It was always easier said than done. If Heejin barely even looked at her, and they didn’t have a proper conversation in who knew how long, how was Hyunjin going to apologize? 

Obviously, sprinting to her room every time she noticed Heejin was walking around the house wouldn’t get her anywhere near what she wanted to do. But her body would always panic and send her to safety, instead of facing it. When she thought she was ready and went back, Heejin was already in her room.  

Hyunjin let her body fall to the nearest chair, wondering what in the world was she doing. Mid-term exams were over by now, but she shouldn’t slack off. She should be in her room, studying, focusing on what should be her priority. But if only it worked like that.  

She noticed a way too familiar box where she always kept her bread. She stood up and opened it, revealing her so loved and missed chocolate bread. Hyunjin couldn’t hold a smile, but when she remembered Heejin didn’t bring her bread anymore, she closed the box. It must be for her. 

Sighing, she made her way back to her room. 

“I said I don’t wanna go!” 

Hyunjin froze, her hand on her doorknob. The only time she heard Heejin screaming like that was when she was having nightmares, but this time, it sounded even more painful. She waited, expecting something else, but there was silence now. She couldn’t just go to her room and pretend she heard nothing, so she approached Heejin’s door, and the faint sob felt like a shot through the heart. She was crying, and Hyunjin had no idea what had happened, but she wanted so bad to be there for her.  

“ t-this .” Hyunjin heard her saying, her voice quivering and failing. 

Hyunjin knocked, and when there was no answer, she tried again. “H-Hey, Heejin?” 

Heejin sniffed. “What?” 

“I heard you screaming, are you okay?” 

“Yes.” 

Hyunjin bit her lip. “If you need something, I’ll be in my room.” 

She should have just gone to her room in the first place. It was clear that Heejin didn’t want to see her, talk to her, hear her voice- 

Heejin’s door flew open, making Hyunjin almost jump as she was about to step in her room. 

“Hyunjin,” she called, her voice barely a whisper, so weak Hyunjin felt like running and hugging her. They stood, eyes locked on each other’s. “Can you... play something for me?” 

It didn’t matter what happened now, what had happened, or what could happen, Hyunjin would never reject that request. 

It felt like deja vu, Hyunjin looking down at her keyboard while Heejin waited, sitting on her bed with her cat plushie. None said a word. There was a specific song Hyunjin wanted to play and sing.  

She let her eyes close as her voice filled the room, reciting the words she wrote thinking about Heejin, and she wished she could see her face. She could actually, but for sure that the second that would happen, she would lose focus and ruin everything. 

There was silence as she finished, taking a deep breath. Had Heejin fallen asleep? Hyunjin  the bench and tears ran down Heejin’s cheeks. 

“W-Why are you crying?” 

“Just...” Heejin sobbed, and Hyunjin ran to sit next to her, hesitating, but reaching for her cheeks to clean the tears away. “That was so beautiful.” 

“You’re crying because my song was beautiful?” Hyunjin frowned. 

“T-The song is yours? Did you write that?” 

Hyunjin nodded, and Heejin sobbed again. “I’m sorry, this is ridiculous.” 

“No, it’s okay, cry as much as you like,” Hyunjin said, and as Heejin raised her head to look at her, she laughed. “I-I mean, cry what you need.” 

“Thank you, Hyunjin. I really needed that. I feel so much calmer now.” Heejin leaned back against the wall, bringing the plushie closer to her chest. “And I’m sorry-” 

“No, Heejin, I am sorry.” 

There was a pause, and Hyunjin felt like her heart wanted to jump from her chest from how much she wanted to say it. 

“I’m sorry, I was rude, I was judgmental, I acted like -” 

“Hey, don’t say that.” Heejin grabbed her hand. 

“But it’s true. You did nothing wrong, and what I did was completely disproportionate. I caused all of this, if it wasn’t for the way I talked to you nothing would have happened, and I really didn’t want any of this, I never did.” She didn’t notice, but with each word, she squeezed Heejin’s hand on hers tighter and tighter.  

“Can you explain what you were feeling that day?” 

Hyunjin gulped and looked down.  

“I don’t know, I overreacted. I guess it was because of the lack of sleep, I wasn’t thinking properly, and instead of trying to remain calm and listen to you, I lashed out. You explained, you apologized, and you were right. The only thing I had to do was accept your apology and this wouldn’t have happened. I’m really sorry, Heejin.” 

“You’re forgiven.”  

With only those words, it felt like the weight of the world was taken off Hyunjin’s back, as she sighed and fought sudden tears. 

“Was there any other reason?” Heejin asked, “For the way you reacted.” 

Oh, there was. She just had to say it, all that she wanted to tell Heejin that same night, everything that was pressing on her chest. 

“No.” Hyunjin clenched her jaw. Why was she such a coward?! “Why? Did you think there could be something else?” 

“Actually, yes. I’m sorry, it’s a bit embarrassing...” Heejin avoided her eyes, and for some reason, Hyunjin’s heart beat harder. “I mean no offense, I was just afraid that you could, you know, feel uncomfortable because I was with another girl and you might be someone who... didn’t take that very well.” 

Heat creeped under Hyunjin’s face. “No, no, it’s nothing like that! I actually... play for the same team. So it’s nothing like that, really, don’t worry!” Maybe she said that a bit too enthusiastically, or just so Heejin could be sure of it, but at least she looked at her with a growing smile that became a light laugh. 

“That’s good then.” 

“I’m sorry if I came across like that, I must have been really rude.” 

“No, I just tend to overthink things. I remember you mentioned Jinsol moved in with Jungeun and you never seemed bothered by it, but I was still afraid, because you’re living with me and I was feeling really self-conscious that I made you uncomfortable and that you could hate me.” 

“I could never hate you,” Hyunjin blurted, feeling her face warming up even more, if that was possible. “Can I... just ask you a question?” 

“Go ahead.” 

“What exactly is your relationship with Jiwoo? I don’t mean to offend you either, but, is that frequent? I mean, you sleeping with friends. I’m not judging! But because I kinda did, I want to understand it better, and so I know who to expect around the house and... yeah.” 

There was also a different shade on Heejin’s cheeks, and Hyunjin hoped she didn’t mess up again. 

“It’s not frequent, and it doesn’t happen with anyone else. I’ve never been a person to sleep around, it’s just a bit different with Jiwoo because, as I told you, we’ve been great friends since high school, and even though we never dated because there wasn’t that kind of feeling between us, there was always attraction, so this was not the first time that happened. But because we drank and haven’t seen each other in a while, well, it just happened, I guess.” 

Hyunjin didn’t know how to feel about that information. Happy that Jiwoo is someone she can trust and a good friend, or devastated to know that it’s something that had already happened, and could perfectly happen again? Her head seemed to spin, but she forced Hyejoo’s words into her brain.  

“In fact, Jiwoo has a girlfriend.” 

“She what?”  

Heejin laughed. “She has a girlfriend, Sooyoung. They have an open relationship.” 

Hyunjin blinked. If Jiwoo had a girlfriend and slept with Heejin, then it was completely possible for Heejin to still be interested in her, right? Just like Hyejoo said. 

“I think It’s amazing how much they trust and love each other, that it doesn’t matter if one of them spends a night with someone else, it doesn’t change the way they love each other.” 

Hyunjin nodded. “Thank you for answering and not judging me. And I’m sorry.” 

“No, it’s okay, you don’t need to apologize. I understand you were also worried about me.” 

Of course she was. That also reminded her... “C-Can I ask you another question?” Heejin smiled and nodded. “Did something happen? Because you were screaming before.” 

“Oh, that...” Heejin sighed. “It was my mother.” 

“Did you fight?” 

“We don’t get along well.” 

Hyunjin clenched her hand around Heejin’s. “I’m sorry to hear that.” 

“In fact, can I... talk it out with you?” 

“Y-Yes!” Hyunjin’s heart jumped. “I’m here, say whatever you feel like.” 

“She pisses me off so much. I’m not even living in the same house anymore, I thought things would get better for me, but she still makes sure I feel bad! Why? Why can’t she just let me be?!” Heejin exploded, her low toned voice loud and filled with so much pain it pierced Hyunjin’s whole body. 

Since she had no idea what to answer to that, and a single tear escaped Heejin’s eye, Hyunjin pulled her close, circling her arms around her shoulders. 

“I don’t know what happened, but you’re here, and I’m here for you, don’t let it get to you, whatever it is, she doesn’t deserve you feeling like this.” 

Heejin squeezed her body so much she stopped breathing for a second, but it felt so damn good Hyunjin didn’t want to let go of her. But Heejin did, cleared her eyes once again, and held on Hyunjin’s hands. 

“My parents were always fighting when I was a child. I used to run to my room and hide under the covers, but I still could listen to them, screaming, calling each other names. There were times they did this late at night, and I would wake up to it.” 

“Is that why you have such a hard time sleeping?” Hyunjin asked. 

“Yes. They never cared much about me unless it was school related. There was a time I even wondered if they liked me at all.” Heejin scoffed, shaking her head. “I had to get good grades, don’t get myself into problems, be a good girl. When I was in the last year of high school, I told them I wanted to go to a dance school and pursue that, but they didn’t let me. They said I had to get to the best college, go to medical school or some bull like that. I never wanted that, but my mother said she wouldn’t support me otherwise. We fought a lot at that time, and she said that if I didn’t change my mind, I could get a job and leave. And that’s what I did.” 

Hyunjin was at a loss of words. 

“The fact that she found out I like girls didn’t help at all,” Heejin continued, “she caught me kissing Jiwoo one time, and I seriously don’t know how she didn’t hit me that day. But that was just another way she found to try to manipulate me, saying I was a disappointment and a failure, to try to get to me. It didn’t really work her way, but she still tries. She calls me to ask when I’m going to go to college, that I’m running out of time, and that if I don’t go, I’ll never be successful in life and she will not help me. I don’t even want to pick up when she calls me, and I instantly get so anxious, but I’m afraid of what she could do if I start to ignore her.” 

“Heejin,” Hyunjin fidgeted in her place, moving closer to her. “I can’t believe you went through all of that. Someone like you doesn’t and never will deserve parents like that. You deserve the best in this world, and whatever is in my power to make you happy and to see a smile on your face, I’ll do it. I’m so glad you were brave and took that decision.” 

They stared at each other in silence. Hyunjin had no idea if she said the right thing, but it was the first thing that came to her mind to say. 

“I can’t say I wasn’t afraid, but I’m also so glad I did it. Since I didn’t have much time to leave, I couldn’t even look for a proper place to stay, so the house I was in was in bad conditions, and my roommates were loud and rude. But at least I found a good job and I managed to save some money, and now I’m here, and I got to know you and have you as my roommate. And I couldn’t ask for anything else.” 

Hyunjin didn’t know why, but it was in that exact moment, while staring into her eyes, that she could say without any doubt that she was so madly in love with Heejin. Maybe because Heejin seemed to look at her with the same spark in her eyes, eyes that jumped from Hyunjin’s and her lips. Lips that pressed together as Heejin’s gulp ringed in her ears, and she couldn’t stop her own eyes to stare down. It’s not like she hadn’t looked at Heejin’s lips before, but every time she did, she wondered how could someone have lips so pretty, with such a sharp and defined cupid’s bow, like they had been hand drawn to fit perfectly on her face, but, above all this, how would they feel against her own. 

“I-I brought you bread,” Heejin said, and Hyunjin snapped back. 

“It’s for me?” 

“Of course, it’s chocolate bread.” 

Hyunjin wiped a fake tear and sniffed. “Thank you so much, Heejin. I missed the bread a lot.” 

“Didn’t you miss me?” 

“Maybe a bit, but not more than the bread.” 

“Liar.” 

“Oh?” Hyunjin irked an eyebrow. “You’re confident.” 

“Yes, and I’m right.” 

“Alright, you are.” 

Heejin smirked, and let her body fall, hitting the mattress. “I’m sleeping here tonight.” 

“Wow, you’re kicking me out of my room?” 

“With you.” 

What in the world was happening, Hyunjin didn’t know. But she let her own body lay down next to Heejin, staring at the ceiling instead. She didn’t know what would happen if she turned to face her. 

“I didn’t know you sang,” Heejin said, and she was so close she could feel her breathing on her neck. 

“I didn’t know you danced.” 

“It’s been a while, with everything. But I miss it. It was one of the few things that made me happy.” 

“You need to get back to it. You can now.” 

There was silence, and Hyunjin dared move her neck a bit, just until she could meet Heejin’s eyes. 

“I’ll think about it.” 

“Promise me you really will think.”  

Heejin smiled. “I do promise. And thank you, Hyunjin. For listening to me, for being here to me.” 

A stomach rumbled, and even though Hyunjin was hungry, she was sure it was not hers. 

“You hungry?” She asked. 

“Yeah, I was about to go cook something when my mother called me.” 

“Let’s make something and eat together, then.” 

“But I’m so comfortable.” Heejin pouted. 

Hyunjin stood up to hide the silly grin on her lips. “Do you want me to bring you something? My kimchi stew?” 

Heejin’s eyes grew big. “I’ll go with you. It’s been a while since we cooked and had a meal together.” 

Indeed, Hyunjin missed it so much, just like she missed watching something together, then drink their tea before bed, and going to bed together. Hyunjin was so happy, Heejin didn’t even need to ask her to aeong. She did it herself, just so she could see Heejin smile one more time. 

“Can you sing something for me?” Heejin asked as Hyunjin got under the blanket. 

“Like a lullaby?” She chuckled. 

Heejin raised Hyunjin’s arm and s it around herself, resting her head on her shoulder. 

“The song you sang before. I wanna hear it again.” 

Heejin closed her eyes, waiting, and fearing that she could hear Hyunjin’s heartbeat, she complied to her request without a question. Maybe Hyunjin was so focused on her singing, or in admiring Heejin’s face, that she didn’t realize her own hand caressing her hair. 

“When did you write that song?” 

“Not long ago.”  

“Were you thinking of someone when you wrote it?” 

Hyunjin hesitated. “Yes.” 

Say it. 

“That’s one lucky person.” Say it. “I would love something like that.” 

Say it, god damnit! 

But her vocal cords refused to work now, and she was forcing them so much she almost choked. 

“Thank you, Hyunjin. I’ll sleep well tonight thanks to you.” 

“I-I hope you do.” 

“Good night.” 

“Good night, Heejin.” 

She turned off the light and stared at the gleaming stars in her ceiling. She had always loved to look at the stars at night, and the moon, especially when it was full.  

Dark locks tangled around her fingers, and Hyunjin wished she could stay like that forever. 

Maybe not, because there was so much she wanted to do with Heejin. Like actually stargazing, laying down on fluffy grass. 

So instead, Hyunjin wished she had the courage to tell her how much she loved her. 

---

A/N: did someone order a big dose of fluff? c':

I hope you loved this chapter as much as I loved writing it. Revealing backstory is one of my favorite things to write, to let you guys to know what the character's have been through. 

Now we only need to know if Hyunjin has the courage to let Heejin know she's the one lucky person ^-^