Chapter 17
When It's Time to Let Go
“Changmin-ah, where are you?” asked Jessica.
“I’m on my way. Why do I have to come again, today? I was there last night.”
“He wasn’t awake last night. He’s awake today and he wants to see you.”
Changmin groaned and pulled his car into the parking spot. He shut the car off and got out. After locking the door, he walked into the hospital, calmly. He was praying that no one would recognize him. He was wearing a cap, face mask, hoodie, and sun glasses. As soon as he entered the building, he was flanked by two bodyguards.
“I’m here to see Kim Youngmin.” The receptionist and showed him to the room. The room was guarded by bodyguards. They nodded at him and stepped aside to let him in. When he went inside, Youngmin was sitting up, waiting for him.
“Where’s Jessica?” he asked, casually. He stood at the door, far from Youngmin.
“Take a seat, Changmin-ssi”, ordered Youngmin in a weak and raspy voice. Changmin picked a chair as far from Youngmin as possible.
“Don’t worry, I won’t bite you.” His laugh turned into a racking cough. Changmin watched him, warily.
“I’m afraid that you will…” muttered Changmin. Out loud he said, “What do you want?”
“I want to apologize for everything I ever did”, said Youngmin.
“For what?”
“You’ll force me to say it, huh? I have nothing else to lose so I guess I’ll give you what you want.”
Changmin waited for him to continue.
“I’m sorry for trying to force myself ually on you”, said Youngmin. “I’m sorry for using you to get to Jaejoong. I’m sorry for breaking up your group. I’m sorry for threatening you. I’m just so sorry.”
His voice was cracking and tears were starting to fall. Changmin watched him, silently. He listened to the whole confession. His emotions were swirling in his head. He was angry but also sad because he knew it wasn’t just Youngmin’s fault.
“I was fascinated by Jaejoong. I used you to get to Jaejoong.”
Coughs racked Youngmin’s body as he spoke.
“I planned for him to be there when I kissed you so that he’d sacrifice himself. I didn’t even want you. I just wanted Jaejoong.
“I feel like a horrible person when I see what I did. I split up Yunho and Jaejoong, who were truly in love. And Jaejoong attempted to commit suicide because Yunho left him. Even through it all, Jaejoong remained loyal to Yunho. So, he never even loved me when I loved him.”
Youngmin sighed and sat up.
“Grab that bag beside the air conditioner and bring it over here.”
Changmin picked it up and walked it over. Tears had began to fall from his eyes, as well. He handed it to Youngmin. Youngmin opened the bag and pulled out papers. He set them on the table for food and spread them out.
“This is the contract we drew up with C-JeS and Warner Music Asia.” He paused to let it sink in, looking up at Changmin.
Changmin looked at the contract but it was in English so he couldn‘t understand it.
“JYJ and HoMin are now Tohoshinki’s subgroups.”
Changmin gasped, his eyes opening wide.
“What does that mean? Does that mean---” He trailed off, his excitement making it hard to speak.
“It means that DBSK is once again a five member group.”
Changmin couldn’t help but shout for joy. Outside, the bodyguards looked in and saw him dancing around. They smiled, shook their heads, and turned around.
“Yunho, Jaejoong, and Junsu are going to be so happy. I cannot wait! Oh, and Yunho--”, he turned back to a quiet Youngmin.
“Yunho will be home soon. He’s got issues to work through. We’ve already sent him a letter.”
“You know where he is?” asked Changmin. “I’ve been looking all over for him.”
“If he wanted to be found, he would have been found… Anyway, tell JYJ what has happened if they don’t find out from their company. But, keep it a secret from the media so that it will be a total surprise when they come back. Their manager will fill you all in on everything.”
“Why can’t you do it? You’ll be better soon?” asked Changmin.
Youngmin laughed which turned into a cough. It was worse from before, this was a racking cough that seemed to shake his whole body. Youngmin’s heart rate began accelerating on the machine.
Changmin looked around for the nurse button. He pressed it and the nurses rushed in. They ushered Changmin out. He could hear them working on Youngmin from inside and prayed that he was okay.
Although he had done bad things, he was still his sunbae. He was blindly moved by love and influenced in a bad way. Changmin didn’t want him to die, though.
As he stood there worrying, he heard it. That shrill, constant beeping sound that signaled the end of life. Changmin pushed the guards out of the way and bust into the room. The beeping was even louder. The nurse looked at him sadly. The doctor announced,
“Patient #A2005, time of death 12:42, date 29 February 2012.”
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