Changkyun decided that he really hates doctors, all doctors really. Even though their job was to heal and improve life for those who need it, they were still pains in the for Changkyun. All they did was cause him problems and discomfort. 

He had not enjoyed his visit with the on-campus doctor and he sure didn't enjoy the company of this one either. However, this doctor was his obstetrician and he had no choice but to be friendly and grow accustomed to her presence because he would be seeing a lot more of her up until he gives birth, something else he was not looking forward to. Since he had committed to this whole pregnancy and baby thing, he had no choice but to keep quiet and follow the rules and regulations of something so complex and complicated. Part of which was routine checkups and visits with many doctors. This was all so inconvenient and Changkyun sometimes wondered why he was going through this all when he had that option of ending it. But then he figured that he fell victim to his emotions all too easily when he was by himself. Human nature was a pain to deal with when he had all the logic he needed at his disposal. 

Changkyun was currently at the 'OB/GYN & Health Clinic' that was half an hour bus ride away that the on-campus doctor had recommended to him his first visit there. And while he had not returned to visit that doctor exactly, Changkyun had remembered the details and made an appointment to see the first available OB that could work with his schedule. So here he was now, a first of his soon to be routine checkup and an ultrasound at the end of his agenda. And he was purely terrified and in pure disdain of everything. 

The doctor had taken records at the beginning of the appointment like every other doctor's appointment he'd been to. Weight, height, blood pressure, everything note-worthy. Changkyun was most self-conscious of his weight but he was pleased to see that he had lost two pounds off of his already small frame. Changkyun was never confident in his body and weight loss to him meant progress in his body image and was a boost to his confidence. Morning sickness had its perks evidently in his mind, but his OB didn't think the same way he did and she made that clear with her frown and disgruntled hum. 

"You're bordering underweight and I would like to encourage you to gain some weight," she jotted down the information on her provided laptop where she could write whatever she needed for future meetings with Changkyun, "Since you are so close to being underweight and if proper action isn't taken, there is a good chance of premature labor and a low-birth rate infant. I would advise you to gain at least 28 pounds by nine months of your pregnancy to enforce a healthy baby," she noted with a smile and in all honesty, how could she do that? 

Changkyun was painfully self-conscious of his weight, did not like a number put to it and hearing his weight today, even though lighter than he expected, it still made his chest hurt and his stomach retract as though trying to make himself smaller still. He didn't like others knowing his weight either, preferring that that information stay hidden and for his eyes only. He felt as though that number held a certain power over him and would define him, especially said out loud. Even having his doctors know his weight made him feel anxious and ill. His doctor must have noticed that much because she was speaking again while facing him with a kind and cautious smile, "Gaining weight isn't the easiest thing to do for most expecting mothers and fathers, but there are healthy ways to do so," her smile deepened and oddly enough, it comforted Changkyun immensely, "That doesn't mean eating as much as you can, eating for two doesn't mean doubling up on your meals either. The baby is only the size of a lime, they don't need a full meal to themselves. Gaining weight healthily will benefit both you and your baby and I can help you along the way with that, give you more information on healthy eating while still eating enough. Okay?" her smile was so kind and friendly and Changkyun found himself smiling back, qualms replaced with a still heart. 

"That would be nice," he nodded, and as an extra measure to show his appreciation for her concern, he added a quiet, "Thank you," to which she responded with another smile even though he avoided eye contact. She continued. 

"Now, on my chart, there was just an appointment for confirming the pregnancy, but no official due date was issued, and you told me that you think you're twelve weeks along, correct?" her professional demeanor was so kind spoken still and Changkyun was enjoying her company a bit more even with the knowledge that she knew his weight. She must be magical. 

"I know I'm twelve weeks along actually, I know the exact date of conception," Changkyun corrected as he twiddled his thumbs. He was growing increasingly nervous about what was ahead of him and this was nerve-wracking. He didn't really want to be here, but he could also identify excitement in his system. He was still on the fence about this whole ordeal, but he could not deny that he was excited to have an ultrasound, while he was also dreading the prospect and wanted this over with. There were so many mixed emotions and honestly, he couldn't pinpoint what he was really feeling. He imagined that this is what bipolar disorder felt like to deal with. 

"Well then, if you're so sure, we can do an ultrasound and squeeze in an exact estimate of a due date based off of your claim. Then we'll do some mandatory tests to test for any birth defects such as Down Syndrome. Are you willing to do that today?" it was like this OB could read his exact emotions and Changkyun felt nervous in her presence, but then again, he figured she dealt with a lot of patients in the same situation Changkyun was in. All he could do was nod again, too afraid to speak out loud. This was all so odd to him. Last time he had seen a doctor about his pregnancy, he had been so sure he was getting rid of it, but now he was going to see the baby with the intention to father it. It was absurd and so bizarre, and he was having doubts yet again about his decision. 

Changkyun was instructed to lift his shirt and he did so hesitantly and while he had avoided looking at his stomach, looking at it now he could see a minuscule difference. It was still flat and even concave at his waist as he laid down, but there was a noticeable difference lower in his pelvis. There was a small mound that rounded out just below his belly button. It was so small and almost unnoticeable if you didn't know what his stomach looked like before. It was almost nothing, but with how closely Changkyun observed and criticized his own body, it was easy for him to notice. He wanted nothing more than to hide under large sweatshirts and pretend this never happened, but he didn't have that option. He had to reveal his body for another few minutes so the doctor could do what she needed to do, and then he would be done and could hide as much as he wanted. 

With gloves now on her hands, she braced herself for the next step on the agenda and she knew that this would cause problems from what she had observed from Changkyun already, "I'm going to feel around for the baby and the position of your uterus, and I want you to know that I am not judging anything about you. I am more concerned about the baby than your body," she waited for a few seconds until she received a nod from Changkyun but she didn't miss the look of dread on his features. She wasn't going to state her opinion on his body no matter how good he looked because that was going to make things worse. That meant she was thinking about his body and observing it and with how self-conscious her patient was, she couldn't do that to him. 

She gently laid one hand on his lower abdomen where the small mound was to feel around and as her hand glided across the pale skin, all Changkyun could feel was his skin crawling. The doctor was touching him and it was torturous. His fists were clenched at his sides and he was refraining from shoving his OB's hands away because she was doing her job and feeling around for his and the baby's well being. He wanted to hide away still, but he dealt with it for the time being. She was almost done anyway and when she was she pulled away and smiled, "Your uterus is in a good position and your baby is starting to fill out and grow upward in your uterus towards your abdominal cavity, so you'll start showing soon. And I can actually feel your baby, and like I said earlier, your baby is the size of a lime or a plum, about 2.1 inches long. And now that baby's got pretty much all his or her important organs by now, his or her main job is to keep on growing," she smiled and while Changkyun was still recovering from the embarrassment he felt, he couldn't help but feel pride for the small being in his lower belly, which was so odd to him. A small smile crept onto his lips and it must be the hormones because he felt a small peak of joy at the prospect, "We can move onto the ultrasound if you're ready."

And so they did, some gel was applied to Changkyun's lower abdomen right over the tiny, tiny distention and a wand spread it as the OB checked for the position of the baby. It took a few seconds before she found it and once on the screen, Changkyun felt that same peak of joy while also feeling indifferent as he stared at the monitor to his side. He could obviously see the head and he could even pinpoint the outline of the baby's nose, which his OB made sure to point out a few times. She would point to the body and identify different body parts, but to Changkyun, it was all so faded and grainy that he nodded along even though he didn't see much of anything. He didn't want to speak up for fear that his voice would crack and he would make a fool of himself, "Baby is on the left-hand side of your uterus and your placenta is on the right-hand side," she stated as the body disappeared momentarily while she also pointed at the anatomy of his uterus. Changkyun momentarily pondered on the fact that he was left-handed and he thought that maybe it was the luck of the draw that his baby just so happened to be on his left side as well. It was fleeting, but enough to be a memory to relay later. The rest of the ultrasound, he stared at the head most of the time and traced that nose with his eyes, burning it into the back of his eyelids. He was in a trance, amazed by what was in front of him and considering how this person was inside of him. He had checked out entirely for a bit as he stared at the screen before he was knocked out of his stupor by a soft sound filling the room that steadily grew louder. 

He listened for a bit as he attempted to decipher what he was hearkening before he received his answer through the soft voice of his doctor, "That's your baby's heartbeat," she cooed with a soft smile and Changkyun couldn't help but think that she loved her job with how overjoyed she seemed. 

But he focused on that heartbeat more than anything and he couldn't help but think and feel how mesmerizing it was. His OB was now pointing at the screen where a small, fluttering shape was bouncing along the screen and he realized that was it. The heart. It was so fast and so loud and he was finding himself concerned as he overlooked the joy. Practically was returning and replacing all the positivity and confidence, "Why is the heartbeat so fast? Are they okay?" the concern he felt in his heart was palpable and it was the most felt emotion he had portrayed this entire visit. At least he thought so, hoping he'd hidden the other various emotions he had felt from his doctor. 

"A normal heart rate for a twelve-week fetus is around 120-140 beats per minute, and your little one is sitting at an average of 135 BPM, a very healthy heartbeat. You're doing a very good job, Changkyun-ssi," she smiled happily. Even with his indisposition towards this pregnancy, he was still showing enough care and concern because this was his baby after all and he had made a choice, "You can record the audio on your phone if you would like," she offered, knowing other parents often did so, but she had to remind herself that Changkyun was not like her other patients. He was hesitant and still struggling with acceptance as well as willing himself to show emotion and a personal attachment. 

"A very healthy heartbeat," he murmured to himself, quiet enough to go undetected by his OB, "That's good," he made no move to grab his phone, and so the obstetrician recorded her own copy of the heartbeat for Changkyun's file. She figured recording the heartbeat would be too much for him, made it too real even though it was obvious now. She wouldn't push it, that wasn't the right thing to do. He would process and grow more comfortable as time went by. There were plenty of opportunities for him to catch the later heartbeat samples if he so desired. 

"I would like to think that I have an estimate of your due date, but like I said, it's an estimate and the due date is really up to the baby. Unless you need to be induced which happens about 20% of the time," Changkyun nodded, acknowledging that he was listening and retaining what he was being told. He felt like he couldn't speak, afraid his voice would crack and choke due to the shock of this all, "Based off of your information and the development of your baby, twelve weeks seems correct, and looking at a calendar," she trailed off, typing something into her laptop before turning back to Changkyun, "May 17th seems to be the magic date, but we'll have to see how you progress and consider whether or not that is accurate," she recorded that date in her database to keep on hand for future reference. Everything was going to be based on that date. 

May 17th. That would be after finals are over, but as his OB had noted, the due date was up to the baby who could come early or late. Changkyun momentarily panicked to himself and mentally swore up a storm because when everyone else was going to be focusing on their finals and getting enough sleep while also staying awake long enough to memorize material, he would be getting ready for his baby and preparing to give birth while also dealing with finals stress. He was going to be screwed and he was going to feel the most stress he's had to deal with to date, not even finding out he was pregnant could top that. He was getting into much more than he had initially imagined. 

The OB continued with measurements, measuring the neck of the baby to see if there was buildup around the area. Even with mixed emotions about the baby, Changkyun hoped they were healthy and wouldn't have a disability, even though he knew there was nothing wrong with that. He had a distant cousin with Down Syndrome, it happened. It would just be more stressful since he's so young and in college still, and that being so, he wants things as easy as possible given the circumstances. 

"Everything looks good, but I'm going to take blood samples from you if you don't mind and this will further determine the health of your baby," she smiled invitingly and even then Changkyun just wanted to be done, wanted to go home and take a nap before he had to go off to class. He hadn't gone to work this morning in favor of taking this visit, he wanted to make those hours up sometime this week and he could probably take a shift if someone called in or there was more help needed in food prep. He needed money to pay for this baby. He was already making payments with this appointment that would be billed to his account, "This is always fun, but would you like a printout of your scan to take home with you?" even the patients that came in not particularly excited about being pregnant or having a baby always jumped at the chance to get an ultrasound to take home. Maybe Changkyun would, too. 

And to be honest, Changkyun almost turned down her offer. It seemed too personal to have a picture of his baby to keep with him as though he was excited about everything, but he suddenly remembered that he can be vulnerable here. He was allowed to feel things and maybe he was obligated to, but part of him also wanted it. It would be nice to look at, he couldn't deny that. It would be a picture of his baby, and more specifically a picture of his baby inside of him, and that was really cool. He was free to do parent things and he figured that the least he could do is receive the first picture of his baby readily. Afraid to speak still, he nodded and the smile he received was all too comforting. His OB was good at her job. 

She removed the wand from Changkyun's middle and moved to grab paper towels before clearing up her own equipment, "You can clean yourself up and after the blood sample I'll you back to the waiting room to speak with the secretary about setting up our next appointment," she was smiling still, happy to see how much better Changkyun appeared in comparison to his first few minutes at the clinic. 

Changkyun tentatively took the paper towels and quickly wiped off all of the sticky gel before sitting up, keeping his eyes trained on his flat stomach. There was no bump at all anymore as it disappeared with his good posture, completely flat and no curve to showcase his developing pregnancy. He wasn't showing yet, there was no difference in his body, but there was a baby in there and he had proof. That proof was going to be in his hands in a short few seconds, and he hated that. 

The ultrasound made it all real, made it concrete. There was a baby coming and part of him still wished he wasn't pregnant but all this personal relativity made this all that more complicated. He was excited, but it was a dreadful type of excitement. He had never wanted kids and now he had made that choice to keep this baby, so who was he to complain? He'd made his decision and there was nothing more he could do without feeling morally wrong about it. Maybe being excited was part of his brain attempting to convince him that this was okay, but his stomach and ill-feeling was always a reminder that this was not exciting, but instead terrifying and still not right for him. Nothing seemed right. 

His blood was taken fairly quickly with his desire to not watch what was happening to him. Needles and blood were not his favorite things to watch, look at, or be near, always making his stomach feel queasy and uneven. With the verbal promise from his OB, the samples were taken speedily and he was patched up to obscure the sight of his new wound. Making sure that Changkyun was stable, the OB then led him to the waiting room, speaking with the secretary about Changkyun's next appointment and his next ultrasound. His next appointment would be at sixteen weeks and the next ultrasound at twenty weeks. Hopefully, they'll be able to find out the then and that piece of news was overwhelming as well. Changkyun would be able to find out if he was having a boy or a girl and that was still frightening. He would be responsible for that one little girl or boy for the rest of their life. It was a whole new step in maturity that Changkyun didn't know he would be facing so soon. 

While at the front desk, Changkyun wrote a note in his phone about the details of his next appointment and at the end of it all, he was handed another file with even more information about his pregnancy, this time including a three-level copy of the ultrasounds taken. He didn't take a look at the little print like his OB had thought he would and instead moved to place the file into the backpack he had brought with him. She made no comment and instead sent her patient off on his way back to campus with a warm goodbye and the hopeful request that he return in a month to check his progress. He swiftly departed the building and it had taken until Changkyun was sitting at the bus stop for him to take a peek at the scan print out and once he laid eyes on it, it was hard to look away. 

It was fascinating, his name and birthdate in the upper left-hand corner while the image of his baby sat right in the middle. The outline was still so clear even on such a blurry picture and that nose was still so visible and prominent. He would like to say it was his nose and an odd sense of pride filled his chest at the thought of the baby mimicking his looks, "Baby," he uttered to himself, keeping quiet in case anyone nearby was to hear him, even when he was alone at the bus stop. Saying that out loud further established the fact of its existence without making him feel like total about the situation. This was his baby. 

After all the emotions he had felt within the past half hour and the emotions he was feeling now, nausea was settling into his stomach and he felt as though his small breakfast was going to come back up and betray him. He placed his file back neatly into his backpack and pulled out the plastic container of cinnamon gum that Kihyun had given him specifically for this reason. He popped two pellets into his mouth and chomped away as he waited for his bus, happy to see that it was helping his stomach by the time his bus pulled up to his stop. Part of him wanted to avoid Kihyun due to his knowledge of his pregnancy, but the older was kind and very helpful. He liked Kihyun a lot and he didn't mind him. He was very thankful that Kihyun was willing to help out and had been kind to him even before Chankyun was pregnant. It was all pleasant and it made his day just a little bit more tolerable. 

There was another half-hour until he would be arriving at the closest bus stop to campus and he was exhausted, head starting to take on that familiar twinge of a fatigue headache. He had enough time to take a power nap if he was careful and set an alarm ten minutes before his stop arrived. It would work and it would give him his day's nap since one before bedtime was out of the question. He was too busy for another nap even with how tired he was. He was constantly exhausted all the time no matter how much he slept at night. There was too much during the day that he had planned, class and work, and then adjusting more to living on his own in college. Seeing this as his opportunity, he made himself as comfortable as possible in the public bus seats and let himself drift off into a sleep that was restless but enough to make him less fatigued. He had twenty minutes ahead of him of not caring enough to stay conscious, maybe twenty-five if he was feeling brave. 

Once there, Changkyun had class in another half an hour and he was so lucky that his dorm was so close to the building where his Korean Literature class was. He'd needed that humanitarian credit in order to graduate, but it was so boring and so easy. He found himself nodding off in that class more and more throughout the last few weeks and he was starting to worry that his participation points would be knocked off his final grade. His short nap on the bus had helped him greatly and he was going to take the next few minutes to look on his phone and relax, feign rest, maybe talk to Hyungwon a bit if he was awake. Changkyun would normally be at work at this time and he had to call off again, much to his manager's annoyance. Changkyun would have to tell him soon that he was pregnant so that there would be a reasonable excuse as to why he was missing so much and why he'll have to take a break in a few months. His manager was kind and patient, and Changkyun knew it was illegal to discriminate against a pregnant employee, so maybe he was totally fine for now. As long as he could continue working and do his job properly. 

There was still so much to think about, but first, Changkyun had to enter his room and relax before his next class. And evidently, speak to Hyungwon since he was awake when Changkyun walked through their room door. 

As soon as his head peeked past the door, he caught sight of Hyungwon awake and out of bed already. He was getting dressed, pulling a pair of jeans up his legs with his back facing Changkyun in the doorway. Getting better at speaking and opening up to his roommate, Changkyun figured he could talk to him a bit before the older goes off to wherever he's about to go and before he left for his class. Although, it seemed a bit difficult after something as monumental as that ultrasound was, leaving him unable to think about anything else as the topic of conversation. He didn't want to exclusively mention that he had just been at the prenatal clinic, he figured he could talk about something else instead of solely focusing on his appointment. His life was going to be consumed by babies soon, he didn't want that to be everything he talked about just yet when his child wouldn't be here for another six months. He would talk about it if asked, but he wanted that freedom of his own still. 

"Hey, Changkyunnie!" Hyungwon greeted when he looked over his shoulder, momentary bewilderment turning to a fond smile as he addressed the younger, "Why didn't you come back to the room after work?" he inquired, albeit cautiously. He was still within the boundaries he was setting between him and Changkyun as a show of respect, as a way to communicate that he still cared and wasn't trying to force anything on the younger. He had a lot of trust to build still with the younger and had a lot to prove to him still, "Did you stay later to help out a bit more?" 

Changkyun usually came back an hour and a half before his next class to work on some homework since he was never scheduled for very long on school mornings. But today he had managed to come back an hour later and that was a bit of a warning sign for Hyungwon that left him hoping his roommate was okay. Changkyun was hoping he wouldn't notice his extended absence and that he could slide by this whole ordeal for now, but making up false excuses to share with Hyungwon wouldn't prove helpful either. Telling him the truth, although not favorable, was the best option, "Not today, I didn't," he answered, lowering himself onto his bed and sighing at feeling relief in his lower back. He hadn't even known there was discomfort to feel in the first place. He wasn't even that pregnant yet, was he? 

"I don't mean to intrude but where were you then?" Hyungwon asked cautiously as he turned to sit at his desk, peering into the small mirror that sat there. He grabbed a spoolie brush and started to work on his thick eyebrows, making sure that every strand was styled to the shape of his eye with attention. He was distracting himself from pressing Changkyun for more information by concentrating on his looks. His makeup for the day was minimal but even minimal was striking for him and his model-like features. Hyungwon was gorgeous and in that moment, Changkyun found himself distracted just by Hyungwon's looks and how puffy his already thick lips were in the morning. He could only wish to look as handsome as his roommate and held an air of confidence like he did. Then maybe this would be easier for him and he wouldn't have to guard himself so much when he was given every opportunity to open up and share, "Off on a date?" he asked jokingly and with a friendly smirk, knocking Changkyun from the cloud of deprecation he'd perched himself on. 

A sad smile crossed his lips, directed at the back of Hyungwon's blonde head of hair, "Hyung, I can't be going on dates like this," Changkyun stated matter of factly as he moved to lay on his back in hopes that it would help stretch out his body. He curled an arm behind his back under the natural curve of his spine, using the flexibility of his shoulders to his advantage in supporting his sore body, "That's hella baggage and super complicated for another person to deal with. I don't think I could go past a first date," not that he wanted to any time soon. He had a baby to think about. He didn't have time to think about another person.

"It could be fun though, could distract you for a bit," Hyungwon offered as he grabbed concealer next, applying where needed, "Just find a nice guy to take you out to dinner and a movie, maybe get him to pay and then get ice cream. You're pretty cute and you could get a few dates by the week's end, I just know it," Hyungwon encouraged, turning over his shoulder with a kind smile to face Changkyun, "Just one date is all, you don't have to talk to him afterward. Or her if you want a change in pace," Hyungwon smiled cheekily. His uality had never been a hot topic between them, but Hyungwon couldn't pinpoint anything because uality was a wide spectrum, "Or any other non-binary gender you are interested in, it doesn't matter. Everyone is welcome in this house," he joked with a delicate chuckle.

It was nice to hear something like that after living a life in the shadow of homophobic parents. His feelings and beliefs were being considered and it was amazing, for lack of a better word,"I'm good, I don't think I'll be going out with anyone soon, there's too much to think about and consider. You must understand that," he had to, Hyungwon had seen first hand how difficult this was. Changkyun was incapable of doing so much out of his comfort zone at once, "Besides, it's been a while since I've been out on a date," last time he had dated someone, it didn't end very well and had left him with mental and permanent scars, "I can't. It's too much to handle right now."

Hyungwon didn't urge him any further, Changkyun had given a definite answer and he couldn't force him to do anything different, "So where were you then? If you weren't with anyone date-worthy?" Hyungwon had finished up with his makeup and had now turned in his chair to face Changkyun, full attention on his roommate. He gave a kind smile, one he seemed to dish out often, wide eyes soft and inviting. He was non-judgemental and Changkyun could trust him entirely, even after everything that had happened between them was not in their favor. Hyungwon, hopefully, wouldn't hurt him anymore, even unintentionally. 

Changkyun moved to sit up, slowly since there was a twinge in his back still and decided that evading the inevitable was useless, even with how much he wanted to just forget all of his misfortunes. Changkyun folded his hands at his knees and avoided Hyungwon's eyes, hesitant to see his reaction but it was more for him to gain his composure and to grasp the situation for himself. It was all still processing for him too and he'd had much more time to do so than Hyungwon, "I went and saw the OB today," there was a moment of companionable silence between them as Hyungwon retained his breath, not wanting to interject and create a scene. Changkyun continued hesitantly, "I have a due date,” he paused and while Hyungwon wanted to press for more information, he denied himself that opportunity to gift Changkyun time, “and I got to see the baby.” 

Changkyun thought that he would feel his insides curl up and twist his stomach enough that he would need to go to the bathroom and throw up after mentioning the word baby to someone else, but nothing happened. Hyungwon wasn't revolted by him or the prospect of his child, wasn't rioting or voicing his distaste either. He was fine, normal, sitting there like he usually did, except with a look of shock and awe, pleasant surprise rounding out his eyes further and leaving that little, upwards tilt in his plump lips and a slight scrunch in his nose. His eyes were filled with adoration for Changkyun and it was heart-warming, reassuring. He felt like he could fall vulnerable yet again and that was also unsettling since this would be the second time within the last hour or so. Changkyun was never this comfortable with anyone besides his older brother. This was all so new, yet so simple to him.

"Did you really?" Hyungwon questioned, dumbfounded entirely. His mouth was hanging wide open with a delighted and open-mouthed smile sporting his exhilaration. The smile was out of character not because Hyungwon wasn't often happy, but because he didn't often express his happiness in such an eloquent way. His heart was on his sleeve and there was no doubt that he was purely joyed over this pregnancy, which was so bizarre to Changkyun, "Did you get print outs of the baby?" he asked next, moving the slightest bit closer in anticipation. His eyes were so round and excited as though he was a kid in a candy store and now it was Changkyun's turn to be shocked, a bewildered nod following his inquiry, "Can I see?" he asked next, hands itching to hold onto that delicate paper to study the image he could only imagine for now. He was going to be looking at his roommate's baby very soon.

Changkyun hadn't even planned to show anyone the ultrasound print he had received, leaving that for his eyes only since it was so personal. But he figured that if Hyungwon asked and with the pure emotions he was depicting, there would be no harm in doing so. All Changkyun could articulate was a short, "Okay," before he was reaching for his backpack that was sitting at the foot of his bed. Hyungwon had allotted space between them in respect for Changkyun's preference for seclusion and personal space. The younger was stepping out of his comfort zone majorly for him. 

Changkyun carefully removed the file before picking out the scan print, taking his own time to glance over the details and trace the shape of the nose again. Eventually, he handed it to Hyungwon to look at and the reaction was immediate. The confidence Hyungwon had in Changkyun was warming and it had the younger smiling in satisfaction? Endearment? Returned adoration? He couldn't quite identify the emotion he was feeling, but it was becoming and pleasant.  

"That's my baby," Changkyun mused and the statement shocked both parties in a positive way. Hyungwon was glad to see that Changkyun was accepting this baby with an open heart and Changkyun was glad to see that this baby was taking its effect on him even when life was so difficult and complex. He was going to father it in a few months and growing accustomed to the thought of their presence was for both of their benefits. 

"Wow, Kyunnie," Hyungwon cooed as he took a long, thin finger and felt along the smooth and waxy quality of the printout. Changkyun watched as the older traced the shape of the face, taking extra time to curve over the nose just as he would have done, "They're gorgeous already," he claimed and maybe that was an overstatement because it looked more blob than baby, but Changkyun wasn't going to oppose the claim, "Seriously, you're doing such a good job with this baby, don't you realize that?" he asked with a glance in the younger's direction, "They're healthy and strong and doing so well. I'm so excited to see them when they're actually here and not just a picture in my hands. It hurts how much I'm looking forward to this," his shoulders shook in excitement and Changkyun appreciated hearing some positivity on his part and how well this is all going still. It was really something Changkyun needed to hear the most right now.

And while Hyungwon is a little more excited than Changkyun initially anticipated, it also set something strong, foundational, and crucial in Changkyun's heart that he believes he will no longer doubt. Everything and all the events that have led up to now just proves further that Hyungwon truly cares about him and that Changkyun shouldn't be as guarded as he is with the older. He somehow knew that Hyungwon will and would forever keep his word and he should open up and trust in him, even with past events. He would help his mental state greatly. 

Studying his expression, Changkyun watched as Hyungwon's smile dropped and he turned to face the younger with the intent to press for an answer. Changkyun had no time to ask questions before he was asked one instead, "Did you go alone?" the older adopted a look of concern and for some odd reason, Changkyun felt guilt wash over him. He needed to deliver an answer for both of their sakes. 

"Yes, I did," it was cautious confirmation, afraid to upset his friend due to his choice to keep his privacy even when he does need that kind of support. 

Then in a surprise twist, Hyungwon's eyes melted into puppy dog eyes and he pouted in despair, "Why?" he sounded hurt as though he expected more from Changkyun. 

"Because I didn't want to bother you," Changkyun honestly answered. He had considered inviting his roommate to tag along, but the guilt of doing so and the desire to be alone outweighed the pros of having someone there for any support. He had briefly considered inviting Jooheon, but he still wasn't fond of the older. He had a right to tag along since this was also his child, but Changkyun hadn't been able to do it. It was best not to invite someone who was going to make him feel uncomfortable the entire time when comfort was a must for him. He had made the correct decision in the end, but it was a dilemma for him that he was going to battle with the entirety of his pregnancy. He had made a promise to himself on the bus back to campus that he would invite the older to his next appointment, no matter the circumstances because Jooheon had the right, even when it was still Changkyun's choice. He wanted to be more inclusive and if he turned down the offer, then that was okay too. 

Hyungwon's emotions were quite expressive as his pout morphed into something that was still so warming and alluring, an expression that was willing to assist, "If you were to ask, it wouldn't bother me at all," he was sympathetic and informative, "If you ever need me to come with you, go along to your appointments at all then you can just ask," he lowered the still raised ultrasound print and tentatively settled his hand on Changkyun's knee, a reassuring rub with his thumb over his jeans and while Changkyun would usually reel back at such contact, he turned into it and it was both shocking and enjoyable, "I am here for you, I thought I had made that clear earlier..." he trailed off, wondering if he was doing a bad job as a friend but Changkyun was quick to console his roommate's own insecurities. 

"You had, hyung, but I think it was good that I went alone. Gave me a bit of a chance to think things over and process what's really happening," he assured with a low voice, hoping he wasn't making things descend into a fight or a scuff. Speaking to others was not his forte, and that was evident, "I didn't think you'd want to deal with so much emotional baggage." 

Solace took over Hyungwon's entire being, "You're not on your own, I can promise you that, Changkyun," Hyungwon smiled and God was he gorgeous. Changkyun couldn't help but feel a little jealous that he wasn't as blessed as the man right next to him. His boyfriend was a lucky guy, he would have to tell him that the next time he saw him. If he mustered enough confidence. 

"I also don't want to put all of that on you," Changkyun pouted, guilt clouding his eyes. He reached out for the printout and Hyungwon handed it back reluctantly, wanting a few more seconds to study the image but respecting Changkyun's limit. There was a new edge to Changkyun that was familiar to Hyungwon, he was building his guard up and growing restless. He wasn't going to challenge that as his persona evolved. Changkyun took the print and lifted himself from the bed to walk towards his desk to find a spot to put the ultrasound, maybe hidden in one of his books that sat on the shelf or hidden in his drawer. He would find somewhere to hide it. While at it, he grabbed his bag on his bed and placed it in his desk chair. He had ten minutes left until he had to leave for class and he still had to grab the correct textbooks he would need for class. 

But another item of business he had on his mind was worth bringing up while on the subject and thinking about other things, "And I don't think you'll need to worry about me for much longer because when I leave things can go back to normal for you," what a bomb to drop and the expression on Hyungwon's face said it all, all the unspoken questions and all the solicitudes. He needed an explanation and so Changkyun went right into it, albeit quiet and wary, "I think it would be better if I didn't renew my contract for the next semester and instead start looking for off-campus housing. It wouldn't be a good idea to renew it if my due date is so close to the end of the next semester." 

"The semester ends May 9th, when is your due date?" Hyungwon asked, interest peaking and showcasing in full force. He was braced on the bed, unsure of what to do with his body at the time. 

"May 17th," he answered and honestly, that was such an odd thing to admit, talk