At some point, I knew I had to face the way I felt about Jennie, and the fact that it was mutual. This wasn’t a fairytale. This was a real person with real feelings, and even though I wasn’t guaranteed a happy ending, a decision needed to be made.

I trembled as I helped Appa pack for our camping trip. When I was done, I’d go to Jennie’s house and join her family for a late breakfast. Then we’d go to the theme park for the day, get home around six, and Jennie and I would go with my Dad and BoA to a campground she had experience with. I wasn’t sure which terrified me more: roller coasters, sleeping in a tent in an unfamiliar area, or the fact that I was doing both in one day with Jennie.

I packed painstakingly slowly. Hoony texted me through it. I wondered if he was nervous for me. Even if he didn’t like to admit it, I knew I was his best friend. And I also knew that watching him go through what I was going through now wouldn’t exactly be a cakewalk. Hoony and I had countless conversations about staying detached from people outside of our families, and yet here we were, attached to each other. But at least I knew Hoony was going to be around for a while.

I got my first moment of peace in a while on the way to the park. I’d grown afraid of car trips with Jennie, but with her mother and father in the car with us and both of them sporting high numbers on their left cheek, I had somewhat of a guarantee for the first time that there would be no car related incidents today.

Jennie and I sat in the backseat, behind her driving father and I behind her mother. I rested my head against the window and watched the trees on the side of the road blow past us. My hand, almost unconsciously, stretched out toward the center of the seat, occasionally making contact with Jennie’s fingertips. Her doing. She’d made it clear the other night that as long as I was the one doing the rejecting, I wasn’t allowed to also do the flirting. I supposed that was fair. I couldn’t have it both ways.

I took my forehead off of the window and looked over at her. Her gaze was on the view of the body of water just a football field’s distance from us, and when she used the hand that wasn’t playing with mine to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, I could see her smiling.

“This is beautiful,” she murmured, awestruck. “Isn’t it?”

Still staring at her, I had to work hard to avoid agreeing with her in the cheesiest, most cliché manner ever recorded by modern humanity. But 2000-era romance movies suddenly seemed less contrived and annoying.

Instead, I sighed and turned away, pressing my forehead to the glass window again. Then I pulled away and drove my head forward until my forehead met the glass again with a small “thunk”.

It didn’t help.

* * *

Despite spending my whole life in Hongdae, just an hour away from Lotte World, I have never been there before. An hour in, it was very clear to me why that was.

Jennie pulled me through the park, blowing past stands for funnel cakes and booths sporting games that offered stuffed animal prizes. She eyed the rides around us like a kid in a candy store. She’d tried to get me warmed up with a few meant for small children, which was pretty embarrassing, but it hadn’t really worked. Next had been Bumper Cars, which was the highlight so far. The spinning tea cups afterward had made me nauseous, but getting that one over with early on was probably for the best given that I’d been getting hungry.

“Why don’t we do one to cool you down, and then we’ll ease into the coasters?” she eventually suggested.

“I can’t do coasters,” I insisted. “I really can’t.”

“Just one,” she pressed. “For me? Please?”

She reached out and squeezed my hand, and I gave in when I realized she was about to go for an over-exaggerated pout. “One.”

“Yes! I’ll take it! And since you’ve never been on any before, who knows? You might actually like it.”

“I won’t,” I insisted, but she was already dragging me off again. Her “cool-down ride” idea was literal. We stepped into line for a ride down a river in an eight-man circular raft behind three guys that looked about our age, and thirty minutes later we were still only three-quarters of the way to the front of the line. Right around then was when one of the guys noticed us.

We were sitting side by side on the top of the wooden fence meant to keep us neatly organized in our immobile line. Jennie was swinging her feet back and forth beneath herself and accidentally lost control of her momentum, sending herself backwards with a loud squeal. With my help, she caught herself before she actually fell, but that didn’t stop my heart from going haywire in the milliseconds between her fall and our joint save.

“Whoa, you okay?” one of the guys in front of us asked her. He gave his head a sharp shake to get his shaggy brown hair out of his eyes, and I hid a grin. Two seconds had passed and he already couldn’t take his eyes off of Jennie.

Jennie, to her credit, played it off like a champ. “Yeah, totally fine. I meant to do that.”

He laughed at her joke like it was much funnier than it was, and she smiled back. “Cool. So are you guys from around here?”

“Hongdae,” Jennie confirmed. “I’m Jennie. This is my friend Lisa.”

“I’m Kai. These are my best friends Chanyeol and Sehun. We’re here with Chanyeol parents on vacation.”

“How do you like it here so far?”

Kai grinned widely. “It’s awesome.” He leaned in closer, like he didn’t want anyone to overhear, and added, “The girls here in Seoul are, like, really hot. It’s like you guys are all models or something.”

“I know, right?” Jennie agreed. That made Kai and his friends laugh. I turned away and tuned them out, frustrated that she was even humoring them wh