distraction
HARBOREDthe conversation over dinner went light. nothing extraordinary.
you found out that joohyun's employer granted her one-month vacation leave. she and amber will be staying in the city for a week, so the latter can catch up with some relatives and friends. after that, they will travel back to your hometown to meet joohyun's parents. joohyun will be staying until she hears back from the company, while amber will be flying back to la a few days later.
you parted ways after dinner. cheek kissing joohyun goodbye felt slightly awkward. something has changed. you think it may have something to you with your coming out.
she conversed with you and amber over dinner. but you know her all too well to tell something's going on in her mind. but there's no point trying to get that out of her. as much as she's claiming she's not hiding things from you, you are sure she has a set of secrets she's keeping to herself.
and now you're all alone again, walking on the street, remembering the image of amber's arm around joohyun's waist as they said their goodbyes to you.
the pain that wasn't there earlier is now back in full measure. you're supposed to take a cab to your apartment, but you stalled the idea, knowing you'll cry once you hit the bed.
you won't let that happen. not tonight.
you need a distraction.
you checked your phone, rereading the message from sunmi asking, "are you coming over tonight?"
you replied, "yes. be there in ten minutes."
her apartment is two blocks away from where you had your dinner with joohyun and amber. this is an easier route than sulking all alone in your apartment.
maybe you'll save your tears for tomorrow. but for tonight, you want to forget joohyun.
even just for tonight, you want freedom from her thoughts.
sunmi pulled you in for a wet kiss after she opened the door for you. you kissed her back, hands cupping her cheeks. you tried to erase joohyun's image on your mind because you know somewhere in the city, she could be doing the same thing with amber at this very moment.
you closed your eyes tightly, kissing sunmi more, wanting to block the image in your head.
erase. erase. erase.
sunmi pulled away to breathe. "wow... seulgi... you're intense tonight, huh?"
"i..." you breathed in. "i missed you."
"oh, you big bear." sunmi pulled your head closer for a soft kiss. "you don't need to play all mushy on me. i know you met up with this unnie of yours, right?"
"which unnie? you are also my unnie, you know..."
"okay. let me rephrase. you met up with this favorite unnie of yours, right?"
you stared at sunmi, nodding.
"and how was it?"
"it was fine. she's with her girlfriend."
sunmi held your hand, pulling you to the living room. "ahh. is the girlfriend pretty?"
"handsome, actually. like an idol."
sunmi laughed. "and you're jealous, huh?"
you sighed. "how i wish i'm not, unnie. but i am. i really am."
"hey." sunmi lifted your chin so you can look at her. "how many times do i have to tell you to stop calling me unnie when we're alone?"
"i'm sorry. i'm so down right now. i think i'm going crazy knowing they could be--" you paused, looking around. "i'm a mess."
"i understand. don't worry." sunmi placed her hand over your shoulders, removing your jacket. "just focus on me. i'll make you forget her tonight."
you closed your eyes when sunmi kissed you again. you kissed her back gently. you held her by her waist as you slowly walk to her bedroom.
since you started this relationship with sunmi, you were very open about your feelings for joohyun. that's how you two became friends. sunmi is one of your seniors at work who happens to be just as lovesick as you are. one night, after a successful performance, you two went out for a drink, told each other your frustrations, and end up getting laid in your apartment.
from then on, it went like that. you prefer it that way because you don't want a relationship with someone who sees joohyun as a competition.
joohyun.
her face is flashing on your mind again. her smile. the way she looked earlier. her voice is ringing in your ears.
"focus on me, seulgi," said sunmi between your kisses, knowing you're drifting away. she's now removing your dress shirt. "focus on me..."
you laid her down on the bed, kissing her neck this time.
focus on her. focus on her.
you keep repeating that in your mind.
it seems to work though. because for what it's worth, you didn't shed a tear that night.
---
you woke up to the sound of your phone ringing.
that's when you realized you are not in your apartment as your phone is ringing inside the pocket of your coat hanging on the rack.
you got up groggily and noticed sunmi isn't around. you walked around the room, spotting a warm mug on the table with a note that says, "morning! i'm off to work. enjoy your off today :)"
you groaned. you could have slept longer. whoever is calling you will get a piece of you for disturbing your sleep.
you reached for your coat and grabbed your phone. you stared at the screen that's flashing 'baechu' as the caller.
your eyebrows furrowed. why is she calling you this early?
ahh. yeah. she knows it's your off today. you put the phone next to your ear.
"unnie--"
"seulgi! where are you!"
you had to pull the phone away from your ear for a second as joohyun was shouting. "at home. why?"
"at home? i've been ringing your buzzer for thirty minutes now, and you haven't answered me yet! where are you exactly, right now?"
crap.
you massaged your temples. "sorry. i stayed over at a friend's place last night."
there was silence on joohyun's side before she managed to say, "are you... are you still in bed...?"
"ahh, no," you said right away, not wanting her to have an idea of what happened last night. "i'm alone now because they have already left for work."
"okay," there is a pause, "you're free for today, right?"
"yes. are you alone there? where's your girlfriend?"
"amber's going out to do some extreme activities with her hyper friends. you know me, i don't like heights or anything that produces an adrenaline rush. i told her i'll go out with you instead."
"okay." you glanced around the room, looking for your clothes. "i'm heading back there now. just hang in there, okay?"
"can you give me the passcode to your door? people are looking at me."
you hesitated. you closed your eyes, trying to remember if there's any weird stuff in your room.
"seulgi?"
"ahh. yes. sure. are you in front of the panel now?"
"yes. just give me the damn passcode, please."
"it's... 032991..."
you heard joohyun smile. "really? you're using my birthday as your door passcode?"
you blushed. "well, it's something i will never forget..."
"well, what can i say? i'm flattered."
"don't be. it's just that the system doesn't allow me to use my birthday as the passcode, so i opted for yours. i've no choice."
"yah! why don't you just admit i am special to you?"
you laughed, already imagining joohyun's angry face. "well, you are always special to me. you should know that by now."
"i know. i know. and you're still my ddeulgi, okay?"
"yup. i sure am." you smiled. "i'll see you in a bit, unnie."
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