Jooheon was showing up early to class for once. He was usually ‘right on time’, arriving at most a minute before class and sometimes as the professor was arriving as well, but this time he was a good seven minutes early, and he was pretty proud of that, and he couldn’t wait to show Changkyun. Just the day before he had made a comment about how Jooheon was always ‘almost late’ and how much that stressed him out. Changkyun was always at least ten minutes early to his classes and was never late, growing up in a house that taught punctuality was a skill that everyone should have. Changkyun wasn’t sure if he necessarily agreed to the idea for absolutely everything, but it was a practice that was burned into his personality. Changkyun was never late. 

Which is why Jooheon was surprised to find that Changkyun wasn’t in the classroom yet. The seat Changkyun always sat in was empty and Jooheon knew something was up because that was not like him. He walked the rest of his way to his regular seat and sat down, his morning routine altered with Changkyun missing and not giving him a shy hello. After putting his things down and making sure his materials were out, Jooheon then made the decision to call Changkyun and see where he was. Changkyun was now a favorite in his contact list after all the calls he made to him. 

It rang a few times and Jooheon was afraid Changkyun wouldn’t answer at all but he was knocked out of his stupor when a very sleepy and groggy Changkyun answered the call at the fifth ring, “Hello?” his voice was scratchy and heavy with sleep and after all the times Changkyun had told Jooheon he was tired, Jooheon had never heard him this tired before. 

“Hey,” Jooheon greeted, a small smile on his lips at hearing Changkyun’s voice, “You’re not in class yet.”

“I’m not,” Changkyun deadpanned, sounding too tired to give a more enthusiastic response. Jooheon knew he was going to have to pry to get more information out of him. He sounded too tired to give full responses on his own without prompting. 

“Well, are you coming today?” he asked next, watching as someone turned over their shoulder to get a look at Jooheon. They turned back around once they determined it was a phone call Jooheon was speaking to. 

Changkyun sighed on the other end, heavy and loud. He figured he was going to have to try and wake himself up for this call, “I didn’t sleep well last night, like, at all. The baby was wiggling and my back hurt, and it still hurts, and I’m half dead, so I decided that I’m going to skip classes today so I can sleep in and rest,” he sounded absolutely exhausted and Jooheon hated hearing it. He had never heard Changkyun so out of it, “And it’s my birthday, so I can take a day off if I want to,” it wasn’t something he had ever considered doing before, but he was pregnant and tired, so he had a good excuse, “I just emailed our professor that I wasn’t feeling well and she told me to feel better and that she looked forward to seeing me when I return.” 

Jooheon smiled and nodded to himself, “You deserve a day off. Sleep and enjoy yourself and do as much or as little as you want,” Changkyun deserved a day off because he was doing a very difficult thing: doing full time school while six months pregnant. He actually deserved time to himself where he didn’t have to do anything and Jooheon was in full support. 

Jooheon could hear Changkyun chuckle over the phone, a little more clear now that he had cleared his throat, “Thank you. And for once I can’t feel him moving,” their son was moving quite often and even though they weren’t huge movements yet, Changkyun could feel every little twitch and it was exciting, but not at night when he was trying to sleep. He’d told Jooheon all about it, “And you’re supposed to sleep when the kids sleep, right?” he laughed and Jooheon made a mental note to remind himself of that later. He had to agree with Changkyun, “So I’ll be asleep until he’s up again. You can drop by after your classes if you want and we can hang out with Hyungwon hyung, Hoseok hyung, and Hyunwoo hyung. Kihyun hyung and Minhyuk hyung will come a little later. Apparently they got me a cake,” even after the initial dislike of sharing a class with Jooheon and the discomfort he felt in his belly when he was around him, he had grown closer to Jooheon and they were taking time out of their days to spend at least some time together. It wasn’t as bad as Changkyun had thought before and he was mentally kicking himself for being so stubborn and so avoidant. He had never needed to do that, even despite their rocky start. 

“How do you know about that?” Jooheon asked with a start, voice raised. He had been told the cake would be a secret and they were going to surprise Changkyun with it after taking him out to a dinner of his choice. Was it not a surprise anymore? 

“I saw the cake in the fridge. They didn’t exactly try to hide it,” Changkyun informed, thinking back to just last night how he had opened his shared fridge with Hyungwon and Hyunwoo. He had been searching for a light snack and had instead found a round cake with the words ‘Happy Birthday, Changkyun’ written on top with chocolate icing. He had a good laugh about it but chose not to say anything to his roommates. He then grabbed his orange from his fridge shelf and went on his way, pretending like his surprise had not just been spoiled due to lack of his friends’ thoughts, “But don’t tell them I know. I’ll still act surprised for them and not say anything.” 

“Oh I won’t, I promise,” Jooheon laughed, smiling wide and to himself. It was one of those moments where he thought Changkyun was such a delight, quite the stark difference from the beginning when he found out he was pregnant, “Happy birthday,” he wished softly, remembering he hadn’t actually said it yet, “I hope you get to have many more after this one,” and he genuinely meant that, “And I hope today is a good day for you.” 

“Thank you,” Changkyun singsonged, smiling on his end and wondering if Jooheon could hear it in his voice, “You should probably get ready for class. She’ll start soon and you can’t be on your phone at all,” their professor could get stern with students who use their phones in class. Class was not the time for phones and Changkyun agreed, no matter how tempted he was to get distracted by his blue screen. 

“I still have another few minutes!” Jooheon interjected, looking at his wrist watch, “Four minutes until class starts, and the professor isn’t even here yet,” he had plenty of time to keep chatting on the phone, even if he didn’t have much to say. 

“But I’m tired and would like to go back to sleep,” Changkyun laughed, a yawn interrupting his last few words. He let it play out before speaking more, “As much as I would love to keep talking to you, I want to sleep while our baby isn’t moving. Can I please do that?” he asked next with a huff, shifting slightly in his spot on the bed before settling again. He was so ready to go back to sleep and catch up on what he lost. 

“I guess,” Jooheon pouted even if Changkyun couldn’t see it, “I’ll come over later then and I’ll text you before I do, okay?” he would need to bring his homework with him to try and finish while at the house and he was going to try his hardest to remember and bring what was due tonight. He was most likely going to be spending all afternoon and evening in the company of his friends and it would be smart to do work while present when things were on the down low and he had time. He wasn’t going home until everyone was done and the party was over. 

“Okay. Have fun in class,” Changkyun wished, ready to fall back asleep right there. Jooheon could hear the slur in his voice as he started to doze back into rest and had to laugh to himself. 

“I will. Sleep well,” Jooheon wished before he hung up the phone, placing his device in his jeans pocket just as the professor walked in. She was quick to do a once over to see who was present before she was greeting the ones who were already there. Jooheon was sad not to have his friend sitting there with him in class but he was getting the rest he needed and that was better than having him there and possibly falling asleep in class. Jooheon would just have to survive this class and then he would move on. He would see Changkyun later. 

———-

Jooheon’s last class of the day had been cancelled. His professor emailed everyone two hours before informing the class that they had a severe migraine and it was safe to say that they wouldn’t have the ability to teach and that the students could do online work and the lesson on their own. They had apologized for the inconvenience but it was no such thing to Jooheon. It was his last class of the day and that knocked several hours off of his schedule for the day and he was free. He was excited about having one less class and he could finish some assignments earlier than planned so when it came to whatever they had planned for Changkyun’s birthday, he wouldn’t be distracted. 

And, with time on his hands, Jooheon was heading straight to Changkyun’s house after sending him a text that he was coming over. Much earlier than anticipated, but he didn’t think Changkyun would mind all that much. It was one in the afternoon and Jooheon was sure Changkyun was awake by now. Definitely not in classes, but at home most likely doing assignments, or lounging around like he always wants to do lately. Whatever he really felt like; he had the liberty to do anything. It was his birthday after all. 

Jooheon walked up the concrete steps leading to Hyungwon and Changkyun’s red brick house, looking a little dungy in the winter time with no sun or warmth brightening up the colors. It was supposed to snow within the next few days and already there were a few flurries making their way down onto Earth, sadly melting as soon as they touched the ground. Jooheon was hoping for some snow that would stick, it had been too long since he’d built a snowman. He shivered into his winter coat, glad Changkyun hadn’t gone outside today. He didn’t want him sick, especially not now when he was pregnant. 

He took a quick peek into the front windows by the door to see if anyone was sitting in the living room and luckily enough spotted Hyunwoo sitting on the couch with a book and his laptop open not he coffee table in front of him and a notebook on his thigh, one hand holding a pen as he wrote down notes. Jooheon knocked on the window and effectively caught Hyunwoo’s attention, earning a smile from the big teddy bear of a man. He hurried over and opened the door with enthusiasm, “Hey, Hyunwoo,” Jooheon greeted with a handshake, their own special one. He’d grown a lot closer with him after meeting through Changkyun and Hyungwon, and they were decent friends now. Jooheon didn’t think Hyunwoo knew all the drama that went on between Changkyun and him and he hoped he never found out. He was sure Hyunwoo could and would kill him if he knew, “I thought you’d be at the library,” Hyunwoo had taken to going to the library just about every day and would stay there for a few hours at a time. It was a surprise to find him home. 

Hyunwoo smiled, “I usually would tonight but since it’s Changkyunnie’s birthday I thought I’d stay home and celebrate. Besides, it’s too cold to be out. I’d rather stay inside where it’s warm and I have all my blankets at my disposal,” he had several lined up on the couch next to where he was previously sitting. One would say there were too many blankets lined up, too many to choose from. It was a bit overwhelming to look at. 

“Speaking of who,” Jooheon started, turning conversation back to his intentions, “Is Changkyun up in his room still?” he asked, throwing a glance around the room to see if he could spot him. He wasn’t anywhere near. Changkyun had yet to respond to his message, so he didn’t even know if Changkyun was actually home.  

To his surprise, Hyunwoo shrugged and looked very unsure, “The house has been so quiet all morning and afternoon so honestly I’m not sure if he’s still there,” he’d been too wrapped up in his studies to really pay attention who walked into or out of the house. Jooheon just happened to catch him as he was starting his new set of notes. If he had caught him any later Hyunwoo wouldn't have even noticed he was at the door and he would be stuck out there in the cold and snow threatening to fall. He always immersed himself so deeply into his studies. 

“Hm, okay… I’ll go up to his room and see if he’s there. Thank you though!” Jooheon chirped, placing his backpack on the couch close to him. That would be his designated ‘homework spot’ until he was done with his assignments. He then his heel and headed where he knew Changkyun’s room was. It was the one closest to the bathroom, something Changkyun had told him was strategic. He was going to the bathroom a lot now and Jooheon had immediately understood. He knew it would only get worse and Changkyun had been really smart with thinking ahead. His trips would be shorter and take less time and Jooheon wished he was that clever and organized. 

It was a short walk and Jooheon made it to Changkyun’s door fairly quickly, reaching a hand up to knock reverently on his door. Still no answer. Jooheon was starting to think Changkyun wasn’t home at the time, but to be sure he quietly opened the door and peeked past the door frame and found Changkyun inside, dead asleep and dead to the world. Jooheon’s suspicions had been right the first time. 

Upon entering the room, the first thing he could see was Changkyun’s bed. It was pushed against the wall opposite the the door by the window so Jooheon was able to get a full view with proper lighting of Changkyun as he laid across. Changkyun was deep in his sleep, laying on his side with both of his hands tucked under his cheek, propping his head up with the help of the pillows he had stacked at the head of his bed frame, head higher than his torso to help all the heartburn he was getting this far along. He was dressed in comfy clothes, overside hoodie and fleece sweatpants keeping him warm in the winter air. He looked so peaceful and serene and Jooheon didn't dare wake him up because he looked like he was enjoying himself. 

Jooheon was also too focused on Changkyun’s bare belly to even think about waking him up. It was uncovered, hoodie shifting most likely as he moved in his sleep, and he could see every bit of it and Jooheon had a sudden realization. He hadn’t seen Changkyun’s bump like this since the appointment he went to when he was 16 weeks, and now Changkyun was a whopping 24 weeks pregnant. Eight weeks was a huge difference he was realizing, and looking at that physical difference now had him giddy and had his throat going dry because that was his baby in there and he was getting so big. It was amazing. 

Changkyun’s skin was pale and smooth, rounded out to hold their baby safely. Peering a little closer with squinted eyes, Jooheon thought he could see a dark pink stretch mark reaching its way up to his bellybutton, but then again that could be a pressure line from the sweatpants he was wearing. His belly button was stretched and while it had not ‘popped’ yet, just as Jooheon’s sister’s had when she was pregnant with Olivia, it was on the verge of doing so and Jooheon couldn't help but think it was kind of cute. Jooheon recalled memories from the night they met and had and could recall how taut and lean Changkyun’s stomach used to be, how you could see his ribs and the way his hipbones jutted out when he breathed and moved in the right way, and looking at him now, he was soft and pretty, and Jooheon preferred it this way honestly, seeing how healthy he was. Changkyun looked so beautiful and Jooheon’s heart was fluttering, and he found it so… bizarre. 

He was back in his head and realized he had stayed and watched too long, and he knew Changkyun wouldn’t appreciate this breach in his privacy, so Jooheon slowly and quietly closed the door, making sure the knob didn’t make a sound as the gears fit back into the door jamb, turning it slowly. He tiptoed away from Changkyun’s room, staying as quiet as possible while also getting lost in his thoughts. He didn’t want to wake Changkyun and he was doing his best to do two things at once without failing, not wanting to cause a stir while Changkyun was getting some much needed and deserved rest. 

Jooheon didn’t know what came over him and knocked him out of his mind, and it wasn’t until he was back in the living room with Hyunwoo that he started piecing together his ruminating thoughts into a pattern that made sense, “Was he in there?” Hyunwoo asked, brows furrowed as he looked behind Jooheon for their friend. He set his pen down, pausing his note taking yet again to quench his curiosity. He hadn't been able to properly start them anyway, not with how distracted he was. 

“He was asleep,” Jooheon informed, taking a seat on the couch after moving his backpack, body stiff and rigid as he attempted to compartmentalize his thoughts. It was extremely difficult to do and he sunk into the couch cushions behind him to find some comfort. It didn’t do much to appease him. 

“Still?” Hyunwoo asked, throwing a glance at the watch on his wrist, “It’s so late in the afternoon. I know he didn’t sleep well last night but that bad?” luckily Changkyun did not work that day. The scheduling Gods decided to give Changkyun a break for once and it happened to be on his birthday. It was a hell of a of luck, he didn’t even have to call off, “Should we wake him up?” Hyunwoo suggested. If Changkyun slept this late then he was going to have trouble sleeping later and the same thing would happen. He himself would want to avoid that, and he knew Changkyun would too.

“No, let him sleep a little longer. It’s not that late in the day,” it was two in the afternoon, it was kind of really late but it was his birthday and he wasn’t about to cut down on his birthday sleep, “And besides, I want to talk to you about something alone,” things were starting to come together in his head and he was constructing a plan of action, something he thought would be make a difference in his life and future. 

“You do?” Hyunwoo asked, deciding he would do his notes later. He didn't think he was going to get much done now that Jooheon was here with him, “What about?” 

Life, Jooheon wanted to say. His role in Changkyun’s life, his role in their baby's life, the way he wanted to present himself and provide for his baby, and what he was going to do to make this as easy as possible for him, Changkyun, and their baby. Jooheon needed to stop fooling around and he needed to grow up and start his adult life that he had postponed for as long as possible, for far too long. His parents were the ones who were financially supporting him. He didn't have a job because there was no need when he had money saved up from working in high school. He didn’t have to pay for much which is a very privileged thing, and he knew that, he very much knew that, and not many people had that as an option for them. Changkyun had a job and he worked very hard at it, and Jooheon needed to do the same. Thinking about it now, he desperately needed to grow up and get a job. He had good credit and could put down payments on things as he so needed them: namely a place where he and Changkyun could raise their baby, maybe a car, food, and bills they would need to pay, everything that life called for that he had not yet paid for himself. It was embarrassing being a twenty year old with not much job experience, but it hadn’t been a problem before. He was going to have his own family now and he needed to fly out of the nest his parents so graciously and generously built for him. It was time. 

“I’m trying to look for a job. Do you know any place that is hiring?” Jooheon asked, opening up his laptop to search in the school directory for available jobs on campus. It wasn’t too late in the year to find something you could work with, but the longer he waited the worse options he had and he didn’t want to settle for something that was going to harm him more than help him, “Preferably somewhere that has good pay,” or a place that was willing to give him as much hours as they possibly could. He needed to start that baby fund. Babies are expensive.  

Hyunwoo didn’t take long to think because he knew the exact job that had good pay, “Well, campus security always pays really well,” he began, watching the light in Jooheon’s eyes glow at the mention of good pay, “They’re actually the best paying job on campus and there's always an open position but that’s a tough job to maintain with all its weird hours. I did it as a freshman and it was rough for me,” it stressed him out thinking about it and recalling the kinds of shifts he had. Still, he never let his grades slip, even if that meant running on an hour of sleep a night, sometimes none at all, way too often, “The shifts you get the most pay with are the graveyard shifts and those ,” he’d had a few of them himself, “If you don’t mind doing some shifts from midnight to 6 am then that’s a good job to go for. I bet you’d get hired within a few days,” they had been so desperate for employees when Hyunwoo applied that he got the job within 24 hours and had started the next day. It had blown his mind how fast it had processed and he was getting a fat paycheck the first time, within the first pay period. 

It didn’t sound ideal when it came to late hours, but surely Jooheon wasn’t going to only get graveyard shifts. He would maybe have a few during the week and that would be fine. As long as he could get his school work done and could make money he was okay with it. It was a good job with good money and he’ll take it. He wouldn’t think twice about it, “Then that means I’m going to be a campus security guard,” he announced, finding the official job listing for the said job on the school website. It was intimidating, but he had to remind himself that he was doing this for his son, and then it wasn’t as difficult anymore. He could do this, he knew he could, “I need the money for my boy,” his heart fluttered in excitement at getting a job, the first one he’ll have in two years. He felt silly for going this long but at least he was stopping it now. It was no longer going to happen and he was going to get his life together. 

“Good luck,” Hyunwoo wished him, meaning it entirely. He knew his friend would get the job so he didn’t need luck there, but he hoped Jooheon would do well with such a difficult job and that he would stick to it and not give up. He could do it, and the fact that he was doing it for his son was even better. It was very admirable, “I know you’ve got this in the bag," Jooheon hoped he did. He needed this job. 

Changkyun came down shortly after, waddling down the narrow hall rubbing his eyes with a fist as he adjusted to consciousnesses. After being asleep all day he was finally starting his day properly and had planned to grab something small to eat, but was thrown off track when he noticed Jooheon sitting in the living room. He wasn't supposed to see him for another few hours; Changkyun had a timer set on his phone for before his arrival so he could be awake in time. But despite the surprise, he was happy to see him even though much earlier than expected, "You're here?" he asked with a still raspy voice, taking a ginger seat on the couch next to Hyunwoo and making himself comfortable. He quickly fixed his hoodie that had started to ride up after bending over to sit down. There was nothing to see now but Jooheon's gaze lingered for a second on what he had caught a glimpse of earlier. Even though out of sight and hidden now, Jooheon couldn't help himself and smile at the small moment in his head. The physical proof of his son was pretty amazing and he was sure he was going to picture it for a long time to come. 

”My last class was canceled," Jooheon explained as he continued building his very slim resume compiled from two jobs he had back in high school, one of which he had for two months after he turned 16. Did security need much experience? He wasn't sure but he was hoping it wasn't too important, "Just thought I'd drop by and stay. I'll be here later anyway.”

Changkyun nodded in understanding, "Have you been here long?" he asked as he pulled his phone from the pocket of his hoodie. He had only just now seen Jooheon's text, having not thought to check before. 

"Not that long," Jooheon assured him with a smile, "I would say maybe ten minutes," he looked to Hyunwoo for confirmation and he gave an unsure nod. It was close to that guess at least. 

"You could have woken me up," Changkyun whined after putting his phone back in his hoodie pocket, "I should be awake when we have guests," especially if they were there specifically for him, “I look like a rude host.”

"It's your birthday," Jooheon reminded him with a smile, "You could have slept the whole day away if you wanted to and I would be completely fine with that. You didn't have to wake up for me; you didn't have to wake up for anyone," Changkyun was obviously exhausted and if he needed the sleep then he could sleep as much as he wanted. 

"Still," Changkyun huffed, annoyed at himself, “It’s good to greet your friends when they show up to your house,” Jooheon smiled at the word friend. It was nice to go from ‘enemies' to friends after all this time. 

“I guess I can forgive you,” Jooheon laughed, faking a weak pout. It was cute how apologetic Changkyun was over something that wasn’t a big deal. 

Changkyun nodded with a small smile, his soft dimples making way and Jooheon swore he could swoon at how pretty they were, “Thank you.”

Jooheon made sure to relay all the class assignments and information to him for that day he had skipped. He hadn’t missed much, luckily, and he chose a good day to sleep in on purpose. Changkyun had been immensely relieved and once he had all his information he moved onto casual conversation. He asked the two about their days and basked in his birthday bliss when he was talked about. He didn’t do well with attention, but if it was from his good friends then he was okay with it. He was better at handling it now, especially with Jooheon. The two had grown closer over the last month and so many of his previous qualms had disappeared, finding that he was being too harsh on Jooheon and that he needed to be his friend since they were having a baby together. Everything was good now, and he hoped nothing would change. 

Hyunwoo wanted to speak up now as conversation slowed, curiosity getting to him, “When is everyone else coming over?”

Changkyun knew the answer, “I think five. Minhyuk hyung has to finish his shift at the library, and Kihyun hyung is probably at the library studying for the test he has in two days, or distracting Minhyuk hyung on purpose. Hoseok hyung had to get his car fixed and Hyungwon hyung went with him and they’ll be done soon. A good few hours of silence in the house,” Changkyun needed silence. It was the best kind of noise: no noise at all. There would be loud voices in the house later and he couldn't promise he wouldn't get either annoyed or overstimulated. Pregnancy was throwing everything about him off and it was irritating. 

"You could probably take a nap," Jooheon suggested as he hit the submit button on his laptop. He had done it, finally applied for his first job since high school and he was hoping for the best. He felt good about it and he imagined he would be getting a call based on Hyunwoo's experience, "If you really need it.”

Changkyun chuckled and furrowed his brows, "I only just woke up. I can't take a nap," a nap was tempting, and he could always sleep more. 

"Sure you can. If you really want to," Jooheon smiled. 

Being given permission was very tempting, "No, I should do my assignments before people show up," Changkyun shifted and reached over towards the side table where his laptop sat. He always did assignments on the living room couch since that was the only place he could comfortably do it anymore, "I could do them all in time, and I won't have to worry about them later," he opened his laptop and Jooheon snuck a look at his belly again. The laptop sat firmly on Changkyun's thighs and with the proximity of the base to his body, it highlighted the curve of his swell and Jooheon really couldn't help the smile on his face. He had to look away so he wouldn't be caught staring. 

He wasn't caught staring but he was caught smiling, "What's got you so smiley over there?" Hyunwoo asked after he had glanced past his notes to get a break from all the ink and paper in front of him. Jooheon had a quite joyful smile on his face and it was perplexing. Why was he so happy? 

Jooheon's smile fell upon the question and glanced between both Hyunwoo and Changkyun. Both looked curious as they stared and Jooheon wasn't going to give the real reason. He didn't want to embarrass Changkyun like that, "I'm uh, just really happy that I turned in this assignment that has been kicking my . It's due tonight and I honestly didn't think I would get it turned in on time," it was a legitimate worry for him, but for an assignment that was due tomorrow night. It was a little white lie that would pass for now. 

"Congrats," Changkyun smiled back before returning to his laptop to continue his own assignment, "Hopefully I can do the same for this assignment due tonight," he had a few hours of course, but he didn't want to worry about it later. He'd rather do it all now. 

"Thanks, and good luck," Jooheon chirped, happy he had succeeded. He shook his head slightly and locked eyes with his screen again, looking for assignments he could do before everyone was at the house. He was content in the moment, and he spared one last glance at his friends and noted how focused they were, content themselves. It was bizarre, but it felt good to be where he was. He was happy and he couldn't help the next content smile that crossed his path. It was going to be a good day. 

And when it came to it, Changkyun’s birthday had been his favorite one so far, out of the nineteen total he’s had. He had good and actual friends there with him and so many gifts, and of course the cake that all of his hyungs had bought him (who he managed to fool into thinking he hadn’t seen the cake before). It had been a wonderful night and he couldn’t have thought up a better scenario even if he tried. It was a rare moment he was thankful he was pregnant. Otherwise, he wouldn’t be as close to these people as he is now and that would be a shame because they were so close and they meant so much to him. He was happy and it was a happy birthday indeed. 

Changkyun liked being where he was, he liked all these people, and he was really happy for such a small moment in life. And to think, his next birthday would be spent with his son. That was a little nerve-wracking, but also incredibly exciting. His baby had successfully stolen his heart and he wasn't even mad about it. It made him smile to himself, worries gone and replaced with relieving joy. It was wonderful to not feel so anxious and achey and he was happy for that reprieve. He needed it. 

———-

Jooheon was quite comfortable where he was on his bed, laying on his stomach with his feet straight up in the air behind him, making them kick to a rhythm playing in his head. He was on a video call with his parents, listening intently to what they had to say about their life back at home. From the little things like how his father's garden was doing and how his mother's painting was going, a few updates about the renovations they were making for both the house and the yard. It was all very routine but Jooheon loved hearing all of it. He typically made calls every weekend, but he had been busy recently and very distracted with Changkyun and the baby, and calling his mother and father had slipped his mind carelessly, only having time for texts here and there. He didn't feel great about the lack of contact, but it was the best he could do. 

They still didn’t know about Changkyun nor their baby and the more Changkyun progressed into his pregnancy the more Jooheon’s guilt consumed his soul. He had gone on too long without saying anything and he was sure his parents weren’t going to be very happy when he tells them. Jooheon couldn’t quite pinpoint their possible reactions, even after years of giving them both bad and good news, but he didn’t want to think about it for too long for fear that he would build expectations. He didn’t want to do that and make himself any more anxious than he already was. He was still trying to figure things out. 

For now though, Jooheon was doing his best to speak as calmly and as engaged as he could while relaying his days to his parents, censoring Changkyun out of his thoughts. It was difficult with how often he was with the younger boy, “Oh! I got a job as a security guard this week. My first day was on Wednesday,” the position listing he had applied for went through and he was hired almost immediately, within the next day just as Hyunwoo had predicted. Jooheon hadn’t believed him at first but he was proven wrong by the call he promptly received after sending in a very tiny resume, “And it’s pretty easy so far. I haven’t had any major incidents that needed my being there but I like it so far. I’ve mostly been walking around and making sure doors to classrooms are locked. Nothing too exciting,” apparently, if given the opportunity, students would have in unlocked classrooms after hours. That was a little brave in Jooheon’s opinion, considering this was a full campus with cameras everywhere, “But it’s a good job and it pays well. Way above minimum wage and that's always a good thing.” 

“Oh, that's amazing, son!” Jooheon’s father interjected with a smile that looked much like his own, “I’m proud of you for getting a job without being prompted,” his father had mentioned him getting a job on several occasions since he first started university but hadn’t forced anything. Jooheon would get a job when he felt he needed one and evidently that time was now and the pride he felt in his chest was overpowering because his son was finally taking responsibility. 

“About time too,” his mother quipped, a devilish smile on her face. Jooheon looked mostly like his father, but his nose definitely came from her, “It’s not interfering too much with school though, right?” she asked next, concern returning back to her features. If Jooheon was having a harder time in school now that he had a job she would rather he not occupy his time with work. School always came first. 

“No, actually! The office has some pretty flexible scheduling and it fits my school schedule perfectly. I do have two graveyard shifts a week though. I’ve only had one so far but it wasn't too bad,” those shifts happened to be on the days of the week he doesn't have morning classes, so once he was done he could sleep a good few hours before he had to get up for his afternoon classes. He had dealt with one late night shift already and he had dealt with the sleep schedule change very well. It honestly wasn’t a problem so far at least, “I’m still getting assignments done and I’m still doing very well if I do say so myself," he was still passing all his classes with flying colors. There was nothing to worry about, "I got an A on my psychology test," all thanks to Changkyun; he had helped him study. 

“That’s good to hear, my boy,” his mother beamed, “I’m glad to hear you’re doing so well. We’ve missed your face so much these past few weeks,” it had been too long without a call, "You better call us every week from now on. If you miss a week we'll have to make the trip down if that's what we need to do to see you," she threatened. Jooheon was her baby and not being able to talk to him kind of hurt her heart, "We worry for you."

"There's nothing to worry about," Jooheon laughed, kicking his feet faster. It was a lie of course. There was the fact that he was going to be a father and it was itching at his throat again because they didn't know and it was something they would definitely worry about. He was worrying about it immensely and his parents would surely have plenty to say about it, “Promise.”

They continued talking, typical things and mundane topics that had his mother and father rambling, but then they changed course once they found their heads. They were soon bringing up Gongju and the mention of her name always put a smile on Jooheon's face, "Your sister is thinking about trying for another baby and I think she should totally go for it," Jooheon's mother chimed, eyes holding stars at the prospect of another grandchild, "I am very very excited. She told me she was just thinking about it but knowing her, she's already made up her mind and they're probably already trying. Baby Oli is going to have a little brother or sister," she was already so little but Gongju had always talked about having her kids very close in age, but Jooheon hadn't thought she wanted her children this close in age. Olivia was only seven months old, but if Gongju thought it was time then it was time, "I'm going to have a second grandchild most likely next year. This year if we're lucky." 

"That's amazing," hearing about the possibility of another grandchild made Jooheon's heart pang with guilt. They were indeed going to have their second grandchild this year but it wasn't going to be from Gongju and her husband. Jooheon bit his lip, debating whether or not he should bring Changkyun and their son up now or wait for a better time. It was difficult to decide but on a whim, just before he started speaking again, he decided he was going to tell the truth and get it over with. He had to shift into the sitting position in order to do it, "So I have this friend," he began, feeling his jaw shake with anxiety. He was really doing this, "His name is Changkyun, he's a freshman, and he's really talented and amazing. He's an artist and he's really good at what he does and he's super smart too and gets nearly A pluses in all his classes, and, and he's pregnant right now," it didn't make sense at first bringing him up now but after mentioning he was pregnant, his parents could see how the two correlated, "But that’s not stopping him from going to work and going to all of his classes, and he plans on keeping the baby and graduating university on time. Isn’t that admirable? He's working so hard and doing everything he needs to do and I really think he's doing something really difficult and handling it so well and really I wish I could be that way but I'm not and I take baby steps and he really inspires me to do better so I'm really trying to up my game and he's been helping me study and he's the one who helped me pass my psychology test because he's really good at studying too and-.”

"Jooheon, Jooheon honey, breathe for a second," his father interrupted, picking up on the panic in his voice and the way his air was starting to run out, voice getting squeaky and thin, "Yes, your friend sounds like an amazing person," he really did, but to hear all about him in rapid succession was quite odd, "Sounds like he's really put together and very organized."

"He is," Jooheon nodded, feeling good about what his father had said. His shoulders pressed to his cheeks happily, "He's pretty inspiring and I look up to him a lot, even though I am older. He's a really great motivator."

Jooheon was hoping for more conversation focused on Changkyun now that they were here, but his mother was continuing on with a different topic, "You know Jooheon ah, I've been reading this book all about self-reliance and learning to motivate while also trusting yourself and I really think it could help you out so you can be like your friend," she reached behind her where the said book was, holding it up to the screen for Jooheon to see, "Once I'm done you can have it and read it. One of my girlfriends just finished, she's the one who recommended it to me in the first place, and she's good and old like me but it made her look differently at herself and her work ethic and I think you could really benefit from some material focused on that," it sounded like Jooheon really needed some change in pace. A self-help book sufficed to her, "It could really help with both school and your new job. Time management will be a learning experience for the next few weeks.” 

Jooheon tried not to frown outwardly. The topic had changed so quickly and it was discouraging. His parents didn't want to talk about Changkyun, even after all the good things Jooheon had said about him and the redirection was enough to make Jooheon want to drop it again and bring Changkyun and the baby up at another time. He was nearly about to switch course, but then he remembered how far along Changkyun was. He was 25 weeks now, basically six months, and he didn't have all that long left. His parents had to know before he was any farther along and any closer to the baby arriving. It's what was right. He would just need to continue easing into the idea and let his parents talk about what they pleased. He would get to it eventually. 

Conversation droned on and Jooheon had barely registered any of it until his mother brought up children. Then he was paying attention, ”There's a lovely new family at church!" Jooheon's mother chirped, a smile on her face. She was always so involved in the church community and knew just about everyone, "They've moved into the neighborhood over and last Sunday was their first attending. They seem so kind and we've invited them over for dinner next week. They have three young children, three under four. Bless their hearts, that's a lot to deal with. They look like they haven't slept in years but they handle it so well at the same time. They're good parents and I'm excited to have them over. I get to have some play time with the kids and that hasn’t happened in forever!" Jooheon's father nodded along, also looking excited to have kids around to play with. 

The mention of children again had Jooheon's heart racing. It was like his parents were waiting for him to bring up his own baby. And it was another way to mention Changkyun so he went for it, "Changkyun also goes to church! I don't know which one exactly but I know he believes in God, and he prays before every meal. If we eat together we'll pray together and it's really nice," God and church were always good ways to get on his parents' good sides. He was hoping it was working, "I don't think he goes to church currently but I was thinking about inviting him so we can worship together," it was a lie. Both were too busy now to go to church but his parents didn't need to know that. 

"Really?" his father asked, eyebrow cocked in curiosity. There was that name again. 

"Yeah. He's really fun to be with and I think he could make church really exciting. I mean, not that church isn't already exciting," he corrected, not wanting to upset his parents, "I'm just saying he would make it even better. God already makes it so amazing but having such an amazing person like Changkyun around would make it all more memorable," he was pulling words out of his and he wasn't even sure if it made sense. He was trying not to offend his parents while also trying to bring up Changkyun. It was difficult. 

“So you’re attending church services still?” his mother asked, genuinely curious. 

Jooheon swallowed thickly, “Yes, I am. I try to go every Sunday and if not at least three a month,” he regretted bringing it up now, adding onto his lies. His parents wanted him to go every Sunday but that hadn’t been the case in months. He’d gone three times with his family over Christmas break and those were the only times he'd gone in the past year. His parents seemed pleased by his answer, but they still looked very curious. Jooheon was hoping they would ask about Changkyun, but they didn’t. They had moved on already. 

They passed by that tidbit of information and continued with meaningless conversation. Jooheon was afraid he would never get to say anything about the baby until his mother brought up the possibility of a family vacation to the States to see Gongju and her family during the summer. This wasn’t so much meaningless and was actually quite exciting, but Jooheon didn’t think he would be able to make it because the baby would be here and he couldn’t leave Changkyun alone for however long they would be gone. It would’t be fair and in the end he would just have to decline anyway. The baby would be so young and Changkyun would need him around. 

Jooheon listened as his father detailed expenses and where they would try and go while in the country, and Jooheon saw an opportunity and he was taking it before he could miss his chance, “Changkyun used to live in Boston. That’s Northeast in the States and because he lived there he was able to learn English and he still speaks it really well to this day. I think it’s awesome, and I’m learning some English from him so hopefully I can speak to Olivia better,” she would grow up speaking English and it would help in the long run if Jooheon could communicate with her even a little in what would be her first language. 

“That’s helpful,” his father spoke unenthusiastically. He cleared his throat and sat up straighter and even though Jooheon was speaking to his parents through a phone screen, he still felt fear at his father’s body language. It felt like he was about to get a scolding for doing something wrong. Jooheon spoke up to take time again and to postpone what was inevitable, “He also lived in Israel as a kid and he learned english there as well. He’s done so many things and it’s so cool.” 

“Jooheon,” his father started, stopping him before he could continue, “I do think it’s nice that you’re being so kind to your friend, and I think you should continue being kind, but as much as it might make you feel good to look after him there’s going to be a baby at the end of this and that’s going to complicate things. You don’t have to feel responsible for your friend’s baby because that’s not your baby,” Jooheon felt his heart drop because that wasn't true, “You have no obligation to be with him, and you don't have to stress yourself out like that.”

“I can understand the little crush you have on him,” his mother chimed in with a soft and reassuring smile, trying to be polite about it, “And if that’s your end goal, taking care of a baby is a huge responsibility and it’ll be even harder emotionally since it isn’t yours. I think you should still be his friend but it has to stop there, it can’t go any further. It would be easier for both of you. You’re so young, you should wait on that kind of thing. Like your father said, it’s not your baby,” she really thought she was being helpful by letting Jooheon know he didn’t have to do anything, but no. If she knew the truth she would be encouraging the exact opposite. 

They thought Jooheon had a crush on Changkyun and that he was doing this to be a good person, but that wasn’t what he was trying to say at all. The guilt was building up in Jooheon’s chest and he was only confusing his parents more by beating around the bush. He sighed deeply, letting all the air out of his body before he took a calming breath to recenter himself. He was just going to have to say it, that was the best option, “Well… what if it is my baby?” Jooheon pinched his thigh as hard as he could, making him bite his lip to hold back a yell. He’d finally done it but saying it had his stomach rolling and he felt his knees go weak. He felt like he could pass out and he wished he would do that to avoid this. 

His parents’ eyes grew wide in surprise but other than that they appeared stoic. It was hard to process what they had just been told and Jooheon knew that. His mother spoke first, “You said your baby?” her voice was calm and steady but Jooheon knew she was having an internal battle with herself. 

“Yes,” Jooheon confirmed with a shaky voice. He had to bite the inside of his cheek to steady himself, “Um, it's a boy, by the way. Yeah, he’s doing great, super healthy, super cute, and he’s due in May,” he hoped giving more details would help them come along. He didn’t know if he had made it better or made it worse, “A week after finals are done, but you know, he could come before or after. He might even come during finals. It’s whatever he feels like,” he was starting to ramble again and he had to mentally tell himself to stop talking. Apparently he had a bad habit of doing that. 

There was more silence and it was suffocating. Jooheon thought to say more but his mother was asking another question, “Will you be okay during finals? Will you be prepared if baby boy decides it’s time to arrive in between your exams?” she sounded so calm and collected, but Jooheon couldn't muster any more words and just nodded in response. She continued, “Will Changkyun be okay during finals as well?” Jooheon didn’t have a definite answer but knowing the younger, yes, he would be okay. And if he wasn’t he would make it okay. He nodded again, “Okay. Are you two together?” 

Jooheon felt his soul shrink in on itself, “No,” he said under his breath, but it was loud enough for his mother and father to hear, nodding their heads to his answer slowly. It was not the answer they wanted to hear, but they couldn’t change that. 

“Well, we can’t say we're exactly proud of you in this moment,” his father shared from his side of the phone screen. Jooheon felt sick to his stomach, “But maybe we can, because you’re stepping up and becoming a father and doing what you need to do and that's good enough,” he smiled, making Jooheon smile as well, “It’s a great way to approach this issue.”

“You’re not mad though?” Jooheon asked for clarification, “That I made a big mistake? That I didn’t listen to you guys after years of telling me to have safe ?” he'd heard his whole life that if he was going to have that he should be safe about it, and obviously he had not listened well enough.

“Clearly it wasn’t deliberate, and no one is perfect, nor is protection,” his mother stepped in, “But since this is happening, just do your best as a father and love that baby, and if you really need help you always have us,” she smiled, looking genuinely content, “Because we love you and we want to guide you through life. We’re your parents, and we're not going to just abandon you.”

“You’re taking this really well,” Jooheon noted, unsure as to why. He was skeptical because who would be this happy over a baby no one thought was going to happen. 

“Trust us, we’re upset,” his father interrupted, “But you’re a legal adult who can make his own choices and take care of himself. We're not mad because we know you can do it and we know you’re mature enough,” sure. ‘Mature enough’, “You’re starting to make your own money now and you’ll start to afford things. You’re old enough and we raised you to be a good man, so even if we are upset we still have faith in you.”

Jooheon’s mother smiled and shrugged, “And I’m actually a little excited,” she claimed, “It's just... wow… another grand baby on the way. My first grandson!” she hadn’t imagined it would happen this way but she wasn’t completely upset about it, “And dear, you’ve spoken so highly about Changkyun. He seems perfect, and hopefully he’s good with children too,” Jooheon didn’t know the answer to that but he hoped it too, “You’ll have to think about an apartment and expenses figured out to afford all the baby things and you have to find a pediatrician and a good hospital and it’s a lot of work,” she reminded, still letting him know parenting consisted of a lot figuring it out, “There’s a lot you need to learn too. About life and being a father and babies. So many things.”

“I know and I’m doing my best. I don’t want to mess up being a father,” he wouldn’t even dream of it, “I’m excited to be a dad. I love that baby so much already,” he had never said that out loud before, not even to Changkyun, but he knew it to be true. He absolutely adored his son, “I can't wait until he’s here.”

“You can’t mess up being a father. Seeing you with Oli is proof enough that you’ll do extremely well as someone's dad. You have such a gift with children,” he had a natural talent with them, “You’ll be the perfect father for that baby,” hearing that made Jooheon feel one hundred times better. It even had him smiling to himself, a blush nearly on his cheeks. It wasn’t a compliment he had ever received before. It was bizarre but also very nice. His mother knew just what to say to make Jooheon happy.

“So when are we meeting Changkyun?” Jooheon’s father asked suddenly, “We’ve heard all these great things about him and now we just have to meet him in person. He’ll be part of the family soon,” his mother nodded in agreement. Now that she knew the situation, she wanted to meet Changkyun as soon as possible, “And we’ll be meeting our grandson at the same time. We'd like to get to know your friend at least a few times before our grandson arrives." 

But Jooheon wasn’t sure about that. Changkyun would surely get overwhelmed meeting his parents and Jooheon didn't want to do that to him when he already has a ton on his plate. He would need to plan it out with him as well and Jooheon had no answer for his parents yet, “I would have to talk to Changkyun about it, but I can’t promise it will be soon because I don’t know. One day,” he wasn’t entirely sure, but that was the best answer he could give them for now.