I am not sure where to start and where to end. Sometimes I feel, why am I not in the same boat? Was I late or did the boat had suddenly started moving faster and hence I had missed? There are such questions in my mind which was never answered.

Today, I know I am living, its like I am only breathing. I have lost all the interest that used to keep me alive. I have become a dead soul from within. And I know when I write this, 'twas exactly what I mean.

I met Heechul when we're in college. Our class had organized a trip somewhere in the countryside, where we stayed for four days and three nights. One of my friends had dragged Heechul along. Everyone knows him, he's everybody's friend. He'd been specially loud on the way and he made the trip fun and exciting for everyone. But sometimes he would would just sit alone in the corner, staring listlessly outside the window.

"What is he thinking?" I wondered.

I sat next to him one day, without being quite sure about why. He wasn't exactly my type, but I had to admit he had a very attractive facial features; big deep eyes, a well-shaped nose, and smooth red lips. He's everybody's dream guy, and up to this point I can't figure what I want from him.

"Jung Soo," Heechul called my name, still gazing to the garden infront of our homestay.

I stared at him for a moment, confused, and then turned to look at where he was facing. There was a large number of petals flying above us, moving randomly from one spot to another.

"You like flowers?" I asked looking at him again. His long hair was blowing and brushing with the wind.

"Not really," he said, shaking his head. "I was just... wondering."

One of the petals fell right before our eyes.

"I was wondering—why do flowers rot when they get plucked?" He continued. "Why will they die if you held on to them too tight?"

"Well," I said. It was a difficult question. "Because it's better for them if we just look at them rather than holding them tight because It will kill them" I answered as a matter of fact.

Heechul turned to look at me with a inquiring look.

We remained silent for a while watching the flowers falling from the sky. I had no idea why Heechul was being more open to me. Or could it be that he had actually many things to talk about, just that no one had sat beside him and actually listen to what he had to say?

"Is there something wrong?" I asked.

"I... want to run away," Heechul suddenly said with a sigh.

"Where?" I asked.

Heechul shook his head. "I'm tired of everything." He raised his head. "I wish we can run away from everything."

His mini declaration had shocked me a bit. I wanted to ask: what are you tired for? What do you mean by running away? But I decided to skip the question.

"Should we date?", Heechul continued. He's was staring at me and this thought came into my mind Heechul was like a puzzle, one with a lot of missing pieces and it could've been impossible for anyone to solve but a guy like me from nowhere found those pieces in me, inside my heart.

Soon, did I know a kiss that was the beginning of the dates, the fights, hugs, until all of it went deeper and deeper. And soon enough that same kiss that started everything for us is now starting again for him and someone else.

"You may kiss the bride" Yes, I'm here in front of God watching the guy I love saying his vows and I do's for a promise of forever.

The guy who was nothing to me and the guy I randomly met during a trip back in college, Is now a guy who is breaking my hearts puzzle pieces. The guy who I once had is now marrying someone else.

The truth is that love is like flowers, it would have been better if I just looked at you rather than holding you tight. If I did just that I wouldn't have lost you and your love wouldn't have died.

Did you know, meeting you made me devastated a couple of times. First time was shattered, cried for several months, broken on this day. It was always a one way traffic. We might have been a mistake.

But hey, Heechul, Is there a limit to how much you can love somebody?, No matter how much I hurt you or I got hurt by you, I find myself far from hating you. If I'd be given one last wish I hope that those wounds in our hearts will scar. I hope it stains in there like burn. So that I know that behind those smiles, I will not be forgotten. In those scars Our love is etched.

My love, as you hear the bells it would be my goodbye.