Changkyun was already regretting agreeing to have lunch with Jooheon. This was their first lunch together and it was a week after they initially agreed to start meeting up. Changkyun had felt sick all week, throwing up from morning to early afternoon and due to this he'd had to tell yet another teacher that he was pregnant to explain why he kept having to leave class for at least ten minutes at a time. He felt better now, well enough to sit down and have a full meal with someone he wasn't yet comfortable with. Jooheon had been so understanding when Changkyun invited him to sit down and talk the first time, and that was no different when Changkyun rain checked every attempt at having lunch up until now. Changkyun thought morning sickness went away once he was in the second trimester but now at fourteen weeks, he was cruelly proven wrong. 

Today, however, he was starving and no amount of food seemed enough to stop that hunger. There had been plenty of times where he had eaten and eaten more than he probably should but he couldn't help himself today. He'd eaten a big breakfast and had brought a few granola bars to snack on between classes and had even eaten one in class and was now excited to go eat lunch. He had looked up the cafeteria menu online in advance so he knew exactly what he wanted and he was looking forward to what they had lined up. There were a few options and he figured it wouldn't hurt to eat a little bit of everything since it all sounded so good to him, even if it wasn't something he would typically choose to eat. He figured that these were those infamous cravings and yet another symptom he did not enjoy dealing with. His body was slowly becoming not his anymore and it was incredibly frustrating. 

Changkyun never ate as much as he had already eaten today and he was self-conscious about it, even though he was the only one who knew how much he was eating or paying attention to what he was eating. Realistically, he knew that no one was honing in on his eating habits and no one was taking notice of his weight, but he was the one who was actually concentrating on any of that and his own opinion was the most important to him. And sadly it was the most critical and harsh, the one that lasted. 

The idea of weight gain was so awful to him, something he didn't think about with other people but when it came to his own body, the idea was horrible and it was something that he almost feared. He'd been so thin as a child that his family members would make comments on it and how amazed they were, but then he entered middle school and no one said anything about his body ever again. While that was something pleasant since no one delivered a comment about his body, the lack of it all still worried him and made him wonder if he wasn't as thin anymore and was instead bigger. It was overthinking, definitely more in-depth than he should be thinking when that young. He had a very self-shattering strictness on himself but living with that type of mindset now would be threatening to the baby and his own body as it goes through this whole process. His mind was a mess and Changkyun was unsure how to go about it all without descending into a hole of self-deprecation and maltreatment. 

But he couldn't focus on his self-pity party because he was right outside the entrance of the dining hall and he could see Jooheon propped up against a structural pillar, phone in hand and head dipped low so he could stare at the screen without making eye contact with anyone passing by. He was in his own world and unaware of anything around him and with this, Jooheon hadn't seen Changkyun yet. The younger could just turn around and leave without a trace of his being there and Jooheon would be none the wiser. Changkyun wanted to turn on his heels right there and high tail it out of the facility but he had already rain checked the older so many times before that this was the time to finally join him and get lunch. Have a heart to heart, man to man. So taking a deep sigh and giving himself a short pep talk and the promise of rewarding himself with a nap after this all goes down, Changkyun headed towards the older and fabricated a smile when Jooheon looked up and made eye contact with him. It was Changkyun who stepped closer since Jooheon was closest to the front doors and once close enough to speak, they greeted each other a bit awkwardly with more enthusiasm on Jooheon's part. Changkyun was still in a bit of a rut and was having doubts about it all still. This was overwhelming and a scary step. 

Heading into the dining hall, the first thought Jooheon had about Changkyun once the awkwardness of their greeting wore off was that he was too thin. He was all skin and bone! An unexpected worry settled in the pit of his stomach and a crease settled in his brow, sure that no one should be as thin as Changkyun is in general. That being said, Changkyun shouldn't be as thin as he is now while also pregnant. 

Jooheon didn't know much about Changkyun, anything really besides what he had learned when they had gone to the barbeque sit down with their friends, and it was unfair to assume his eating habits or what he was going through, but he wanted to make sure that from this point on that Changkyun was doing things that would be better for his health. Gaining weight could be a good start and Jooheon is going to encourage him to eat more and to his fill when they have lunch together. At the end of the day, Changkyun was growing his baby and he should properly take care of him or her. But that sounded hostile and like Changkyun wasn't already doing that. Jooheon wanted Changkyun to do it healthily and on his own accord with his own motivation. That would make for real change, a development that would stick and stay when it was Changkyun's doing and not because someone told him to do it. Someone had to make sure that Changkyun was taking care of himself. He would work on it today, but for now, he was staying low-key and out of Changkyun's way. He didn't need to get on the younger's bad side, especially after how they've spoken in the past. They hadn't had the easiest ride to friendship but hopefully, it would turn better for them. 

Jooheon had offered to pay for Changkyun's entrance fee when at the meal plan check-in and while the younger would usually turn that kind of offer down, remembering that Jooheon was the one that got him pregnant in the first place, he took it and happily so. They walked inside quietly and slow in step, but once Changkyun saw the nearly empty lines leading up to food wells and steam tables, he sped up with more excitement. There were only a few people standing and waiting and this excited Changkyun more knowing that he wouldn't have to waste time standing around. The speed Changkyun was taking up was surprising to Jooheon and he did his best to keep up and walked through the lines together. Jooheon was happy to see that Changkyun grabbed a good amount of food, ecstatic even to see that maybe he didn't have to push the younger to eat more. Jooheon grabbed his own food and once they had everything they wanted, they headed towards an open table to sit. Changkyun was excited to sit down, eat, and feed the monster that was making his stomach growl like there was a thunderstorm inside of him. 

Sadly, he was taking blows to his self-esteem again as he sat down at an empty table with Jooheon to eat and found some resistance in the jeans he had changed into after his classes. He had been wearing track pants before and wanting to look a bit more put together had put on jeans when he went to his dorm before lunch. They were skinny fit and had looked rather flattering on him pre-pregnancy, a type of jeans he had chosen not to wear in a while. Something he was regretting now with the failure to realize that they didn't fit as well as they had before. The waistband of his jeans was cutting into his lower belly due to the small bump that was already there. He had been keeping an eye on it since last week and in the back of his mind he was hoping it wasn't there and was a trick of the light, he was imagining it, something to sell the excuse that he wasn't actually showing. But he couldn't deny that he had gained some weight, something he had noted when he went to the gym last and weighed himself. This was his baby and he was finally showing. With this new change in his image, he made sure to wear oversized shirts, no longer wearing his more form-fitting ones for fear of his bump being displayed. The insecurities were aching in his heart and he hated that this was something he constantly worried about. 

He had other worries as well. He was going to go home in a month for winter break and Christmas and by then he would be showing much more than he was now. Then when the next semester starts he wouldn't be home until spring break, and by then, he would be massive. His mother would not be happy to find out he's pregnant at all, but Changkyun was not planning on her finding out during Christmas, one of his favorite holidays. But he was taking it a few steps at a time and to ensure that he wouldn't have too many issues, he was trying to not gain too much weight. The longer he avoids putting on weight the longer he can hide that he’s pregnant under baggy clothes. Staying as thin as possible for as long as possible was his plan, and by also doing that he won't have to spend money on new clothes that properly fit.

His body was something so monumentally traumatizing enough to slow his drive to eat and remember that he should pray before he digs into his meal. Even with how strict his parents are about their beliefs and his dislike for the members in his church community, he still very much believed in the teachings and how he feels about what they focus on. Praying was something he kept as a habit and was something he actually enjoyed doing, feeling like it keeps a connection between God and him. He felt at peace when he prayed and it was something he genuinely liked to do. He was looking forward to his lunch's prayer, but letting Jooheon know that he was going to pray left an eerie feeling in his throat. He was afraid of being judged by the older, but his connection with what he believed was strong and it was something he felt like he could overcome when it came to others. Sometimes it was embarrassing to do in public, but when it came to Jooheon, someone he was getting to know still, this was a chance he was willing to take. Jooheon was going to see that Changkyun had morales and beliefs and if he disrespected them in any way, Changkyun would have a real problem with that. 

"Hey," Changkyun cautiously started, successfully gaining Jooheon's attention who was ready to eat his own food. Jooheon smiled and nodded, ready to listen and giving him his full attention, "I like to pray before I eat, so I hope you don't mind," he interlocked his fingers in a hold and placed them above the table to make them more visible to the older to indicate that he was ready to start his prayer and while he expected Jooheon to make a face, he did, but it was a smile and look of surprise instead of a frown or grimace. Changkyun hadn't expected that. Jooheon's dimples were cute and they made his features that much more enjoyable and softer. It made Changkyun enjoy his company for a second and thought that maybe there really was a good person under what he had perceived before. He shouldn't go off of first-impressions so heavily, he decided.  

"I don't, not at all! I actually pray before I eat too!" he chirped, straightening up in his seat and mimicking Changkyun, hands folded in front of him and back straight, "We'll pray separately and then we can start eating, sound good?" there was a hidden passion beneath his voice and it was confusing. 

Changkyun was really astounded. After seeing how much of a partier Jooheon was and how subject he was to all of a typical immature and young adult's actions, he was surprised to find that Jooheon had a faith in a higher power, any at all and to find that he believed in God was a shock to Changkyun. Not that he should be judging anyway, he was supposed to be giving Jooheon a chance and not alienating or antagonizing him. Religion, race, and politics tend to separate people because it puts them in opposition with each other, so to find that Jooheon was so open about it and accepting was refreshing. 

Changkyun nodded to Jooheon's suggestion and silently bowed his head in his own prayer, assuming Jooheon had done the same or at least something similar. He said his prayer, thanking God for what he thought was necessary in the moment and took his time before ending his prayer with good wishes and opening his eyes. He was yet again surprised to find that Jooheon was still praying and looked deep in the process. Changkyun kept quiet and waited until Jooheon was done before digging into his own food, which luckily wasn't much longer. Changkyun was starving again. 

"Do you still go to church?" Jooheon asked cautiously. His eyes were wide and he appeared genuinely curious and it was endearing and friendly, confidently inviting Changkyun to answer with full gusto. Silencing him or keeping silent on information

"Grew up in my church when I wasn't living abroad, we went to church a few times in the states," Changkyun informed between bites of pasta, "Went in high school when my family moved back to Korea, but haven't really gone this semester. I haven't found a good church to go to that's close, and going alone is less than ideal," if he did that, he would be bombarded by people asking who he was and where he was from, all types of questions in an attempt to get to know him. His social anxiety didn't warrant that kind of interaction to go smoothly, "But, if I could go to church and if this was a perfect world, then I would be going several times a week if I could," but he was busy and he was starting to work more for more money. He needed to save for the baby, “Unfortunately, some might judge me for being pregnant and going alone,” that was something that was highly frowned upon in general, imagine going to church as the new person. Judgment was a hard thing to cease and it was always triumphant due to opinion and habit, even though taught to not do so. 

“I’ve gone a few times and the whole congregation is made up of actual kind and caring people,” his smile was confident and his dimples were further indicators that he was certain of the words he had spoken, but there was another truth still, "They might welcome you and see past that, and you wouldn’t be alone if you went with me now would you?” he felt guilty when hearing Changkyun say how being pregnant meant instant antagonization on his part. Being young, pregnant, and single was hard and it came with plenty of judgment and doubts on Changkyun's part, his ability to do things efficiently and for some reason, his ability to parent. Jooheon didn't know Changkyun all that well and he still didn't know if Changkyun had the ability to parent either, and the guilt was settling in the pit of his stomach with a fierce power that was inhibiting his ability to eat. He was exhibiting the kind of characteristics Changkyun just verbally expressed he was afraid of. 

“While that might be, you haven’t seen them interact with a teen parent that’s unwed have you?” he asked with crooked lips, forcing himself to focus on anything but Jooheon’s face, "I'm just afraid of being judged, which is something that gives me a lot of anxiety," Changkyun revealed, feeling his leg start to bounce from the impending mental health issue. This conversation gives him anxiety as well and the discomfort of it all was getting to him, “Anyone could think anything of me and that’s pretty unsettling. Doesn’t make me feel good, especially in a place I want to find safe. A place I could totally rely on.” 

Jooheon nodded in understanding, ”If you feel uncomfortable going then don't go, but if you really feel strongly about the church, then I believe you. Faith is strong and if you really pray every time before you eat, then there's really a connection there for you," Jooheon smiled, completely supportive, something Changkyun hadn't really expected but appreciated nonetheless, "I think it's awesome that you take this to heart. It's a shame that others judge so easily and now that I know you, I can say that you're pretty cool and I'm sorry that I was quick to assume things about you, too." 

Changkyun nodded along to what Jooheon was saying and felt guilt as well since he was so quick to judge as well. Jooheon was apologizing on his own behalf and didn't even mention how rude Changkyun had been at first to him, how quick to judge he had been. He was thankful that Jooheon wasn't bringing his ignorance up and was instead acting as though nothing was out of the ordinary. Jooheon was a pretty nice guy and Changkyun was finding it easier to get along with him and get to know him. Maybe he was having a baby with a pretty cool person and maybe he was the best person to have a baby with. Being his friend wasn't a bad thing he was realizing, a bit too late, and he was glad he had given Jooheon this second chance, "I'm sorry, too. That was pretty rude of me to say what I have to you and I'm regretting it now," and Jooheon kept quiet, a smile on his lips and Changkyun could swear his lips were in the shape of a heart. The older nodded and took a bite of his food, satisfaction evident on his features. They continued speaking and eating, enjoying each other's company. 

The more the two spoke, the more Changkyun couldn't help but mainly focus on how delicious his food tasted and how relieved his stomach felt. Changkyun hates it but he loves food now since he’s hungry all the time and that was a huge improvement on his eating in general. He used to despise eating and was afraid of the repercussions it had on his body, but now, food was a pleasure and was something he looked forward to during his day. That was progress right there and it was something to be proud of, but it was still difficult to officially come to terms with and indulge himself. He was working and improving on it, but that kind of thing took time and it wasn't something he could rush at all. Healing took time and some things were harder to recover from than others. 

As the time went on and the minutes passed, the more Changkyun ate his meal, he had another obstacle to face. His already tight jeans were even tighter with the amount of food he had eaten and they were nearly unbearable as they cut into his steadily thickening waist. The only solution he could think of on the spot was to them before too long so he could be relieved of the discomfort he was feeling. But he was sitting here at lunch with his baby daddy who was keeping his eye on him and if he were to notice at all that Changkyun's jeans were open, Changkyun couldn't even think of how he would handle that kind of embarrassment. 

But he was so uncomfortable and he needed relief. He was thankfully wearing a hoodie and it shielded his midsection from view. Jooheon was deep in a conversation about his niece, little Olivia, and how he had called his sister and her the day before. He loved his niece and it was plainly obvious, and he was so passionate about her that his attention to detail when it came to Changkyun was a little askew. He could so easily do it and with a lingering hand on his waistband, Changkyun waited until the right second before he ed his jeans when Jooheon had looked away to grab his backpack that was sitting on the floor. The immediate relief was amazing and Changkyun let out an unintentional and deep sigh, catching Jooheon's attention from his focus on his bag, "You okay?” 

"Oh, yeah, I'm fine. Just cramps," he easily lied, but it wasn't really a lie since it applied to that time. It just hadn’t been his initial thought. Changkyun had been cramping a lot around his hips and groin and due to his research, he found that it was called 'round ligament pain'. Yet another sign that he was pregnant and it was incredibly annoying, especially when he was trying to sleep a night. Sleeping on his side made it worse and so sleeping on his back had become the new thing, even when it weirdly made it harder for him to breathe a bit. Cramps had just started picking at his muscles but it wasn't unbearable and he could deal. It wouldn't be resolved until he was up and moving around again. 

“Is it the baby?” Jooheon asked, perking up after hearing that Changkyun was in discomfort. Hearing about the baby got his heart racing and he was excited. Changkyun never thought he would be this excited about a baby, except for maybe Olivia. Olivia held his heart in her tiny palm and it was endearing that he was so caring for someone so small and young. It reaffirmed his faith in Jooheon and it gave him yet more hope for what was going to transpire in the future. Changkyun hoped he would stick around and help him with raising this kid. 

“It is,” he answered, a little more reluctant this time, finding it difficult to openly speak about. He chuckled though and added, “It’s funny, I thought growing pains stopped when you were an adult. Guess I was wrong,” there were many more pains to come and he had plenty more growing to do before he was done. He didn’t need to spiral right now in this moment, not when Jooheon was there with him, “But it’s only a few more months of it. I can handle that,” he was sure he could and downplaying the issue was the best hand he had on deck, not wanting to be pitied or receive unnecessary sympathy. He was no charity case. 

"My sister was always complaining to me about cramps. She had them in her back as well. Olivia was a hard pregnancy," Jooheon noted but Changkyun didn’t miss the way his eyes were glued to his midsection, almost praying that Jooheon couldn’t see that his pants were unfastened. It was an odd and unsettling sensation of having someone just stare at his stomach and it was like all of his worst fears were coming true. Jooheon could be thinking anything right now and not knowing what his thoughts were was making Changkyun anxious. Anxious and insecure enough to shift in his spot, arms crossing over his middle as he leaned forward to further obscure his body, playing it off as though he was just leaning forward to rest his chin on the table. The movement caused Jooheon to look away and turn back to his food. Jooheon looked like he was caught with his hand in the cookie jar like he knew he did something wrong, but that didn't make Changkyun feel any better. He had still been staring and Changkyun didn’t like his body being scrutinized or observed at all. It made his stomach churn, “She was huge though, from the very beginning. Had a big bump and everyone thought she was farther along than she actually was. You’re tiny though, can barely tell you’re even pregnant,” Jooheon was trying to save himself but telling from Changkyun’s expression, which stayed pretty consistent throughout the entire lunch, the younger was not having it, “But she said it was all worth it in the end. Olivia is her pride and joy and she’s told me she would do it again just for her.” 

No more comment was made on it and while Changkyun enjoyed hearing about Olivia, he felt like he shouldn’t eat anymore. He still had food on his tray and it felt as though it was staring at him, mocking him. He wanted to eat, but his body was already suffering, he should stop. But with another look from Jooheon, Changkyun ignored those thoughts and took a bite, willing his insecurities away. He couldn’t be thinking that way when he had a baby that was solely dependent on him. 

It was uncomfortably quiet for a minute that felt like hours before it finally ended with Jooheon further asking questions, “What are your plans after this semester? Are you going to stay in school?” it was a valid and loaded way question, considering Changkyun was going to be hugely pregnant near the end and that was going to be a nightmare to deal with. It showed Jooheon's care for him again but Changkyun was still a little adamant. He needed to answer, it would be the polite thing to do. 

“I’m staying for the next semester. I would go crazy if I stayed home with my parents,” he didn’t mention that his parents would be enraged as all get out, but Changkyun was sure he would never bring that up if he didn’t need to. He would rather his personal life be kept hidden, especially from Jooheon. Securing that information with the older felt wrong when he still didn't know him very well. This was all so frustrating and Changkyun knew his habits were so, but he had to be cautious, “I’m for sure graduating college, and I want to do it as fast as possible so I can get a job as soon as possible. The faster the better, especially now that there’s a baby to think about,” that had been his original plan anyway, but add the baby and he had to do so much more. 

Jooheon seemed pleased to hear this and smiled a little wider than seemed necessary, “That’s awesome! Will you be okay the whole semester? You’re due close to June right?” he asked and Changkyun felt a sudden realization. He couldn’t believe he had forgotten to mention the due date to the father of his child. Jooheon had just made a guess that was close to the actual date, a few weeks off, meaning he had thought about this in-depth before. It made Changkyun feel guilty for being slow on the process, a perfect example of him being a bit too guarded. He knew that it was difficult to talk to him, but he had every reason to be with those he had acquainted himself with in the past. 

“May 17th actually,” Changkyun corrected, shifting in his seat while keeping his hoodie pulled as close to his lap as possible, further obscuring his small bump and his ed jeans, “Sorry I hadn’t told you earlier. Kind of slipped my mind and I'm pretty quiet, otherwise, you would have been told as soon as I found out," it hadn't even been something he considered. Telling Jooheon anything about himself had not crossed his mind. 

“Don’t worry about it. I’m glad I know now,”Jooheon smiled, looking excited now with a little wiggle of his body as he took a forkful of the last bits of food on his tray. He hadn’t bought much to eat and he was now finished much sooner than Changkyun, “My mother was born in May. She’ll be happy to hear that she’ll be getting a grand baby for her birthday.”

Changkyun subconsciously gulped at the word 'mother' and the fact that Jooheon would be telling her so casually. If it were Changkyun, he would need to pray for an easy death before telling his parents, “You're going to tell her?” he asked, anxiety settling in the pit of his stomach, making it flip. His lunch was once again disagreeing with him and he wanted nothing more than to leave and lay in bed. This was so much harder than he thought. 

Jooheon’s once happy expression dropped into a blank expression as though just realizing what he had said, “Oh, not yet. I don’t really know how to tell her, but I’ll have to at some point,” which was an issue they both had, "She might not be the happiest at first, certainly not jumping off the walls in joy. But she'll come around pretty fast. I have a pretty great mother," the smile that graced his features was warm and inviting, showcasing the love he had for his mother, "And if she met you, I think it would be alright.”

Meeting Jooheon's mother? “That’s a pretty scary thought,” Changkyun stated honestly, “You don’t know how she’ll react to you telling her that you’re having a baby so young. She could be irate for all you know,” that was what Changkyun was afraid of and he knew it was his fate.

“She was so happy when my sister told her she was pregnant.” 

“How old was she? Was she with anyone?” Changkyun asked, diving into the details so he could speak his mind. 

Jooheon looked down, avoiding eye contact for a second before answering, “Twenty-four and she was with her boyfriend, still is.”

“How long have they been together?” Changkyun asked, seeing the development from a mile away. 

“Like, three years,” Jooheon sheepishly spoke, digging his grave deeper by adding, “She married him shortly after she told us she was pregnant, she was like five months or something,” it had been a civil wedding, nothing special. She didn’t need special though, she just needed her husband. 

“So she was, and still is in a relationship with her baby’s father, who soon became her husband, and was at a reasonable age?” Changkyun clarified with an eyebrow quirked. He would appear smug but this had to do with him and not someone else. 

Jooheon shrugged and looked tranquil and at peace, almost unbothered as he threw his arms behind his head, recalling what they were really talking about, “My mom’s not bad. She’s the nicest person I know,” he claimed easily and it was almost like Changkyun had to believe that.

But he had to stay realistic, “You have to say that. She’s your mom,” although Changkyun couldn’t say the same about his mother, “She has to draw the line somewhere and this might be it.”

“It’s not like I’m doing hard drugs or committing crime. I’m just having a baby,” just having a baby, “This is something that is easily forgivable and she’ll be excited. She was so excited when Gongju told us she was pregnant with Olivia,” there it was again, mentioning Olivia. That little girl was his world, and now he had mentioned his sister’s name too. Gongju and Jooheon. It sounded like a good pair of names, “A perfect example of how forgiving she is: I stole her jewelry once in elementary school so I could try and sell it to buy a new bike. But I felt so guilty I gave it back and she was so quick to forgive me, but not without grounding me as well.”

“Did you really?!” Changkyun asked in shock, forgetting the previous issue. When he received a nod from Jooheon he tsked and shook his head, small smile lifting the left corner of his mouth, "Good for her, you deserved to be punished after something like that,” Changkyun joked, rather enjoying the story he had just been told. Jooheon laughed and nodded in agreement. 

“She’s a saint. She won’t be mad at all.” 

“Then I wish the best of luck to you,” Changkyun offered a small smile in hopes that it would sell more. He needed to be kinder to Jooheon overall, “It’s going to be hard and I’m just hoping to survive telling my parents,” his eyes lowered to his bump, still hidden and out of sight, but he knew what was there. He stared at it every chance he could get when he was alone in the bathroom in front of the mirror, or even his room if Hyungwon wasn’t there, judging and hating it. The soft curve was ugly and made him feel disgusting, but there was also something beautiful about it at the same time. His body was doing something really cool, he couldn’t deny that, “Things will get harder, that’s for sure.” 

Jooheon noticed the almost distant look in his eyes and nodded, agreeing with Changkyun even though he had no inkling of what Changkyun was thinking. They both had different sides of the story, and Jooheon hadn’t even received one-tenth of Changkyun’s, "They will, but I think we can do it as a team," he spoke cheerily. Changkyun mentally cringed at the term ‘we’ and ‘team’. Jooheon continued in a direction Changkyun didn’t think he would be taking, “I heard you’re moving off campus next semester,” it was nonchalant and Changkyun was a little caught off guard because the only other person who knew and would tell others was none other than his roommate. 

“Did Hyungwon tell you?” 

“Maybe” Jooheon shrugged, leaning back to sit with his back propped on the seat he was at. He crossed his arms over his chest, explaining himself further, “I mean you didn't have to tell me about that, but I’m wondering what the plan is when the baby is here.” 

Changkyun hadn’t thought about it either, head now starting to ache as another stressor made its way into his head, “What do you mean?” 

Jooheon hummed and scooted closer to Changkyun, leaving him mildly uncomfortable, “What I mean is: what are the living arrangements going to be like when the baby is born? Cause if we go your way then you’ve got the kid all to yourself and when it comes to night time, it’ll be a little harder to deal with.” 

Good point, Changkyun hadn’t thought of that. Originally his thought was that he was doing everything on his own, even though Jooheon was proving him wrong in almost everything he did. Jooheon wanted to help but Changkyun was putting up a wall he should be knocking down, “Then what’s your way?” 

Jooheon sighed, “I was thinking I move into your house next semester,” just the thought of that gave Changkyun major anxiety alone, “That way, we can get the house ready if needed for the baby when they arrive, work on living together in general, and when the baby is born, it would be easier if there were two of us getting up and down at night when the baby wakes up. We could take shifts with feedings and getting them when they’re upset or need a diaper change. You alone being sleep deprived won’t help them out,” he had so many thought out responses and points that it was tempting, but this was Changkyun, and Jooheon already knew the answer. 

“I don’t think you should, no,” he would have preferred to give a firm negative but it was also too good to pass up on. Changkyun kept speaking, “I still don’t know you that well and it’s hard getting to know me, I just don’t see you as someone I want to live with and see most of my day,” even though he wasn’t, Changkyun adds a weak, “Sorry,” at the end. 

Jooheon quirked an eyebrow and asked a low but respectful, “Is that all?” 

Changkyun had the answer on the tip of his tongue but he had to come off as cordial and not freak out on Jooheon, “If you lived with me, I think I would be constantly stressed, and that is something I don’t need more of during this pregnancy,” he had read so much about how bad stress was for pregnancy and Changkyun had felt guilty for all that he had forced on the kid already, “It just wouldn’t be good for me and by extension, it wouldn't be good for you.” 

“But I want to be involved,” Jooheon emphasizes, hand on his chest but Changkyun could tell Jooheon wanted to make a bigger gesture out of frustration, “I want to be there for my son or daughter when they need someone. And by living together, I can get to know you even better and we’ll be less of strangers when the baby is born. We’ll be genuine friends and it will be easy.” 

In all honesty, Changkyun hates that idea. Jooheon was coming off in a weird way to him currently and the energy he was omitting was a little hostile, wanting things his way so easily. Changkyun supposed he should be more understanding, but, “I need more time,” was his answer, “And moving into the same house won’t help. It might make things worse, have you considered that?” Changkyun really didn’t think Jooheon had, instead worrying more for the baby when Changkyun was still there and a person who needed time to process, “You can always visit, that should be enough. I hope that’s enough because that's what I'm giving you.” 

Jooheon looked like he wanted to argue and Changkyun thought he was going to take it there, but instead, he rubbed his forehead and nodded, “Fine, I can do that. I can’t rush things, I guess. But I want you to think about that, me living with you. I want to be a father to this baby and I want you to let me do that," it was a reasonable request, but Changkyun was stubborn. Yet, he knew he had to be better with this. 

"Okay, I'll think about it. I will," Changkyun nodded, glancing at his phone that was sitting on the table. He had just gotten a notification from a game he always played and by looking, he realized the time and he had a class to get to in ten minutes. This was a good stopping point and it wasn't like he could stay much longer or he would be late and this next teacher hated it when students were late. So he spoke up, already gathering his bag and tray, "I have class in ten minutes and I really need to go," Jooheon looked at his own phone and his eyes widened because he had to go too. 

"Oh, I do too," he looked downtrodden, disappointed in the lack of affability between the two of them, but Changkyun didn't mind it, " I guess we should get going."

Changkyun was quick to get up without hesitation, discreetly buttoning his jeans again before Jooheon could notice and was already walking away, not taking the time to wait and let him catch up. He could hear the older scurry after him and he spared him a glance when he was next to him. Acknowledging that Jooheon was there was enough and he didn't need to say anything when they had shared what th