He didn't know what he was thinking when he asked to meet Jinki.

Seeing the older man with his own two eyes after all those years somehow caused him to act recklessly. The moments the words left his mouth, he wanted to take it back. But now, it was too late for all of that. He had to face this head-on. And maybe it was time to. 

Kibum walks up to the gate leading to the Lee farm--a place that he was surprised still brought him an immense feeling of comfort. Being here brought back a lot of memories. The wind hits his face, as cool and welcoming as he remembers it to be. He could see their hill in the distance, and his mind couldn't help but go back to the hundreds of sunsets they watched there together.

The grass underneath them was a bit warm today from the rays of the sun--nothing that Kibum's picnic blanket couldn't fix. Summer was near and there were fireflies closeby. The younger man chuckles as Jinki finally gives up on trying to catch one. Both of them settle beside each other and lift their eyes to the sky to admire their favorite part of the day. These colors were their favorite. They agreed that it was always the prettiest before any of the pink and purple hues made it into their skyline canvas. The way the green grass met the orange light of the sun and the light blue of the sky gave them a sense of security. It was like a promise that a new day was coming and that everything was going to be alright.

The past few days have been extremely stressful. Early as it was, Kibum was already hell-bent on getting a scholarship to a good university. He was busy researching what kinds of grades he needed to hit and what kind of activities he needed to be involved in to have a bigger chance of being considered. But these were things he was ready for... What he wasn't ready for were all the people that looked down on him and his goal. It seemed that everyone he talked to didn't believe he could make it. Everyone except Jinki, of course.

"Don't you get tired of me?" Kibum asks, resting his head on Jinki's shoulder. Their bodies relax into each other, as this small touch was more than welcome. 

"No... Why do you ask that?"

"I don't know," the younger man says, heaving a sigh. "Last night Appa said he's getting tired of me... I guess I've been so preoccupied with school, and I haven't been helping out at the farm as much as I should. It's weird... All my life, they've pushed me to go for more but now that it's getting closer... I feel like he's upset about this whole university thing. He says I don't know when to quit."

Jinki smiles, as he lifts his arm to wrap it around Kibum. "I happen to like that about you."

"Really?" The younger man's eyes look up at his beloved, astonished at how patient and loving he could be. 

"I like that you're so determined. Besides, if you gave up easily, then I don't think we would be together." 

Kibum scoffs playfully. "You make a good point. If I never said anything, then you would have stayed as my long-suffering admirer. You're lucky I made the first move."

"Does it matter who made the move? We're together now..." Jinki says, planting a kiss on the top of the younger man's head. "But you're right... I am lucky."

They both smile, quite content with themselves. They could have easily stayed this way forever. But Kibum being Kibum--he couldn't sit still for long. 

"What about you?" Kibum asks. "Your graduation is nearer than mine. After school, what are you going to do?"

It takes a while for Jinki to answer, looking out onto the beautiful expanse in front of them. "Nothing big. He won't say so but Appa needs my help. So, I guess that's your answer..."

A silence fills the tiny space between them, both of them realizing what this means. For the first time, they were confronted with the reality that their lives might take them down different paths away from one another. And it was terrifying.

"Let's not think about it yet," Jinki says, making the pivot as quick as he could. "We have time."

Kibum leans into Jinki's embrace, knowing that a year or so wasn't enough time at all. They both knew it was an outright lie, but it was less painful to believe it than deal with the truth. "Yeah, we have lots of time."

The beautiful shades of blues and yellows still filled the sky as they did once, albeit a bit cloudy. He knew that their space on the hill had been empty for a long while. His heart aches for the memories lost, and Kibum suddenly remembers what he's doing here. The rolling thunder that echoed through the sky was a wake-up call to reality. Walking over to the barn, he tries in vain to steady his heartbeat and hopes that seeing Jinki now won't make him as crazy as it did this morning.

"Hey," he says, peeking his head into the barn. It was honestly hard not to stare when Jinki was looking much more handsome than this morning. Gruffiness always suited him, and his simple outfit hugged him in all the right places. 

"Kibum," Jinki replies, turning his head in surprise. He checks his watch, hastily running his hands through his hair. The older curses his luck at not even having the time to get ready. "Is it five already?"

"Your Eomma told me you'd be back here. I hope you don't mind..." Kibum looks around, fascinated by how much has changed. The barn looked new. It was definitely more modern, and much more spacious than before. "Wow."

Jinki smirks at Kibum's wide-eyed reaction to the premises, pleased with himself. He straightens out his outfit, grateful that Kibum was distracted by the surroundings. "It looks different, doesn't it?"

The younger man was too busy looking around to answer. The more he moved into the barn, the more impressed he became. Near the barn doors were rows of long tables that were used as an assembly line for delivery days. Crates were stacked one on top of another at one corner of the barn, likely used to organize orders for packaging. To their left was a makeshift showroom, where all of their products were beautifully arranged in state-of-the-art containers, ready to be showed-off to the next client. Towards the back was a mini office with a couple of computers and industrial-looking printers--the hub of the entire place. Behind that was what looked like a walk-in cooling system with transparent doors. Anyone could easily see the rows and rows of cheeses that were available for purchase.

"They told me that you guys had become famous but this is ridiculous," Kibum says, trying to take everything in. "How did you do this?"

"Started small," Jinki says, shyly putting his hands in his pockets. "Had a few orders here and there and when I was confident enough, I tried to sell some in the city. People seemed to like it, so I went to other cities. And it kind of caught on from there... I built a second barn so that we had a place to make and package everything. This is kind of the administrative station of it all."

Kibum catches a glimpse of the boxes and gasps. "Fifth Town? Fifth Town Artisan Cheeses? I buy this stuff all the time!"

Jinki chuckles, trying not to blush for the highest compliment he had ever received. He knew how picky Kibum was about his food. The elder had never been more proud of his work in his entire life. "I wanna show you something."

Kibum follows him to a table near the back where there were fresh batches of cheese on display.

"You have good timing. I just finished presenting this to a client. We're developing something new... I won't bore you with the details but here," he says, taking the plate from underneath its glass cover and cutting Kibum a slice to taste. He waits with anticipation as Kibum takes the slice from his hand and puts it into his mouth. "We're still working the recipe out but tell me what you think," Jinki says. 

"It's wonderful," Kibum says, his eyes growing wide with excitement. "There's something different to it that I can't quite put my finger on..."

"It's goat's milk... I noticed that there were some farmers who herd goats so I thought that we could develop something that could support that. Lots of farmers in town can benefit from this cheese. For this particular batch, we got some from your Appa, actually..."

"That's really thoughtful... Thank you," Kibum says, not being able to suppress the smile creeping on to his face. "Thanks also for letting me visit."

Jinki smiles back and shrugs his shoulders. "Of course... You're as much a part of this place as I am."

A silence falls across the pair as the sunlight around them was finally defeated by the looming clouds. All the years of waiting couldn't have prepared Jinki for what was to happen next. There was no turning back now. 

"So what happened? All those years ago... What really happened, Jinki?"

All of the older man's confidence melted away as his eyes dropped to the floor. The truth was, the shame of it all still haunted him. He didn't know what to say. The rumble of the clouds interrupted their reunion and the sound of the rain pouring outside became too much for either of them to bear.

"Kid," said a person standing in front of him. "Kid, you have to go home. Do you have any identification on you?" He was too numb to look up. Too exhausted to realize to whom he was talking to. 

Kibum stares blankly at the police officer. There was a concerned look on the officer's face, worried about the state of the young man before him. Kibum wordlessly hands him his university identification card and lets more tears fall down his already tear-stained cheeks. 

"Do you live in the university dorms? Do you need a ride?"

He shakes his head, determined to stay right where he was. 

"Look, Son, it's been hours. You can't stay here. I'd hate to write up a young man like you for loitering. You're already in a good school. Think of your future," he says sternly. 

Future. He thought he would be meeting his future here. The life that he had imagined for himself had shattered in an instant, and he didn't even know why. The thought of a future was laughable right now. He finally raises his eyes to meet the policeman's and sees the care in his eyes. Somehow, this jolts him back to reality. Kibum gets up and walks away with him, tears still constantly streaming down his face.

"It was raining that day too," Kibum says, his voice trembling. "I wouldn't leave the station. I waited, and waited, and waited. The police, they sent me home, and it was raining so hard. I didn't even have an umbrella."

The lump in Jinki's throat kept him from uttering a single word. He didn't know that the police had gotten involved, and news of how distraught Kibum must have been was such a shock to him. All he could do was watch the young man standing before him with all the hurt he knew he had caused. It was almost too much to bear to see him this way but it had to happen now. 

"You never even called. I talked to everyone I could but no one would tell me what happened, no one knew why you were avoiding me. You just disappeared from my life but I never knew why," Kibum asks. Tears rolled down his cheeks. The younger man takes a few steps towards Jinki as if to ask for a response. But all he was met with was a helpless stare with glistening eyes. 

"I waited... Every day for months and months I went back and waited for you to show up, but you never did," he continues. "For years I wondered what I could have done to make you hate me that much. I moved on as best as I could and I did something good with my life. But even after all these years, I still think about it. You need to tell me why, Jinki. I need you to tell me why."

The hurt in Kibum's eyes turned to anger. All those nights that he spent waiting at the train station, all the tears he shed, the way that he threw himself into his work just to be able to forget... All the memories came back to him at that instant. All he wanted was answers. But Jinki couldn't even give him any. 

"Say something," Kibum says, stepping aggressively towards Jinki. The older man's silence triggered the anger in Kibum to be unleashed after all those years. He pushes Jinki's shoulders with a bit of force, taunting him. "Huh? Why can't you say anything? Say something!"

The rumble of thunder joins in the cracking of Kibum's voice, hot tears shooting down his face. "I waited... You never even called... I wrote you so many letters, I called you more than once a day... Why did you do that to me..."

There was nothing else Jinki could do but to wrap the hysterical young man in a tight embrace, his strong arms locking around him. Kibum struggled to get free but the older man was too strong. Jinki draws Kibum close, placing his head beside the young man's, trying to soothe him in the only way he knew how. 

"Shh... Kibum..." he whispers into his ear. "Shh..."

It had been years since they held each other but even in this rage, Jinki's arms still felt like home. Kibum had finally let himself go and all the emotions that he had hidden from the older man came flooding out. If Jinki wasn't holding him up, he would have crumbled to the ground, his sobs rocking the barn. He had never let himself cry like that before. It felt like each sob came from the pit of his stomach.

Jinki softly the back of Kibum's head, trying not to be overcome with emotion himself. But despite his best efforts, the tears came hurtling down his face too. Being confronted with just how much he hurt the person he loved most was much more painful than he thought it would be. Even if it seemed so insignificant now, there was only one thing that he could think of to say.

"I'm sorry, Kibum... I'm so, so sorry..."