Heiran was tapping her foot against the floor, ignoring the sting of pain sent to her ankles whenever she did. It was driving her insane, she just wanted her father to come and to get this entire conversation over with. 

She didn’t want to see him or hear him pretend to feel bad when this was all his fault in the first place.

If DS had asked for money or territory in exchange for her return, she wondered if her father would give it. It was probably easier for him to offer up Mark than to actually give something up something as precious. 

Minutes ticked by when the gate’s buzzer rang. She walked over to the front door, whimpered when sharp pain would sting her before peaking out. Seeing her father, she let out a quiet curse and opened the gates for him. Once he was parked, she opened the door and waited for him to be standing in front of her.

“Hi, pumpkin.” He said with a nervous smile.

She stared at the takeout in his hands and rolled her eyes before hobbling back into the house and to the couch. “Make it quick, I want to sleep.”

“I’m only here to check on you and make sure you’re doing alright. I needed to make sure with my own two eyes.” He said softly, setting the bags on the table and sitting down on the couch across from her. 

She closed her eyes and laughed, “A little too late to be wanting to make sure I’m doing okay, don't you think?”

He scanned the damage across her face, “DS will pay for what he and his men did to you.”

“Mark already took care of that.” She muttered, remembering the way darkness had consumed him when he told her to give him a name. It went against all her principles and she knew that if she told him to stop, to not hurt them, he would. 

But she didn’t because deep down she wanted him to punish those men, maybe not kill but certainly give them a taste of what they did to her. 

A moment passed and she almost wondered if her father had left until he spoke, “You and Mark are getting closer, aren’t you?”

“Don’t make this into something.” She sneered.

He raised his brows, “I’m not making it into anything, I’m just asking.”

“Mark is the first man who’s actually done something useful for me and you’re going to turn this into something bad, like I've done something wrong. What are you going to do? Replace him because you’re scared my magical is brainwashing him?” She blurted. 

Her father made a face, “Jesus.”

“Don’t touch Mark.” She said quietly, “I know you probably hoped he would be bad at his job but he isn't. Don’t make him stop protecting me and Lucy, don’t punish him for me getting kidnapped and don’t hurt him because of me. He's the only person who's keeping me safe right now.”

“Lucy is a pretty name.”

Her eyes shot open and darted to him, “Don't say her name.”

“Can you at least tell me what she’s like?” He asked softly. 

She chewed on her lip before looking at the ceiling, “She’s smart. Smartest kid I’ve ever seen. Curious about everything and so caring and mature.”

“Do you think I could meet her? She’s my grandda—“

“No.” She growled. “Just because you’re my father doesn’t make you her grandfather. You haven’t been around for my life much less hers. I don’t want her to know you’re a criminal, I don't need that in her life. So no, you're not going to get a 100 meters near her.”

He stared at his hands before looking at her, “It might be hard for you to believe, but I really care about you. I don’t always show it the right way but I care. When DS called me and told me he had you, I felt like I was drowning alive. I knew I was failing you all over again. I’m so sorry.”

“Whatever, it’s fine. Are we done now? I want to sleep.” She muttered. 

Her father chewed his lip nervously. “Are you on any meds? What were you prescribed?”

“Basic painkillers. I’m not taking a lot. Is that all?” She droned. 

He wanted to stay a little longer, “What about the painting? Did…did you hang it up somewhere?”

“It’s in the back of my closet.” She said.

He laughed, “ing Mark Tuan.”

“What do you mean?” She asked suspiciously.

He shook his head with a laugh, “Mark told me that you liked art so I tried to get you something and you ended up hating it.”

“Mark told you that?” She asked with a small smile.

Her father’s laugh grew, “Was he just lying to me?”

“No…” She said laughing at the thought of Mark trying to help her father get a present using the little he knew about her, “he was right. I do love art but I love good art. What you got me wasn’t good.”

Her father snorted, “I just thought the more expensive the art, the nicer it was.”

Heiran’s smile dropped as looked away, “Doesn’t it kill you to live that way? To measure everything by its dollar value? I may have money now, but I don’t let it consume me that way you let it consume you. There are other reasons why things and people are valuable to me aside from their monetary value.”

“Your mother,” he started quietly, “was priceless. She was always better than me and deserved more than the life I could give her. I never had much to offer her. It scared me that she’d one day find me useless. So I ran before she could, no matter how much she showed me how much she loved me. I was more insecure than what her love could heal me with.”

“How cute.” She said blankly, “You could’ve run off without robbing her blind first. Do you ever think about how by taking all her money she didn't have anything left to pay for chemo? We forced her to take out loans to pay for the first few rounds but then she refused to pay and all we could do is sit there and watch her in pain until she died. You’re not getting my sympathy because you're the reason she's dead.”

Her father frowned, “I know I what I did was despicable and there’s no making up for what I did to your mother. I live every day with that reminder. But I will still always care about you, despite whether or not you want me to.”

She didn't respond right away so he kept talking, "You know, I always watched over you, even before you got hired at that company. I watched you work hard, carry a heavy weight on your shoulders trying to get into school and give yourself a future while also caring for Lucy. I was so proud of you and when you struggled I wished I could help you but I only knew it would do more harm than good."

"You ended up harming me anyway. I would've been nice to grow up with a father, to actually have a family for support, but I learned that you were never my family to start with. You were just the donor for my mom." She snapped. 

He looked defeated and she wondered how much would be too much before he completely gave up, "You know I love you, right? No matter how much you hate me, if you ever needed anything from me, I would move mountains to give it to you."

She didn't need a man to say he'd move mountains. 

She'd rather a man who made no promises but could move an entire universe without her asking.

She'd rather a man like Mark.

Heiran let out a breath, “Do whatever you want, I won’t lose sleep over you.”

“What about Mark?” Her father challenged.

Her brow twitched, “What about him?”

“He’s killed people, he’s committed just as many crimes as I have, why do you always defend him? Would you lose sleep over him?” He asked. 

It reminded her so thoroughly of what DS had whispered to her. 

'Who are you worth more to? Mark or your father?'

Even now, she wasn't sure what DS had meant by that, but those words sent shivers down her spine.

She let out a trembling breath, “I don’t defend the things he’s done, a lot of it has made sick, but no matter how hard you try to make him out to be the same kind of person as you, he isn't. He actually cares and he can tell the difference between what he has to do for his job and who he is as a person.”

Her father shook his head and almost looked sympathetic towards her, "Pumpkin, in our life, there is no difference."

"He isn’t the heartless carnivore you think he is. He’s empathetic."

“No, he isn't. He is a carnivore and the thing about animals like him is that when you look them in the eye, you think you see empathy, but all you’re really seeing is the emotion in your eyes reflected in his. You are empathic and kind, pumpkin, he isn’t.”

Heiran scanned her father with her eyes. She wondered if he was that detached from the world and the people around that he was unaware of who they were. To him, they were these emotionless animals that he had captured and trained, but people like Mark, Jinyoung, and Yeonhee had more to them than that. They were people with hopes and dreams. They were people who just wanted a shot in life.

She knew it. 

Because she had been that person who prayed for a chance as well.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t compare an adult man deciding to abandon his family to start a crime ring out of insecurity and greed to a child who joined a gang out of survival and has been locked into this life ever since.” She spat. 

Her father chuckled and it wasn’t the warm-hearted laugh from before, it was darker, “That is quite a story Mark has. One day he will tell you what he used to be like, the things he had to do in the name of 'survival'. I wonder if you’re able to be so understanding then.”

-----

It was 3 hours. 

The longest she’d slept consecutively since she was back home. 

It was the same nightmare she’d been having for the last couple of days. 

One where she’d be tied up and locked away in that room but she’d be watching from outside her body. She’d see the men who were beating her, but Mark would never appear in these nightmares. It would never end with him finding her. It would always prolong into gruesome torture where she’d beg and cry but they’d yank her teeth out or cut off her finger until the only thing she’d taste was blood and the only thing she'd hear was her own screams. 

And when she barely had any life left in her, she’d feel a barrel of a gun pressed to the center of her forehead. Right as the trigger was pulled, she’d wake up in a sweat. 

Panting, Heiran pushed her hair off her sweat-drenched neck before rolling off her bed. She walked down to her kitchen and poured herself a glass of water. She let it cool her down before fiddling with her phone. Her thumb lingered over Mark’s name before deciding screw it all and pressing on it.

He was the one that said he was the few people who could understand what she had gone through. 

And it was 4AM, so it wasn’t like he’d pick up anywa—

“It’s 4 ing AM in the morning, duchess. If you’re not in danger or if your house is not on fire, you should hang up now.” He grumbled. 

She smiled, his voice raspy and warm, she could almost see him under his blankets on a thin mattress on the cold floor of his ty temporary apartment. “Mark, how do you do it?”

The sound of his mattress squeaking and his sheets rustling, “Do what?”

She stared at the picture of her late mother propped up on the kitchen counter, “How do you go to sleep after seeing what you’ve seen?”

“I wait until I’m really tired and then I just close my eyes. Sometimes I count sheep. I think they teach you that in pre-school during nap time.” He muttered. 

She chewed on her lip and hung her head, “But what if you get nightmares?”

“Get in bed.” He said. 

Frowning, she straightened up, “Huh?”

“You’re not in bed right now, right? Go back to your room and get in bed.” He said.

She dragged herself up the stairs and walked into her room, “Don’t bark orders at me.”

“It feels nice, though. I could get used to bossing you around.” She could hear his smile as she crept under her covers.

She sighed as she rolled onto her side, “Now what?”

“You know Jinyoung can’t stop talking about you right? He’s a huge nerd but still, he’s typically pretty calm and cool, but he’s basically a whipped little puppy when it comes to you. I tried to see if he wanted your number to like set you two up, I kind of meant it jokingly but he got all serious and told me that you deserved a better man. He’s ing insane.”

It took Heiran a full minute before realizing what he was doing. She smiled slightly and closed her eyes, humming in acknowledgment as she let him continue to talk mindlessly about his day and his run-ins with Jinyoung before she was out like a light. 

Mark talked for a few more minutes until he could hear her even breathing. Still, he kept the call running and fell asleep to the sound of her against his ear.

-----

“Hey, sunshine, ready for school?” 

It had been less than a week and the pain was lessening but Heiran still struggled with sleeping.  She couldn’t exactly call Mark every night to talk her to sleep, but at least she was able to get enough hours in that she could function a little when the sun came up. It also meant a lot of little naps throughout the day, made her feel like a baby. 

Lucy smiled brightly and nodded while staring up at Heiran expectantly. She smiled slightly and touched the ribbons tied into her hair, “This is very pretty, did you do it all by yourself?”

“Yeah!” She cheered excitedly. "I wanted to look extra nice today."

It was beyond her how her daughter could always look so bright and happ