“This is your fault,” Niel grumbled. His face was creased, the harsh light of the traffic around them deepening the lines of worry and anger. 

“Yes. I know that,” Minsu growled back, his knuckles tight on the wheel. “That doesn’t get us out of traffic though.”

“Minsu, if we miss this musical he’s going to break up with us.” Niel was edging close to wailing. His flicked his phone between his fingers and tried to see around the car in front of them.

“Calm down.”

The car inched forward as the light changed.

“Look, we’re almost through now.” Minsu was chewing at his lip. “We’ll make it.”

A tense silence descended as the car came to a stop once more. The soft throb of bass through the speakers fell on deaf ears. Niel checked the time on his phone. 

“Do you really think he’d break up with us?” Minsu asked, a gnawing worm of doubt in his stomach.

“I don’t want to find out.” Niel gave an aggrivated sigh.

“Would you break up with us if we missed…” Minsu paused. There wasn’t much that was comparable for Niel. He was a Lit Major, he didn’t exhibit or perform. 

“Would you break up with us if we missed the exhibition gala?” Niel asked when Minsu didn’t continue.

“I mean—” Minsu slid the car through the intersection, eyes checking the clock. “It depends on why you missed it.”

“What if it was just because I have very bad organisational skills and didn’t account for traffic time?” Niel threw himself back in the seat with a noise of frustration. 

“Well, you’d have Chanhee with you so that wouldn’t happen.” Minsu tried for a smile. 

“You know this is why we need him, right?” Niel’s voice was blunt. He checked the time again.

“Yes. Thank you.” Minsu was losing patience now. “I am painfully aware of it right now.”

He lapsed back into brooding silence.

“Why can’t you ever be on time?” Niel snapped as they drew to another stop. 

“Sure, blame it all on me,” Minsu mumbled back.

“If the shoe fits.”

They began to move once more. Finally, they rolled past the accident. Lights flashed, men directed traffic, people slowing as they all gawked at the wreck. 

The lanes cleared around them. Minsu took an aggressive right hand turn. Niel thudded against the door. 

“Watch it.” He gripped the door handle. 

“You don’t want to be late. Then be quiet.”

Niel gave a loud click of his tongue in reply. 

=====

They climbed the theatre steps two at a time. Niel was lagging, his legs weaker than Minsu’s as they bolted the last of the four flights. The bell began to chime overhead as they stumbled into the bar area. Without exchanging a word, they tailed onto the end of the attendees down into the lower reaches of the theatre doors. 

Byunghun and Jonghyun were already in their seats when Minsu and Niel finally shuffled past them and sat. Minsu gave them both a tight smile. They waved, keeping quiet as they examined the looks on Minsu and Niel’s faces. 

Minsu sat down. The theatre was still buzzing with noise, people getting settled, chattering and whispering before the show began. 

He took a deep breath in. They had made it. Chanhee would come on stage and see them there. Everything was alright. 

He let the breath out once more. He was livid with Niel, actually. The one time Minsu had been ready on time and there had been an accident. Of course it was his fault. Of course it was lazy, artist Minsu that wore the blame. It definitely wasn’t Niel. He was an angel. 

He took another long breath in. That was mean. He didn’t really mean it at all. 

He let the breath out. He hated taking the blame all the time. 

The lights dimmed. The whispers came to a stop. He shook the thoughts from his head. They were here for Chanhee. 

=====

The dressing rooms were bustling. A long painted brick hallway with rooms branching off here and there. Flouroescent lights brought the stage makeup into stark relief as the performers moved around them. Half-dressed people waved a little as they pushed through the hall glancing into each room. 

“Chanhee!” A small man with a large voice yelled. “Your men are here!”

Chanhee appeared in a doorway two doors along. A bright smile lit his still-madeup face. “Oh! Just as I ordered them! Who do I tip?”

A ripple of laughter passed down the hall as Chanhee beckoned Minsu and Niel to him.

“Hello darlings.” He cupped Minsu’s face, kissing his lips in greeting. He fought to wipe the lipstick off before giving up and kissing Niel as well. “Did you like it?” He pulled them into the dressing room properly and began to pull his costume off.

Minsu took a wipe, scrubbing the lipstick away. “It was my favourite yet,” Minsu told him, tossing the wipe.

He didn’t look at Niel. They stood apart. They had not spoken since the car. 

“I loved it. The character dynamic between you and Changhyun’s character. Was his name Max?” Niel’s voice held a smile. 

“Mack,” Chanhee corrected. He sat at the mirror and swiped at the thick foundation with his own wipe. He left the eye makeup in place. 

“Yeah. Mack.” Niel repeated. 

Minsu peeked at him through the mirror. He was smiling blankly. 

Chanhee watched them both from the mirror. His hand slowing as he wiped the lipstick away. His eyes narrowed. “What’s going on with you two?” 

Niel and Minsu shifted. Minsu plastered a smile on his face. 

“Oh.” Chanhee’s face fell. “You didn’t like it. You thought it was dumb.”

“No!” Niel burst so quickly it sounded like a lie to Minsu, and he knew the truth. “No, we loved it.”

Chanhee’s lips pursed. He threw down the wipe and stood to pull his civilian clothes back on. 

“It’s OK.”

It was clearly not OK.

“You can tell me you didn’t like it.”

Minsu and Niel moved at the same time, both stepping to Chanhee to hold him. They ended up smooshing his mostly unclothed body between them.

“It really was my favourite,” Minsu mumbled into Chanhee’s stiff hair. “I want to come again next week.”

“Really, really,” Niel agreed. He pressed his lips to Chanhee’s face.

“Then why are you both being so…” Chanhee trailed off. 

They exchanged a look over Chanhee’s hair. There was a spark of irritation in Niel’s eyes. Minsu’s eyebrows twitched in response. 

“The drive over was a little stressful.” Niel was the one to break the silence. 

As Chanhee absorbed that information, a new figure barrelled into the dressing room. 

“Aren’t you dressed?” Changhyun asked. “Hurry up! Or we’ll leave you behind.”

“Looks like they might want to be left behind.” This voice was new, soft as they spoke from the doorway. 

“Byung!” Chanhee slipped out from between his boyfriends and went to embrace the man leaning on the door frame. “You made it!”

Byunghun gave Chanhee a squeeze and a soft laugh. 

“I did. I managed to get an earlier flight.” Byunghun slipped his hands into his pockets. “I was worried it might be the wrong theatre for a while. But everyone showed up and it was fine.”

Chanhee frowned, shooting a look at Minsu but staying silent. 

“Changhyun?” Jonghyun leaned around the door frame. His eyes grew wide as he took in the sheer amount of people in the tiny space. 

“Present!” Changhyun raised his arms and scooted back to nuzzle Jonghyun’s chest. 

“Are we going?” Jonghyun smiled. He gave everyone else a wave. “The cab is waiting.”

“Hurry up, Chanhee,” Changhyun called and disappeared into the hall. 

“Right behind you!” Chanhee abandoned Byunghun and pulled his shirt on quickly. “You two go. I’ll bring Byung along in a cab.”

Minsu smiled. He motioned for Niel to lead the way. The younger stopped, giving Chanhee a kiss and murmuring something softly to him. Minsu waited. When Niel was done, he pulled Chanhee into a hug, kissing his lips as well. 

Chanhee gave a laugh, looking at them with a bemused face. 

“See you soon,” Minsu mumbled. He gave Byunghun a fistbump on the way out.

=====

This time Minsu was lagging behind. Niel was trotting down the stairs of the parking garage quickly, half a flight ahead of him. Minsu grimaced. They needed to at least talk. 

“Niel!” He called, his voice reverberating through the empty lot. “Wait.”

He was given an impatient sigh but Niel stopped at the foot of the stairs. He looked back up at Minsu.

“What?” He asked as Minsu reached the bottom beside him.

“Why are you being such a crab?” Internally, Minsu kicked himself. That wasn’t quite what he wanted to say.

“I’m not.” Niel’s voice was sharp enough to cut.

Minsu sighed. He linked his arm through Niel’s and began strolling them toward the car.

“Why are you so crabby?” Niel asked, just as antagonistically. 

“Well.” Minsu took a deep breath. He kept his eyes on anything but Niel. “Because you touched a nerve.”

Niel’s hand tugged his arm, pulling them to a stop. 

“Wait. What?” 

Minsu sighed. He scratched his neck and closed one eye.

“Minsu?” All of Niel’s fight was gone. 

“I don’t like being the irresponsible one,” Minsu admitted. “I’m the oldest. I should be… y’know, responsible.”

Niel’s lips crinkled, sympathy coming into his eyes. He gave a long sigh and nodded. 

“I might have overreacted in the car,” Niel’s voice was reluctant. 

Minsu didn’t bother to reply. 

“It’s not your fault we were almost late.” Niel wrapped his arm around Minsu’s waist and they continued walking. “And you are responsible.”

“I’m really not.”

“Not often, no.” Niel smiled back. 

They climbed in the car. Minsu driving as always. 

“Look,” Niel turned to face him. “I was upset because he does so much for us. He’s always there, he’s always early, he’s so supportive and just… perfect.”

The car swept up the ramp and into the city.

“Don’t you ever get scared that…” Niel trailed away. His fingers twisted in his lap. 

Minsu waited in silence. Clearly this had been playing on Niel’s mind a while. They rolled to a stop at a light, he turned to look across the car. 

“I mean what if one day he realises he’s perfect and we’re messy?” Niel’s eyes were wide as they stared, green light reflecting in them. 

The car behind them beeped. Minsu shot through the intersection. 

Niel’s words left a dull ache in his heart. He knew what response Niel was waiting for. Normally he defused everything with humour. This bomb was too big. Too scary to touch.

He and Niel were messy. They had always been. Not just physically. They were disorganised, late, often unemployed and late bloomers. Chanhee was chic. He was clean cut and put together. He carried the team. Without him… It was horrible to even think about. 

“Minsu?” Niel whispered. He swiped at his eyes and gave a loud sniff. 

“I don’t know,” Minsu admitted. 

He pulled into a park, switching the car off. The sounds of the club district around them hammered on the windows. 

“Let’s just be happy that we’re here tonight.” Minsu ran a hand over his stubble. “Lets go and celebrate with his because that’s one thing we can do, even as the messes we are.”

 Niel gave a nod. He wiped his face, checked it in the visor mirror and nodded again.

=====

Prohibition was a swanky 1920’s themed club; exposed bulbs, brickwork and men in suspenders everywhere. It was just too tempting for a bunch of theatre nerds. 

The cast and crew of Chanhee’s musical filled out the entire seating and bar area. Their voices loud over the jazz music and small groups breaking into spontaneous, synchronised dance every now and then. Chanhee was in the middle of teaching Byunghun the steps when Minsu and Niel finally arrived. 

Minsu gripped Niel’s hand, watching from a distance as Chanhee instructed Byunghun and then disolved into laughter as Byunghun failed. It felt like someone was pummelling his heart as he watched; there simply wasn’t enough space for all of the adoration and affection. 

“You made it!” Changhyun called, spotting the two of them near the door. 

“Hey Changhyun!” Niel dragged Minsu forward. “Great show! I loved your character!”

“Thanks!”

Minsu gave Jonghyun a fistbump and a nod of greeting and continued on. He paused, turning back to kiss Niel’s cheek before he let go of his hand. 

Niel smiled at him. 

He left them chatting. He knew the Lit Major in Niel was dying to discuss themes or some such thing. He moved through the people, waving and greeting the cast members he knew. At last, he enveloped Chanhee in his arms, kissing his temple. 

“What took you two so long?” Chanhee asked, his voice light with fun. 

“Sorry.” Minsu kissed him again. “Do you need a drink?”

“I—” Chanhee swallowed down the last of his glass, “— do.” He grinned. 

Minsu laughed. He looked over at Chanhee’s best friend, “Byung? You need anything?”

“Still going.” Byunghun held his half-full beer up. “Thanks man.”

“He needs more, it will help his dancing.” Chanhee teased.

“I’ll be back.” Minsu gave Chanhee one last squeeze. 

He fought through the bodies to the bar. Wine for Niel, vodka for Chanhee, beer for himself. He ferried the drinks back, Chanhee taking his without missing a beat in his conversation. 

Minsu pressed the glass of wine into Niel’s hand. He smiled, leaning over to kiss Minsu before turning back to Changhyun. 

“Hey man.” Jonghyun seemed glad to have someone to talk to that wasn’t a theatre nerd. “How is uni going?”

“Good. Final year.” Minsu smiled wider as Niel’s hand slipped into his.

=====

“Come and dance,” Chanhee whined, one arm was wrapped around Minsu. The other was trailing behind him where Niel was holding his hand patiently.

“Go with Niel,” Minsu laughed. He apologised to Chanhee’s coworker that they had interrupted. 

She waved them away, a smile on her face as she picked past them and headed upstairs to the dance floor too. 

“See, even Hyojin is going to dance.” Chanhee tugged at Minsu again. “Come on.”

Minsu checked his watch. He was very sober, as the one that was driving them all home he had restrained himself to only two beers. Chanhee had not. He looked from Niel back to Chanhee and sighed. 

“We can stay for another half hour, then we’re going home.” Minsu relented. “And you’ve definitely drunk enough.”

“So bossy,” Chanhee complained, dragging Minsu to the stairs. 

“Minsu is the oldest, so he’s the boss.” Niel swung Chanhee’s arm.

“I’m just trying to keep you from waking up tomorrow too wrecked to perform,” Minsu objected, helping Chanhee up the stairs. The last of the sentence was swallowed by the loud electro swing.

Chanhee dragged them into the fray, dancing closely with them both until he spotted Byunghun. He dragged them smaller man over, dancing with him instead. 

Niel grinned, wrapping himself against Minsu. They swayed together, their hearts weren’t really in it as the beat picked up. 

“How very responsible of you,” Niel’s voice vibrated against his ear. 

Minsu gave a begrudging smile back. 

A body forced its way between them, snuggling against them both.

“I’m tired!” Niel yelled. 

“Let’s go home.” Minsu began backing them from the floor. They kept Chanhee sandwiched firmly in the middle. “Byung! We’re going!”

Byunghun nodded, following along and laughing as Chanhee’s arms flailed. Muffled noise was coming from him but beneath the music it was impossible to hear him.

“I need to go to the bathroom!” Chanhee announced as they reached the bottom floor again and released him. 

“Me too!” Niel grabbed Chanhee and they disappeared. 

Minsu sighed, rubbing his tired eyes. 

“You two make him so happy,” Byunghun remarked in his quiet voice. “Every time I come back, he seems happier and happier.”

Minsu smiled. “I’m glad,” he said finally. “Sometimes I wonder.”

Byunghun grinned and shook his head. “He’s literally the happiest I’ve ever seen him.”

“OK!” Niel announced their return. His lips were a little pinker and his cheeks flushed. Chanhee’s smile was bordering on a smirk. Minsu let out a huff of laughter. 

“Let’s go.” He took Chanhee’s free hand, squeezing it.

=====

The drive home was almost silent, just the soft throb of bass through the stereo. Byunghun sat up front with Minsu. Chanhee was already asleep against Niel’s shoulder by the time they stopped to pick up Byunghun’s bag from a locker.

They juggled keys and bags until Minsu was carrying a sleeping Chanhee, Niel had Byung’s bag and Byung had the apartment keys. Each gave a sigh of relief as they passed over the threshold. 

Minsu laid Chanhee in the middle of the bed and went to help Byunghun. Niel, after stumbling over the mess in the lounge three times, was sent to bed as well.

“I can help!” Niel protested. 

Minsu shushed him gently, giving him a long embrace. 

“Go to bed, love,” Minsu mumbled. “You’re a little too drunk for this. Go and keep Chanhee company.”

Niel’s argument died. He gave Minsu a long, passionate kiss, hands wandering over his body extensively. When he leaned away, his cheeks were flushed again. Minsu chuckled. Niel smiled and disappeared into the bedroom. 

He sighed, looking down at Byunghun as he laid out the airmattress. “It’s a little like wrangling cats some days.”

Byunghun laughed. “You looked awfully distraught there at the end.”

Minsu’s lips twisted in a smile, he gave a shrug.

They waited in silence as the airmattress inflated, working together to cover it with sheets and quilts until Byunghun was cosy. 

Finally, with everyone accounted for, Minsu shuffled into the bedroom. Niel and Chanhee were dead asleep, arms and legs tangled together. Minsu climbed in beside them. He sighed, laying and staring at the ceiling for a long moment. Almost as soon as he closed his eyes, he slipped off to sleep.

=====

He woke with Chanhee’s head on his chest and Niel’s hand at his hip. They were whispering softly but it was enough to wake Minsu as the daylight prickled his eyes. 

“Oh.” Chanhee’s head shifted. “Did we wake you, darling?”

“Mm.” Minsu rubbed his eyes. 

“Sorry.”

There was a shuffle of bodies and Minsu was rolled over, his arms now encircling the other two as they stared at him. He made a noise of exhaustion and closed his eyes once more. 

“What happened last night?” Chanhee asked, his voice was curious. It was clear he had been holding the question in for a while. “Why were you two so weird?”

“We had a fight in the car,” Niel’s voice was muffled against the back of Chanhee’s head. 

“Did you work it out?” Chanhee’s hand traced Minsu’s chest tattoos. 

“Mostly,” Minsu’s voice was pure gravel, he opened his eyes to find Chanhee Niel’s leg with his other hand. He closed them again. 

“Only mostly?” Chanhee pressed. 

The silence was palpable. Chanhee squirmed. He turned from one to the other as they stayed silent. 

“What happened?” His voice was sweet with concern. 

Still nothing.

“Come on.” Chanhee pulled himself out of the pile and sat up.

 Minsu opened his eyes as the warmth at his chest escaped.

Chanhee was looking down at them. “What happened?”

“Would you still love us if we missed the musical?” Niel asked quietly. His eyes weere clenched tightly closed. Minsu closed his own eyes again. 

“Yes,” Chanhee replied, there was a laugh in his voice. “I would be pretty mad about it. But of course I would still love you.”

Silence fell once more. Chanhee gave a confused laugh, squeezing Minsu’s arm. 

“What does that have to do with anything?” Chanhee asked. 

“We were almost late,” Minsu admitted. He kept his eyes closed. It was just easier if he didn’t have to see the disappointment. “I didn’t account for traffic. We only just made it.”

Chanhee didn’t reply. When he couldn’t bare it any longer, Minsu opened his eyes to peek. Chanhee was smiling indulgently.

“That doesn’t matter,” he said. “You were there. That’s what matters.”

Another silence stretched. Chanhee began to frown. 

“What else?” His voice was firm. “What’s eating you two? No secrets!” 

It was their one rule. None of them really believed in guidelines or rules in relationships but ‘no secrets’ was the one exception. Secrets were what tore people apart. Secrets were the ultimate sin. Especially to Chanhee. 

“It’s just that…” Niel started. He sighed, rolled over and covered his eyes with his arm. “Why do you love us? We’re horribly messy. And just, not great at being human beings.”

“Mm,” Minsu added. He kept his eyes on Niel. He couldn’t look at Chanhee. 

There was a big sigh in reply. The mattress moved as Chanhee repositioned himself. 

“You two…” He sighed again. “What will I do with the two of you?”

Minsu couldn’t decipher the meaning behind Chanhee’s words. He tried to sneak a look only to find Chanhee smiling at him. There was very clear exasperation on his face, but the smile softened it. Minsu’s heart thumped again. He couldn’t look away if he tried. Chanhee squeezed his cheek and laughed softly. 

“You ever stop to think I love you because you’re messy?” He asked, tugging at Niel’s pouting lip. “You ever think a little chaos is good for me?”

“How can chaos be a good thing?” Niel asked. He lowered his arm, confusion clear on his face. 

Minsu grinned. Niel was consistently battling his own chaos. He craved to be neat and tidy but never seemed to be able to get there. Minsu thought it was endearing, he thought it was the balancing factor between Chanhee and himself. Minsu’s face twitched as he came to the thought. Oh. Duh.

“Well, it means that I’ve learnt to slow down and listen. I don’t stay awake until 3am thinking about what I haven’t done, could have done and should be doing. I don’t freak out the moment something goes a little wrong for me.” Chanhee shook his head. “Did you really think I didn’t love you?” He swept down on Niel, crushing him beneath his own body. “Did our baby thing we didn’t love him?” 

“I’m not a baby!” Niel protested, but he did not throw Chanhee off as he usually would have. 

Chanhee smiled at Minsu from Niel’s chest. He beckoned him over. Minsu slid into their arms, relishing the kiss to his hair. 

“I’m not sure how many more ways to say it. But I do love you two. I’m not going anywhere.” There was a pause. “Except the bathroom because I’ve been holding it since Niel woke up.”

He kissed Minsu once more, kissed Niel, and climbed off the bed.

Niel moved to snuggle into Minsu. They didn’t bother to talk. Chanhee had already said everything.