superhuman
HARBOREDfate seems to love toying a lot with your feelings.
earlier, joohyun made you the happiest person in the world by spending the entire day with you.
you watched a movie together, strolled out, and had dinner. you walked her back to her hotel room around 08:00 pm, where she asked you to stay for a hot choco.
it was almost perfect.
but just as when everything starts to feel right, when you've almost forgotten you aren't together, amber came back to slap the truth in your face.
to you and joohyun's surprise, amber went back with bruises and tiny wounds on her elbows and knees. although amber was chill about it, joohyun is displeased.
and so are you.
but what can you expect? joohyun's always been like that. one second she's going to make you feel like you're on a pedestal, and then the next second yanking you away from it.
you're starting to ask yourself again if she's still worth the pain. unfortunately, you still don't know the answer.
"no more rock climbing for you, okay?" joohyun's currently dabbing amber's wounds gently with cotton wool and antiseptic.
amber groaned. "but, joohyun..."
"no more buts, am."
amber groaned again. then she saw you. "hey, seulgi! help me!"
it's hard not to smile seeing amber act like a child. maybe this is why they clicked: joohyun is the serious type while amber is always playful.
you stood from the couch, holding the finally empty mug you've been trying to finish since amber came.
"that doesn't look like a bad wound," you said, walking closer to them. "besides, getting injured is a part of rock climbing. you can't do it perfectly without getting light scratches at first."
"see? see?" amber looked at joohyun.
"oh, no. not you too, seulgi." joohyun shook her head. "you guys met last night, and you're acting like you're best friends now?"
you and amber shrugged and fist-bumped.
joohyun rolled her eyes. "aish. from now on, you two are no longer allowed to talk to each other." she turned to amber. "and you, no more rock climbings. capiche?"
amber opened in shock. "but mommy!"
"don't mommy me, amber. i'm not your mom."
amber turned to you. "daddy!"
you choked on your cough.
what the hell?
did amber just ship you with her girlfriend?
you glanced at joohyun seeing how her cheeks are tainted with pink as she closes the kit.
you turned away, aiming for the sink. "not my problem. i'm outta here."
you hear the couple banter as you wash your used cup. you are still elated after amber regarded you and joohyun as her parents.
"did my girlfriend enjoy her date with her best friend today?" you heard amber ask.
"yup, i did," said joohyun.
"hmm. is that the reason you look extra pretty today? you seemed to have really enjoyed hanging out with seulgi, huh?"
"i always enjoy seulgi's company even if we're indoors," said joohyun, making you smile.
there's this sense of pride building in your chest. however, the next words she uttered drained all the energy from your body.
"but i missed you, am..."
you felt your chest tightening. suddenly, it's hard to breathe.
and here you are, thinking you were enough for her. but no matter how happy she was with you earlier, amber is still going to complete her day. not you.
so much for making you feel important.
"awe. i missed you too. come here you..." there were movements on the couch, followed by the smacking sound of a kiss.
you closed your eyes.
breath in. breath out.
you composed yourself as you dry your hands with the towel.
and when you turned to face them, you felt the stab in your chest digging deeper. you watched as amber playfully kisses her girlfriend, joohyun giggling in response.
you shook your head.
why are you still here again?
this is enough. you can't take it anymore. you need to get out. now.
you cleared your throat. "guys, i should get going."
joohyun looked up. "but it's only nine-thirty."
there was a tinge of happiness building in your chest seeing joohyun's disappointed face. but you know you can no longer stay. it's for your sanity.
"i still have work tomorrow, unnie."
"let me at least walk you downstairs to get a cab."
"i'm fine," you said right away, not wanting her to insist. "it's better you stay to take care of your daughter here." you glanced at amber.
amber grinned at you and pulled joohyun closer to her. you saw how joohyun's arms found their way around amber's waist.
it looks very familiar because that's how she usually hugs you.
"i... uh... i really should go now. thank you for the hot choco." you motioned to the door, wanting to escape the soonest.
the pain is unbearable now.
"seulgi," amber called. "thank you for taking care of my princess today."
you spared joohyun a glance. she's smiling at you, but at the same time, she looks disappointed. you looked back at amber.
"anytime."
---
you can always go to sunmi's place to ease your mind, but you're not doing that tonight.
there's this feeling, a heavy feeling in your chest you want to get rid of--a feeling you've carried since last night.
it feels heavier the longer you ignore it. so, no flings or for tonight. none of that.
it's going to be you and your pillows. you're going to let the rain fall because that is what you badly need.
and that's what exactly you did right after you enter your apartment. you went straight to your room and plonk yourself down, dampening your pillow with your tears.
at least you finally got that out of you.
---
"i think she loves you, but she isn't in love with you. those are two different things."
you looked at sooyoung after downing a glass of rum, mentally agreeing to what she said.
"but how can she be that close to seulgi and not fall in love with this bear?" asked yerim, touching your shoulder. "plus she's got a girlfriend now. it only means she can be attracted to seulgi too."
"i got your point, yerim. but that's not the situation. yes, she and seulgi can be together. but they aren't. and she's in a relationship with another person, not with seulgi. it tells us a lot."
yerim rubbed your back. "sometimes i wish you were in love with sunmi unnie instead. i hate seeing you so down like this."
you laughed. "i'm fine. can't say i haven't been used to this."
sooyoung's eyes zoomed into the entrance of the bar. "speaking of sunmi unnie. she's here."
you and yerim turned to look, and indeed, sunmi is walking towards your table.
you genuinely understand why yerim wants you to fall in love with sunmi. she's pretty, attractive, and is a genuinely kind person.
but she's not joohyun. and it's only joohyun you want.
"i've been calling you." sunmi sat beside you.
"she turned her phone off, unnie," said yerim. "she doesn't want joohyun to contact her."
"oh. and why is that?"
"the love of her life seems happy with her current relationship, and seulgi here is feeling heartsick," said sooyoung. "good thing she was able to focus on the practice this morning. i must say i am impressed."
"well, that's our seulgi." sunmi grabbed your glass and drank from it.
"how did you find us here?" you asked sunmi. the third glass of rum is already taking its effect on you. "are you superhuman?"
sunmi grimaced after the rum passed . she put the glass down. "well, yerim here was wise enough to tag you in her instagram post, name and location of the bar included. so, yeah. i'm superhuman."
you glared at yerim. "what did i tell you about social media?"
yerim grinned at you, showing a peace sign. "i had to document this, you know."
you groaned, grabbing the other glass of rum and downing it.
"why is this bear drinking?" sunmi looked at yerim.
"she said she wants to sleep peacefully tonight. she opted for rum so she can easily pass out once she's back to her apartment."
"if she can still walk back to her apartment." sooyoung looked at the glasses in front of her.
"i believe that's the reason she asked you to come, sooyoung, so you could put those muscles into use." sunmi chuckled.
"i won't cry tonight," you said, straightening up on the chair. "i... i won't think about her tonight. i'll sleep right away."
sunmi patted your back. "okay. okay. but maybe you should stop drinking now. it's hard to rehearse with a hangover."
"i'm fine. i'm fffine..."
"seulgi?"
the four of you turned to look at the voice. you stood up from the chair out of shock.
for a second there, you are convinced you're already drunk because you see joohyun standing in front of you.
but no, if this is only your imagination, then amber shouldn't be there beside her.
"unnie?"
"i was trying to contact you the whole day," said joohyun, looking irritated. "i didn't get a single response."
you glanced at yerim and sunmi, as if trying to ask for their help. but you're on your own.
"umm. i... uh... i forgot to charge my phone last night. my battery's out."
"you didn't even think of borrowing your friends' charger this whole day?"
"uh. we were busy with the rehearsals. right, girls?" you turned to the other women on the table who all nodded. "i was planning to charge my phone once i'm home."
joohyun crossed her arms. "seulgi, you're drunk."
"we're having fun." you smiled. you turned to your colleagues. "oh, by the way, guys, this is my joohyun unnie. and over there is amber, her girlfriend. amber, unnie, these are my favorite artists: sunmi unnie, sooyoung, and yerim."
they all waved at each other.
"why don't you join us?" you asked amber and joohyun. "the night is still young. we can have a few drinks, right?"
amber stepped forward. "seulgi. we're here because joohyun was worried sick over you. she's close to panicking because you haven't returned any of her messages."
you looked at joohyun, feeling guilty. "i'm sorry, unnie. i didn't expect you'd contact me."
"and since when did i not contact you?" joohyun muttered to herself.
you stared at her, pained at the thought you're hurting her with your actions. you know yourself you're being selfish. you want her to worry about you as much as she's worrying for amber.
but what will you get in return? nothing, right?
"i'm sorry." you looked down, playing your hands with the hem of your shirt. "but how did you find out i'm here?"
"we checked your social media." amber showed you her phone, displaying your picture with yerim and sooyoung earlier. "good thing one of your friends tagged you in her post."
you glared at yerim again. once this is over, you will end her.
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