a time like this, so I keep it. I'd forgotten about it until now."

"Can you read it?" asked the maknae.

"I was at it when I realized it was addressed to everyone. I didn't want to finish reading it without you."

Tiffany smiled weakly. "Please..." she indicated waiting for it to begin.

"Hey, this is Yuri~

If you're reading this, there's a good chance I'm gone. In that case I want to tell you not to feel guilty. Everyone's time comes sooner or later. And I've been happy by your side. I have no regrets about what I have done and lived by with you.

Jessica, my soul mate. I really appreciate all these years by your side. Both in the group and outside. You've always been my pillar, my strength, when something was wrong and I wasn't able to communicate it in the group. You were the one who pulled me through.

Sunny, my sunshine. The light that shines on the whole group. Our energy pill. You have a job to do and that's to keep leading SNSD down the path of light. As a reward, I'll leave you some carrots when I get back.

Tiffany, my better half. My pillow. Well, I was more like yours. The person who always kept my moods up. The one who fought for me every time there was a problem. Always pushing me to be happy. Thank you. 

Hyoyeon, my queen. Looks like we won't be able to do any more dance duets. Or will we? If I come back in spirit, will you be able to see me? I'll be watching you so please keep dancing and putting your life into it.

Sooyoung, baka. I give you permission to eat my portion of the meal from now on. I think that's the nicest thing I've ever said to you. Keep playing tricks on the group for me. Make them laugh.

Yoona, my soul sister. Can you forgive me for leaving you before I've fulfilled all my promises? I hope that even if you're left alone, you'll keep them for both of us.

Seohyun, my little maknae, live, be strong, if anyone can, it's you. You're the smartest woman I know. Keep it up, just be the best.

And Taeyeon, I don't know if when you read this I'll be able to overcome my fears and tell you how I feel about you. In case the answer is no, I'm telling you that I love you. I've been in love with you for years. And please don't cry. Feelings aren't something you choose to have or not have. I've lived well knowing that you loved me. Not like I love you, but you did. I prefer that to you pretending something that doesn't exist. Taeyeon, thank you for everything. You were the best thing that ever happened to me. Live, live for me.

Anyway... tears apart.

If by any chance this letter should get into someone's hands before I'm gone, I want you to please, if you can, have me operated on. I want to have surgery.

I don't want to see suffering, sorrow, compassion, despair... on your faces again. It's something I'll never forgive myself for.

Am I choosing to lose my memories of how I feel about the person I love rather than lose you? Yes, you are.

Taeyeon is what I love the most. But all of you, including her, are my family. Every time I saw you, a hole formed in my chest.

I just hope I can be the same Yuri before and after everything. Please take care of me when I get out of surgery.

Always loved you, bye.

 Yuri."

When Jessica shut up, no one reacted. They were all busy trying to stop crying, something completely impossible...

Yuri had decided to have surgery for them, not because it was what she really felt. It was clear that she had an internal struggle, and it seemed endless.

Yuri had chosen the happiness of the rest, to stay with them, over her. 

And they had asked her to be operated on without thinking twice before reading the letter, to know Yuri's feelings.

Had they been selfish?

-----

I'm sorry for the delay. I've been sick all this days.

And I'm not sure about the letter, but okay. I'll do better next time.

Happy new year, fam!!