Minseok’s parents still live in Guri where he grew up. They’re living in a small red brick house, close to the Guri Hangang Park that is full of blooming flowers in March. They light up the blue sky with their purple and pinks and as Chanyeol walks past he remembers the times they have spent together, walking through the park in spring and summer. It’s full of powerful memories that only make him more determined to get to the bottom of this – and an attempt at saving Minseok most definitely means keeping him on life support.

Chanyeol walks through the park, watches the flowers and the river to gain a little confidence in what he’s about to do. He likes his parents-in-law, he does, but still it takes courage to stand against them and ask them to do the opposite of what doctors have advised. He’s going to do exactly that, though.

When he knocks on the door, it’s Minseok’s father that opens. He looks genuinely surprised to see Chanyeol there but invites him in, nonetheless. Minseok’s mother is cooking in the kitchen, gloved hands full of red spice as she makes a new batch of kimchi. She smiles and greets him enthusiastically like he isn’t here to discuss the future of their son.

His father-in-law urges him closer to the bookcase to show him a new book he has just bought, historical fiction he enjoys very much and hopes Chanyeol will love as much as he does. They used to talk about books often, whenever they visited. In Chanyeol, Minseok’s father found another man passionate about literature that had nothing to do with chemistry and he has kept the interest alive. Chanyeol just indulges him now, standing in the living room, smiling.

For some reason, Minseok’s childhood home has always smelled like home. It’s always warm and welcoming and homely. For those exact reasons is it so much harder when Chanyeol sits down in the kitchen and asks his father-in-law to come join them.

“I spoke to dr. Cho yesterday,” he says and both of Minseok’s parents stiffen.

“Yes dear - and?” Minseok’s mother says and continues slowly stirring her hands in the kimchi to keep herself occupied. Minseok’s father clears his throat.

“He said Minseok’s one kidney is starting to show signs of being on the ECMO for a month and that he talked to you guys about stopping treatment.”

They both look towards other things but Chanyeol. Except the wall clock ticking away there is absolute silence around them. He can almost hear his heartbeat and blood rush past his ears.

“Yes, it’s…” It’s Minseok’s father this time. “Dr. Cho said it was the only option left.”

Chanyeol suppresses his anger. It’s not their fault that dr. Cho is starting to give up hope. How they can succumb to the idea of just letting Minseok pass away, though? Chanyeol is never going to understand that.

“If we take him off of life support, he’s going to die. There’s no way his organs can sustain themselves without the ECMO if he doesn’t respond to treatment.”

Chanyeol can feel how frustration wells up in him and clouds his words with a harsh undertone. He doesn’t want to scold his parents-in-law, he just wants them to keep Minseok alive. That’s really all he wants. Minseok’s father sighs deeply and lifts his head so he can look at Chanyeol. There are wrinkles in his forehead that wasn’t there before his son fell ill.

“What if he never responds to treatment?” he asks and Chanyeol feels blood drain from his face.

“What if he wakes up with no function left?” Minseok’s mother says, voice low and shaky. Chanyeol doesn’t notice the tear that slowly finds its way down his left cheek.

“Please don’t say that. I promised him I would find a way. Don’t take him off the ECMO,” he whispers. Minseok’s mother slowly takes off her gloves and puts them down. When she comes close enough, she wraps Chanyeol in a strong embrace.

“I know I said we had to be strong for Minseokkie, but sometimes being strong means letting go,” she whispers into his hair and Chanyeol sniffs.

“No,” he whispers back. No. Being strong doesn’t mean letting go. Chanyeol doesn’t think he’ll ever let go of Minseok, alive or dead. He chokes back tears and brings a hand up to wipe his eyes even though he’s still squashed against his mother-in-law in her warm hug. He doesn’t like feeling like a child that needs to cry, doesn’t want to show them weakness like this.

And although Chanyeol has cried throughout the time Minseok has been hospitalized, has cried more than he’d like to admit, there is something so strong about the grief in Minseok’s childhood home. It’s like they have already decided they’ll never get their son back, that this is goodbye, and it seeps into Chanyeol like a leech and drains him of energy, of hope, and he can’t stop the tears. He keeps wiping them away and they keep appearing like he’s a fountain.

“Let’s not make any hasty decisions,” Minseok’s father says and Chanyeol leans back from the embrace and looks towards him. “Let’s keep him on the ECMO.” He looks towards his wife. “Maybe there is still hope.”

His eyes pray for something short of a miracle and Chanyeol vows he will either find that miracle himself or he will force the government to find it. He’s not ready to say goodbye just yet.

---

The café is quaint and nice. There are myriads of flowers on the wall and hanging from the ceiling, small tables and chairs of different styles scattered across the room. The desk is tucked in the corner and in the middle is a small display of baked goods one can purchase. There’s pop music flowing from the speakers in the corners and the coffee scent wafts gently through the air.

Chanyeol sits in a corner, tucked away, nibbling to his focaccia bread and sipping his coffee when the door slams open. Sookyungs long hair is put in a high ponytail and it swishes dangerously as she stalks her way towards him. Her face is locked in neutrality, lips a thin line and eyes staring right ahead of her.

She walks with the grace of a lioness stalking her prey and she’s heading in Chanyeols direction. She sits down gracefully in front of him, and her eyes turn to slits.

“You,” she hisses and leans over the table. She’s intimidating. “How dare you take trusted police information and go on a stake-out?”

Her voice is sharp and authoritative. Her face doesn’t show the depth of her anger but that just makes her even more terrifying. Chanyeol doesn’t know what to answer so he shrinks away. She’s still staring at him, waiting for him to say something.

“Sorry,” he whispers, but that doesn’t satisfy her in the least.

“Sorry?” She’s mocking him. “Start using your ing brain. Have you any idea of how much trouble you could’ve put both of us in if anyone had figured out that you had confidential police information and used it to do something as stupid as a stake-out? What do you think you are? A hero?”

Chanyeol shakes his head and Sookyung leans back in her chair. She’s still glaring at him, lips still a thin line. None of them say a word and in the background is BTS singing their latest pop-hit in the radio.

“Tell me,” she says. “Do you think you’re a hero?”

He shakes his head again and Sookyung hisses “out loud” with such venom that Chanyeol has no doubt he’s getting the same treatment he would if he was a useless Private in her battalion.

“No.”

“Good. Now stop acting like it!” Chanyeol whimpers. It surprises him that he’s able to whimper like a small puppy that has done something wrong, but he’s never been subjected to Sookyungs pure rage. She might have been mad at him before, but never like this. Never with her eyes saying it all, no hint of a smile, no emotion astray. Sookyung has full control of her body and her emotions and that scares the heck out of Chanyeol.

“I know you want to fight for Minseok, but this has got to stop. Immediately. No more police work, no more stake-outs. No more leads. No more fighting terrorists on your own or with my husband.”

 “But…” he says meekly and Sookyung fixes him with a stone-cold glare.

“No buts.”

She looks him in the eye, holds his attention just long enough to know her words have cemented themselves in his brain before she rises from her chair.

“No more,” she says, finality in her voice as she leaves him alone. Chanyeol slumps over the table, coffee cold and focaccia bread dry.

---

It’s a lovely day in March. The sun is shining from a blue sky, the temperature is high for the season and birds are singing their songs of love around him. The parks are full of people relaxing and the streets are busy with lives being lived.

Chanyeol has the day off, much to his own chagrin. He spent the morning in the hospital with Minseok, he hasn’t heard from Baekhyun and Sookyung after she got pissed with him and Joonmyun is too busy to hang out. He walks mindlessly around, feeling a little empty and a lot bored. He hasn’t done anything to search for the terrorist and has put his faith in the CDC, even though he still doesn’t trust them.

Minseok’s parents have promised to keep him on the ECMO, at least for now, and while dr. Cho isn’t shy to announce his disagreement with the decision, he doesn’t try to convince them otherwise. It’s difficult to lose a beloved family member.

Chanyeol stops when he passes the same restaurant for the third time and sighs heavily. There has to be something he can do on a day like this. It’s 3.30 PM when he decides to go back to the apartment and on his way, he remembers a stranger that was willing to listen. It takes a couple of tries to find Jeongdok Public library. Chanyeol honestly doesn’t believe he’s going to find the stranger, whose name he’s forgotten, but even so, a library might just be the place for him. The scent of old books and new ink sends a smile to his face.

The librarian is young. She has a book in her lap as she looks up to send him a smile. He heads straight for the fiction, looking through what Minseok fondly would have described as women’s novels. It’s just those books he likes best. He’s flipping through a couple of books, when he finds a soft armchair and sits down to read.

Chanyeol goes back the next day after his day shift ends and finds the same soft armchair and a couple of new books.

He’s completely invested in the main character getting her prince charming, when a smooth hand lands on the pages. He jumps a little in surprise, head snapping up to look at the intruder and sees a grinning face surrounded by black hair. It takes a few seconds before Chanyeol connects the dots and recognizes the stranger in front of him.

“You scared me!” he accuses light-hearted and the stranger, Kim Jongdae, laughs out loud.

“I told you I would be here. What are you reading?” Jongdae asks and leans over Chanyeol’s book trying to read it upside down. Chanyeol laughs and with a finger in place, he turns the front cover over so Jongdae can read the title. The Unhoneymooners shine in black and blue on the yellow front cover and Jongdae raises an eyebrow in surprise before he lets another smile take over.

“Romance, huh?” Chanyeol nods.

“Yeah, I like to get far away from my reality once in a while and what’s better than a good story about a couple that falls in love?” Jongdae sits down in the chair opposite of Chanyeol’s and leans back.

“Well, I don’t know? You’re single or?” Chanyeol raises an eyebrow in surprise and then barks out a chuckle. He shakes his head. Does he look single?

“No, no. I’m in a very happy relationship.” He glosses over his boyfriend being very sick for now. The definition of their relationship hasn’t changed because Minseok got sick.

“What do you prefer reading then?” he asks Jongdae. He puts the book down on his lap and leans back against his own chair, getting comfortable in their conversation. Jongdae tells him he prefers murder mysteries, that his favorite book is The Postman Always Rings Twice but that he sometimes strays from the crime to read horror.

Chanyeol, on the other hand, tells Jongdae about his romance novels, about how all the happiness and drama lets him disappear from real life problems and how the happy ending always gives him a little hope.

They talk about books neither of them like and books both of them have enjoyed and when the conversation strays from literature they move from the comfortable seats in the library to a small corner park.

“So you’re a paramedic?” Jongdae asks and Chanyeol nods. He takes a deep breath of clean air and listens to the distant traffic. He can hear birds singing from behind him and swallows fly over the old traditional roofs.

“Mh-hm, what about you?” Jongdae stares in front of him and Chanyeol sends him a curious smile.

“I’m a chemical engineer,” he says rather silently before he turns around to smile back at Chanyeol. Their conversation so far has been lighthearted and easy. It’s refreshing to talk about literature and forget about life for a moment. Jongdae is easy to talk to; he has a charm to him that makes it so easy to trust him and just talk. It helps that so far, they haven’t been talking about anything particularly private.

“Oh,” Chanyeol says. “My bo…” and then he hesitates. He has no idea how Jongdae feels about homouality and he’d rather not mess up a potential new friendship because he’s revealing something too controversial about himself too soon. On the other hand, a friendship built on lies isn’t a friendship that’s worth pursuing and when Chanyeol inevitably has to say that he’s gay their friendship might shatter regardless. It might be safer to say it sooner rather than later. It’ll hurt less. Still, he can’t get himself to say boyfriend, anxious it’ll will cause the conversation to turn sour too soon.

“My partner is a chemist,” he says instead and Jongdae widens his eyes in surprise.

“Really? What a coincidence!”

Chanyeol nods.

“Does she teach?” Jongdae goes on and Chanyeol feels discomfort well up in him at the prospect of continuing a lie.

“Uh… No,” he says. He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes before he opens them again and focuses on the bird song behind them. “Research. Are you still single?”

It’s a long shot to change the conversation, but Chanyeol feels a lump in his throat and hopes that Jongdae will get the hint and stop asking about his boyfriend. He just can’t get himself to correct the lie from she to he. Jongdae’s face clouds over and sours, his lips thin and his gaze finds the ground in front of them.

“I’m a widower,” he says. It doesn’t leave much room for questions and Chanyeol understands and yet he feels so many questions well up at him. The first one being, how old is Jongdae even? He looks far too young to be a widower. The second thought that strikes him is that he, too, could be a widower – way too young at that. He swallows harshly.

Silence envelops the two men as they sit on a bench, surrounded by traditional houses and greenery. It’s not until a few minutes later when a cell phone rings that they speak again. Jongdae excuses himself to pick up his phone and Chanyeol is sorting through various excuses that he must leave for home in his mind. He doesn’t have to use any, however, because when Jongdae hangs up he sends Chanyeol a charming smile, memories of the past few minutes forgotten.

“My grandmother needs me, so I’ll have to go. You coming back to the library again tomorrow or?” he asks and Chanyeol widens his eyes in surprise.

“You want to still talk with me?” Jongdae laughs. It’s contagious and Chanyeol feels the corner of his lips curve upwards.

“Of course, I still need to get you hooked on murder mysteries.” Chanyeol shakes his head in disbelief with a huge smile on his face.

“Good luck with that.” They part ways near the library. Chanyeol finds his car and for the first time since Minseok got hospitalized he listens to Deux as he’s driving home.

---

Man, 78 years old, severe headache, facial hemiparalysis. Suspected . Symptoms onset one and a half hours ago. Bukchon-ro 11da-gil.

The trip to Bukchon is oddly familiar for Chanyeol, but he doesn’t dare voice it out loud as they speed through traffic to get to the patient. Time is of utmost importance and every minute counts. Joonmyun curses when cars in front of them doesn’t care to move aside and he has to maneuver dangerously to move forward. Chanyeol ignores him for the time being, stares out the front window and tries to prepare himself for the task they’re heading towards.

Modern high rises give way for traditional housing as they move into Bukchon and Joonmyun tries to locate the house with the GPS. When he finally parks the ambulance, Chanyeol feels frozen in place. The front yard is well kept and very familiar. A woman opens the door and waves frantically with her hands before she rushes into the house again.

Joonmyun is fiddling with the stretcher and calls out towards Chanyeol, eyebrow raised in question. He shakes his head and opens the door, willing memories of him and Baekhyun to the back of his mind and puts on a professional façade. He’s here in a noble errand and his patient can’t afford to lose time because he can’t stay on the right track.

As they enter the house, he looks up and finds the elderly woman wrapped in an embrace and he recognizes the man holding her. Jongdae lets go of his grandmother and shows the way to the bedroom where his grandfather is currently sitting, holding his head in his hands, lips drooping. Chanyeol works almost robotically, only registers the answers to Joonmyun’s questions but doesn’t really listen to the conversation around him. He’s too focused on Jongdae.

Joonmyun punches his shoulder when he’s done questioning and sends him a glare. Chanyeol shakes his head to get back in the game and moves to stand up, helping the elderly man onto the stretcher. He gives out information about the hospital they’re about to drive to so Jongdae and his grandmother can follow before they load the elderly man into the ambulance and starts the drive towards the hospital.

“Where the hell were your head?” Joonmyun shouts the second they sit in the ambulance again after having sent the elderly man on his way in the hospital.

“I … I’m sorry,” is the only thing Chanyeol can manage. Joonmyun massages his temples and sighs deeply.

“Is it still Minseok?” he asks, voice no longer raised. Chanyeol turns to Joonmyun in shock, eyes wide and mouth dropped open. Joonmyun just stares at him, waiting for an answer.

“No, it’s … No. Minseok is fine.”

“Did he wake up?”

Joonmyuns voice is soft, almost a whisper. He’s pitying him. Chanyeol feels his heart twitch a little. It’s an unpleasant feeling, being pitied.

“No, he didn’t. He’s still in a coma, but he’s fine. It had nothing to do with Minseok; I’m just tired. I’m sorry I wasn’t there fully, I’ll do better.”

He closes the conversation as he faces the window and crosses his hands in front of his chest. Joonmyun sighs but doesn’t say anything. They don’t get far before the next call comes and they head off towards a burn victim.

The wind is stronger than expected when Chanyeol gets off work. Clouds are looming in the sky, black and threatening with rain. He wraps his scarf a little closer around his neck and buries his hands in his pockets. When he looks up, he gets eye contact with someone he hasn’t seen or spoken to in a couple of days.

“Hey,” Baekhyun says sheepishly when Chanyeol gets close enough. Chanyeol smiles a little.

“Sookyung got mad at you too?” he asks and Baekhyun winces.

“You have no idea. How dare I lead you in perdition and plant stupid ideas in your innocent mind?” he says, imitating his wife. He scoffs with a chuckle and Chanyeol laughs out loud at the imitation. He can only imagine Sookyung, hands on her hips, glaring at Baekhyun while she scolds him. They both know better, though. Baekhyun might have had the silliest ideas when they were in college, but it was almost always Chanyeol who acted on them spontaneously. Chanyeol has gotten himself in trouble since he was in kindergarten.

“Anyway, how are you? She mentioned dr. Cho let it slip that they were going to take Minseok off the ECMO.”

Baekhyun’s gaze softens and Chanyeol tries to fight the façade he has had up the past couple of days. They’re walking towards his car in silence and when they reach it, Chanyeol puts his hand on the roof and turns towards his best friend.

“Yeah, it seems dr. Cho has given up hope. I convinced Minseok’s parents to keep him on life support. I can’t lose him now.”

He sends Baekhyun a glance of determination. Baekhyun smiles softly.

“Of course. Don’t ever give up on him,” he says and walks around the car to the passenger seat. He climbs into the car and Chanyeol blinks in succession in confusion. He doesn’t react until someone taps the car window from the inside and he sees Baekhyun smiling widely, leaning over the gear box. Baekhyun moves over as Chanyeol gets in. He’s still smiling.

“Thursday,” is everything he says and Chanyeol chuckles. How could he forget?