Jongin was broken for days after his talk with Sehun. He forgot about hunger and thirst, ice and snow, happiness and sadness - he was empty, just like his alpha was in his dreams.

At some point, his brain started to isolate him from reality, send him to a world where Sehun doesn't reject him.

Every time he spaced out during work he had visions - sometimes he would see himself, holding the omega close, without anything else happening - just the two of them, providing comfort to each other.

Once he saw his future of a pack leader with the white wolf by his side, welcoming him after a hunt.

Usually, he would get to know Sehun more in those visions - see his smile when his first article got published or go back in time when he was living in the tribal lands, enjoying a calm afternoon by the river. Everything was painfully realistic, the colours so vivid, the shadows so sharp that he was sure something superior was giving him the chance to know the omega, because Sehun was nowhere near close to opening to Jongin in real life.

And then, this once he saw the blonde male in another light, a side of him that only existed when he was just a boy and then eventually ( hopefully not ) died out.

Sehun, in the vision no more than 12 years old, was holding a Canary bird in his hands, petting it's soft, glossy feathers. He looked calm, under the thigh shade of a walnut tree big enough for its branches to stretch outside the fence that was circling the garden.

 A second later there was Jongin himself, in front of the small door of the fence with Wonsik by his side and two unknown alphas around their age, angrily meeting them at the entrance.

Then, the vision blended with Jongin's own memory.  That moment he knew he first met Sehun 10 years ago and that was when he fell for him - an omega that took care for what he had lost and also one that talked four alphas into avoiding a fight. He remembered how wrong it felt when Sehun's brothers said he never leaves the house and how he wanted to show him the world, even if he didn't know what such worlds meant back then.

He remembered falling for an omega a future head alpha needed by his side - gentle, clever loving and humble, but also brave enough to oppose alphas, be it his brothers.

It was not just him that needed Sehun to be his mate. It was the whole pack that needed an omega like him to take care of their alpha.

And that only made Jongin's pain and distress stronger.

***

Christmas Eve was not Jongin's favourite time of the year. Not anymore.

The last few years every family gathering turned out to be a disaster - the pressuring conversations about how he hasn't found a mate yet were held half dinner long.

And, now that his sister found her other half, he himself started feeling out of place with his loner status. There were his parents, his grandparents and his sister, all of them sharing the emotions the holiday brought with their significant others. And there was the empty chair next to him on the table.

Would Sehun fit here? He thought.

Sehun had ash blond hair, beautiful smile, shy but friendly character and a cute lisp that made listening to his stories even more engaging.

His grandmother and his father would've liked that he is independent ( a little bit too much at this point ) and his sister would've loved to discuss some fashion trends with him.

Barely knowing the story of his life Jongin guesses that the omega was a good cook, so his mother would've been happy to see her son - in - law help her in the kitchen.

Only if he was here, Jongin would have been so willing to live Christmas Eve at it's fullest, while now he was just constantly circling the edge of his wine cup with his finger, never caring about the toxic sound.

' There is someone. ' he said out of nothing at some point in the middle of the third Christmas concert they were listening to. ' But… for now, he doesn't really want to have anything to do with me. '

' Weren't you concerned that all omegas want you because of your status? Now you play rejected... ' his grandfather mumbled under his nose, dissatisfied.

' He… didn't actually reject me, I haven't tried courting him yet but… he is negative about alphas, generally. ' Jongin tried to explain, although he himself didn't know Sehun's exact reasons.

' Honey, it's too late for you to spend too much time in love games. Choice some good omega, someone neat and of a good family and mate him, don't waste time. ' his mother said softly, but with a judging look on her face. ' A head alpha needs authority and what authority does a lone alpha have? How can you take care of a pack if you haven't proved that you can handle a family? '

Kai was silent. He was looking down at his plate like a pup that's being scolded. And he kind of wanted to cry - they disliked Sehun, already.

' Is… is he special? ' his father asked, a stoic expression on his face, masking the true behind his question.

' I believe he is my soulmate. ' Jongin whispered, making everyone fall silent. ' I actually told him things. I told him I've been having dreams, I've been searching for his smell subconsciously… he never said that he didn't feel a pull to me too, but he didn't let me prove it either. ' the young alpha whispered, sadness and regret radiating from him, making the family bond burn with feelings and thoughts.

' Omegas are not usually this secretive… ' his sister noted.

' They are not. ' the young male nodded with a sigh.

***

Christmas morning came faster than expected - Sehun woke up to the barks of his dog, Vivi, which was probably alarmed by the arriv