A/N: Please be aware that from now on mature topics/actions can occur anytime without it being labeled as [M] as it is misleading. I'd really appreciate some feedback. I sometimes feel like the chapters are too long or maybe even boring.

Lisa’s heart seldomly raced and if it did it had been always because of a certain set of reasons; Having to perform in front of her parents and extremely important and highly ranked persons, sprinting until the muscles in her calves hurt and were about to collapse and lastly, demonstrating power gave her in the first few seconds a thrill, a rush causing her heart to beat fast.

Right now, however, none of these reasons applied to her situation and yet she was afraid that her racing heartbeat would be heard by Jennie any second and consecutively hurting her pride.

There was no physical exertion, no immediate meeting with her parents and she certainly didn’t feel as big and mighty despite holding on Jennie’s hips with a strong grip.

She was, nonetheless, hellbent on winning the indirect dare Jennie had challenged her to with her deep and husky whispering.

 
Her blood pumped even harder – almost painfully – when Jennie’s lips so close to hers parted and she grazed against Lisa’s cheek with her nails.

 
“I’d do this…,” none of the internal tremor colored onto her voice as it was quiet but firm.

She gripped her waist even harder, underestimating her strength and eliciting a whimper out of the brunette. That somewhat sultry sound in addition to the alcohol and the intoxicating feel of Jennie close to her, her scent, clouded her mind to the point where any inhibitions to pull through with her stunt dropped in an instant and she leaned in to erase the almost non-existent gap.

She wasn’t in her right mind anymore to reject anything.

“Ah!” Jennie squealed suddenly, interrupting the peaceful silence of the white winter night with her high-pitched shriek, and shoved her away while covering . Violent laughter ensued her shriek and the intensity made her dizzy. She supported herself with one hand on the railing.

 
“You were really going to do it?” Her voice failed at the end due to the lack of oxygen in her system, she was out of breath.  She looked at her with so much mirth mixed with incredulousness that something within the soldier snapped.

With one step she got close to the girl who first created proximity only to replace it with distance.

In a swift motion she brought both her large hands to Jennie’s cheeks and pressed without further ado a big kiss onto it with an exaggerated sound.

 
Lisa felt as if she’d returned part of her dignity back but another part felt even weaker when a bolt of electricity shot through her like a gun when her lips made contact with the soft skin of her.

She released the girl who was silenced by her action and gave her the finishing blow to win this game, “By the way, I would never push you away,”

A victorious smirk plastered her face and the soldier felt good enough to carry on like this, without her ego being damaged too much.  After all she reckoned her heart didn’t beat this crazy for nothing and there was this burning curiosity about what it would be like to kiss her was eating her up at a certain point.

Jennie quickly recovered and shoved the soldier slightly, “You’re unbelievable!”

A hearty laughter erupted from Lisa in response when they were already back inside in the warm apartment, Rosé didn’t move one inch at the commotion.

The soldier then proceeded to show her the shower in the bathroom which was attached to her bedroom and she couldn’t help but laugh again at the cute pout Jennie sported all the way to it.

 
“Someone’s a sore loser, eh?” Lisa leaned against the doorframe as she watched Jennie putting her fresh clothes on a free place.

“Who said I was playing?” Jennie retorted half-seriously – she really couldn’t take such blows well.

“It’s obvious,” Lisa cackled at her antics, she was really adorable.

Jennie’s pouted cheeks reminded her of dumplings and she felt the sudden urge to pinch them. She cursed herself inwardly for not having done that when she was kissing her cheek.

The brunette only huffed in response but her face cheered up eventually and a small smile was seen again.

Before Lisa left the bathroom, she added, “Just a friendly tip: This energy just now was dangerous, you should be careful,”

 
A sly smile topped off her sentence and she slightly rose her brow and the door closed and left the brunette to her own devices.

Back in the living room, Lisa quickly pulled out the first-aid kit and treated her knee with expert speed. She finished taping the small bandage around it and checked briefly if Rosé was in fact still breathing – she didn’t flinch once in the whole process, not even when Lisa applied some anti-inflammatory spray directly on the wound.

After hearing light snores she was reassured and draped a blanket over her and put the kit away.

She headed to her room to get some sleeping clothes. Lisa was almost ready getting all of her things when Jennie got out of the bathroom clad in Lisa’s black t-shirt and long jogging pants.

Her wet hair was draped around one shoulder and slightly drenched it and the blonde was amazed at how there was barely a difference between seeing Jennie barefaced and with makeup. She was a natural beauty, effortlessly elegant.

“I was just about to get my stuff, I’ll go in a minute” She said at Jennie’s initial startled expression and noted with contentment the fresh and sweet scent which came from her showering.

“What do you mean?” She asked while she dried her hair tips with the towel.

“You’ll sleep here tonight and I’ll be on the couch,”

“I can’t drive you out of your own room,” Jennie stopped her motions of drying her hair.

“It’s fine, really. I can check up on Chaeyoung that way,” Lisa reassured her and closed her drawers when she collected everything she needed.

“I’ll just take a quick shower, ok?” Lisa added and Jennie nodded with a grateful smile. The door to the bathroom clicked and the soldier was gone.

Almost instantly Jennie fell with the back into the soft grey blankets and felt her heavy eyelids closing on their own despite the lights still being on.

After a short while Lisa exited with newfound freshness the bathroom and bedroom silently, turning off the light and plunging the room in comfortable darkness.

Back in the living room, Lisa reclined into the couch and closed her eyes, falling asleep within minutes. A perk of being a soldier for so long.

She can fall asleep anywhere, anytime as long as she felt a minimal, physical exhaustion. If it wasn’t for the party tonight, the incident with Jennie would’ve been enough to send her off into the land of the dreams quickly.

Her heartrate still hadn’t normalized yet.

After an hour her eyes opened widely and her worn out body was in an alerted stare despite the lingering alcohol impairing her senses even now to a certain degree. Without making a sound she stood up and stepped cautiously into the corridor, spotting a silhouette in front of the entrance door, opening it as quiet as she could.

“Jennie?” Lisa had the lights and caught the other girl trying to go off somewhere.

“Where are you going?” the soldier stood still and watched how the girl was barely clad in appropriate clothes for the cold of the night.

“I couldn’t sleep and needed something to do, sorry for waking you,” she briefly held her hands above her eyes as if it was the sun she needed to shield off.

Lisa’s posture relaxed gradually and she walked over to the front door next to the brunette and closed the door softly, “Is something wrong?”

Jennie gazed into her eyes and saw how gentle her expression was for being torn out of sleep like this. That look fit her so much better than her indifferent one.

“No, I just don’t want to be alone right now, so I tried to distract myself,” she replied and wasn’t lying though there were many things not working out in her life. She shed off her coat, discontinuing her plan to get a pack of cigarettes somewhere.

Before the blonde answered, she noticed the exhaustion in her bare but pretty face. Her cat eyes were still as sharp even though they dulled due to the tiredness and the alcohol.

 
The lives of others never really concerned her much, but with the petite girl standing in front of her and fidgeting slightly with her hands sparked her curiosity.

However, she refrained from probing and asked instead, “Do you wanna have a midnight snack?”

Jennie’s face immediately retained a bit more life and a small smile played on her lips, “What about Rosé though? I don’t want to wake her,”

Her joy was dampened again by the thought of not getting any food and spending some more time with the soldier. At second thought, she was actually amazed by her reaction. She was so gentle and understanding, not prying into her problems and offering solutions that worked so well with Jennie right now.

“Don’t worry,” Lisa left her position at the door and headed with slow steps into the kitchen which was connected to the living room, “she’s in an alcohol induced coma, nothing could wake her up right now,”

Satisfied enough with her answer, she happily followed Lisa and scanned the fridge after Lisa gave her the permission to feel at home after she saw Jennie feeling uncomfortable by just doing so.

While Jennie was checking out her possible options, Lisa leaned against the counter with her back next to the fridge and attentively watched her. It was around 4 in the morning, Jennie was clothed in Lisa’s slightly too big, black shirt paired with grey jogging pants and her hair was tousled and still wet at the tips but still she was so, so pretty.

Lisa was enthralled by her appearance and the brunette felt her intense staring. Instead of letting it slide, she asked with the corners of the mouth lifting faintly, “What?”

Her voice was almost a whisper, she didn’t want to wake up Rosé even thought that wouldn’t have happened anyway.

“Do you like French toast?” The blonde effortlessly caught up on her indecisiveness and exploited that observation to her advantage, playing off being caught and diverting her attention.

“I’ve only seen it in movies before and always wanted to try it, but I don’t know how to do it,” the glimmer which was awakened at the thought of that particular dish died at that and it made Lisa’s heart clench, forcing her to do something she’d never thought of doing, especially not for someone she barely knew but definitely liked.

Lisa pushed herself off of the counter and placed both hands briefly on her petite waist and guided her away from the fridge. It was addicting to touch Jennie, Lisa just couldn’t deny herself this desire.

“Sit down, I’ll prepare them,” her hands left her midriff and ushered her to sit down at the bar connected to the kitchen counters. The brunette obliged albeit hesitantly and closely watched the soldier preparing the food.

She was completely thrown off tracks by her behavior.

“You know, I was really mad at you,” the words had slipped without her consent, but now they were out in the open and heard by the soldier.

Unfortunately, the sizzling of the cooking toast in the pan wasn’t loud enough for her to not hear these words.

Lisa turned the toasts around and then started, “Jennie,..”

Her voice had almost acquired a pleading tone, she didn’t know what she should say. She definitely knew the reason why and she still felt bad about it.

She laid down the spatula with a sigh, “It’s my job. No one would respect my orders if there were no consequences for not following them. It was also a very important event for my career,”

“I understand, I think,” Jennie propped one elbow on the bar and supported her head with her hand, “but you’ve gone overboard,” she retorted without much fervor, she wasn’t mad anymore and she didn’t want for the mood to tip over.

Lisa didn’t reply as she was plating the French toast and arranged them with sugar.

“I’m sorry, will you accept my apology?” she slid the plate in front of Jennie.

“Depends on how good this will be,” she teased and the soldier let out a sigh of relief.

 
There was no way Jennie’s mood could be spoilt when she was about to dig into something that smelled so delicious.

 
“You’re not eating anything?” She held a hand in front of and was thinking about it only after she almost finished – it just tasted that good. Anything was so much better in the middle of the night and after a party.

“I’m not hungry for food,” she said nonchalant and raised her brows at herself when she stood with the back to the brunette. She didn’t know where that came from but she was glad Jennie didn’t notice her accidental innuendo.

When she was done cleaning up the kitchen and putting Jennie’s empty plate away, she asked again, “Am I forgiven?”

Jennie stood up and placed a finger at the chin and tapped at it, giving the impression that it was a hard decision albeit it wasn’t, “Yes, you are,”

Her indecision turned into a smile that radiated so much warmth it made Lisa’s cheeks grow hot.

After that Lisa offered her to watch some comedy, offering a bit more of company to the brunette which she gladly accepted.

The soldier selected a movie Jennie liked and placed herself next to her. Jennie laid down with her knees bent and pulled to her body in order for Lisa to fit on the couch since Rosé occupied the other length of it.

The lights were turned off and the tv was now the only light source. The soldier tried to follow the movie but was simply distracted by the girl next to her.

There was a moment when Jennie boldly laid her legs on Lisa’s lap, eliciting another jolt of adrenaline which shot through her body and told her that something was off.

Too drained and too distracted to ponder anything, she relaxed her formerly crossed arms and let one rest on the back of the couch and the other on Jennie’s legs.

Just why were her hands so drawn to her body and why did it react like that to Jennie’s actions?

Some ten to twenty minutes must have passed until Lisa slightly changed her position and was now rather turned to Jennie than the tv. Her hand had laid idly on Jennie’s legs until, without realizing it at first, she began to slowly move it up and down.

She gave into the need for friction and the small movements turned into caresses.

Jennie couldn’t ignore it any longer and searched for Lisa’s eyes.

Catlike eyes found Lisa’s doe ones following her own movements of her hand and Jennie forgot for a moment what she’d wanted to say.

Lisa noticed Jennie’s stare and reciprocated it, making the tension in the room gradually grow.

 
Lisa’s gaze was indecipherable in the dark but she stopped moving her hand over the brunette’s calf when she couldn’t make out what Jennie’s meant.

“Continue,” the brunette said quietly at last, turning her head to the tv again. But she stopped following the plot of the movie and concentrated more on the feeling of Lisa’s .

This was a bizarre situation to the both of them.

Both barely knew anything about the other but there seemed to be some kind of connection, something Lisa had never felt before and Jennie never dared to hope for when she was fooling around in order to forget and repress her ugly reality.

The feeling of security spread to her whole body along with subliminal excitement, catching her and holding her hostage in the most comfortable and pleasant way.

 
The same emotions cursed through Lisa, making her act unreasonably despite not being majorly affected by alcohol anymore. There was no excuse except for the raw truth that, what she felt when she caressed just a bit higher at her lower thigh, was excitement of the bad sort.

Something that was not meant to be caused by Jennie – a girl.

 
Lisa stopped caressing her and rested her hand at her initial place, idle and harmless.

~~~

Rosé awoke the next morning with a splitting headache. She was still dressed in her clothes of yesterday and the stench of smoke being woven into the fabric of them repulsed her.

With utmost caution she lifted her upper body up until she was in a sitting position.

She brought her head into her hands and contemplated her life for five minutes straight with the question of why she’d drunken so much repeating again and again in her throbbing skull.

She wasn’t able to focus on something at all, the dizziness prevented her from doing so.

She couldn’t muster a coherent thought except for the one telling her to go take a shower.

Rosé had almost been every weekend over at Lisa’s, drinking with her and sometimes her brother and his friends. So she knew the apartment already quite well and moved freely around it.

The sluggish and loud movements of her leaving the room eventually tore Lisa out of her sleep and she instantly looked at the clock out of reflex. Her eyes widened, it was twelve and she had a meeting at the academy at three.

She can’t believe she’d slept that long.

She yawned and stretched her body, feeling the bones in her back cracking satisfyingly. Her brain desired coffee and before she could get up she noticed the scrambled legs on her lap.

“Jennie, wake up,” her voice was still husky from sleep and alcohol. She slightly shook Jennie’s legs but a cute groan and retreating legs was the only answer the soldier got.

Taking the chance of being able to stand up, she walked to the kitchen and made coffee. She knew Chaeyoung would badly need one and she wondered if Jennie would like one as well.

In the end she settled for hot chocolate, remembering that the brunette had ordered it when they were out for a coffee.

“Jennie,” Lisa repeated, “wake up, I made you hot chocolate,” she placed the hot beverage on the couch table and bent down to weakly shake her again.

 
When Jennie opened her eyes briefly she was greeted with the pleasant smell of freshly grinded coffee and cacao, heightening her mood.

“Mornin’,” she grinned with her eyes still too heavy to keep them open and propped herself up.

Lisa gave her some space and settled at the table with her coffee and checked her phone.

Not long after Rosé had entered the room she greeted everyone with her characteristic enthusiasm missing. Lisa gave her her coffee which she gladly accepted as if it was some miraculous cure.

When Jennie saw her she was impressed; Heads off for anybody who looked as ed up as Rosé did despite being freshly showered.

 
“I have the worst headache ever,” She sat down with speed competing with snails and slung her head into her hands again.

“You should’ve seen yourself when you slipped and you were the one laughing the loudest,” Lisa liked to squeeze the most out of her misery and earned a glare in return.

“I don’t remember slipping, I don’t remember much actually, I can’t focus at all with this elephant dancing in my brain,” she groaned and then proceeded to drink her hot coffee in one go. She relished the caffeine but despised how it burnt her whole throat from the inside.

She coughed several times from the pain and then her head called for her attention. She felt really miserable.

 
“Maybe you just need to sleep for an hour or ten,” Jennie chimed in with a weak teasing manner, placing herself on the armrest of the couch with her hot chocolate cradled in both her hands.

“Yes!” she exclaimed and desperately agreed with Lisa until her brain registered that it hadn’t been Lisa’s input but Jennie’s.

“Jennie? You’re here, too?”  

“Yeah,” she just nodded in return, sleep still hung heavy on her shoulders.

“I wish I could enjoy this morning with you guys, but I think I need my bed the most now,” She tried to convey it with a sorry expression, but the pain was a prevalent feature instead.

“Don’t worry, we can always repeat last night minus some drinks,” Jennie agreed with her. It really would be something to have a real sleepover and she thought if Jisoo would get along with them as well.

She was sure about Rosie, but not so much with Lisa.

She was aware of Jisoo’s resentments against the military and especially against Lisa ever since Jennie needed an outlet for her frustrations and told her all about it.

 
Rosé stood up and collected her few things. Lisa also stood up but sat down after Rosé assured her that Lisa didn’t have to drive her as usual.

She really needed a walk and fresh air and then her bed and more sleep. In that order.

She hugged them weakly and said bye and left, leaving the two of them alone.

“I really don’t want to kick you out, but I’ve got a meeting in two hours and I need to get ready,” Lisa started when they closed the door.

“No problem, thank you for letting me crash here and making me French toast in the middle of the night, drunk,” she giggled and Lisa didn’t want her to stop just yet.

“Don’t mention it. How about I’ll take you with me and bring you home before?”

“Really? That would be great,”

And with that they’d spent the rest of the early afternoon watching some stupid cartoons Jennie enjoyed too much and getting ready. It seemed as if the night yesterday was the last drop for their friendship to be fully established.

Before it had always been something in between and unsaid, but the way they interacted with each other now spoke volumes.

Jennie was ready and packed her used clothes into a bag that was given to her by Lisa. She’d gotten yet another set of clothes from her and she’d promised she would return them soon.

Just when Jennie was done, Lisa rounded the corner in her impeccable uniform which caused weird sensations within the smaller girl.

“I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to seeing you like that,” she voiced her thoughts in a tone that wasn’t negative yet not positive. Something in between, something Jennie herself wasn’t sure of.

“Then don’t,” For Lisa this wasn’t something negative at all and the smirk testified for the chances seen within that statement. The brunette only shook her head with a small chuckle and both left.

The ride was short and they shared a comfortable silence.

Jennie couldn’t help but look over to her once or twice. She marveled yet again over her driving skills and wondered if there was something that girl was bad at.

When they’d arrived at her house, Jennie lingered a little bit longer than necessary.

“Thank you for driving me and basically for everything,” she slightly bowed and put the strands of hair falling into her face behind her ear.

“Anytime, Jennie,” The soldier really had developed a soft spot for her in record time.

“Oh, before I forget it, hand me your phone,” She demanded and Lisa obliged without asking her and watched her typing her number into it.

“Here,”

The brunette unbuckled her belt and leaned over to the anticipating soldier, taking her into a hug – something she hadn’t done before.

Jennie took in the smell of the uniform and found that she liked it, even though it didn’t have a particular strong smell as it was almost neutral, but there was a note to it that resonated well within her.

“It was a fun night,” Lisa reciprocated the hug but it felt as if it was over before it had even begun. The passenger door opened and closed.

Lisa waited until she saw the pretty girl entering her home and now only Jennie’s scent was lingering in her car.

~~~

The meeting took over three hours and it was already pitch black outside when she drove home with a weird feeling in her stomach.

With a suddenness never before known to her, loneliness found its way into her heart and spready like a disease. Her thoughts continually darkened and not even hanging out with her brother when she’d returned home diffused the feeling which had settled within the pit of her stomach.

There was a feel of doom, of feeling completely alone that floored the otherwise mentally so strong soldier.

After an hour of catching up with Jimin and having to hear complaints of not having taken him with to the party, she went for a walk to buy a new pack of cigarettes.

The stinging cold was easing her inner turmoil slightly but there was only so much that could be done by temperatures alone.

She bought a pack and immediately lit one and took a long, painful drag. She coughed but kept walking.

She thought about her parents and wondered if their missing praise for her achievement was the cause for this feeling but discarded it quickly. She’d just been in the company of similar ranked people who had praised her a lot for her engagement and realization of that project.

Her thoughts then wandered to Chaeyoung but there was nothing stirring within her, signaling her to be on the wrong path.

Her thoughts shifted to the brunette at last and rested there.

She was still confused about all the things Jennie made her feel, all the thoughts that would come into her head when she saw her. She was still bewildered by her actions and mostly of Jennie’s seductiveness.

Not once had Lisa ever felt and thought and acted that way.

 
The loneliness crashed and raged within her to a point she could barely take it anymore. Not only did she want Jennie’s proximity back, it also felt like she needed it.

She fought with herself internally, cursed these stupid emotions and paced back and forth, the path already smoothed by her footsteps.

After another cigarette and a long time of convincing herself that this loneliness had an unknown cause but a known remedy, she tipped in the next words and sent them in hopes of not making a fool out of herself.

“Do you want to come over tonight? There’s this new movie I want to show you,
-L”