Heiran always figured parenting would be hard.

Lucy was laying in bed, curled up under a thin blanket and Heiran was seated on the floor next to her, watching the moonlight play off her face. 

She looked so much like her father. 

It was a running joke that she looked more like her mother than her father and although Heiran could clearly see the resemblance of both, she always found the father’s features stood out more. She could see it in her ears, and her expressive eyes. 

And she could most definitely see it in her personality. Her outgoing cheeriness, the dry humour that sometimes seemed beyond her age, the ability to see the silver lining no matter what. It was all there.  

Heiran felt tears well up as she rested her chin on the edge of the mattress. She missed him so much and if her mind was silent for long enough, she could feel the emptiness inside. She knew she was doing it all wrong and how disappointed he’d be if he knew what Lucy was being put through. She wasn’t raising her right, she wasn’t raising Lucy the way she was supposed to be raising her. She wasn't giving her the life she deserved. 

She pressed her forehead against the bed and squeezed her eyes shut. Lucy had become withdrawn ever since they got to the safehouse. Sometimes she’d play around with the guys but when they had to work, she’d fall silent. She’d been sleeping more than she used to. Was she depressed? Traumatized? Heiran’s heart clenched at the thought. How could she help her?

Heiran didn’t hear the door open or the footsteps pad in until she felt someone crouch behind her. She stayed where she was when arms curled around her and began lifting her up. She flinched and Mark swore quietly under his breath before setting her back on the floor.

“Sorry.” He whispered, “I thought you fell asleep down here.”

She shook her head and stood with him but he was quick to cup her face and turn it to him, tilting it so that the light bleeding through the crack in the door washed over her face, “Duchess?”

When she met his eyes, it was like something inside of her cracked and a feeling of hopelessness washed over her. Her lip quivered and he pulled her to him as she silently cried against his shoulder.

Glancing at Lucy who was still asleep, he carefully walked backwards with Heiran leaning against him until they were safely in his room. She pulled away and wiped her face, “I’m just a little overwhelmed.”

“I get that.” He said softly, leading her back into his arms, the place where he liked her best and swayed her gently, “But are you sure that’s all it was about?”

She rested her head against his chest, her eyes growing heavy with the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. She fisted the back of his shirt like he could physically ground her the way he emotionally grounded her, “What do you mean?”

“Is this…about Lucy’s dad?” 

Heiran stiffened in his arms and pushed him away before staring into his eyes. It was uncanny how he managed to know exactly what was plaguing her even though it was something he knew nothing about. She wasn’t used to someone being so attuned to her emotions and needs especially after being seen as nothing but a tool by so many other people, “Excuse me?”

He immediately felt regret as he dropped his arms and put space between them. He wished he could staple his mouth shut, “I’m sorry, I just found that box of your stuff and Lucy was looking at a picture of him so I…I um, I don’t know I g—“

“It’s okay.” She interrupted before moving to the kitchen to open the cabinets and looked around frantically, “Ugh, there’s no tea here.”

“I think we have some coffee.” Mark offered as he followed her out. 

She shut the doors and huffed, “No, it’ll just make me anxious and jittery.”

“Do you want to talk about it…or him?” He hated how his voice was filled with doubt and insecurity but he didn’t know how to approach this topic with Heiran. Lucy’s father had always been the elephant in the room that they dared not to ever address. It was an unspoken rule.

Her eyes widened and she chewed on her lips worriedly before scratching the back of her neck, “I don’t know.”

“What is he like?” Mark asked, hoping the softball question would ease her into sharing. 

Heiran’s eyes quickly became wistful, weighted with so much emotion and it made Mark’s gut twist. It was like she could see the man in front of her, “Every good quality of Lucy’s is his. He’s one of the best people I’ve ever met.”

“Why isn’t he around?” Mark asked quietly. 

Heiran’s face fell and she looked away. His throat swelled at the distress on her face and he knew he pushed too much. But the look of absolute love on her face from before was seared into his mind.

“You and Jaebum should go out and get some fresh air.” He said while reaching out and brushing her hair back, “Being stuck inside all the time might be stressing you out.”

She frowned, “Jaebum?”

“Me and Jinyoung can’t risk going out and to everyone else, you’re still married.” He hated the memory, even though her ring was tossed somewhere in the house. 

Her eyes darted around his face before she frowned, “Is this because I don’t want to talk about Lucy’s dad?”

“What?! No!” Mark exclaimed, “I’m not punishing you. I just think that being cooped up here is getting to you. Duchess, you know I’m not going to give you a hard time just because you’re not ready to share.” He cupped her jaw and thumbed along the bone soothingly. 

She sighed guilty and sunk into his touch a little, “Yeah, I know, I’m sorry. I just feel…bleh.”

“You know I’ll be here for you, right? Even when it feels like I’m not, I’ll always be on your side.” He whispered, knocking their heads together.

Her eyes glistened and she looked away, her breath catching at the mention of a day that may come where it would feel like he wasn’t with her, “I know. And maybe you’re right, I need to get some fresh air and clear my head. Is it safe?”

“As safe as it can be, but Jaebum will be good to have by your side. He’s proven to be…useful.” He said with a snort. 

Some of the heaviness lifted off of her as she smiled at him, “I feel safest with you. Does that sound stupid?”

“No.” He murmured, running the back of his fingers against her cheek, he was so hopelessly in love with her, it sort of snuck up on him. But it wasn't a crashing realization, it was a slow, calming build that consumed him in the time that he knew her. He woke up one day and knew he loved her, and he knew he had loved her for a long time now.

He hadn’t been prepared to find the other half of his heart in her when he was assigned to look after his Boss’s estranged daughter. He was never a man that made room in his heart for others, but as it turned out, Heiran and Lucy fit inside the small space too perfectly, “It’s music to my ears, really.”

She hummed happily at his touch, it always brought her feet to the ground and made her feel balanced. Despite Heiran’s warmed eyes, Mark looked a bit sadder, his fingers brushing her lips almost longingly, “But maybe it is a little stupid to feel safe with a hunted man.” 

-----

“God, has the air always smelled this crisp?” Heiran sang as she took a deep breath. 

Jaebum chuckled, watching the small skip in her step as they walked down the sidewalk, baseball caps and face masks covering most of their faces up. “It’s only been a few weeks.”

“Well, it feels a lot longer.” She said quietly, “I think I felt this way ever since my dad showed up at my office.”

Jaebum fell silent and they continued down the street, the sidewalks and roads glossy with rain from earlier. When Mark asked him to accompany Heiran for a walk, he thought he was being tricked. Even though there was a certain level of awkwardness around them, he appreciated how comfortably they could talk to each other. He wasn’t sure he’d ever have a role in her life anymore, but these simple moments had him missing her as a friend. 

“Mark asked me about Lucy’s dad today.” Heiran quietly admitted, breaking the box of silence.

Jaebum raised his brow, he was surprised Mark had the guts to bring it up, “What did he say?”

“He just asked me if I wanted to talk about him.” She tucked her hands into her sweater pockets and raised her shoulders to her ears. 

He glanced at her from the side of his eyes, “And did you?”

“I did but not much. I wanted to but I think the moment wasn’t right.” She said.

He nodded and hummed, “Do you think he’d take it well?”

“I mean…why wouldn’t he?” She posited with a frown.

“Because you waited so long to tell him.”

She looked at her feet before shaking her head, “He isn’t like that.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right.” He admitted, Mark was never someone to be insecure or jealous.

She pursed her lips in thought before looking over at him, “Why do you think he asked me about it?”

“He saw his photo, didn’t he tell you?” He asked. 

She nodded but still seemed unsure, “Yeah but I didn’t get why he brought it up. He never really asked me about Lucy’s dad before.”

“When we were dating, I was always curious because I wanted to know who he is and what his relationship was to you or if he’d still be a part of your life. Even with everything that’s been going on, I’m sure Mark has similar questions.” He saw the way she chewed on her lip anxiously and sighed, “You and Mark aren’t really dating, but you’re basically dating. It’s natural for him to be curious when he’s trying to figure where he stands with you and Lucy.”

She sighed, “You’re right. And I want to tell him, I just want to do it properly. I don’t want him to feel like I don’t trust him. It’s just a big step and we don’t even know if there’s a future with us.”

“Oh, there will definitely be a future with you two.” He said with a snort. 

She peered up at him, “How are you so sure?”

“I’d bet my entire empire that Mark loves you, like is actually in love with you. And Mark doesn’t treat those feelings lightly. You know him, he’s loyal as hell. He doesn’t mess around. Him loving someone is heavy and he won’t just throw that away. He’s going to see this through.” He had never been more sure about anything in his life.

She didn’t look entirely convinced, “But he’s the one that’s putting distance between us.”

“That should be your proof, he’s not risking ruining things with you. He’s being smart and careful instead of rushing into things only for it to not work out a month later. It'd be so easy for him to just do what he wants. But he's being patient.” Jaebum said. “The real question is how do you feel about him?”

She swallowed down tears she could feel building, “I feel right when I’m with him. Like I’m the most honest version of myself with him. I feel like things will be okay despite how much they’re not okay. That’s how I feel about him. At least as of right now.”

He looked at her and the way she had fallen deep inside her own mind and felt guilt seep deep into his bones, “I’m sorry.”

“For?” She asked, blinking up at him. 

He swallowed the lump in his throat. he'd been doing a lot of apologizing lately, “For hurting you so much that you’ve stopped yourself from falling in love with someone else to protect yourself.”

“Do you think that’s what I’m feeling? Love?” She couldn’t shake how strange it was asking her ex a question like that. Like they were friends with a platonic history. 

But Jaebum just grinned up at the night sky, “No, I’m pretty sure it’s something more than love. There just isn’t a word for it yet.”

“You seem different, Jae.” She whispered. 

His smile faded but not into sadness, just into calmness, “I feel different too. Lighter. Like I can see things better, clearer. Maybe letting you go also meant letting go of feelings that were dragging me down. Desperate, ugly feelings that made me so careless for you that I didn’t even see what I was really doing to you. My tunnel vision hurt so many people. But I'm opening my eyes wider now.”

“Balance is restored.” She said softly. 

He hummed, melancholic, he wondered if this was part of the reason Mark wanted them out of the safehouse together, to get proper closure. Not rushed and quiet in the corner of the kitchen where they’d get interrupted, but a proper conversation. 

One that tied everything up and left nothing unsaid. They could finally close this chapter and leave it in the past. They knew what they felt, they knew that things were so complicated and awful that maybe not everything was fixed or forgiven but at least it was clear where they stood. 

They weren’t friends, she wasn’t going to be inviting him out to brunch or her wedding but there was serenity between them. He’d always love her and he was happy enough with that.

“Yeah, it is.” He said. 

She fell silent as he led them into an empty coffee shop. Heiran was pulled from her thoughts as she looked around to take in the little shop as her eyes landed on the only other customer. 

“Jaebum.” She whispered, her hand trembling as she reached out to grab his arm. 

His eyes darted to hers and he followed her gaze to the man standing off to the side, waiting for his drink order. Jaebum took a sharp breath just as her former CEO looked over and did a double-take. 

“Oh Heiran, how are you?”

She was immobile while she took in his jovial smile. It discomforted her that even while knowing what she did about him, his smile seemed normal and honest. He was so two-faced.

Jaebum pinched her lower back and she snapped out of her daze and tried to seem normal, “G-Good, sir. Good. Getting coffee so late?”

He chuckled as a barista set his cup down, “Yes, burning the midnight oil. How’s the job hunt going?”

“Uh—slow, I’ve just had so many things going on recently.”

“Of course, priorities are impor