Reading books aren’t something Sae Ri would call her passion. It was more like a hobby. She was not an avid reader. She has only read selected books, some on the recommendation of Suho and some which were very famous or with which she could relate. However, there was only a few which she had actually finished reading. She often gave into her temptations and read the endings. She was a composed and patient woman but when it came to books, she could not resist reading the end. Suho didn’t know that and if he found out, he’ll kill her. Long novels would wear her out. She had a special respect for those who could read 800 pages in two days. It was way beyond her ability to do that. At rare moments, she found herself not wanting to stop reading.

She didn’t know what led her to a bookstore on her way back home. She stood outside staring at it for a good thirty seconds. “I don’t need them anyways.” She reasoned and continued walking on the same road. “I did the right thing. I don’t have room to keep more books anyway.” She mumbled to herself as her steps started faltering and she came to a halt. “Maybe it will look good if I add some more books to my collection.” She jogged back to the bookstore and stared at it again. The owner of the bookstore recognized the face he had been seeing for three days now. “I bet you that she’ll buy the book today.” An older male, sitting beside the owner spoke and smirked. “I bet that she won’t buy the book today. She has the same look in her eyes today.” He muttered and continued observing at Sae Ri who was stomping her feet out of frustration.

That day she didn’t have the courage to buy the books.

A new day. A new morning. A new start. This meant another day for Sae Ri to stare at the bookstore creepily again. “Do you think she’s trying to tease us?” The older male sitting in the bookstore questioned the owner. “God knows that.” The owner sighed and went back to reading the newspaper. The ringing of the bell in the store caught the attention of the males sitting in the store. Sae Ri gulped and took in her surroundings. She has never been to a bookstore so it was a mystery to her as to how innumerable books were stacked in a small store. “You owe me money.” The owner whispered in the ear of the older male who was still shocked by whatever was happening.

Sae Ri slowly examined the different books trying to look for the specific book. She was at a bookstore for the first time in her life, she might as well take full advantage of this opportunity. She took small steps carefully reading the names and summary of the books she caught her attention. Her patience was wearing off when she didn’t find the book she was looking for. Sighing, she decided to explore the last section of the store. Her eyes had read and her hands had touched the covers of various books that day. It was only after a whole thirty minutes, was she able to find the book, rather books, she was looking for. Byun Baekhyun, she read and instinctively smiled as her hands grazed the cover of the book. She flipped the pages and examined the cover. The book smelled amazing, making her happy.

“I’ll buy these.” She placed all his six books on the counter making the males stare at her weirdly. “She is weird. I don’t like her.” The older male whispered in the ear of the owner making Sae Ri suspicious. That day, Sae Ri bought six books, six expensive books, and didn’t regret it. She was definitely going crazy now.

“What do you have there?” Baekhyun questioned when he saw Sae Ri struggling with a huge bag in her hand. “Don’t get me started.” She glared at him as if it was his fault. Who told you to write so many novels, that too with more than 5oo pages? Sae Ri wanted to throw this question at him right now but held herself back. “Let me help you.” Baekhyun walked towards her and tried to grab the bag for him making her turn sideways, avoiding any contact from him. “I can do it myself.” She mumbled and carried heavy books herself to her room leaving Baekhyun confused. 

“No, no, no. You are so stupid. You can’t do that.” Sae Ri whined when the protagonist tried to kill himself. She had to admit that Baekhyun was a damn good writer. His plot, cliffhangers, and characters were very interesting. She felt all emotions; excitement, euphoria, anger, guilt, sadness while reading his book.  She was reading the when the knock on her door startled her. The door opened without any warning leaving little time for her to hide the book behind her. “Are you alright?” Baekhyun asked her puzzled to see her tangled in the blanket and her hands behind her back. Her hair was disheveled and bags under her eyes suggested that she hadn’t slept well. “I heard you shouting so I got worried.” Baekhyun leaned against the doorframe and tried to see what she had hidden behind her back. “I was just talking to m-myself.” She stammered and tried to contain her frustration. Baekhyun didn’t buy her excuse but decided to give her the benefit of the doubt.

“If anything wrong, do tell me.”

And then he left the room, easing up Sae Ri. She released the breath she didn’t realize she was holding and continued to read the book under the blanket so that she could pretend that she was asleep if Baekhyun barges in again. She really wanted to go hug him and tell him that he did a great job writing this novel. This was coming from a person who rarely read books. She continued reading the book not noticing the door which was opening slightly. Baekhyun tried to get a look at what Sae Ri was up to these days. Her mysterious behavior was confusing him and he was getting slightly (a lot) concerned about her.

“I know you are there, Baekhyun.”

“Damn it! Every time.”

Baekhyun had been staring at the ceiling for forty-five minutes now. He was an idiot. He was a very, very stupid man. He was so driven by his work; his thirst for words had completely him. How could he do this to himself? How could he do this to her? He hated himself, he hated his life, he hated that he would end up hurting Sae Ri. She was a fragile flower with its petal wilting and falling on the ground. She was like the prettiest red rose in a garden, which when plucked would cause pain to the one who has plucked it. Baekhyun wanted to grow that red rose in his garden, watch it bloom, smile at seeing its color but he knew if he got closer to it, he would end up hurting himself and her.

He opened his laptop and began typing the words that were on his mind these days.

There was a girl, her smile the prettiest and pain the ugliest

She laughed when she was sad and cried when happy

She was the rose, she was its thorns

She was the moon; she was the sun and the stars too

Her eyes carried the pain of several and tears of one

Her laugh carried the love she failed to see

Her sadness carried the beauty of strength she failed to feel

She was the shattered glass, she was an autumn leave

My soul was evil, my eyes were fogged

I was up to no good, trapped in lust for words

Showed her the good in her, kissed her wounds

The innocence in her eyes wrecked my heart, tore me apart

The sunshine she was, and I, the storm

Strange feelings, warmth, butterflies, and love I felt it all

She took my heart and I, her trust

The tears in her eyes burned me to the ground,

Was it I or her who broke my heart? I never found out

A scream resonated in the apartment making him shut the laptop. Baekhyun shoved his duvet aside and he ran towards the source of the scream, his heart pounding worrying him. He barged into Sae Ri’s room and found her crying and screaming in her sleep. “Sae Ri! Wake up!” He shook her but she didn’t budge and continued fighting the forces of nightmare. “Sae Ri! Wake up!” Baekhyun tried once again, shaking her violently this time to wake her up. Sae Ri woke up with bloodshot eyes, with her face covered with a layer of sweat and tears. The trauma of the nightmare was so severe that she found herself breathless. “It’s alright. I’m here.” Baekhyun hugged her tight, kissing her forehead and caressing her hair. Incessant tears rolled down her cheeks and her arms wrapped around Baekhyun’s torso. She wept in his shoulder, and her hold around him tightened. “Shhh. Everything will be alright.” He whispered in her ear and caressed her hair, calming her down.

Sae Ri wasn’t sure what she was thinking when she followed Baekhyun to the rooftop of the building. She sure wasn’t sure but she certainly didn’t regret it. Baekhyun laid down the mat carefully and straightened its corner. “Come here.” He patted the space next to him and his eyes spelled trust me. She quietly sat down beside him and took the chocolate milkshake he held out to her. She sipped on the chocolaty milk not asking any questions from the man who led her here. “I come here when I can’t come up with ideas or I am frustrated. It is my escape place.” Baekhyun told her without looking at her, busy in appreciating the night sky. She wasn’t surprised by this sudden confession and just listened to what he had to say. “What’s your escape place?” Baekhyun turned his head to look at her and titled his head cutely. “Games.”  Baekhyun nodded his head and kept his milkshake aside, lying down on his back.

“Lie down.” Sae Ri felt like a robot who followed Baekhyun’s every instruction. She couldn’t read Baekhyun’s expression or understand whatever he was doing but she decided to ignore the urge to ask him and lied down on her back. “Do you know why I bought that necklace for you?” Baekhyun’s question was something that she thought every day. She wore the necklace every day, every second, not letting it out of her sight. She loved its presence on her neck. It was the most beautiful thing she had ever worn. She shook her head answering Baekhyun’s question. “It’s because it remind me of you.” She didn’t have the courage to look at Baekhyun and fixed her gaze on the stars. “Whenever I think of you, I’m reminded of the moon. It looks beautiful, all adorned in silver, shining in its glory, decorating the sky but when you look at closely, you can see the scars and bumps on its surface.” His metaphors weren’t beyond Sae Ri’s ability to understand. She clearly deciphered what he meant by his poetic words.

 “Do you know why the moon has no light of its own?”

Her confused expression made him chuckle. “It’s because the sun doesn’t want it to burn. It wants to share its pain.” This was the first time she had seen Baekhyun being ‘not Baekhyun’. His words threw her into flames of epiphanies. His words stirred something inside her.  Her eyes glittered with emotions when she faced Baekhyun who was already staring at her. “I can be your sun.” Baekhyun mumbled, his eyes carrying unreadable emotions. “I know it is tough for you to talk about your past but I’ll always be there for you, when you need me, to share the pain. It will lessen the pain.” Baekhyun’s smile somewhat seemed sad and his eyes sent butterflies go wayward inside her. Baekhyun eyes found their way back to the stars while Sae Ri grew restless in her position. She didn’t know what to do. Should she let her out or not? She went over the consequences and possible reactions to her actions in her head a thousand times.

“I-I was nine years old when I understood that my family was broken.”

Her sudden words made Baekhyun look at her. He could see her eyes gleaming with tears and hands trembling.

“It’s okay, you don’t have-”

“I have to.” She silenced him with those three words and heaved a deep sigh before continuing. “I had always seen my parents fighting and I didn’t understand why. Then I understood it was because of me. They were never meant for each other and were forced into a marriage alliance because of me. I was an accident. I was never meant to be born; I was never supposed to be a part of this world. My parents started hurting me as their arguments became a recurring situation. They started abusing me almost killing me sometimes. I wouldn’t be here if my aunt didn’t take me in. Suho and my aunt have always been there with me and I owe my everything to them.” Sae Ri found her hand in Baekhyun’s who gave a little squeeze assuring her that it will be fine. “At least you know now why I can be a rude sometimes.” She chuckled trying to hide the pain in her heart.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there with you that time. I wish I could erase those painful memories, wipe your tears whenever you cried, and hug you when you needed someone.” His fingers caressed her cheeks and softly wiped the tear drop that cascaded down her cheek. His slender lingered longer than she had expected making her almost lean in his touch. Baekhyun held her gaze making her feel vulnerable to certain emotions she didn’t want to face, emotions she was scared of, emotions she didn’t believe existed until now.