Hi everyone, am incredibly sorry I disappeared for a month but I'm back now! (though we unfortunately will most likely be saying goodbye to 6k words long updates.)

Here's a short chapter to the fill the gap between the gala and our boys' escape from the city :D 

Hyukjae barely remembers how the gala ended or how they left. Boring details as such fizzle out when he’s with Donghae anyway, because there’s only one thing that matters always and on that night it was the weight of Donghae leaning against the side of his body.

But somehow he thinks their exit still drew the same amount of attention their entrance did, because when they were back in the safety of their car with the tinted windows drawn up his eyes still hurt from the excessive exposure to flashing lights.

The next morning he’ll wake up to news articles discussing why exactly the President’s son left his father’s campaign gala early, why his drunk “friend” held onto his arm when he wobbled in his steps and why he had put his arm around his “friend”’s waist.

That same afternoon his PR manager will release the same statement she always has — that Donghae and Hyukjae are close friends and have known each other for half their lives, and Hyukjae has always been known to be a little affectionate with his touches anyway. Just ask his nanny from when he was a young child, and she would tell you how little Hyukjae had liked to hold onto her pinky when she cooked and how he’d press his cheek against hers when she tucked him into bed.

But what differentiates this scandal from the previous ones is that Hyukjae won’t be there to sit through a long, suffocating lunch after with his father’s occasional but very disapproving glances.

This time he’ll be on a train sitting opposite a very happy Donghae who feeds him chocolate muffins, stares out at the cityscape dissolving and looks adorable bunched up in a hoodie he took from Hyukjae’s closet.

This time it’s better.

Until that happens in a few hours’ time, though, it’s still midnight and Donghae has sobered up after a hot shower.

Hyukjae tries to go to sleep, nestling himself against Donghae’s warm embrace, but history repeats itself and he ends up struggling out of bed to puke his guts out into the toilet bowl.

Donghae offers him a warm towel and presses it against his cheek when he stops puking, and he opens his mouth to thank him but ends up turning back to the toilet bowl for a second round.

It’s always been like this.

Eunhyuk had always drunk more than Hyukjae can handle, and Hyukjae has never blamed him; how can he, when he knows how difficult it is for him to even be Eunhyuk?

But that ends up with Hyukjae vomiting out all that he’s ingested in the evening in the dead of the night, as if he had eaten much to begin with.

His stomach always feels way too empty once he’s done, but most of the time he’s alone when that happens and ends and so no one sees how pathetic he looks bundled up in sheets in a bed that has lost its warmth, pulling his arms around his stomach and clenching his jaw until day breaks.

But this time Donghae’s with him, and when he stands up and feels his legs give way he doesn’t end up trying to grab the countertop and knock down all of his toiletries in the process.

This time Donghae places his arm around his waist and supports his weight.

With his free hand, Donghae dabs the towel gently around his mouth and wipes away the sweat on his forehead. He manoeuvres them out of the toilet slowly.

Stopping at the bed, Donghae turns Hyukjae to face him and Hyukjae only rests his head on his shoulder as a response.

Donghae settles his arms around Hyukjae’s waist and asks, concern evident in his tone, “Has it always been like this?”

Hyukjae doesn’t look up, but Donghae knows he’s laughing when his shoulders shake mildly and hear him say: “You get used to it.”

Donghae tilts his head up and cups his cheek gently as he says, “Why haven’t you told me?”

Hyukjae wants to say ‘what good would it have done?’ but swallows it down when he sees the furrow in Donghae’s brows and the way the ends of his mouth tilt downwards whenever he’s sad.

Instead, he says, “I’m sorry, Hae. I just didn’t want you to worry.”

But Donghae still looks at him with the same sad eyes, and his thumb is caressing his cheekbone now as he says, “You’re so stupid, Hyukjae. I always worry.”

Hyukjae places his hand atop Donghae’s and whispers back, “I know. It’s why I love you.”

Donghae doesn’t smile back or say anything in return, but pulls him into bed nevertheless and still wraps his hands around Hyukjae in a way that makes him feel safe. He plants a soft kiss on the top of Hyukjae’s head and Hyukjae snuggles against his warm body.

“I love you too. I wish you’d tell me you were hurting,” Donghae says into the darkness sometime after they settle.

Hyukjae turns to press a kiss against his Adam’s apple and says, “I promise to the next time.”

Even though he had said it with as much sincerity as he could muster, they both knew it was a lie. Especially when Hyukjae fails to fight the bile rising within him some time into the night and wakes up two more times just to make a trip to the toilet.

Donghae pretends he doesn’t know and lies still in bed, but his heart clenches with every retching sound that reverberates from the toilet.

Hyukjae sneaks back into bed as softly as he can, as if Donghae doesn’t know, as if Donghae wouldn’t know. Donghae still pulls him into his arms each time he returns anyway, and it’s all that is important to Hyukjae that night — Donghae’s breath tickling the side of his face, the weight of his hand around his waist and the warmth of their legs curled around each other’s.

--

The next morning they nest themselves comfortably in the blankets as they watch the sun rise from outside the window.

For the first time, Hyukjae finds it incredibly worth it to have full-length windows in place; previously he had only thought they bring in too much light than is necessary. But this morning Donghae looks enraptured by the golden orb hanging in the sky and Hyukjae considers removing the curtains in his room altogether.

“Morning baby,” Donghae says after a while, turning away from the windows to face Hyukjae.

It’s that time in the morning when even the sun seems a little lazy and its shine isn’t as glaring, because right now it envelopes Donghae in a very gentle glow from behind and Hyukjae thinks it makes him look way more angelic than he alr