“Class dismissed.”

Once every student’s favorite two words were out, the class went from silence to naturally noisy. They pack their bags in hurry and left the classroom not leaving the table and chair behind muddled and bid their teacher goodbye. When it’s only him in the empty classroom, Siwon finally heaves a sigh after another long day of teaching yet made no protest. It was like any other typical day that everyone might experience the same, except each people has a different occupation that made their life look sparkly different from others.

He was always grateful for having the chance again to breathe another day and so on. Why? It works the same every day and not knowing what’s going to happen tomorrow is the exception. Siwon woke up in the morning, had a small breakfast and drive straight to school and teach. When the dusk calls everyone go back to their own places and some may expect things for the next day while some go on with how the life flows. Death may come uninvited while people play life according to their desire.

Siwon head to the teacher office and pack a few things before taking his bag and dismiss himself from the busy office. The drive to his home was never that far from school and only traffic made it far to reach. Taking his patience instead of honking he tune up the radio and close his eyes. He has been working a little bit hard nowadays that his shoulders feel heavy. It would be nice to have a small workout later, he thought. Suddenly his phone rings and he picks them without seeing who the caller was. He never gave out his contact to any strangers so it’s obvious every person who calls him is someone he knows.

“Hello?”

“Siwon.” It’s his brother in law, Changmin.

“Oh hey, what’s up?” He heard his friend sighs, “What is it?”

“You’re not forgetting about today, were you?” Changmin sounds annoyed yet he doesn’t have a hunch what it’s all about. Did he promise to go out for a drink or perhaps, dinner? “You are coming, right?”

“I don’t know…what are you talking about? I’m on my way home now.”

“Today is Mina’s death anniversary.” Siwon widened his eyes and silence dominates him. Right, today is his wife’s death anniversary and he was supposed to take the day off. Feeling guilty and a sudden pang of headache, Siwon massage the bridge of his nose. How would he know when he doesn’t even know today’s date? The months, days and years have been very busy that he couldn’t manage his own time, let taking care of himself. He couldn’t lie more as everything he done was an excuse to get better, to be a better person he’s always willing to be. How long has it been since Mina’s death? 3 years? It hasn’t been that long yet whenever he tries to remember the accident all he felt was emptiness, not to mention there’s no sadness in it.

Exactly how and why the accident happened he barely remembers them. The details were told by Changmin after he woke up from the two days coma. To suddenly found out that his wife died shocked him to speechless. The boy had expected him to cry in endless tears but instead to be viewed with hollowness within the body of 23 years old man who loved his wife with all his life. Changmin thought there must be some side effect from the car accident, be it a memory loss or any syndrome that signify Siwon’s emotional state but according to the examination result there wasn’t anything out of ordinary. Only that Siwon fractured his rib cage. After the further meetings with psychologist they found out it was the result from Siwon’s trauma that forced him to unconsciously locking away the memory of the accident. Thus, making Siwon emotionally couldn’t feel much about that day.

“That’s the second time, Siwon.” Changmin sighs behind, “Be glad I’m always tolerating it.”

“Sorry.” Siwon tried to focus on the road as he made the u-turn, yet the uneasiness slowly filling him. “I’m on my way there now.”

“No, just visit my sister tomorrow.” Changmin sighs, “It’s getting dark… I’m going home.”

“Oh…Take care.”

“One more thing, don’t drive recklessly.”

“Alright.” It sounded as if he was the fault of the accident which if it’s real it’ll pretty much made sense. Siwon closed the call and place the Bluetooth earphone away. Changmin may insist him to visit Mina tomorrow, but he’s going to at least pay her a short visit. He thought of nothing on the way until he arrived at the memorial place, he went inside the building and look for Mina. When he found her, he smiled and says his greetings as he places the white flower he bought beside another one which probably is Changmin’s.

“Mina yah…I’m late, I know. I’m sorry. Changmin reminded me and it seemed like he must’ve brag about it to you… I think he’s mad at me right now. That kid is getting bold.” Then he speaks to her of his long days and in between he felt a tug when he remembers his old days with her. They may be together for a short time but Mina had played an important role in his life, he will never forget them. But something that has to be let go must be let go, despite hard at first. As time goes by he learns to let her go with having in mind that Mina occupies the warm spot in his heart. He believes she is there to watch the people she loves.

Siwon bid his goodbye and return to drive for home. The day becomes darker as he could no more see traces of sunset light, while the beautiful city light became more radiant and evident. Even the sight of no traffic made it better. When it’s time for him to cross the Han River he slows down the speed as flashbacks of his time walking with Mina appears. Sometimes they would enjoy the night breeze at Han River. Looking back again he could see his and her figure walking hand in hand with smiles on their faces.

But everything instantly disappears when he spot a young man standing on top of the bridge hand, spreading his arms and seemingly looking down before jumping. Siwon without a doubt immediately push the break and leave his car, running towards where the figure is standing. The breeze at night is unpredictable, the wind could instantly slither the boy away from the bridge hand and fall hard to the deep river below and at worst cases, drown. Chances of survival are low. There have been many cases of suicide at the bridge, why in the world he’s given the chance to witness one? No, he doesn’t want to see people ending their life when it’s not their time to die. Countless of reasons could be said but ending life isn’t the best option.

“What a crazy little—“ Siwon pull the boy’s arm until he falls hard to the ground. “I know what you will do but why? Is your life that worthless? Is ending it the best choice? For a young boy like you?”

“What- excuse me?” The boy has that puzzled face as he scoffed. “Old man, I’m not ending my life.”

“Not the right excuse, stand up.” Siwon orders and the boy obey, wiping off the invisible dust from his pants. “You are standing on top, what more can you say for me to believe you?”

“I said I’m not ending my life!” The boy raised his voice. “I’m not the suicide type! How many times do I need to say it?! Besides, who are you to into my damn business? You’re just an old man looking for attention!”

Old man? Does he look that old already? “Then are you going to stay still if you saw someone standing on top while looking down like what you did?” Siwon stated and the boy is taken aback.

“No. Instead, I will ask that person nicely instead of pulling them to the ground like that!” The boy fires back. The reason why Siwon didn’t ask him nicely was he afraid if the boy got surprised and slips. “Age aside, isn’t that considered rude? You see, what if you broke my back bone or injured my head?! I’m still a student. You may have to compensate me. I’m sure you don’t want that.”

Siwon sighs, and why is he having a fight with this young boy when his first intention was to prevent the suicide attempt? “A student like you should be home by now. Your parents must be searching for you.”

“I know, that’s why I… Tch…It’s really not a suicide attempt.” The boy said seriously and Siwon could see a glint of sincere on his eyes. “Whatever you do just don’t report me. I’m not leaving and… isn’t that illegal parking there?”

Siwon flashes a small smile as he look back to where he left his car. “You’re right, kid.”

“I guess that’s my fault there, sorry about that old man.” The winds are blowing their hair as they stare into each other eyes, yet it’s rather strong on such a random night even Siwon could feel the dust scratching his cheeks. It must’ve been the wind before heavy rain thing, “Now are we cool?”

Siwon scans the boy’s school uniform. It has a name tag and lion crest on the maroon blaze where he can find around the school he’s teaching. The uniform is from Jae Hwan High School. The boy is likely a student there but he never sees him. It pretty much made sense since there are at least two thousand students. One thing he knows the boy must be from social class since he’s only teaching the science class as a physic teacher. Plus, science and social buildings are separated. “Go home. Don’t make any more attempts, kid.”

“You bet I will.”

Siwon didn’t bother to look back as he approaches his car. He drives his way back home and in a blink of an eye he’s already laying on his bed staring at the ceiling. The days have always been exhausting but today was quite different. Not in a good or bad way, how do seeing suicide attempt of a young student counts? That was his first time. He couldn’t imagine hearing suicide news the next day about a student he saw making attempt yet he choose to ignore saving. If that really happens he will feel at guilt. But the student said it wasn’t an attempt, so what was it? Was standing on top while looking down wasn’t an attempt? When his foot was slightly taking a small step towards the hollow space?

When people feel life crosses the line of their patience, does ending them is the best option?