Chaeyoung doesn’t realize that she’s been holding her breath the moment Chanyeol reads his vows to the love of his life. Maybe because it reminds her of those times in the past, the times when she was less wise than today, the times when she thinks her goal to get married at her parents’ church could be accomplished with Chanyeol as the groom. It reminds her the nights she spent imagining how his vows would sound like, and what hers would be.

Park Chanyeol who’s standing in front of the beautiful bride is exactly nothing like the Park Chanyeol that she knew, that she remembers. Physically, nothing much changed. The whole vibe about him, though, is totally different.

During the early days of her being thrown into the world of single ladies again, she didn’t believe in the idea that Chanyeol could love another woman more than he did her, even though in actuality, he was never in love with her in the first place.

When she stares at Chanyeol’s shaking hand that’s holding the mic, his other hand that’s holding a paper containing his long vows -also shaking, how he takes the deepest breath after smiling nervously at his bride, Chaeyoung acknowledges everything.

As Chanyeol and his bride exchange their kiss, Chaeyoung feels a hand sliding into hers. Jungkook gently holds her, silently intertwining their fingers and Chaeyoung feels the breath that she’s been holding the whole time leaves her calmly, her chest feeling light. She squeezes Jungkook’s hand in return and as she stares at the side of Jungkook’s face, she feels a fresh determination being born within her.

This time, she’s determined. This time, she will really let Chanyeol go.

*

“So…” Jungkook begins, lifting his phone, showing her the messages she’s sent him. “Should we talk about this?”

They have both picked a spot at the corner during the reception, a little private for them to sort out whatever unspoken things that’s been happening between them two.

Chaeyoung stares at his phone and inhales deeply, nodding her head. There’s no way she’s backing out now. She lifts the glass to , sipping on the beverage for a moment. “I…” she begins softly. “I want to say I’m sorry… for ignoring your texts.”

Jungkook juts out his bottom lip, nodding his head before taking a sip of his drink. “My texts?”

She bites her lips and sighs, every regret birthed during the times she was ignoring him is now hanging off her face. “I’m really sorry for ignoring your texts and calls,” she corrects herself, and Jungkook nods, approving it.

“After the night I spent at your place… I realized a few things. A lot of things actually,” she clenches her fist briefly before she looks up and stares straight into his eyes. “I’ve never been able to really move on from Chanyeol.”

She notices the change in Jungkook’s expression. His face falls and Chaeyoung feels panicked that she won’t be able to say everything that she wants to say. Nevertheless, she needs to let out.

“I dated a few people after him. But I just couldn’t do it, the relationships never lasted because of him.”

Jungkook’s frown becomes more evident, his eyes downcast.

“And then, you happened,” she says breathily, the air leaving her lungs in a rush and Jungkook’s eyes flick back towards her. “I don’t know if you realized it, but…” she pauses, looking away as she feels embarrassment cupping her cheeks.

“But maybe-” she pauses, shaking her head at the word ‘maybe’. “I’ve been…” she stammers, doesn’t really know how to properly say it. She groans to herself. “I’ve been attracted to you since day one,” she says everything quickly, squeezing her eyes shut for a second before she awkwardly adds, “I guess.”

Jungkook doesn’t say anything, only drawing in the longest breath before he continues sipping silently. She appreciates it, because she hasn’t finished.

“And… and… and you’re such a big flirt!” she says accusingly at him, and Jungkook raises a brow. “You got me flustered all the time and you got me confused because this thing- the thing between us- we’re only supposed to be fake dating. But you’re so into the whole agenda of making it natural and I just- that made me confuse whether it’s all about acting naturally so people will fall for it or you’re actually not pretending at all.”

Jungkook exhales. “Chaeyoung-”

“I know! You told me that you’re pretending to be fine with the fake relationship,” she cuts him off and finishes the sentence quickly. “After you told me that, I didn’t feel confuse anymore. And I thought that everything is going to be just fine and we kissed and I felt happy about it and I realized I am actually moving on from Chanyeol.”

His eyes spark. His tongue darts out to wet his lips and he seems as though he has something to say when he opens his mouth but Chaeyoung shakes her head instantly, holding up a hand.

“Please let me finish first or else I don’t think I’ll be able to do it.” When Jungkook closes his mouth, Chaeyoung continues, “But I got scared. I have a lot of questions in my mind. Like, a hell lot. I’m not kidding. We started as an act… what if it’s gonna end up the same like what happened with Chanyeol? I kept questioning that to myself.”

Jungkook’s face softens at her and Chaeyoung feels her heart twisting at another question that she has in her mind. “And I’m… I’m falling fast too, Jungkook. That makes me scared of the possibility of me treating you like a rebound. I don’t want to treat you like a rebound. But what if I am treating you like one, but I don’t realize it? My friends told me that I’m not. That it’s different. With you, it’s different and they realize it too. And then, when I felt like that concern has been crossed off the list of things I should be concerned of, I remembered our deal.”

She feels a lump growing in . She drinks up everything in her glass with hope that the lump will leave. Chaeyoung draws in her breath. “After the wedding is over, this relationship will also be over,” she says with a low voice, her lips subconsciously pout. “I kept thinking, what if you want this to be over?”

When she finally dares herself to look at Jungkook, she feels slightly uneasy at how he’s lightly scratching the back of his head. “Well…” he begins after a while. “You’re right about that one, though.”

She feels a violent stab at her heart. “What-” she swallows hard. “What do you mean?”

“Uh… that’s exactly what my plan is.”

It feels like the embarrassment is crawling up her skin, wrapping its burning fingers around and she thinks she wants to cry as she holds her breath for a few seconds. “To…to–” She can’t bring herself to say it.

Jungkook places his glass at the table nearest them before he comes back towards her and pushes one hand into the pocket. “To end it. I want to end it. Anyway, the wedding’s considered over anyway. They got married. So, things should end now. If you don’t mind.”

Chaeyoung feels tightens even more. She immediately looks away when she feels like her eyes are beginning to shake. She blinks back the tears and forces a chuckle out.

“What are you saying?”

Jungkook sighs. “I’m saying exactly what you heard I said. I want this thing to be over now.”

“Like… like a breakup?” she says, her voice breaking at the word ‘breakup’. That cursed word.

A beat of silence. “Yeah,” Jungkook confirms, “Like a breakup.” And it breaks her heart even more that his tone sounds a lot like finality.

She bites her lips hard, nods her head slowly as the reality sinks in. She doesn’t want to look at him because she thinks she’s going to cry hard. She doesn’t know what else to say after wasting her saliva, explaining what has been circling her thoughts just to get herself into another breakup from the man who has saved her from the confines of Chanyeol.

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