Heiran stared at a picture of a The Girl With The Pearl Earring on her computer, spinning her chair in her home office from side to side while looking at it. 

She loved it and even though it was nothing like being able to stand in front of the real thing, she was mesmerized. There was something about the faraway look in the girl’s eyes that put her in a trance. She looked like she was staring into your soul, knowing all your hidden secrets and watching you pretend like they weren’t yours. 

The sound of the doorbell ringing pulled her out of the trance. She switched tabs, opening the one synced to the cameras out front and felt her lips hitch when she found Yugyeom standing outside the door. Mark had left earlier in the day to take care of something that she didn’t ask him about and had promised to come back. Lucy was in school which meant the house was silent and she was thrilled to have anyone over. 

Racing down the stairs, she swung the door open and beamed when he held up a bottle of wine, “I didn’t bring glasses.”

-----

“Just get on with it.”

Mark winced at Yeonhee’s cold tone, she showed up at his old apartment after he had sent a text asking her to come. Judging by the distance she kept and the fact that she didn’t initiate it into another instance where they’d end up in bed, he had a feeling she knew where this was going.

Yeonhee wasn’t dumb, though she pretended to be none the wiser, she always knew what was going on around her. 

He looked at his hands, curling his fingers as he mulled over what he was going to say. He hadn't really given himself time to plan out what to say, in fact, he tried his best not to think too much about this entire thing at all until they were seated across from each other, “This isn’t working anymore.”

“ you.” She snapped.

He closed his eyes, “It’s not yo—“

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence like I’m some random girl you met on Tinder.” She barked. 

He opened his eyes, his gaze hard, “This is messy, getting involved with someone in GOT7 was a bad decision and it’s just gotten more and more complicated the longer we do this. We need to stop and just cut our losses before this ruins us anymore.”

She scoffed, looking away, “We’ve been ing for 5 years and now it’s suddenly not working?”

“Be honest, it hasn’t been working for you either.” He grumbled, “What we’ve been doing, hooking up, it’s not sustainable. It was instant gratification and then spending the rest of the time feeling like .”

She glared at him, venom dripping, “It was working just fine for me so how come you just get to make this call?”

“I know that’s not true. You wanted more than what we had and I couldn't give that to you. I assumed that because we agreed on no strings attached that nothing else mattered, not even when you made it clear that feelings were getting involved. I was a and I should've said something sooner. I don't want to keep ignoring that this is headed for disaster. Why stay stuck in this thing that's keeping us both miserable when you could find something better with someone who can actually give you what you want?” He asked.

She stared at him for a long silent moment before speaking, her voice low, “Why did you even start this with us if you hated it so much?”

He looked away, the heaviness in his chest uncomfortable, "I didn't think it'd get complicated or that I'd be hurting you. I knew that relationships weren't for me, I didn't think I had the capacity or soul for that. I never said anything because deep down I knew you'd be there, even if you weren't happy, I was so ing selfish. Even if I broke your heart or made you sad, you'd still come over, you'd still let me in. All while knowing that I didn't feel the same."

“, I hate you so much right now.” She hissed. “You’re a ing murderer, Mark. That’s all you do. You’re a glorified hitman. Get off your moral high horse and stop acting like you're this better person doing the right thing.” 

He took a deep breath, “You can hate me but this is what we both need because there's no clean ending at the rate we're going. It's better this way, for us to go back to being colleagues and getting the job done without letting anything else get in the way of it. And maybe this is also what it takes to stop us from holding each other back from finding what we actually need.” 

“That’s not happening. There’s no going back to before, we both knew that when we started this.” She muttered.

He shook his head, “Maybe not, but we have to try. I’ve always admired the work you do, you’re good at your job, you’re important to GOT7 and to this team. I won’t do anything to jeopardize that.”

She laughed dryly, “How diplomatic of you.” 

Silence dropped over them and she just started at the chipping doorframe before she spoke, “In the 5 years we slept together, did you ever, even for a second, feel something more than just wanting to get off?”

“I don’t think so, Yeonhee.” He said honestly, “I didn’t think that I could feel like that about another person, or that someone like me was even allowed to, that's how I felt the entire time we were together. That's why we were doing it no strings attach. Because I didn't have strings. You said it yourself, I’m a murderer.” 

Her eyes softened a fraction before they froze over again, “And now you think that things changed and you’re able to feel those things that but just not with me.”

“That’s not what I said.” He huffed. 

She leaned her head back, “It’s because of Heiran, isn’t it?”

“No.” He hissed through his teeth, his body tensing. 

Yeonhee’s lips curled up, “Let me guess, you spent enough time with her that you got a glimpse of her perfect little normal life with her cute little daughter and you thought to yourself that maybe you could be a part of this life, her life. You’re just playing yourself.”

“That’s not true. This had nothing to do with her.” He growled. 

She laughed, “She’s not making room in her life for you, Mark. I’m sorry to break it to you, she’s not looking for a husband and her daughter isn’t looking for a new dad. You’re temporary in her life, don’t embarrass yourself by making decisions because of her. Yeah, she’s in a ty situation but that woman actually lived a pretty decent life. She’s not about to slum it with a criminal like you. You're part of her routine until you're not.”

“Stop, Yeonhee.” He whispered. 

“Why!” She yelled, tears forming, “Why do I have to make this easy for you! Yeah, I’m cold and I can be a sometimes, but I actually really like you. I’ve had feelings for you for as long as I can remember. From the first ing day you walked into this hole. Why do I just have to be okay with you ending things between us? I’m not as emotionless as you think I am!” 

He felt his breath catch and his heart sink, “I'm sorry, that's all I can say, but for what it’s worth, I never, not for a second, thought you were ever a or emotionless. You were just a girl who had it just as hard as I did. I think that’s why it felt like we understood each other but we can’t do this anymore. I can’t keep hurting you and act like I’m not.” 

“Bull.” She wiped the tears before standing, “I don’t care what you tell yourself but anyone in a 100-mile radius knows there’s something going between the two of you. I don’t know her well enough but I know you. I know when you start acting out of character.”

“Yeonhee plea—“

“I heard, you know.” She said while boring into his eyes, “I heard how the Boss reamed you out when he found out Jackson almost shot her because you didn’t stop her. I heard what you said to him. You’re not fooling anyone.” 

His jaw tensed and his eyes narrowed but he was deathly silent, his stare following her as she grabbed her things and made for the door. She had a grip on the doorknob before turning to him.

“I can’t stand you but for your sake, I hope you figure out why exactly she makes you act differently because the sooner you do, the sooner you can realize why it’d never work out.”

-----

“I still don’t get it.” Heiran mused as she took a hearty sip of the tart wine. 

They were both stretched out on her couch, finally getting a chance to catch up with each other, “You were living in a beautiful city, you were making serious bank, I saw your instagram feed, you had friends and a social life. Why leave that all behind just to be back here?” 

He pursed his lips, “I don’t know, it was fine I guess, but nothing felt…stable. I had friends but it felt like college where 90% of the people you call friends you probably won’t see after you graduate. I’m too old to be doing that. I want to be around the people that will be in my life for the long run, I have friends here who are like that. Plus work was boring, no amount of money in the world makes that appealing.” 

She frowned, using her toes to poke at his waist, “I get that, I really do, but you had a girlfriend, you were living with her. That has to count for something. Are you guys going to do long distance?”

A bitter smile graced his face as he took a sip. “We just didn’t work out."

She snorted, “You chose to stay in another continent to be with her, it can’t just not work out.”

“It does when you come home to her ing the colleague she spent the last month complaining to you about.”

She froze mid-sip, “.”

“I know what you’re thinking but please do not track her down and try to sue her for me or something.” He chuckled. 

She bit down on her tongue, that was exactly what she wanted to do. She had always been protective of him, “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

“Didn’t matter. I was sad when it happened but then I realized that I could be coming home and nothing was making me stay. So I took it as a blessing.” He said lightly. 

She frowned, thumbing the stem of her glass as she watched him. He was always an optimist but that meant that he wouldn’t let himself focus on the parts of himself that made him sad, no matter how much he needed it. 

“It’s not a blessing. It’s ty and she’s a ty person for cheating, but you’re meant for big things, Yugyeom. You always have been and you’ll always have a family here. We’re your roots, but don't let that be the reason you hold yourself back.”

Yugyeom groaned and knocked back the glass of wine, “It’s too early and I’m too sober to get this emotional. What about you? How’s life been for you?”

Heiran couldn’t honestly answer that question and she couldn’t blatantly lie to him. “Busy. I’ve just been busy, you know.”

“With work?”

She nodded and Yugyeom looked annoyed, “Why do you always do this to yourself? 

“Working?” She asked dubiously, "It's cause I have a job."

“You work like you’re still in high school trying to save up to pay for everything. Like you don’t have enough money as it is.“ He said. 

She pursed her lips, “It’s not about the money.”

“Yeah it is. You’re so used to growing up without enough that you’re obsessed with making sure your kid doesn’t live the same life. But you’re so goddamn rich that you could retire today and still pay Lucy’s tuition 4 times over.” He said.

“What’s your point?” She asked, knitting her brows. 

“Slow down. Go and take Lucy for a vacation. Go on dates.”

“Ah, there it is.” She deadpanned, “I’m not dating anyone. I’m not going to date anyone. I feel like you of all people shouldn’t be encouraging me to do it.”

Yugyeom shrugged, “I’m not scarred for life because she cheated on me. It was one ty relationship, doesn’t mean my future ones will be as ty. You should think that too.”

“Yugyeom I don’t want to be having this conversation right now.” She said tiredly.

Yugyeom sighed, “Not everyone will be like your ex, you know. Not everyone will just leave.”

She picked at the thread on her silk dress and frowned, “I love Lucy, she’s my entire world and everything and every person comes second to her. But one thing is, no one wants a kid that’s not theirs. I don’t need to bring that around her and I don't need to her to constantly get attached to male figures who disappear.”

Their conversation stuttered to a halt when she heard the front door open and Yugyeom leaned back to look in that direction but before she could see Mark, she heard him, “Hey duchess, whose car is out th…”

His voice trailed as he stepped into the living room and found the two of them. Lucy was standing next to him, her fingers curled into the hem of his shirt. She had always been clingy but when Mark refused to hold her hand, she took to clinging onto his shirt whenever they walked around together. 

He stiffened a fraction before glancing at Heiran. She could read the harshness in his eyes, his way of telling her off because he hated being around Yugyeom ever since he found out he was a cop. He was probably yelling at her in his head for not texting him a warning. 

“Yugyeom, right?” Mark asked. She knew that he knew his name. 

Yugyeom stood, wiping the hand that was damp from the chilled wine glass and held it out, “Yeah, hey, Mark.” 

Heiran stood, setting her glass down before holding her arms out to Lucy who hurried into her hug, “Hi mom.” 

She peppered the side of her head with kissed before pulling back, “Hi sunshine, why don’t you go get changed and I’ll make you something to eat, yeah?”

Lucy beamed and nodded before waving at Yugyeom, “Hi Yugyeom!”

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