Jongin tightens his grip on his phone. He thinks he can hear the generic pop song blaring from Chanyeol’s earphones, seconds before Chanyeol makes his way towards the fridge without as much as a word. 

To Jongin’s dismay, Sehun isn’t saying a word, which makes him that much more aware of the ferocious pounding in his chest. As much as he wants to, Jongin can’t bring himself to scramble for the door. He’s pretty much glued to his chair at this point, anyway, and he gives up on moving a muscle when Chanyeol walks back to the table.

Jongin reminisces his and Sehun’s conversation, and he automatically looks back at Chanyeol, who is still ignoring them to the fullest. It brings Jongin slight relief knowing that Sehun kept his promise of not telling Chanyeol anything and, for once, Jongin sort of wishes that Sehun would put his godly people skills to good use. Because the silence, which is so thick you could cut it with a knife, is gradually driving him closer towards a mental breakdown.

Chanyeol clears his throat a minute later. ”Did you get her email?” he asks Sehun, words muffled by the food in his mouth.

Sehun raises an eyebrow. He says something about not having checked his inbox in a couple of hours, all while Jongin tries his best to become one with the wall behind them. It doesn’t work. 

”You know, the thing we were supposed to have with Printing tomorrow,” Chanyeol lowly says. His silver ring almost blinds Jongin when he shifts. ”Apparently something happened during the whole planning process, since we’re clashing with...the others now.”

Sehun is silent for a moment. ”The ’others’?” he chuckles. ”You mean-”

”Yeah, them,” Chanyeol interrupts without looking up from his phone, all while gesturing at Jongin with his fork. 

Jongin doesn’t even bother protesting, and he looks back at his lap just in time to miss the annoyed spark that flashes in Sehun’s eyes. A part of Jongin wants to thank Chanyeol for reminding him about tomorrow’s morning meeting, since he’d forgotten all about it up until now. But he can’t bring himself to utter a word, especially not when they fall into silence yet again.

With Sehun and Chanyeol occasionally exchanging a few words, Jongin tries distracting himself by trying to come up with the perfect birthday gift for Jungah. Except with his windpipe closing up, he can’t string together a single idea. While Sehun might not have any children of his own, Jongin knows that Sehun will think of the ultimate birthday present in a heartbeat. 

To Jongin’s relief, Sehun goes back to giving him his complete and undivided attention when Chanyeol puts his earphones back in.

”What did you want to ask me, by the way?” Sehun asks, turning to face Jongin. 

Even though Chanyeol isn’t paying them a speck of attention (and probably can’t hear them), Jongin still feels himself break into a sweat. ”Nothing,” he says. ”I mean, it was…never mind, forget it.”

Sehun blinks. ”I thought you said you needed a-”

”It was nothing,” Jongin squawks, only to mutter an apology when Chanyeol sends him an annoyed glare. 

Thankfully, Sehun doesn’t push it any further. But Jongin figures that he wouldn’t have gotten to, anyway, since the door swings open half a second later. And if Jongin wasn’t dying to sprint out of his seat a minute ago, it’s nothing compared to the way his stomach stirs when Baekhyun walks in and sends them all a bright grin. 

Jongin can only watch as Baekhyun creeps up behind Chanyeol, who yanks his earphones out with a shriek when Baekhyun goes on to poke his sides. It’s not until Baekhyun takes a seat next to Chanyeol that Jongin moves to push his chair back, because all he wants right now is a pound of nicotine and something to scream into.

However, Sehun asking him what he's doing has him remaining in his seat. Jongin doesn’t know why he’s never noticed it before, but there’s something about the calmness in Sehun’s tone that has the magic of making his nerves settle on the spot. Knowing there’s nothing for him at his desk, Jongin opts to remain where he is, all while tuning out Baekhyun’s rambling about the five tier cake he and Chanyeol picked out for the ceremony.

By some miracle, Jongin manages to make it to the end of Baekhyun’s rant without feeling an urge to dunk his head in the sink. He looks like a foolish, social outcast right now and he knows it, but Jongin is more focused on taming the fierce pounding in his chest than acknowledge Chanyeol sending him dirty looks across the table.

After stealing a forkful of Chanyeol’s lunch, Baekhyun’s expression turns smug. ”So, what’s the deal with you two, exactly?” he asks between loud chews.

Jongin blinks. He’s been so busy ignoring Baekhyun’s sappy, pre-wedding nonsense that he initially has no idea what Baekhyun is talking about. It's not until Jongin comes to the realization that he’s essentially resting his head on Sehun’s shoulder that he flies up like a rocket. Jongin doesn’t exactly blame himself, since being forced to listen to Baekhyun for too long would make just about anybody fall asleep. With his head spinning due to inhaling Sehun’s strong perfume for so long, Jongin erupts in a fit of apologies, all while Baekhyun snickers to himself. 

Baekhyun grabs a napkin. ”What’re you even doing here to begin with?” he hums, wiping his chin.

Relieved at the subject change, Jongin shrugs. ”Just felt like taking a break,” he mutters. He tries not to think about the fact that his break is probably morphing into a vacation at this point. 

Baekhyun chuckles. ”Roger that."

The door opens and Jongdae skips into the room. He seems to stare at Jongin and Sehun for an uncomfortable amount of time before retrieving a half empty bottle of Coke from the fridge. To say that Jongin regrets not bolting outside when he had the chance would be an understatement.

Jongdae stops inches from the table. ”What’s crackalackin'?” he asks, unscrewing the cap.

”Y’should put your name on those things, I swear I saw Taemin take a sip of that this morning,” Baekhyun says, wrinkling his nose in disgust. 

Being his gossip hungry self, Jongdae ignores Baekhyun’s remark to the fullest. ”Don’t tell me y’all got started on the disgusting lovey dovey wedding talk without me,” he says after taking a sip of his own.

Jongin tunes out Baekhyun and Jongdae’s shrill voices as he tries sinking through the floor without anybody noticing. It doesn’t work, and he’s seconds from crawling under the table to escape all the noise when his phone vibrates with a call. He's excusing himself and flying towards the door less than a fraction of second later.

___

Once he’s safely in the hallway, Jongin hurriedly swipes right before he can even check the caller ID.

”You saw my message, right?” his mother asks before he even gets to ask who it is.

Jongin rubs the back of his neck. Right. ”Yeah,” he says apologetically. ”Sorry, I got…distracted.”

”The weatherman said it was gonna rain all night,” she says in a concerned tone, ”and you know how I feel about her being all alone like that.” She sighs. ”She might be a toughie, but she’s only nine and never experienced a thunderstorm all by herself.”

Trying not to make contact with one of the salesmen, Jongin makes sure to keep his voice down. ”Yeah, I know,” he mutters, biting his lower lip.

”And I know how it is over there, but it’s going to get dark at around five,” his mother continues, the worry growing in her voice.

Jongin can’t help but sigh. ”You know I won’t get to leave early,” he says.

”You’ve been working yourself to death for the past few weeks, it’s appalling that they can get away with putting young men through such hell,” she scoffs before her voice turns serious. ”But you know what I’m about to ask.”

Even though he knows it’s already useless, Jongin hears himself protest, anyway. ”I also don’t want her to be all alone, but...” he sighs. ”You know I can’t just-”

”No son of mine is too busy to take care his own daughter,” she interrupts in a sharp tone, which totally doesn’t make Jongin want to shrivel up and disappear forever. 

”But can’t she take care of herself for just a few hours? She’s used to being alone,” Jongin blurts out and almost slaps a hand over his mouth when all he hears is silence. A mother’s silence is never, ever a good thing. ”Wait, I meant-”

”Kim Jongin, you’re heading home the minute your shift ends and keeping your daughter company,” his mother says in a tone that lets Jongin know that he’s already lost the argument. ”Not to mention she’s spent so much time with us as of lately, she’s probably dying to be with you for a change.”

A wave of guilt washes over Jongin. Despite the words weighing down his tongue, he forces himself to swallow them. ”Fine, I’m sorry,” he sighs. ”She won't be alone tonight, I promise.” 

”That’s my boy,” she says and the warmth in her tone only makes Jongin’s anxiety skyrocket. ”I managed to get one of your father’s old cell phones going, so I put both our numbers on it just in case, so if somebody calls you tonight, it’s probably her.”

Muttering a low 'Okay', Jongin hangs up. He already knows that Jungah won’t be calling him, since she isn’t expecting him to come. Nevertheless, he makes a mental note to pick up as soon as she calls before running a hand through his matted hair. 

Jongin doesn’t know why he thought it was a bright idea to run his mouth like a fool, because all he has to do is think about the mountain of work on his desk to know that he definitely won’t be home until eleven. For some odd reason, he still feels a spark of hope telling him that he just might make it to five o’clock if he works hard enough. Jongdae’s piercing cackle has Jongin flying towards the stairs without as much as another thought.

                                4:46 P.M

For once, Jongin has to give it to himself for being so unrealistically optimistic.

Because, no matter how much he tries convincing himself otherwise, he knows that there’s no way he’s going to be able to polish off the remainder of his assignments in under fifteen minutes. Jongin doesn’t know why he even bothered in the first place, since he sort of gave up on trying to reach his goal when three o’clock rolled around and he still had more than half of his reports left. If his estimations are correct, Jungah has been home alone for nearly two hours without giving him a single call. Jongin suddenly feels the juvenile urge to call up his mother and tell her that Jungah doesn’t need him and that she’s better off without him, but he scraps the idea.

Jongin has to remind himself that he isn’t being a bad guy by taking his workload into consideration, given that he’s already terribly behind due to his godforsaken forty minute break earlier. On the other hand, Jongin knows for a fact that his mother will go into conniptions if she finds out that Jungah was left to fend for herself until midnight. 

A thought, the same thought from before, hits him, and even though a part of Jongin doesn’t want to, an even bigger part of him is already fearing the inevitable punishment from his mother.

The next thing Jongin knows, he’s tiptoeing past his boss, who is busy talking to Luhan a few cubicles down (probably giving him flack for failing to complete the graph, Jongin thinks).

___ 

On the second floor, a handful of people from Sales are already in the midst of packing up their things for the day. Jongin makes sure not to look any of them in the eye as he makes his way towards the cubicle in the middle of the hallway. Thankfully, he can’t pick up on Taeyeon’s disgustingly sweet perfume, because the last thing he wants is to die from getting his ears talked off.

Jongin seems to have chosen to come upstairs in the nick of time, because Sehun also seems to be on the road to heading home with his coat draped across his chair and briefcase on his desk. It only makes Jongin’s gut churn, so he quickly clears his throat before he can change his mind. 

Sehun spins around in his seat at the sound. A warm smile tugs on the corners of his lips when he sees who’s standing in the doorway. ”I don’t know why I expected it to be you,” he chuckles before resuming typing.

Jongin blinks. Not knowing what to say, he awkwardly inches further into the small room when he hears Taeyeon's heels rounding the corner. Sehun must have had a lot to do today, since his typically spotless desk looks like it’s been struck by a tornado and a grenade at the same time. The entire cubicle is filled with his minty cologne, and Jongin doesn’t even realize that he’s smiling to himself until Sehun asks him what he’s here for.

It takes Jongin a good minute to come back down to Earth. ”I was wondering if you could...” He cuts himself off. ”I mean, sorry for running off like that, I…I had to take a call.”

Sehun adjusts his watch. ”I was actually wondering what all that was about,” he chuckles. ”Listening to them talk about the same old thing got a little redundant, so it was probably a good thing, anyway. You didn't miss much.”

Jongdae calls something along the lines of ’Later, es’, to which their boss responds by adding another hour to his overtime on Friday. To say that Jongin almost forgives Jongdae for being an insufferable douchebag majority of the time would be an understatement.

”So, the thing is,” Jongin starts, ”that it’s gonna rain tonight.” He presses his lips together. ”Like, a lot.”

Sehun blinks. ”Was that all you-”

”I meant that it’s gonna storm,” Jongin interrupts. ”And Jungah’s been home alone for a few hours already, but I don’t want her to be all by herself during a thunderstorm, y'know?”

Sehun is silent as his eyebrows knit together. ”Did you say she’s been home alone for a few hours?” he echoes. ”But what about your mother?”

Jongin bites the inside of his cheek. ”She called me and said that Jungah wanted to work on her schoolwork instead, so she went home,” he says. ”Look, I won’t be able to finish until much later tonight and she won’t let me go, so I was-”

”What were you thinking leaving a nine year girl home alone so late?” Sehun sighs in exasperation. ”Christ, she’s way too young to-”

”But she’s used to being home alone,” Jongin blurts out in a meek attempt at defending himself, only to take it back when he sees the look on Sehun’s face. ”Here, I was wondering if you could help me out--” He retrieves his house keys from his pocket. ”You know my address so just…all you have to do is wait for me to get back, okay? I swear I won’t be long.”

Sehun eyes the object before accepting it with a sigh. ”Alright,” he says. ”Fine. I’ll do it. But, you need to promise me you’ll be back as soon as you’ve finished up.” He looks at Jongin with a expression so serious that Jongin’s knees almost give in. ”Okay?”

Jongin nearly collapses with relief. ”I promise,” he says, fighting the urge to envelope Sehun in a bear hug. He watches as Sehun quickly gets out of his chair and slides his coat on. ”I mean, you don’t need to…you don’t need to do this if you don’t want to.”

Turning up his collar, Sehun shakes his head. ”It’s no problem at all, I’m happy to help.”

Jongin ignores the electric spark that shoots up his spine when he’s hit with a blast of Sehun’s perfume. ”There’s nothing for you to worry about, since she likes you and all,” he says.

Sehun hums something in response. ”I’m sure we’ll have a good time,” he chuckles before his voice turns serious. ”But like I keep saying, it’s not Jungah I’m worried about.”

”I’m sure you’ll get along well,” Jongin chokes out, ”since you said she was cute and all.” He wonders if his throat must be closing up due to his nicotine withdrawal when Sehun takes a step forward until their faces are mere inches apart. 

”Perhaps,” Sehun says. They’re standing so close that Jongin can smell the fruity products in his hair. He ruffles Jongin’s hair when Jongin only looks like a question mark. "Make sure to come by as soon as you can, alright?"

Jongin nearly shoots through the ceiling in surprise when Sehun suddenly brushes a lock of hair from his eyes. Thankfully, Sehun turns back around and switches off his desk light before Jongin can scream out loud. 

What the .

                10:45 P.M

Leaning back in his chair, Jongin adjusts the earphones in his ears. He’s technically not allowed to listen to music under any circumstances while on duty, but he found himself breaking the rule an hour ago in worry of falling asleep mid report. Not to mention the entire office building is nearly empty save for him.

The weatherman his mother was talking about was definitely right, because the rain hasn’t stopped coming down ever since it started up a little less than twenty minutes after his and Sehun’s brief conversation. If Jongin remembers correctly, the rain was to continue until Wednesday, so he makes a mental note to park his car in the garage when he arrives tomorrow morning.

Jongin picks up his highlighter, only to put it back down when he thinks about what Sehun and Jungah must be doing right now. A part of Jongin knows that he probably did Jungah a favor by sending Sehun over instead, since she’s most definitely having a better time with Sehun than she ever would with him. Jongin easily pictures both of them playing board games and or watching movies on the couch, and he has to shove the thought aside when his stomach almost turns itself into knots. All it does is make Jongin wonder how on Earth Sehun could have developed such an amazing bond with Jungah in such a short time despite not having any children of his own. Then again, Jongin figures that it must be another one of Sehun’s magical skills.

Even though he’s already finished for the day, Jongin can’t bring himself to get up and put his coat on. Mostly because his thighs have gone numb, but mainly because he knows, deep down, that he isn’t needed back at home. In fact, Jongin already knows that he would just end up being a burden to both Jungah and Sehun if he were to walk in the door, so he opts to wait just a few more hours to show his face. 

But Jongin gives up on waiting in fear of withering away from boredom, and it’s not until the clock strikes eleven that he flies out of his chair. He makes a mental note to sneak his earphones into the office more often because, for once, he actually managed to work undisturbed for almost five hours straight.

Jongin barely gets a chance to reach for his briefcase, though, before his pocket vibrates. A part of him fears that it might be another parking ticket, since he's forgotten to move his car again, but his nerves settle as soon as he checks his phone.

A photo of Sehun, taken in their kitchen and sent by an unknown number that Jongin doesn’t need to ask to know that it's Jungah, greets him. Jongin figures that he was right about them playing something, because Sehun and Jungah seem to be engaged in an origami folding competition, judging by the piles of crafted animals scattered all around the carpet. It’s not until Jongin notices that Jungah must have placed one of her paper boats on top of Sehun’s head that his entire chest swells with adoration. All the while, Sehun sitting cross legged on the floor while folding his own paper boat, and Jongin wouldn’t be surprised if Jungah took the photo without his knowledge.

Jongin is about to type out a few red hearts when his phone suddenly rings in his hand, and the warmth in his chest is quickly replaced by a heaviness that sinks to the bottom of his gut when he sees his mother’s contact photo on the screen.

As much as he wants to ignore it, Jongin finds himself swiping right before he can stop himself. ”Hey,” he mutters. He doesn’t know why he’s whispering, since he’s essentially the only human being left in the building at this point.

”Kim Jongin, you listen to me,” his mother says in a tone she hasn’t used ever since he misbehaved as a toddler. ”I may be old, but I am your mother, and when I give you orders, I expect you to follow them, do you understand?”

For a second, Jongin has no idea what to say. ”What do you-”

”I think you’re aware of what Jungah sent us,” she interrupts, seconds before a clap of thunder shakes the walls. ”I thought you were home already, how could you ever think to send your colleague to your own house? How dare you do something like that without permission.”

Jongin swallows. ”But I talked to Sehun and he said he was fine with-”

”I meant my permission,” she sharply says. She’s silent for a moment. ”I’m sorry to have to tell you this, but your father and I have taken a much bigger role in this than we were ever supposed to.”

Jongin bites his lip hard enough to draw blood. Despite the words clogging his throat, he can’t choke them out no matter what. He already knows where this is going. 

His mother sighs heavily. ”When you first suggested we look after her, I thought it would only be a for few days, not…this.”

”You know I’m always scheduled to work overtime,” Jongin retorts, ignoring the sharp stabbing in his chest. 

”I know that your job is stressful, and I know how important it is for you to get it done,” she says in a deflated tone. ”But lately, I’ve been getting the feeling that you're dumping her on us just because it’s convenient for you, and if I’m going to be frank, I don't think your father and I will be able to put up with it for much longer.”

Jongin clenches his jaw. ”I can’t quit my job,” he blurts out.

”That’s not what I’m saying.”

”You think this is enjoyable for me?” Jongin chokes, not knowing if he’s supposed to laugh or cry. ”I had to pick Sehun, okay? It was either him or nothing at all, I couldn’t leave early and you knew that.”

They fall into silence while winds continue to blow, to the point that Jongin worries the roof might cave in and the whole office might flood. Watching the rain droplets racing each other down the glass for so long must have messed with his head, because Jongin doesn’t register the warm tears flowing down his face until his mother speaks again.

”Jungah often says that she misses you when it’s just the two of us,” his mother says after a minute.

Not even bothering to hold back his loud sob, Jongin shakes his head. ”Of course she does.”

”Believe me,” she continues, ”I’ll often hear her asking your father where you are and why you’re never able to be with her. I mean, you’ve hardly even seen each other for the past six months.” She’s silent for a minute. ”I never know how to respond, and it pains me to see her like this.”

Jongin wipes his eyes with the back of his hand. Just say it. Just say it already.

”This can’t only be because of your job,” she says softly, almost knowingly. ”Even when you got off work at five you always had that look on your face. You don’t need to tell me anything, but it can’t go on like this.”

Jongin can’t be bothered to respond.  

”And I’m sorry to have to be dropping it all on you like this, but you have to hear this, you have to,” she says. ”Your father and I are getting old and even though we’d love to, we won't be able to do this forever. You’re barely even twenty eight with a whole life with Jungah ahead of you, so make sure you use it while you can.”

Jongin swallows the lump in his throat, suddenly feeling like a five year old confessing to stealing from a candy store.  ”I can’t quit my job, I can’t,” he sobs.

”Of course you shouldn’t, no son of mine is a quitter,” she says. ”But what I’m trying to say is that this can’t go on any further.”

Jongin lets a breath he didn’t know he was holding. ”Just say it already,” he mutters.

His mother sighs to herself. ”You're ditching your extra work hours to spend time with your daughter," she says. "Your father and I will happily look after her on weekends, but from this point onwards, I want you at home by five o'clock sharp. Do you understand?”

8:49 P.M

Gripping his car keys, Jongin tries not to trip and fall face first into a huge puddle after he descends the few steps to the entrance. The wind is blowing so ferociously that he genuinely worries he'll be swept off his feet. His mother’s words still echo in his head, but Jongin tries his best to shove them aside as he locates his car in the rain. If tomorrow’s weather is going to be anything like this, he’s definitely parking it in the garage.

Jongin halts when he thinks he hears muffled thumping somewhere in the distance. Sure enough, the familiar building greets him from across the street when he looks up. Upon closer inspection, Jongin thinks he can make out Junmyeon's quick self mixing cocktails behind the counter, which only makes his nerves tingle like they’ve been set on fire.

At this point, Jongin doesn’t even know why he’s bothering trying to convince himself. While Jungah might be sending him cutesy photos, he knows that she couldn’t care less about him being there or not. And while Sehun might have asked him to come back, Jongin knows that he isn’t wanted.

The bass seems to get louder from across the street, all while the bright, neon lights seem scream his name. Knowing the storm is only going to get worse as the night progresses, Jongin ditches his car before stepping out onto the road.

Just one drink.