Another long update that I wasn't expecting :O Someone left a comment about how the title of the fic is in Spanish so I thought it'd be nice to talk a little about the title! It's actually from a song by Feng Suave that goes by the exact same name (I'll drop a link to the song below) and was chosen because it translates into 'dark night', which I think is a really accurate description of how Hyukjae's days feel in this fic though it's a little sad. Which is also why it says in the foreword 'My lover is a day I can't forget', because no matter how bad things are Hyukjae still has Donghae at the end of it all. Hopefully this too shows in this chapter! Also included at the end of this chapter some of the thoughts I had while I was writing hehe

Enjoy x

Note: this chapter begins with something pretty unpleasant and might be uncomfortable for some. Proceed with caution!

Hyukjae doesn’t see Donghae hanging by the cocktail bar anymore but meets Leeteuk’s eyes across the hall, and Leeteuk’s nodding at him so Hyukjae doesn’t worry. Donghae has always been ridiculously adept at social situations anyway, and Hyukjae thinks he’s probably better at winning hearts than he is.

He makes his way to the men’s room to cleanse himself of the bull he’s been hearing while interacting with the group of entrepreneurs and investors, and maybe to take in a few deep breaths and wash his face just to pretend he’s alright. Wouldn’t the reporters have a field day if Eunhyuk remained sullen the entire evening? Obviously he’s not going to give them that.

On his way he greets a few people who look dazzled to be graced by Eunhyuk’s presence, and Hyukjae wonders if they can tell from the way he’s walking that he was so close to committing homicide just 5 minutes ago.

He pushes the door open and thank god it’s empty, because Hyukjae grabs the nearest vase he sees and throws it to the ground with more force than is necessary.

The vase breaks and the sound echoes within the four walls, but Hyukjae’s ears are ringing with how riled up he is and if he didn’t have to walk back into the party later pretending nothing happened he might have punched the mirror just to watch himself bleed.

What a pity the broken pieces from the vase failed to cut him. How come things always end up disappointing him in the least expected ways?

He moves to wash his hands and face, leaving the broken vase lying in pieces on the ground near him. He thinks he can stifle down the anger bubbling in him and that it’s probably good for him to return to the party and find Donghae anyway, but then the door opens to reveal the last person he’d ever want to be confronted by.

“Woah, someone’s a little riled up,” Mr Kang says as he steps into the room, surveying the mess on the ground.

“Shut up, or the next thing I’ll break is your face,” Hyukjae spits out, turning off the water.

Mr Kang only chuckles as he moves to the sink next to Hyukjae, fixing his hair through the mirror. “How impolite… do you kiss your mother with that mouth?”

Hyukjae doesn’t say anything and moves to leave, but Mr Kang sticks his foot out in his path and stops him from doing so.

“Why did you run away earlier?” he asks, searching for Hyukjae’s eyes.

Hyukjae meets his gaze squarely and says, “I don’t know if you’re aware, Mr Kang, but we’re in the men’s room. I left to use the washroom, what else?”

But Mr Kang doesn’t back down, and he steps into Hyukjae’s personal space as he says, “Really? And not because they were talking about your boy-toy like he’s going to be their next lay?”

Hyukjae furrows his brows and takes a step back.

Mr Kang watches him shift uncomfortably and only smiles as he says, “Don’t worry, I have no intention of telling them which way you swing. None of their business, ain’t it, Hyukjae?”

Maybe he sounds like a nice guy right at this moment, ever so open-minded and thoughtful, but Hyukjae knows better than to take his words at face level and so he points out what he’s sure of: “I thought I said it’s Eunhyuk for you.”

Mr Kang laughs, taking another step forward and watches Hyukjae’s face twitch with mild frustration as he’s forced to take another step back again. “Can’t we drop the formalities? We know so much about each other already.”

Hyukjae refuses to let his expression shift as he feels his back hit the wall, even though Mr Kang is still inching closer and he’s practically breathing in Hyukjae’s air.

“Did you not like the flowers I sent, Hyukjae? It really hurt my feelings when you didn’t show up at the hotel room,” Mr Kang says, the corners of his mouth turning downwards sadly.

It makes Hyukjae’s blood boil, the way he brings up the incident like it was nothing. How could it have been nothing, when Hyukjae spent so many nights after hoping he’d never have to run into him again? How could it have been nothing, when it made Hyukjae fear being alone in his house – a place he should feel at ease in? How could it have been nothing, when Donghae had held his bleeding finger in his hand and said “I’m sorry I bought you roses and they pricked your finger”, as if it were his fault? How could it have been nothing?

“I said I’m not interested, Mr Kang-ssi,” Hyukjae mutters as he meets his eyes.

Mr Kang thinks he can have his way with Hyukjae as he wishes…? Too bad for him, Hyukjae’s not going to break now.

But apparently Mr Kang has no intentions of backing down too, because he smooths down the lapels of Hyukjae’s suit jacket as he whispers, “You look stunning today, Hyukjae.”

Hyukjae mumbles a clipped ‘thanks’ while suppressing an eyeroll.

He pulls his hand off his suit jacket, only for Mr Kang to shift that same hand up the side of Hyukjae’s neck.

He tries to move away, but Mr Kang has his shoulder pinned to the wall and so he can only hope his nervousness doesn’t show from the way he’s still meeting his gaze.

“What is it about Donghae? What does Donghae have that I don’t?” Mr Kang seeks, and the hint of sadness in his tone almost makes Hyukjae throw up in his own mouth. “I can show you the world, Hyukjae.”

Even though Hyukjae’s heartbeat is picking up erratically with how afraid he is, he can’t help but let out a laugh. “Are you seriously quoting Aladdin at me?” he asks, trying to pull back to put as much space between them as possible.

“I meant every word I said, Hyukjae. I can give you anything,” Mr Kang is unaffected by Hyukjae’s jeer as he opens his mouth again.

“There’s little to want when you’re the President’s son, Mr Kang-ssi,” Hyukjae says. “And in this life there’s only one thing I want, but it’s not something you can give to me.”

Mr Kang looks confused, so Hyukjae adds, “It’s simple: because you’re not him.”

The implication is clear in what he’s saying, and Hyukjae makes use of the break in Mr Kang’s resolve to shuffle out of his hold when he feels the grip on his shoulder weakening.

Hyukjae only fixes his suit jacket and hair as he backs towards the door and says, “Don’t spend too long in the washroom, Mr Kang.”

“The party goes on,” he adds with a smirk and closes the door behind him.

In the men’s room, Mr Kang clenches his fist wordlessly, and outside of it, Hyukjae lets go of a breath he didn’t even realise he was holding.

He hides his trembling hands in his pockets and exhales deeply as he walks back into the hall.

The party goes on indeed.

--

“Hyukjae!” a familiar voice calls out to him as he steps into the hall. Donghae waves at him from across the room and Hyukjae feels his breaths even out a little just by meeting Donghae’s eyes.

He makes his way over and sees that aside from Siwon, there are three other men who appear to be at least in their forties.

“I was grabbing some drinks with Siwon, then I ended up meeting my army officers here!” Donghae explains excitedly when Hyukjae stands next to him, and Hyukjae turns to look at the men who look very dazed by his presence.

He offers a quick smile and says, “Nice to meet you, I’m Eunhyuk.”

Then he turns his gaze back on Donghae and narrows his eyes as he lowers his voice, “You drank?”

Donghae thinks Hyukjae is obviously focusing on the wrong detail, and is about to roll his eyes when Siwon answers on his behalf, “I think he got fruit juice or something. No worries, he isn’t drunk.”

Hyukjae nods and Siwon thinks maybe the President’s son isn’t very good at hiding his emotions after all, because even he can tell how Hyukjae was visibly relieved to find that Donghae didn’t drink.

Donghae only sends a frown in Hyukjae’s direction for a split second, only for it to be wiped off his face and replaced with a genuine, sheepish smile when Hyukjae meets his eyes.

The officers make small talk with Hyukjae and it’s a pleasant conversation. Hyukjae finds it so much less demeaning than the one he had with the earlier group just now, though it could just be that that there’s still a certain hierarchy that works in the military that makes it difficult to hold such conversations. Not that it’s a bad thing.

But then Siwon gets called away by another group of friends, and the officers decide to take their leave to smoke a cigarette or two and end up leaving the two of them alone.

The change is very welcomed.

Hyukjae is so thankful that he pulls Donghae towards the bar and slides into a bar-top chair wordlessly.

Donghae sits next to him and the bartender offers them something.

He says thanks on their behalf and slides one of them to Hyukjae.

“Are you okay?” he asks, worry in his tone evident. “You look a little pale.”

Maybe this is the perfect time to talk about his encounter in the men’s room, but then that would mean having to tell Donghae what the group of old men said about him and in all honesty Hyukjae would rather die than have Donghae hear those words with his own ears. Plus it’s not like Mr Kang actually managed to do something, right? Maybe he can pretend it didn’t happen again; the way he always does when it comes to things like this. It wouldn’t be the first time anyway.

Hyukjae fights the urge to lie on his arms across the table because how bad would that look on him, but still, he doesn’t bother sitting straight in the chair. “I hate talking to these sick old men. Not your officers, by the way,” he mutters under his breath, slumping in his seat.

Donghae can only offer a sorry smile and he wonders if he’s crossing the line but decides to put his hand over Hyukjae’s anyway. “I know. At least you’re done for the day, right? I’m sure they loved you, though.”

Hyukjae leans into the touch and sighs. “Every one of these days I have to swallow my pride and pretend to laugh at the things they say just for my father’s sake. Maybe I should be the one running for President if they like me that much.”

Donghae only holds his hand tighter as he says, “For what it’s worth, I think you do a great job all the time.”

He sounds so genuine in a very Donghae way, and Hyukjae thinks maybe he wouldn’t mind sitting through all that awful conversations and eat his own conscience at the meals if it meant Donghae looking at him like he hung the moon in the sky that night.

“It’s worth a lot; you mean everything to me,” he says as he intertwines their fingers together.

It’s dark, right? The reporters probably can’t see that our fingers are intertwined. Everyone’s busy socialising with everyone, who’s going to notice? Hyukjae thinks and thinks and thinks, and he knows he’s lying to himself because even though it may appear so, there’s always someone watching him. He doesn’t get extended a decent amount of privacy and freedom, but there’s little he can do about it. And he thinks he’s suffered enough tonight, so even if they do see something can they please just let him have this? He’s not asking for much, is he?

But with a smile, Donghae brings him out of his internal conflict, even as he says ‘stop being so cheesy’.

Hyukjae ends up mirroring his smile like an idiot.

From the corner of his eyes he can see Mr Kang watching them, but for the first time that night, he chooses to focus on what matters to him and doesn’t let his eyes trail off the contours of Donghae’s face.

Even though his heartbeat is picking up again, and even though his brain keeps replaying images of Mr Kang cornering him in the men’s room.

Donghae is here, he tells himself, I am going to be okay.

--

Then he senses the bartender watching them curiously from the other end and swallows a sigh as he lets go of Donghae’s hand and reaches for the drink instead.

It’s the perfect hint to warn him that yes, of course there’s at least someone watching him all the time. It breaks the perfect illusion and Hyukjae hates it more than he should. Sometimes what’s real just isn’t as good as what isn’t.

“I don’t think it’s alcoholic. Though I can’t really tell after the number of drinks I’ve had,” he says after taking a sip.

Donghae narrows