Having Hoony around made everything much easier that week. It made life in general feel so much more manageable. And during that week, I think I finally started to realize that just spending time in the presence of a single person over and over again didn’t necessarily make them a friend.

Hoony’d been a person in my life, and he’d been someone to talk to about our shared experience, but we hadn’t ever really clicked just because we could. Days spent playing laser tag or reading comic books together had been few and far between and had completely stopped right before I’d met Jennie. I’d forgotten what it was like to have a real friend before her. I’d figured Hoony was it: someone I just went through the motions with. Someone I just spent time with, even if most of the time I didn’t enjoy it, and even if it didn’t make me feel particularly good.

Jennie made me feel good. And Hoony would never be Jennie, but knowing that he was there for me, and that he was trying to bite his tongue when his more cynical side started to show, and that he actually cared about what happened to Jennie, made me think I could eventually be okay when she was gone. Like maybe he could actually be a friend I’d enjoy having around, and like instead of being a fleeting streak of color in my black and white world, Jennie’d started a new era where I could see more than just a few different shades.

I considered giving up old movies.

I considered kissing her the next time I saw her.

* * *

BoA stayed over the night before we were due to go camping. She, Dad, and I made polite conversation over dinner, and then Dad picked out a movie and went to go pop popcorn, leaving me and BoA alone in the living room.

“That’s a nice shirt,” she told me, breaking a long and awkward silence. I glanced down at my oversized jammies shirt and forced a laugh.

“Thanks.”

I sat back in the small chair I’d been relegated to and stretched my legs, letting out a yawn. Tomorrow was a big day. It was the first day I’d get to really see Jennie again. The last thing I wanted to do was spend the night beforehand staying up late to watch a movie with my father and his girlfriend, but I felt like I had some ground to make up with my dad. The least I could do was pretend to stay awake through a movie.

“How is your friend? Have you heard from her?” BoA asked me.

I tilted my head back and forth and listened to my neck creak. Then I cracked a couple of knuckles. Finally, I said, “She’s okay now.” I paused, and then added, “I didn’t know Dad told you about that.”

“Well, I’m glad he did.”

I snorted and shifted to face her. “Why? You hardly even know Jennie.”

“I know she’s a good friend of yours.”

“Yeah, but you hardly know me, either,” I pointed out. She looked pained, and opened to say something else, but Dad reentered the room, two bowls of popcorn in his hands. He set one down on my lap and then moved to sit beside BoA with the other.

“Alright, let’s get this thing rolling,” he said, and raised the remote to point it at the television. He pressed play, and the movie began.

I drifted off halfway through, somewhere between daydreaming about Jennie and me alone in a tent and remembering what it’d felt like to look out at the water and not see her there.

When my dad shook me awake at the end of the movie, I couldn’t remember which had made my heart pound faster.

* * *

Jennie rang our doorbell at nine in the morning the next day, while I was halfway through putting my hair up in my bathroom. I abandoned it instantly to race downstairs and throw open the front door.

She was there, a backpack on and sporting a gummy smile that mirrored my own. When she launched herself forward into my arms, I was mostly ready, and when she threw her arms around me, I hugged her back even tighter. Her lips brushed against my shoulder as she murmured, “I missed you,” and for a moment, everything felt right in my world.

Then she pulled away, caught sight of my hair, and literally pointed and laughed at me. I swatted at her arm and tugged at the elastic that’d been holding my hair half-up. With a quick pull, it was released, and down fell my hair in every direction, making Jennie laugh harder.

“I’ve missed you, too,” I deadpanned.

She grabbed my hand and led me upstairs, declaring, “I’m going to help you get ready.” 

And that was how five minutes later I found myself sitting on a stool in my bathroom with Jennie’s face inches from mine and an eyeliner pencil pressed to my eyelid.

“This seems unnecessary. We’re going camping,” I pointed out.

“Don’t complain; I’m doing it for you,” was all she said.

I closed my mouth and let her finish. Her face was far too close to mine for me to truly be complaining, and to be honest, I kind of liked the attention.

“God, you’re beautiful,” she sighed out. “If I wasn’t so busy wanting you, I’d so want to be you.”

“I missed you,” I told her again, and then watched her reach for a container of lip balm in my makeup bag. She dipped her index finger inside and then looked directly at me for a moment before her gaze dropped to my lips.

“Open.”

I laughed at first, and then what she was asking sank in and I barely managed to choke out a “What?”

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