Hi everyone, you may be surprised to see why I've marked this story complete even though it's clearly barely halfway there. I'm here to announce that this story will officially be discontinued. I started writing this about 3 years ago and it's always been a tricky story to write, what with me dabbling in matters I don't really have sufficient knowledge about. I've enjoyed researching things in the midst of writing, and of course I could always choose to continue to do that, but I don't think I'll be able to do the story justice especially with how busy I am right now. I don't wish to keep stringing you guys along, and even though I've had great ambitions about where this story could go when I first started writing it, I don't think I'm able to see this through anymore.

I'm really sorry about that, but for what it's worth, the support you guys have given me has been incredible and there are scenes in this story I'm really proud of having written. This was my first ever long fic, and it saddens me too to know that I will never be able to give them the happy ending they deserve. Maybe some time in the future I'll pick it up again, but even that is highly improbable.

That said, there are still some snippets I wrote but never expanded on that I thought I could share, and I'll add them down below. These were not really planned to be in the same scene or even in the same chapter, so surely they will feel a little out of place, but I mean, I might as well just put it out here. Here you go!

Snippet #1:

Seoul’s mornings in the winter are always freezing cold. The chill in the air makes Donghae’s fingers curl even with his gloves on and he thinks his nose might be falling off.

Special Forces soldier or not, Donghae is still not a fan of the cold.

“You have to take care of yourself there, okay?” Hyukjae says, reaching over to tighten the scarf around Donghae’s neck.

Donghae sniffles and nods obediently. “You stay out of trouble at home too,” he tries to say as quickly as possible before his teeth start to chatter.

Hyukjae thinks it’s cute how Donghae is trying to pretend he isn’t afraid of the cold and brings his warm hands up to run his thumbs across the smoothness of Donghae’s face.

“Is it gonna be cold there?” he asks. 

Donghae’s usual bright eyes are a little misty in the early morning. Hyukjae wants to kiss them, along with his pretty lashes.

Donghae nods as he pouts. “Probably colder than it is here.”

Hyukjae is thinking of what to say to comfort him when he feels Donghae snuggle into his neck and wrap his arms around his waist.

“You feel so warm, Hyukkie. I don’t want to leave you,” Donghae mumbles sleepily into his neck.

Every Seoul morning in December is cold, but Hyukjae is warm.

Hyukjae chuckles and pats Donghae lightly on his black beanie. “I don’t want you to go either. But the country needs its best soldier, doesn’t it?”

Donghae doesn’t respond but instead tightens his arms around Hyukjae. “You need to be safe here too, Hyukjae. So that I know what I’m fighting for. Promise me you’ll be safe?”

Hyukjae must have stayed silent for a beat too long, because then Donghae draws back and seeks his eyes earnestly. He sees the worry beginning to settle in Donghae’s eyes and forces himself to smile as he says, “I promise.”

In his head, Hyukjae is apologising to Donghae for lying. 

How can he be, when the only reason he’s ever been safe and will ever be safe is going away?

He tries, tries and tries, and this time he thinks he can’t bring himself to anymore.

But Donghae is looking at him in a way that makes Hyukjae feel his heart settle rightly in his chest and wishes so hard he meant what he had promised.

“See you soon, Hae. When the world is done needing saving,” he lets out a small smile.

Donghae looked as if he was going to say something; maybe that he doesn’t trust Hyukjae will be okay, or maybe he just wanted to whine about the cold, but Hyukjae didn’t want to risk it being the former. 

He’s not so sure he’s capable of lying a second time.

So he leans forward and captures Donghae’s lips with his own and feels, underneath the initial chillness and probably even ing frost, the only thing he’s ever known about love.

When they pull back a light flush has settled across Donghae’s cheeks and Hyukjae holds Donghae’s gloved hands in his own and brings it up to blow hot air onto them.

“You have to be well too, when I’m not there to take care of you,” he says.

Donghae smiles his favourite smile – the tight-lipped, wide eyes one that always reminds Hyukjae of this cat his old housekeeper used to keep that Donghae and Hyukjae would always tease whenever he came over at the age of 12.

“I’ll come back soon, so you can take care of me again,” he says.

Hyukjae nods in agreement and runs his thumb over Donghae’s lips. They feel cold again. How did they turn cold so soon?

“I love you,” he says.

“One final hug!” Donghae lets out as he forces himself between Hyukjae’s arms and breathes into his neck. “I love you too, Hyukkie. The most I’ve ever loved anyone and the most I ever will. But you knew that already, don’t you?”

His voice gets lighter and higher towards the end, and he sounds happy, which is why Hyukjae thinks it’s so stupid how he’s feeling tears in his own eyes now.

This is a happy moment, he tells his brain. It’s Donghae; everything about him has only ever made me feel happy.

He rubs his hands over his eyes quickly before settling his arms around Donghae’s neck.

“Of course I do. I think I love you more though,” he says, and is surprised his voice doesn’t break at the end.

Donghae laughs a little and Hyukjae feels his laughter even through the thick down jacket he’s donning. “I don’t think so, but maybe you can show me just how you love me more than I you when I come back.”

Hyukjae nods and tilts his head a little to plant a soft kiss on Donghae’s right shoulder.

“See you when I see you then,” he says,