“That was real…” Heechul murmured while he kept still. He wasn’t looking at me. He wasn’t moving and all I can see was his shoulder moving up and down slowly as he breathed. I kept my distance and stayed where I was seated. He was settled at the far end of his bed, and I sat on the other end.

            My mind reeled at the sight of him. Things were playing differently from how I pictured it in my head. I grew flustered but even more scared because I thought he would like the thought of it because I did. It was the only thing that kept me going for the days that followed that encounter. I stayed days and nights every chance I get at the same place we met but he never came. I was head over heels but not because he looked good, or his sweet talks, or because he feeds my ego. I was head over heels because of the feeling he gave me, the comfort that I get just by lying with him side by side.

            “I’m sorry… I didn’t tell you sooner…” The silence between us is killing me so I gathered all the courage I have so I could tell them that.

            “I wish I knew…” I shot my head up and turned to look at him. He was looking at me; his stare was tender, almost piteous. I played with my fingers, unsure of what to say or what to do. “How I wish I knew it was all real.”

            He sighed a few more times before he continued talking. “I walked on my toes around you because I wasn’t sure if you know me. I spent most of my nights dreaming about the moon and how we’ve lain under it together. It almost felt real, I always tell myself but then I really couldn’t remember how I went there that’s why I couldn’t tell if it was real.”

            “You were close to me?” I asked in disbelief.

            “I buy coffee a