A/N: I just wanted to share some sketches with you. I do this concept with Jenlisa, but I originally planned to create a manga with my own characters, that's why they differ in outer appearances.

It sounded silly, but she felt as if she was lying on clouds. Their texture engulfing her whole being and cradling her, soothing her. Never had she felt such peace and such comfort. The colors around her were vivid and vibrant, while the pink hue of the clouds layered the atmosphere with so much wonder.

It felt out of this world.

There was no body whose heaviness was felt each and every day. Only her existence and the sensations of knowing someone was close to her were prevalent.

Although she could see nothing but the clouds and the endless pastel sky, she felt the embrace of a human being, she felt the touch, the care, the love. She felt the happiness radiating off of that person by her smile alone. A mild breeze carried over an all too familiar fragrance.

Jennie.

Lisa wanted to lay there forever, knowing that she was with her, but suddenly the warmth was out and she fell through the clouds, falling with a loud thud back into reality.

“Lisa,”

Her eyes snapped open in an instant, her heart was beating fast. Each pump spread a gnawing emptiness through her veins, after realizing that heaven was never meant for her.

Jennie grew impatient at the sight of the immobile soldier, “Lisa!”

It was only then that Lisa fully registered her environment and watched the gorgeous brunette, whose body was only covered by her oversized blouse, hastily grabbing a fresh set of clothes. As Jennie felt the attention, she turned to her again.

“You gotta go,”

After the dream she had, this reality felt suffocating and crushing. This wasn’t how she wanted it to look like at all. Not anymore.

Lisa quickly stood up from the bed and didn’t care how her body reacted to the abrupt action. She felt weak, she was weak.

She had slept with Jennie.

The Jennie Kim.

And now she couldn’t even meet her eyes properly in fear Jennie would see the undisguised vulnerability after being thrown out like that without further ado.

“Good morning to you, too,” Lisa hissed while she was busying herself by collecting her button-up shirt and her tie from the ground.

The brunette didn’t acknowledge her mocking and proceeded to go to her drawer to fish out a towel.

“Make sure the door is closed when you leave,” Jennie said over the shoulder with an almost indifferent tone. She was just about to leave the room when Lisa halted her movement with her interjection.

“That’s all?” The soldier really tried hard to not let her exasperation seep through.

But she could barely contain the absurdity of the situation. She felt so hurt all of a sudden by Jennie’s actions, even though she should’ve known better.

The brunette huffed and crossed her arms over her chest, looking her dead in the eye, “What did you expect? It was just ,”

Hearing that, anger and humiliation started to quickly rise within Lisa’s body and competed with her heartache. She felt utterly stupid and wounded even, thinking that here had been something between them.

But what could’ve been there between them anyways?

Lisa had always seen the pain Jennie was hiding, had known about her ways of coping. Just why was she so surprised?

The soldier couldn’t hold Jennie’s gaze any longer and closed her eyes for a moment, after a stronger wave of fury hit her. Quickly, with much force, she tightened the tie around her neck and brought in place. She needed to get away from this girl but her upset emotions didn’t allow her to.

“Why have you been ignoring me after every kiss then?” Lisa left her place and went closer to Jennie, whose stance wasn’t as confident as it was before her outburst.

“After all they were just kisses, right? So, why?”

Jennie shook her head and hesitantly met Lisa’s blazing eyes.

“Not now, Lisa. My mother might come home soon,” the way her voice accomplished to stay even put gasoline into the fire. The soldier was a ticking bomb and close to detonate.

“Please go,” Jennie stepped back and opened the door of her room, looking expectantly at the soldier.

The creases of Lisa’s frown deepened and her scowl darkened as she looked into these seemingly empty brown catlike eyes which had fascinated her ever since.

She balled her hands into solid fists, clenching them until even her short nails started to dig into her skin.

Within her fury she wanted to haul words at her, let off steam, but she couldn’t utter a single sound. Without thinking any longer, she quickly passed the shorter girl, went down the stairs and shut the door as hard as she could.

Even though Jennie had expected such loud sound, her body still involuntarily twitched from the startle.

She sighed and took a deep breath in relief. Lisa had scared her, the dangerous vibes she emitted had an immediate effect on her.

With a thud she slumped down the door with her head resting on her arms. Despite what was going down just moments ago, her thoughts wandered back to the night prior.

She just couldn’t believe that she’d slept with a girl – with Lisa.

It was difficult to wrap her head around what she’d allowed the soldier to do to her. There wasn’t even a significant amount of alcohol involved which would excuse at least some of her actions.

Jennie shook her head vehemently to evade all the images and sensations, but she wasn’t able to forget the look in her eyes. It was haunting.

~~~

Lisa drove around aimlessly for hours now, smoking one after another despite her resolution to never smoke in her car. Her lungs ached from the continuous cancerous stream of smoke filling and leaving her lungs until the soldier herself started to feel repelled by the mere thought of smoking yet another.

But she continued because holding the steering wheel in one hand and the cigarette in the other were the only things which laid in her hand. It was her last straw, her desperate attempt to cling unto the control which Jennie had taken from her so mercilessly.

 Again.

 
Maybe irrevocably.

A mirthless laugh escaped Lisa into the cold cabin of her car.

What irony that the one thing she had craved for secretly for so long, was the thing that eventually stabbed her and continued to twist inside her.

She’d taken Jennie.

She wanted her and had gotten her.

On the first glance it seemed as if there was no need for Lisa to feel like she did, but the soldier knew, that it wasn’t her who used Jennie to satisfy her desire, to quench her curiosity.

It was Jennie who’d converted submission into control and who turned Lisa into a vulnerable mess and stripped her without taking off her clothes.

She tightened the grip around the steering wheel until her knuckles turned white. Her frown deepened and a faint headache started to echo through her skull due to the constant tension and bad quality of air.

The soldier hissed and took another drag, despising the taste within . But she did everything to evade and to drown out the blaring sadness inside her.

With undisputed certainness she knew that all it took was the feel of Jennie’s soft lips on hers to disperse the disgust she felt, to disperse her sorrows.

But it wasn’t just her lips – it was her whole being that she missed and craved for – as ridiculous as that might sound like.

The repeating thoughts of Jennie not being hers made the feeling of emptiness gradually worse.

Involuntarily, the soldier had plunged herself in an ocean where she couldn’t get out herself.
 

She was without compass and without knowledge since she’d never encountered such heaviness. Being dragged down, she couldn’t fully concentrate on driving, despite being in a region she’s not acquainted with after spending such a long time on the road. It was why she wasn’t prepared when a curve had turned out shaper than it initially seemed like and didn’t see the parking car coming.

Without another regard she let the cigarette fall, which burned into the passenger seat while her right hand flew to the steering wheel for stabilization as her feet were hitting the break and the clutch as hard as she could.

But it was too late, the road was too slippery from the snow and the cold temperatures.

All Lisa could register was the loud crash and the force with which she was catapulted forward.

~~~

Rosé activated her indicator and looked to the right and waited impatiently until the car passed. She put her foot all the way on the gas pedal, eliciting a squeaky sound of the wheels as they spun several times before they found their grip on the street.

When she was safely in lane, she quickly dialed a number on her phone and put it on speaker.

“Rosie?” Jennie answered her phone with a confused tone after it’d rung three times, “What’s up?”

“Jennie hey, listen,” Rosé wasted no time and spoke in a flat voice, “I won’t make it this afternoon,”

Before the baffled brunette could ask for the reason, Rosé already continued, “Lisa had gotten into a car accident, I’m on my way right now to her,”

Rosé’s voice trembled a little while retelling the news, being affected by the adrenaline and the reverberating scare from her friend.

The line went silent for a moment until Jennie spoke up again, her voice more urgent now, “Oh my god, is it bad? Is she ok? What happened?”

The questions erupted out of her without control in hopes to soothe her worries as soon as possible, but Rosé’s answer wasn’t giving her the comfort, “I-I don’t know,”

“She didn’t really tell me anything,” she continued as she brushed a strand of hair out of her face as she turned her head to see if the lane was free to switch.

“Where did it happen?”

“It’s quite far from here, somewhere in the south,”

“Then it’s in my direction, please pick me up, Rosie! I’ll wait right next to the road, you remember where I live, right?” Jennie said pleadingly, she really wanted to see Lisa in one piece with her own eyes.

“Jennie, I have to hurr-,”

“Please,” She cut her off, “It won’t take any time,” Rosé could almost feel the pout from her call and just couldn’t reject her.

“See you in five,”

~~~

“There,” Lisa handed the information of her insurance over to the older guy, whose car was completely demolished at the back. As he took it, he wanted to rant some more about her being so careless when a car approached them and parked right after them.

Lisa heaved a sigh of relief as she recognized the car Rosé drove – she just wanted to get out of there and take her mind off of this day which had actually succeeded in getting even worse.

The soldier was about to finish giving her signature, when the bright blonde dashed toward her and hugged her tight.

“Are you ok? Are you hurt?” she asked without a break and Lisa had to adjust to her for a moment before she could reciprocate the hug. She softened into it as it felt strangely so good to feel some kind of physical comfort and the display of care made her smile faintly.

“I’m alright, Chae-,” Lisa couldn’t finish her sentence when her eyes caught on the familiar figure of the brunette appearing from behind the parked car.

Lisa’s limbs went weak at the sight of her. Her heart picked up a beat and the light blonde had to end the hug after feeling how the soldier had stopped hugging her back.

“What’s Jennie doing here?” Lisa asked with a harsh tone while her gaze was fixed unto her.

“I called her on my way here, she was really worried about you,” Rosé answered her, oblivious to the anger that quivered in Lisa’s voice.

Jennie walked over to them with quick steps after her initial hesitation gave way to the sudden overwhelming feeling of relief seeing Lisa standing healthily in her line of vision.

“Are you alright? Are you hurt somewhere?” Jennie checked her outer appearance as she approached the two girls and halted right in front of the soldier. Her gaze went up and down, her eyes frantically scanning for some wounds but found none, fortunately.

“I’m ok,” Lisa replied with a cold voice and the frown Jennie had seen this morning was still in place.

“I’m so glad!” Disregarding Lisa’s rejecting stance, she went in and hugged the taller girl, pressing her tightly against her smaller body for a moment.

Even though Lisa didn’t reciprocate the hug, she internally had to spend a high amount of energy for resisting the urge to encircle Jennie’s waist with her arms and never letting her go again. Rosé saw her reaction to Jennie’s hug and shot her an unanswered questioning look.

After Jennie stepped back and ended her one-sided embrace, all of them were interrupted by the older guy, who still hadn’t left the scene.

“Were did you fine ladies come from?” Maybe Lisa was imagining things and maybe this man really just tried to be polite in his own way, but the soldier grew immediately defensive – especially because of Jennie.

“Back off, you got all the necessary information, so just get lost,” Lisa didn’t know why she reacted that way, but it made her break a nowadays very important rule: she was supposed to maintain a solid image of a noble soldier. But right now she displayed something entirely different – not the epitome of an elite cadet.

The older guy, however, was having none of that and was also not impressed by the uniform she wore.

“How are you talking to me, little girl?” he said in a condescending tone which made the blonde lash out at last. Her pupils had become infinitely smaller and she was ready to lunge forward in rage while curses were accompanying her.

Fortunately, Rosé and Jennie had been quick to catch up on her erratic behavior and held her back in time with all of their strength.

They called out to Lisa who didn’t hear them and only saw the belittling smile of that er.
Without saying anything, they managed to drag her off to the open passenger door of Rosé’s car.

“What was that?” Rosé asked with a stunned and concerned expression.

Irritated, Lisa shrugged off Rosé’s hand from her shoulder which had been on her shoulder to calm her down.

“Nothing at all,” The soldier snapped as she felt a sudden wave of dizziness hit her. Both girl immediately noticed it and helped her sit down, although she fought the helping hands.

“It’s nothing, let’s go,” Lisa didn’t spare a glance at either of them. Both girls exchanged a look, definitely not convinced by anything that came out of the soldier, but they complied nonetheless, with Rosé taking the driver’s seat and with Jennie settling in the seat behind Lisa.

The slamming of the doors amplified the pain in her head and she had a hard time suppressing the pain from being visible on her face.

The first minutes of the ride were quiet and awkward for Rosé and Jennie. For Lisa, however, it was flat out torture to be surrounded by the girl who had made such huge impression on her. For her own good and for the preservation of her sanity, she tried to escape the memories of yesterday night, even though the perfume of Jennie lingered in the air and made it all too palpable.

Rosé cut through her internal fight, “How did it happen?”

Lisa repeated the question in her head. And the answer was in the car, but that was nothing that should be shared or she would share. Ever.

Lisa exhaled loudly before she answered her, “I was distracted and the road was slippery,”

Her answer had been short and precise not just because she was annoyed but also because her head felt as if it’d be splitting in half any minute.

There were many more questions which Rosé wanted to know the answer to, but Lisa was apparently not in the mood and she didn’t want to push her luck when the soldier was like this. So instead, she just tried to engage both girls in light conversation.

In the back of the car, Jennie was glad when the conversation eventually died down and she could ponder her own reoccurring thoughts.

The news about Lisa’s car accident had made her put aside all of her thoughts, worries and resentments, but now that there was no danger anymore, everything toppled back to her.

Her gaze wandered to the soldier sitting in front of her. Her broad shoulder was lurking over the right side of the seat.

She could see the back of Lisa’s head and her eyes started to trace the strong jawline which she could make out when Lisa turner her head a little to look out of the window.

A sudden impulse to reach out for Lisa caught Jennie off guard, bit it was quick to vanish when she noticed that eyes had been staring at her.

Jennie quickly focused on the side mirror of the car, but there weren’t any to meet her gaze anymore.

The brunette couldn’t understand herself at the moment and was internally glad, that their gazes hadn’t locked.

After another twenty minutes of Rosé finally succumbing to Lisa’s coldness, they’d arrived at the soldier’s house.

Without further ado Lisa stormed out of the car with a weak goodbye.

Perplexed, Rosé stared in disbelief at her friend and then at Jennie, who didn’t mirror her bewildered expression.

She quickly followed her out of the car with Jennie watching her moves attentive from afar.

“Lisa?” Rosé stopped the blonde’s tracks with her incredulous voice just before she could climb up the stairs. Despite her seemingly infinite resources of bubbliness and carelessness, she was unusually tight lipped and grim looking.

“What?” Lisa only reluctantly and with a big sigh turned around to face her. Her headache made her dizzy, her world was spinning. She couldn’t think one coherent thought except for having the scent of Jennie’s fragrance stuck in her system.

“Can you explain it to me? I don’t get it,” Rosé said after she felt Lisa’s unfocused eyes on her for a moment. The soldier knew what it was about, but she was not in any state to discuss.

“Later Chaeng, not now,” she dismissed her in a weak tone and turned around again. The bright blonde, however, took some steps forward and caught her wrist, forcing the soldier to face her.

“I know that we haven’t known each other for years,” Rosé started suddenly, her voice sullen and solemn, “but I really like you, Lisa,”

Soft eyes met with hard ones as she said those words which astonished the soldier momentarily.

“I really wished you would trust me,”

Her last words were barely a whisper as she waited for a reaction which didn’t come.

With her gaze glued to the ground now, she slightly bobbed her head in defeat and was about to go back to the car, when Lisa spoke up in a rare gentler voice, “I’ll call you later, alright?”

Rosé went back with a small smile to the car where Jennie had been waiting and watching their whole encounter

~~~

“Where have you been?” Jennie was immediately confronted with this question before she could even do as much as step over the threshold.

“I’ve been with a friend,” She exhaled audibly, her voice monotone and exhausted. She didn’t even look at her mother as she proceeded to take off her shoes.

“You’ve been with her, haven’t you?” Her blood started to run colder the moment she’d heard that kind of voice again.

So spiteful and venomous. No matter how often it was directed at her, she would never get used to it or make it less hurting.

“I’ve been with Chaeyoung, Mom,” she dragged the last word and looked into her eyes, emphasizing to just drop it altogether. Her answer, however, had been useless – Jennie would never willingly introduce any of her friends to the last part of her family that she had left.

“Don’t lie to me!” her mother started to get louder again, shouting at her daughter was a common occurrence. The brunette couldn’t believe that it wasn’t even late afternoon and she could already smell the alcohol in her breath.

Whenever did she start to be against these kinds of relationships?

In the end, Jennie knew, she was simply her punching bag and with this topic she had another excuse to.

Jennie’s brows furrowed, the desperation in her face apparent but ignored.

She didn’t answer her and fled upstairs with tears b on the edge of her eyes.

She didn’t let them fall.

She was so tired.

~~~

Smoke encircled Jisoo and her lungs constricted, making her cough violently after accidentally inhaling too much of it at once. Since the snow continued to peacefully lay on the streets as the temperatures were below zero, the opportunity of the bar to smoke in an enclosed room wouldn’t be passed on – much to Jisoo’s displeasure. But it was Rosé and Jennie against her, so she had little say in that matter.

“I can’t believe that the midterms are around the corner,” Rosé slumped down dramatically on her arms laying on the round bar table.

“Don’t remind me,” Jennie sighed after she sipped on her fourth glass of aperol spritz.

Tonight she wanted to try something else and she liked it so far – her drink had an appealing vibrant red color. The bubbles in it made quick work to make her feel all light and fuzzy, just as she liked it – with no serious thoughts pestering her.

“I’ve heard that they are supposed to be easier,” Jisoo chirped in after she got back to normal breathing.

“Really? What, how?” a glimmer of hope lit in Rosé’s eyes and her body was suddenly filled with vitality again.

“Because of the soldiers in all the classes now,” the oldest of them replied after swirling her sect, “at least they’re good for that,” she added under her breath.

“Oh my god, this is so amazing!” Rosé was ecstatic, she was always having a hard time with her studies and this just promised to turn out great for a change.

She threw her arms in the air and afterwards around Jisoo, who was sitting close next to her and who started to giggle at her actions.

“I’m not sure though, don’t get your hopes up,” she placed her hand over Rosé’s which was caressing the length of her right, uncovered arm.

“Shouldn’t Lisa know anything about it?” the bright blonde brought up the soldier for the very first time after dropping her off, it actually startled Jennie. She’d been hellbent on forgetting about everything and at first she seemed to be able to, but it apparently wasn’t for good.

Even though the question wasn’t directed at anyone in particular, Rosé was staring expectantly at Jennie.

She, however, only shrugged with her shoulders in response, acting distracted by her drink and cigarette.

“She was weird today, wasn’t she?” Rosé remained snuggled against Jisoo who already tuned out and focused on the feel of the soft hands beneath hers. She felt her cheeks heating up which, fortunately, went unnoticed due to the lights being all low.

“Isn’t she always?” It was a weak answer and half meant as a joke, but Jennie was buzzed already and she really didn’t want to think about any of that right now.

The girl in front of her narrowed her eyes at that and at last voiced out the question which had bothered her for a while now, “Whatever happened between you two?”

“Nothing,” Jennie recoiled quickly from the unexpected blunt question and was impressed just how nonchalant she’d managed to sound.

Rosé straightened her posture and detangled herself out of Jisoo’s arms, “You two were so close and now there’s so much tension.” She wasn’t timid with her statement and now that Jisoo wasn’t preoccupied with her touches anymore, her ears perked up.

“Tension?” she asked incredulously, “ual tension?” her eyes were wide, alternating between Rosé and a now flustered Jennie, where not even the dim lights were able to hide her state from the girls.

“What? No! This is Lisa we’re talking about, guys,” Jennie lost her cool and the shift from being buzzed to being shaken wasn’t a pleasant one. She felt caught, embarrassed – nothing she should feel.

A nervous smile played on her lips as she tried to disperse their weird thoughts, but it was to no avail.

“That’s exactly why. What’s about it then?” Jennie cursed under her breath. Since when was Rosé so adamant about something?

“I tell you, it’s nothing. So quit it, I want to drink in peace,” the brunette snuffed the cigarette out in the ash tray with force and busied herself with drinking the last drop of her beverage while both of her friends started to get even more curious.

“How about I’ll call Lisa then?” an evil grin appeared on Rosé’s face and Jisoo stared in amazement at the girl, seemingly approving of her idea. All of them had their share of alcohol and no one seemed to think with a clear mind anymore.

Jennie arched a brow as she put the glass on the table again. She wouldn’t dare bringing her into this, but Rosé seemed to have a brave day today as she was dialing Lisa’s number already.

“Lisa?” the bright blonde grabbed the phone with both her hands, her voice loud over the music of the bar. There was a glimmer of mischief shining brightly in her eyes as she stared at nothing special while concentrating on her call.

“You know,” she couldn’t suppress the giggle bubbling in and even though Jennie tried to act uninterested, she strained her ears in vain effort to hear what the caller on the other line was saying. She bet Lisa was pissed.

“What’s with you and Jennie? She won’t say a thi-,” she couldn’t finish the sentence.

“We’re in a bar, drinking. Jisoo’s with us, too,” she started to play with the saucer of her drink, while grinning like a drunken idiot.

“You should come to us!” she exclaimed suddenly and caused Jennie’s heart to stop beating. With a stern and demanding look she gaped at Rosé who wasn’t fazed by it in the least bit. It was just so obvious that there was something brooding between the soldier and the brunette.

“Oh yeah… your car,” her heart only then started to beat again after remembering that Lisa’s car was somewhere in a repair shop.

“Hey,” Jennie was unable to further follow the conversation as she felt someone tap her shoulder form behind.

It was a tall, tanned guy flashing her a self-assured smirk. He wanted to buy her a drink, which she politely declined.

It was, however, only after three more attempts that he finally decided to slander off.

Just who was tanned in the middle of this cold cold weather?

Jennie tried to shrug off the uneasy feeling coming from the place his hand had touched and turned around to Rosé gathering her things with the biggest grin.

~~~

No, she didn’t want that.

She didn’t want to face Lisa, the girl she’d slept with the night before.

But if there was something she wanted even less than to confront her problem without weapons, it was her mother.

So she had no choice but to give into the wicked ways Rosé’s brain worked with, which had thought that it was an amazing idea to just visit Lisa instead. Any protests were met with deaf ears and thus she found herself on the step to Lisa’s apartment.

It was weird. Jisoo never had been fond of the soldier. Jennie would even go as far as to say that she outright despised her.

But now?

Now she just went along with the whims of the bright blonde, even though it included going to the person she didn’t like.

No, she didn’t just go along, she right on took her side.

Whatever made Rosé so brave anyways? Was it the two consecutive shots they’d taken before they went on their way to the blonde? Or was their friendship really as close?

Rosé rung the doorbell and was giddy despite feeling the bad vibes coming off of Jennie in waves.

Steps could be heard until the lock clicked and Lisa appeared with her brows furrowed, seeing the three girls standing in front of her porch.

“You can’t be serious,” was all the soldier could utter. She was about to slam the door into their faces but was incapable to since her so-called friend put a hand against it.

“Surprise visit!”

“What are you doing here?” Lisa’s pose relaxed slightly as she leaned with crossed arms against the door frame. The stern gaze remained on her face, however.

Jennie stood back, almost hiding, and watched Rosie go about this.

“Here,” the jolly girl reached backwards and pulled Jennie right in front of Lisa. She almost stumbled right into her hands due to her high heels.

“Sort your issues, we won’t leave ‘til you do,”

“Guys, just stop it!” Jennie protested and started to get seriously annoyed by this pushy behavior.

But Rosé, with Jisoo as her backup, remained determined. Lisa wondered if that really mattered so much to them or if they’ve been flat out drunk and bored.

“You know what,” Jennie had been discussing with them for some minutes now and she had enough.

“Fine, if you leave us alone, we’ll sort it out,” Jennie said annoyed but only received triumphant cheers in response, which still echoed in the quiet night when they were already gone.

The brunette had intently watched them go to pull herself together while being so close to the soldier. When she turned around, Lisa’s cold eyes matched the temperature outside of which she was getting chills from.

Before she could open , Lisa had cut her to it, “I’ve got nothing to say to you,”

And with that she slammed the door close in front of Jennie, leaving the girl shocked and bewildered.