“Teuk… Hey…” I felt someone shake my shoulders back and forth.

“Leeteuk… wake up.” It was a mellow voice calling my name and cold hands were resting on both of my shoulders. I hastily opened my eyes, my breathing, heavy. I shook my head and raised it to stare at the person in front of me. His eyes were soft, and his hair was a little disarrayed. My vision slowly grew blurry. My heart constricted with so much pain as if someone was pressing it.

As I close my eyes, his face lingered in my sight, worried and very much alive. I heaved out a deep breath hoping so bad it would calm me. I instinctively leaned my spinning head against his chest. He didn’t move. He just reached for my hand and wrapped it with both of his. I feel his chest rise up and down as he breathed in and out. My heart was still pounding against my chest and sooner, my eyes were like a dysfunctional faucet, unable to stop releasing tears.

“It’s okay…” No. It’s not okay. It’s not going to be okay. Not after he leaves.

“It’s not okay… you’re going to leave.”

“You’re the one who’s going to leave, hyung. I’m just here. I’m going to stay here.” There was a taint of playfulness in his voice. “Until the end of my days, hyung…”

Right then and there I wanted the gods to take my breath; to make my heart stop hurting; to at least give me the answer why I have to feel this kind of pain. I lived to see so many things already. Every day, I strive to provide for the next day, not ever thinking of today because I always think that the present will fly and what matters is how I know how to live the next moment. I needed assurance. I needed the comfo